Common Ground on Abortion

When President Obama called for Americans to find "common ground" in the abortion debate, I thought of Exhale and our message of pro-voice. I know we can all stand on common ground, because I see it under our feet. On May 27, 2009, I and fellow Pro-Voice Ambassadors stood together on that common ground and advocated for research that supports the emotional well-being of each woman who has had an abortion. That day, I gave oral testimony before the National Institutes of Health at a regional meeting in San Francisco, which gave communities a voice in establishing research priorities for women's health over the next 10 years. I asked that the Office of Women's Health Research (NIH/OWHR) work to better understand what women, and their loved ones, need after an abortion in order to support their own emotional well-being.

The desire for the emotional well-being of women is common ground. It doesn't require compromise of human rights or moral values and it doesn't require the sacrifice of dearly held beliefs. The research agenda we proposed to the NIH/OWHR reveals this common ground by addressing three indisputable facts:

1. Millions of American women have already had abortions.
2. The personal experience of abortion can be emotional.
3. People want and deserve emotional well-being.

In my testimony, I spoke about my own experience searching for resources after my abortion, a journey that led me to found Exhale, the nation's first organization dedicated to promoting emotional well-being after an abortion.

Danielle Thomas, a fellow Pro-Voice Ambassador and an Exhale counselor, spoke about her experiences on Exhale's national, multilingual post-abortion talkline. We spoke about the important role of emotional health in overall health and well-being.

Finally, we provided recommendations for the research the NIH/OWHR should undertake to promote emotional well-being post-abortion, which includes the need to:

* Assess the psychological and emotional needs of women after an abortion.

* Evaluate the effects of different post-abortion emotional support models on a woman's well-being.

* Examine men's emotional experience with abortion.

* Understand the characteristics of healthy coping after an abortion in diverse communities.

* Explore the connection between the social experience and the emotional experience of abortion.

Common ground is not just a plan to be unveiled by the White House, known only to President Obama and his advisors. There is no such thing as a "common ground" political position. You cannot search for common ground or set it as a goal, like ending smoking or drunk driving. Common ground is what is real, truthful, and undisputed, and it is always beneath our feet. Our responsibility as pro-life, pro-choice, or pro-voice advocates is to notice it, acknowledge it, and seek to address it.

The need for this approach is clear when it comes to the emotional experience of abortion. For too long, the polarizing impulses of the abortion conflict have held this issue hostage. The facts -- abortions have already happened, they can be emotional, and people want emotional well-being -- have been turned into political fodder instead of being addressed seriously, comprehensively, and publicly as important information about a woman's well-being. Consider the "regret vs. relief" stand-off about what "most women" feel after an abortion. The dichotomy serves political ends and helps differentiate opponents. What it doesn't do is offer a way forward, or paint a picture of how the world would look and feel if these three indisputable facts were addressed.

Forcing the issue into either-or territory creates false choices, even in how to identify one's own position on abortion: "Do I side with those who understand that abortion can be emotional, but who want to limit its availability, or do I side with those who try to make it more available but refuse to acknowledge its emotional impact?"

This has been a choice forced upon many Americans. It is one choice none of us should have to make. As Jon Stewart said in his recent interview with Mike Huckabee on The Daily Show, choosing sides on abortion often feels like a choice between "frenzied and maniacal or callous and indifferent."

We deserve more, and better. There is common ground upon which to stand.

Instead of being forced into a false choice, Americans should feel confident that their legitimate concerns about indisputable facts are being taken seriously, and that the emotional well-being of women who have had abortions is being addressed, pro-actively.

This is what I want. This is why we started Exhale: to address the reality of abortion in women's lives and to take a stand next to each and every woman who has had one. We call our work pro-voice, because it is the voices and experiences of those who have lived this issue that should drive the discussion. On The Daily Show, when Mr. Huckabee posed a question about how pregnant women think through their rights and responsibilities, what I wanted most was for the women who have called Exhale to have the chance to answer. Their voices could directly counter the problem with the abortion debate, which Mr. Huckabee described as generating "more heat than light."

Of course, as Melissa Harris-Lacewell, Associate Professor of Politics and African American Studies at Princeton University, recently pointed out in a speech to Planned Parenthood, we should not push or prod people to speak out about a personal, stigmatized issue. This can in fact cause more pain and be detrimental to emotional well-being. Instead, respect and comfort are the best tools for helping people to build their confidence and resiliency. This is one more reason why it is important to directly address the facts through research, and create a deep and thorough understanding of women's emotional experiences with abortion.

