09/08/2007 12:40 pm ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Bin Laden Slams Dems, Praises Chomsky, and Promises Lower Taxes

George Bush vowed to capture Osama bin Laden - dead or alive. But then he turned his attention to the real object of his desire, Iraq, leaving the perpetrator of 9/11 on the loose, free to offer kudos to Noam Chomsky and Michael Scheuer's Imperial Hubris, and to fret over global warming and U.S. mortgage rates. And, by the look of things, free to stock up on Grecian Formula.

Wherever bin Laden is, they apparently have CSPAN. In his latest tape, he seems very up on U.S. politics, castigating Democrats for failing to fight hard enough to end the war. "You elected the Democratic Party for this purpose," he says to U.S. voters, "but the Democrats haven't made a move worth mentioning. On the contrary, they continue to agree to the spending of tens of billions to continue the killing and war there."

America's Most Wanted Terrorist also appears to have studied the GOP playbook on attracting converts. "I invite you to embrace Islam," he says at the end of his new diatribe. "There are no taxes in Islam, but rather there is a limited Zakaat [alms] totaling 2.5 percent."

Read his lips: very low taxes! Pandering for support just the way George Bush would have drawn it up.