This Just In: More Than Half of Us Are Nuts!

According to a new study by the National Institute of Mental Health, over half of Americans will, at some point in their lives, develop a mental illness. If you were ever wondering at what point these studies would become meaningless, this is probably that point (for me, that point actually arrived six years ago).

There is only one word for this study: bonkers!

In fact, here are a few other breathtaking findings the NIMH might come up with next:

One hundred percent of Americans will, at some point in their lives, die.

Well over half of Americans will, at some point in their lives, think almost everyone around them -- particularly their spouse -- has gone off the deep end.

Two-thirds of Americans will, at some point in their lives, watch a reality show and feel bad about enjoying it.

When reading about the list of behaviors and feelings studies like this categorize as signs of mental illness, over three-quarters of Americans will, at some point in their lives, think, “Hey, that’s me, I guess I have a mental illness, too.” Or, as Dr. Paul McHugh, a professor of psychiatry at John’s Hopkins University, put it: “Pretty soon we’ll have a syndrome for short, fat Irish guys with a Boston accent, and I’ll be mentally ill.”

Thank God for mental health studies -- especially those at least partially funded by the drug industry.