Forward-thinking leaders have already embraced this challenge. Tracy Weitz is leading a research effort at the Advancing New Standards in Reproductive Health program at the University of California-San Francisco to better understand women's emotional experiences with abortion, a project that Exhale was proud to join as a partner. Ms. Weitz is pro-actively addressing the indisputable facts -- women have had abortions, abortion can be emotional, and people want emotional well-being -- and ANSIRH's investigation will help identify how best to respond to them. I hope more leaders will follow her example.

Research to promote emotional well-being after an abortion is common ground because there is nothing to compromise, no human right or moral value to sacrifice, no ground to give way. The only losers are those who fight to keep things the way they are.

But the winners! Let's consider them. Americans will win because their concerns will be taken seriously, and they will reward forward-thinking leaders with new credibility, another win. Most important, women who have had abortions will win because there will be research, information and services to support their emotional well-being.

Undoubtedly, there will be big debates over President Obama's common ground policy. I hope that leaders will remember that common ground -- the indisputable facts: women have had abortions, abortion can be emotional, and people want emotional well-being -- is always beneath our feet. All we have to do is look down, respond, and stand strong together.

This post was first published on RH Reality Check.

Follow Aspen Baker on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Aspenbaker

Comments

[prairiestorm]

I disagree with your basic premise, that "The desire for the emotional well-being of women is common ground." I fully believe that the underlying purpose of the anti-choice movement is to make the expression of women's sexuality as risky and onerous as possible, in order to limit our full participation in politics, the economy, and society in general. This is borne out by the labelling of birth control as "abortion" -- now some elements of the anti-choice movement want to prevent prevention! There is no way that this can be construed as "saving babies", since the babies haven't even been conceived yet; it's solely an attack on women. The emotional well-being of women is an acceptable casualty to these folks.

Or perhaps their definition of "emotional well-being" is so radically different from my own as to be unrecognizable. In any case, if there are anti-choice proponents involved in your organization, I would be very suspicious that they are only there to find women to publicly pillory -- "I support your emotional well-being, but you can only be healed by suffering a just punishment, so let me get my cudgel."

People want their own emotional well-being, but not necessarily the emotional well-being of others.

[Aspen Baker - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks for your comment prairiestorm. There are people from across the political spectrum who want their own wellbeing and who care for the wellbeing of others. This group of people - pro-life, pro-choice or otherwise - can be an important source of power and strength from which to show that people can come together for a common purpose around the issue of abortion.

[been2there]

The tragedy of abortions is that is one of the few "zero-sum" situations in real life. Whatever one side gains comes at the cost of loss to the other side. Pro-choice put a higher value on women than on unborn; anti-choice do not. It is not only the pair intimately connected to any given abortion that is affected. All women, everywhere are devalued by anti-choice.

[Aspen Baker - Huffpost Blogger]

I think the important thing to remember here, is that there is a great, big debate out in the world, and then there are actual people living this issue. Rather than point out the ways we disagree with the other side its critical that we demonstrate how we put our values into action. Supporting all women and promoting their wellbeing after an abortion is one way to do this.

[athenap]

It's a nice thought, but one that completely sidesteps the actual issues under attack. It's not the women who've already had abortions that are going to be most affected by the debate--for one thing, they've already run the gauntlet, and for another, abortion isn't one of those things you do every summer like going to Myrtle Beach. The women most under fire are the ones who are faced with that choice but haven't yet made it. Or cannot make it due to restrictions--or assaults--imposed on them by external sources that have no business in it.

[Aspen Baker - Huffpost Blogger]

Thanks so much for chiming in here, athenap. I founded Exhale after my own personal experience with abortion and since that time have had the opportunity to hear the stories, experiences and needs of hundreds and thousands of women and men who have personally experienced abortion and who have called our national, multilingual talkline for support afterward. The ability to provide each one of them with information and resources to support their own wellbeing is crucial. That is why I founded Exhale - to provide other women like me, women who have had abortions, with respectful and supportive care. Our job at Exhale is to hear what women who have had abortions want and need and be advocates so that they can get it. Our testimony before the NIH is in direct response to their voices.

[JulieDavidsonGomez]

The Pro-Voice frame is most crucial in moving beyond the polarized abortion debate in this country. Only when women, quoting Baker (emphasis mine): "the voices and experiences of those who have lived this issue . . . DRIVE the discussion" will we advance in ensuring the health and wellness of women, families, and communities around the nation. Thank you for this thought-provoking and inspiring piece, Aspen.

