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Sunday Roundup

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This week, Paula Abdul's Idol journey ended, Sonia Sotomayor's SCOTUS journey officially began, Michael Jackson moved closer to posthumously setting a new record for most autopsies, and Bill Clinton added another line to his resume: superstar envoy. In the battle for the most cringe-inducing quote of the week, Ryan O'Neal staked his claim to the title with his admission that he hit on his daughter, Tatum, at ex-wife Farrah Fawcett's funeral, while George Bush scored major points with his 2003 assertion, newly revealed by French President Jacques Chirac, that he wanted to invade Iraq to thwart Gog and Magog, the Bible's satanic agents of the Apocalypse. Filled with libidinous fervor, O'Neal wanted to bed his kid. Filled with religious fervor, Bush ended up screwing us all.

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