03/11/2008 09:13 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Governor, Govern Thyself!

You can't effectively govern the people in public if you can't effectively govern yourself in private. Period. End of story. How can we allow you to make decisions that affect the private lives of others when you can't even control your own?

Whether you're what's-his-name in that airport toilet, or that guy with the interns, or Client #9 at The Mayflower, the right thing for you to do is to get the hell out of public life. I'm not preaching. I'm no Puritan. I'm just saying, if you can't follow the law, you gotta get out. These guys pound the Bible or wag their fingers while proclaiming what's right and what's wrong, then take a wide stance in a bathroom stall or leave the door to room 871 ajar.

Did you read the transcripts? According to the Emperor's Club booker, the Gov. "would ask you to do things that, like, you might not think were safe." Jesus. These guys should either keep their zippers zipped or keep their traps shut and stop telling us how to live. Let's make sure the people we're electing -- and their spouses -- have an internal governor who doesn't take nights and weekends (and Valentine's Days) off.

We need leaders who are not going to be distracted by the explosion of their shadow lives.