[clevelandchick]

The problem with women opening up publicly about their own abortion is they open themselves up to attack from the Anti-choice side which has gotten more bold in their attacks on women who choose abortion,health clinics and clinic personnel. Who wants to end up like Dr. Tiller? Who wants their home picketed like Jen Boulanger director of the women's clinic in Allentown?

We need law enforcement to protect women and doctors, enforce the FACE law and harassment laws before any women can open up about their experiences.

[Aspen Baker - Huffpost Blogger]

You bring up an excellent point clevelandchick. Women who have had abortions face all kinds of barriers, including threats and judgments, when they speak publicly about their experiences. This is why research to promote their wellbeing and support after an abortion are so important. Not every woman will ever want to be public, and in case she chooses to, I hope we can work together to get her the support she needs to weather such a storm.

[tbone99]

Common ground on abortion ? - thats easy

Since 75% of women report having abortions due to financial concerns- provide free health care , low cost and accessible child care , affordable /subsidized housing for families if needed and low cost /free !tuition for parents to improve their situations.

Don't make the choice to have a child a terrifying descent into poverty.

But somehow I don't think these religious types want to stop abortions bad enough to actually work for family friendly policies.They are much more interested in parading their self righteousness in the street.

[bobtr900]

tbone99,

You said it perfectly. Well done, well said.

The GOP and their Religious Right do not want to solve problems they just want ever more political power to put forth their economic policies of ever greater riches to the ideologues, the business ideologues and the religious ideologues.

The Religious Right is totally aligned with the GOP. They include the evangelical fundamentalists and the Catholic fundies(not all evangelicals and not all Catholics, not me). These people are really all about money and ever more political power, no matter who dies or starves to death.

For example, how can the Pope wever claim to be Pro-life and Family Values given the nearly 2000 year Catholic Church history of hate, torture, destruction, degradation and death directly caused by the Church. The Church has a long history of hate and attacks directed at Jews, women, Atheists, agnostics, Muslims, Protestants and even other Catholics(Eastern Rite).

There is nothing Pro-life and Family Values associated with the GOP or their RR's. Anyone who denies working parents/families a living wage is NOT about Pro-life or Family Values. Anyone who is killing/maiming Iraqis, Afghanis and our troops for corporate profits/oil company profits is NOT Pro-life/Family Values. Not in the least!!!

This entire mess is really all about what I can only think to call "Dominion and Domination" of everyone, the entire world, by a very few people. IOW, it is really all about money and power, nothing else.

[JosT]

Thank you Aspen for so powerfully advocating for a way of thinking about abortion that centers the experiences of those most impacted: women who have had abortions. Too often the lives of these individuals are lost in a debate that has become more about beliefs and ideology than actual human beings. Your call for research comes from a place of compassion, not politics, modeling an approach to the abortion debate that I hope we can continue moving forward.

[lml37]

HuffPost's Pick

For years abortion has been used for political ends, and people who have had abortions, been affected by abortions and provided abortions have been either silenced, marginalized or used as pawns in this debate. Aspen Baker brings to light through this piece and her work that through focusing on abortion as a health issue and not a political issue, it will change the social context and the political context through which we all see this issue. Thanks for your work.

[JenniferRudy]

Fantastic point, lml37. If it is a fact that women have had abortions, and we view abortion through a health lens, we should ask ourselves about the continuum of care that is currently in place for abortion. Exhale's work brings to the surface a new paradigm through which well-being of women following an abortion can be considered as part of that continuum of care. The beauty of the pro-voice message is that women who have had abortions and their own voices, can create, impact and unveil the common ground of which Aspen speaks and therefore, create a new standard of care. Thank you, Aspen, for this thoughtful piece!

[Aaror]

Fact: The laws regarding abortions (whether or not they are legal, restrictions, etc.) have little effect on the abortion rate of a nation.
Fact: Opportunities for women, support for mothers, etc. do.
If you want to reduce the abortion rate, stop trying to outlaw it, and start supporting mothers so they don't have to make the choice between stigma and a more difficult life, or an abortion.
Oh, and Fact: Making abortion illegal kills women.

