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I Cannot Write

I feel numb.

I cannot think.

I cannot write.

Holding the same passport as some people in Turkey makes me feel unbearably futile these days.

We are in the middle of nowhere, under darkness... That deep and thick darkness has captured us as though we are Jonah and we are in the whale's stomach. We have gone down into that darkness without realizing how fast we are moving. It's time for mutual prayers, with unquestionable faith that we can unite and get over this to see the sun again. If we figure out how to come together hand-in-hand we have a chance of surviving. We all want to break free. However, instead we break out hearts and the hearts of those most sacred to us. We don't even try to bring hands together. We push each other away...

"Man is the cruelest animal," Friedrich Nietzsche said. Over centuries, humanity had a race to prove how much of an animal it could be. It's our turn now... It seems like it's easier to be cruel than one can imagine and many cruel people throughout our history who touched millions of lives did not realize how cruel they were acting. However, time revealed what they are...

Thinking about what's going on in my home country is very disturbing. Turkey wasn't heaven when I was growing up but we all believed bad days would pass and everything would be okay. Decades have passed and many of us in my generation no longer have the patience to wait any longer without seeing the light... My heart is in a billion bloody pieces. Yet, even though it's broken, I still feel its unbearable heaviness.

I feel numb.
I cannot think.
I cannot write.

Everybody has a story you can learn from. This time we are learning from a death. A 15-year-old's death teaches us how vulnerable we are as a society and shows how much we have lost our humanity. It's a time when we cannot even cry together. Nevertheless, this is the time when we need each other's comfort the most...

"One way to know a country is to know how people die there," Albert Camus said. So look at the picture, go and figure it out... Words are useless to explain... Turkey's people, not only in Turkey but all over the world, are on the streets protesting this unjust death of a boy. They are gathering together to offer their condolences. A collective advertisement appeared in the New York Times, stating: "Those responsible do not have a conscience. Use yours. Speak up for justice #Remember Berkin," with the signiture "Gezidemocracymovement"

While all this chaos is taking place, our stubborn, arrogant Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan drew another thick line between him and society once again. His agonizing ignorance is excruciating. His failure to issue a statement of condolence to Elvan's family is another unacceptable indication that he and his party, the Justice and Development Party (AKP), have lost touch.

I feel numb.
I cannot think.
I cannot write.

For more Arzu Kaya-Uranli click here.

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