I've had my last day of high school, my prom, my graduation and my 18th birthday all in the span of two weeks. I barely had any time to soak it all in -- it all happened so fast. It was like life told me, all at once, "You're an adult and you're done with high school, so now go figure it out."
I thought I was excited to leave but as the time got closer, I wasn't even sure what that meant anymore. All the milestones I've so anxiously waited for are now coming so quickly that I'm not able to completely grasp what it all means. On the last day of school, as I said goodbye to everyone, I didn't fully understand that it was the last time I'd be seeing the same people every day, or following a bell schedule and even having a gym class.
On my 18th birthday, I didn't totally realize that it was one of my last years as a teenager, and probably the last birthday party thrown by my parents, with teenagers fist-pumping and gifts with girly polka-dot wrapping paper. It's finally starting to hit me that all the changes are coming all at once. Don't get me wrong, I'm very excited to experience them all, but it's weird to think how all of my responsibilities and even simple daily routine are going to change. Instead of worrying about color-coordinated school supplies and locker decorations, I'm now signing up for a dorm and choosing a meal plan.
Also, my mentality and priorities are all different now. Instead of simply thinking of the present and my grades to move on to the next year, I'm faced with much tougher questions: What am I passionate about? What should I major in? What do I want to do after college? I'm going to business school so I thought that meant I knew what I wanted to do. But business is a large field and I still don't know what really interests me. I don't know if I want to work on a trading floor on Wall Street, become an investment banker or market products for a company -- and these are only a few of the many options. I'm bogged down with these tough questions and decisions about my future and career.
And no matter how many times I deny it out loud, I will miss having my parents and siblings around. I'll miss having my mom around to tell me I can't go to the movies until I finish my homework and clean my room. I'll miss my parents telling me I have to be home by a certain time. These are now decisions that I'll have to make for myself.
Now that college is just around the corner I can't help but think about all of these changes and how different my life is going to be in the next few years. College is going to change the way I think and act. I'm scared and anxious for what's to come, but I'm also excited for what's to come. I look forward to experience all these changes, to having fun with new friends and to learn and to see what unfolds out of the next four years at college.
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