We juggle a lot. Kid's schedules, dinners, business, and somehow we are expected to do this with grace.
I don't know about you, but I have a daughter who refuses to go to camps; she detests structure and following the pre-programmed nature of organized communities. It seems as though she has inherited my defiant nature, and the payback is on me. The good news is that entrepreneurship may be in her future, but for now, I am left to manage her spirited needs, while maintaining the aggressive growth of my thriving business. It is not easy doing it all, and the truth is that the fallacy of Doing It All, is exactly that, a lie.
The sooner we put our guard down and stop pretending we do not need others to have a harmonious family life, a clean home, and flawless customer service response, and a profitable business, the sooner we can thrive. Yes, thrive.
Operating at high stress levels is not conducive to high level solutions. In fact, science tells us that the opposite is true. Neuroscientists at the University of California found that prolonged stress affects the neural structure; there by affecting learning and memory and encouraging neural patterns that cause anxiety and depression. In short, stress equals limited function to the brain.
So, what is a mom with goals to do when summer schedules are upon us?
Get support; Get a house cleaner, hire a chef, find a college kid to help with laundry, and make sure your support team in your business is fulfilling all the roles and tasks necessary to not just to run the business, but to take care of business in the place that affects us the most, our home.
Taking care of our home relieves a level of stress like nothing else. Imagine, if every day, you knew that once a week someone would come with groceries for the week, prep for two meals, and go through the kitchen table piles and organize the mail, the children's art work, and the items bought that need to be return. Or could you imagine how good it would feel to have one day where someone else is responsible for taking the kids around to their friends, or take them to the park or the beach?
I bet that if you are like most women, you would without a doubt get so much done on one day per week. Now imagine a week, a month, or a summer without that ONE DAY? Does the overwhelming feeling just come right back? It would for me.
We live in a society that has not embraced accepting who we are, what we are good at, and asking for help from those who joyously do what we hate. It is time that we change that conversation. If your business is your passion, and you love it, and you are so good at what you do, but hate to cook or clean or fold laundry, then for goodness sakes, cut yourself some slack, and let go of the "Super Woman" syndrome.
You deserve that.
Recently I spoke with Alexis Neely (or Ali Shanti) for an interview for the series Women on Purpose, and she spoke of a wonderful woman she knows who also supports her in her business.
Alexis talked about how this woman felt a sense of inadequacy in what she has personally accomplished, and Alexis asked her to consider that perhaps her marker for success is based on what and where others think she should be.
The question of sufficiency (the topic of am I enough as I am?) is huge for us women. What struck me the most about my conversation with Alexis was that she herself acknowledged that she was not good at doing domestic chores and this woman and friend helped her with that area of her life. For me personally, it was a validation of something I had been feeling for years.
Most women in my life, whether they work from home, outside the home, or care full time for their children struggle with allowing support into their life (and business). This is a very American phenomenon, and although domestic and extra childcare can be cost prohibited in the U.S., there also seems to be a cultural resistance to communal support, or paying for the support needed. I grew up differently. I grew up in Latin America where having a live-in housekeeper is the norm, and where it is very financially accessible for most middle class families.
The U.S. is a little different, but I still stand by the notion that supporting our Inner Genius is our #1 Priority. Although we can all have cultural, familial, and financial barriers to receiving such support, nobody can argue that most women, especially those who work outside the home or own their own businesses, are desperate to have an extra helping hand at home to alleviate the stress of wearing multiple life & business hats.
I encourage every woman who is managing more than one thing (which is all of us) to get that help we think of as guilty pleasure, and embrace it as a necessity to live and thrive in the complexity of modernity.
May you embrace who you are, your Inner Genius, and also accept that perhaps others can support you where your genius does not reside.
Love,
ASHA
Learn how to access support: http://ashaisnow.com/start-here