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It’s time to cancel the Rummy show.
Remember when it was fun to watch Don Rumsfeld come out and do his preening Master of the Universe act?
Actually, I never thought it was that fun -- and I was always surprised by how much the self-loathing press loved Rummy’s cocky cutesy little putdowns and the jabberwocky nonsense answers he’d use to duck a question without uttering a single word of substance.
But he intimidated them, humiliated them, and so they subserviently accepted their role in the kabuki theater performances his appearances became.
But with two to three soldiers and dozens of Iraqis dying each and every day, his smug verbal pirouettes are no longer so endearing.
As time goes on, it’s become clear that he sees his role less as making sure our soldiers vanquish the enemy than making sure he vanquishes the press and the straw men he puts so much rhetorical energy into creating.
But the problem for Rummy is that the raw material for his straw men is no longer just the Democrats, it’s his own party, too.
There he was at today’s Senate Armed Services Committee hearing, spinning and spinning. But no one’s laughing anymore.
"Timing in war is never predictable,” he said. “There are no guarantees," he said.
That wasn’t what Rumsfeld was saying back at the beginning when he said he "doubted" it would last as long as six months.
Rumsfeld then propped up this latest made-of-straw beauty: "Success in this effort cannot be defined by domestic tranquility."
Who on earth is saying "domestic tranquility" is the goal? How about: “An end to dozens of deaths a day, with no end to the carnage in sight”?
It’s now beyond dispute that the enemy Rumsfeld is most suited to fight is the latest straw enemy he has created in his mind. It’s then that he’s at his most effective -- like a nine-year-old at the arcade, delighting in mowing down his imaginary foes with his BB gun. And then he wants a little prize for his efforts.
Tragically, we’ve got a real enemy to fight, and Rumsfeld is clueless about how to do it.
One person who has clearly had his fill of Rummy is Ted Kennedy, who pointedly asked: "Isn’t it time for you to resign?" After a pregnant pause, Rumsfeld answered: "I've offered my resignation to the president twice."
He should keep trying.
It’s time to pull the plug on the Rummy dog and pony show. Or, better yet, move his all-too-real reality show from the Pentagon to Fox -- where the body count will be significantly lower. And they can use a laugh track to sweeten the deadly silence his tired routine now provokes.
