12/02/2009 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Coming Soon: Rocktober

Ladies and gentlemen, get ready for the greatest show on Earth. Barnum & Bailey ain't got nothin' on us. Coming to a (Houston) Street or (Rafael Betan) Court near you, we've got a show guaranteed to delight (Eric) Young and Jason Giambi alike. We've got fireworks, we've got HD screens, and we've got the best combination of drama, excitement, and a possible October blizzard that you have ever seen. Or at least the best you've seen since 2007.

Interested? Want to know more? Let me tell you about it:

The show involves just a few simple ingredients. Ingredient number one: October Baseball. Already sounds pretty good, right? I mean seriously, is there anything in this world better than October Baseball?

First of all, name me one other phrase that better describes the postseason of a major professional sport. Can't do it, right? Let's start with the NFL. From what I've been told by people in New England, "January/February Football" is pretty exciting, but that phrase doesn't quite roll off your tongue. The Stanley Cup Playoffs? Not bad, but that phrase gives me no information about the sport involved or the time of year. What are we talking about here? September Bass Fishing? January Jai Alai? I just don't know.

And what about basketball? Call me crazy, but I don't think the NBA is rushing to prepare an ad campaign featuring the name of each of the 17 months involved in an NBA postseason. "February-March-April-May-June-July-August Basketball" just doesn't sound that appealing. (What's that you say? Only three months are involved in the NBA postseason, not 17? Oh I'm sorry, you're right, that's waaaay better. A postseason that swallows nearly one quarter of the entire calendar year and involves more than half the teams in the league, many of which are under .500, is definitely the best way to crown a champion. My bad. Someone get David Stern on the phone so I can apologize.)

Sorry, I got distracted. Where was I? Oh right, the first ingredient: October Baseball.

In addition to its beautiful (and factually accurate) name, the first ingredient has no rival in its combination of pure, unadulterated drama with explosive, wet-your-pants excitement on every pitch. And with nearly 300 pitches thrown in every game, the possibilities are endless.

Plus, consider the incredible moments -- the historic moments -- that October Baseball has given us over the years. In the last two decades alone, October Baseball has provided enough memories to last a lifetime. I only need to say the names (Gibson, Bream, Carter, Boone, Holliday), and the memories come flooding back. No sir, you can't get that kind of history anywhere else.

Still not convinced? Still like the NBA system better? Don't worry, I haven't told you about the other ingredients yet.

Now ladies and gentlemen, normally I am not one to tinker with perfection. Personally I'm a big believer in "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" (*cough* *cough* JoshMcDaniels *cough*). But stay with me on this one. What if we did this: What if we took the greatest postseason on Earth, and raised it about 5,280 feet? Do I have your attention?

And then, what if we took this elevated game and surrounded it with the loudest, craziest, most passionate sports fans this country has to offer? Still listening?

And what if we took this high-altitude game surrounded by the most passionate fans on the planet, added the hottest team in baseball, and played it in the crisp autumn air only the Rocky Mountains can provide?

Doesn't that sound pretty good? Doesn't that sound like something you'd want to see? Hell, you might even pay to see something like that, right?

Well sports fans, I've got good news: this show does exist, and it's coming soon to a city near you. It was created not long ago (sometime around 2007, if memory serves) by the Baseball Gods themselves, and yesterday the Baseball Gods announced a repeat performance.

So what do we call this masterpiece? What do we call this holier-than-holy combination of the perfect game with the perfect atmosphere?

Ladies and gentlemen, we call it Rocktober. And it's back.