TAMPA., FL (Special to Sportsman's Daily) So it's about that time again. Super Bowl XLIII. Look, I don't mind the build-up, the hype, the media asking stupid questions -- "if you were a vegetable what kind of vegetable would you be." (I'd be a fucking ear of corn, moron, how...

Bill O'Reilly now has a "Policing the Net" segment on his Fox News show. Seriously. This is coming from a guy who has roughly the sexual impulse control of Tommy Lee on Spanish fly. But Sir Spanks-a-Lot has made himself judge and jury over what is appropriate for the World...

As Star has reported John plans to propose on Feb. 11 -- Jen's 40th birthday. When John's friend asked if his girl will be wearing the ring, John laughed and replied, "There will be a big story coming out of the Oscars that night -- and it won't be about...

EXT - THE ISLAND - DAY BARACK OBAMA, HURLEY, and CLAIRE are running through the jungle. All are sweating, out of breath, and wide-eyed. Obama leads the group, determined. OBAMA: Come on! The group crashes through the trees and brush, frantic. Finally, we see what is chasing them: the smoke...

New eras don't usually start right away. The Pleistocene Era didn't get going for at least 40,000 years, and the Sixties didn't really start until 1964. But the Obama Era kicked into gear right away. I could barely keep track of Day One. Here's what I remember: The media was...

At Fox News, inauguration day looked like the first afternoon a Negro used the local country club tennis courts following a legal settlement. While there were many forced smiles and obligatory discussions of this "historic" day, there was just as much complaining about the size of the event, the expense...

The Academy Award nominations for 2008 films will be announced on Thursday; the following are the most likely contenders. Good luck to them all: Grandpa Racist T. Crotchetypants and His Magical Redemption Gun Three Hours of "Gump"-Taste-Tested Syrup From Dead Author Who...

11:11 Dan Quayle is back!! 11:11 And he brought Al Gore!!! 11:14 I am so sick of hearing about George H. W. going sky diving 11:15 Bill doesn't look happy 11:15 Haha one Senator objected to Hillary's nomination 11:17 How is he supposed to sky...

Jan. 15, 2009 - Veteran Air Force/US Airways pilot Chesley B. Sullenberger III successfully lands an Airbus A320, Flight 1549 from New York to Charlotte, North Carolina, onto the Hudson River after birds fly into its engines; 155 passengers are rescued, unharmed. Jan. 16, 2009 - Media report spotless record...

If video killed the radio star, the Internet has killed the porn star. The information super-highway is about to intersect with the Hershey highway and, soon, no one will be able to get off. I can live without the auto industry. I can accept that Fannie Mae may kick my...

The following e-mail showed up in my box. Its author is Ronald, a Canadian Black Goose, and the only indication as to its origin is the line "Sent from my iPhone." Dear Humans, Once again, history is written by the victors. I'm referring to the flight that had to be...

This Week In Cheating Jeff Kreisler's first book, "Get Rich Cheating," will be published by Harper Collins this Spring.

As his last official duty in office, President George W. Bush announced the induction of America's 51st state. "I would like to welcome everyone to the great State of Emergency," Bush declared. "This state will go down in history as one of America's most influential entities; it will affect the...

My colleague E. Cunningham clued me in to one Karl Rove's Twitter feed (it's the 90's, so of course he's on Twitter.) You hear that people... NO ATTACHMENTS! George W. is still running Windows Millennium Edition and it might not open. Which is a shame, because between myself...

As the last days of the current administration draw to a close, millions of writers, bloggers, comedians, talk-show hosts and YouTube celebrities are working themselves into a licking frenzy as they get their last shots in at President George Bush, the Younger. Goodbye and good riddance, you say? At long...

As representatives from Ukraine and Russia are getting ready to meet on Saturday to discuss the gas row, Europeans are being frozen to the edge, going so far as to burn their beloved 1992 David Hasselhoff Calendars to stay warm. Agreements made this week have fallen apart, so in order...

Although Israel is planning many more days of bombing and killing in Gaza, it reportedly wants a three hour ceasefire to allow its troops to watch the 15th annual Screen Actors Guild awards, live from Hollywood on January 25. "It's the only awards show where only actors vote for actors,"...

PETA did it again. Instead of doing something worthwhile with their lives, the deodorant-less People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals have decided it's time once again to boycott something complete pointless. The war is over and hungry people have been fed so it's time for us...