[naschkatze]

Abortion continues to be a political football, and I'm beginning to think that both parties like it that way. Whatever happened to the FOCA which the Democrats were going to pass? That would put this whole issue to rest. Instead, they are yammering on about finding common ground. I am pro-choice but have never been in the position where I had to make the choice. I don't believe that I have any business seeking common ground with women who do face that problem. The decision is theirs, and get your noses out of their private lives.

[Aspen Baker - Huffpost Blogger]

Thank you for your comment naschkatze. I don't believe that it is possible legislate or policize-away the debate over abortion. Instead, we need to address the conflict proactively with an idea for transformation. This is important for the emotional wellbeing of women who have had abortions because the current scope and tone of the debate is anything but respectful or supportive of our unique experiences. Changing the debate is critical to promoting women's health.

[clevelandchick]

I disagree with your assertion that the Pro-Choice side ignores the emotional impact, before and after, on women making the difficult choice of whether to have an abortion or not has. Clinics these days do offer emotional counseling and support before and after. But, at some point it is the woman's choice whether to seek counseling or not; it's another personal choice.

What I've seen from the Anti-Choice side is: refusal to recognize the necessity of abortion in cases of the life/health of the mother, severe birth defects, rape, incest and for very young girls unable to physically handle pregnancy and birth. Bill O'Reilly, Randall Terry, et al promote the idea women have abortions for no reason up until hours before natural birth would occur. A heinous lie.

The Anti-Choice side refuses to promote family planning education, teen sex education and contraception. Their answer, even for married couples, is abstinence. Their cause is based on strict religious ideology instead of reality.

The blame for there not being common ground is not equal on both sides of the debate. I'm tired of the Anti-Choice accusation that Pro-Choicers only care about access and not prevention or the emotional impact. That's a lie that has only served to incite the violence we've seen against volunteers and medical personnel who work for women's health.

[Aspen Baker - Huffpost Blogger]

You are right, clevelandchick, many clinics and other health care providers do provide emotional counseling for women throughout pregnancy and abortion. Unfortunately, that is not true for all of them. It was not true when I had my abortion, nearly 10 years ago. The only emotional support I could find came from Christian-based services who offered a one-size-fits-all model of support based on the idea of seeking forgiveness. I started Exhale to provide other women what I could not find for myself - a respectful and supportive place to get emotional support after an abortion from someone who cares. Since our founding we have seen a tremendous change in the range and scope of services that are provided to women post-abortion and yet in the public dialogue, there remains a lack of consideration and attention paid to our unique personal experiences. We want all sides of debate and people from across the political spectrum to join us in promoting the wellbeing of women who have already had abortions

[clevelandchick]

Access to mental health services at women's clinics is not equal because of the stigma associated with providing abortion services. 10 years ago the idea of funding counseling women after (rather than before) would be a hard sell to get funding from the government.

Not to mention the fact that mental health services are severely lacking in this country regardless of your condition or experience. Look at the guys coming back from Iraq...huge suicide rate. As a nation, we are ridiculously unsympathetic and hard on each other.

[mergina]

My dear, the bottom line is NO ONE, especially a MAN, has the right to tell a woman what to do with her body.

[steveinohio]

This begs the central question of the abortion debate. The idea that it's about the woman's body is ridiculous: It's about the baby's body.

[TeeDub]

There is no baby until birth. Until then, it's a fetus that's literally a part of the woman's body.

[Aaror]

OK, so work to reduce abortions:
Provide child care assistance to single mothers!
Oh, you are not doing that? Then you are just spouting hot air.

[clevelandchick]

Can the fetus live without it's host?

[clevelandchick]

Oh...and ladies, be sure to avoid all the Steves in Ohio. Obviously your life matters little to this guy.

[been2there]

No, it is about the woman's body, Figure out how to make the woman's participation optional and then it will be about the baby's body..

[Simone]

I'm sure you're a thoughtful person but this article was a repetitive mess of emotional, emotional, emotional. Then I got to this: "Do I side with those who understand that abortion can be emotional, but who want to limit its availability, or do I side with those who try to make it more available but refuse to acknowledge its emotional impact?"

You've presented false choices because:
Anti-choice people don't want to limit abortion - they want to outlaw it.
Pro-choice people do acknowledge that abortion can be a difficult and emotional decision, as can childbirth, raising a child, and adoption. Pro-choice people believe that women are moral agents capable of making difficult decisions without interference by emotional people and politicians who would take that choice away from them.

[TuoulumneFlower]

HuffPost's Pick

Excellent point, which bears repeating - " Pro-choice people believe that women are moral agents capable of making difficult decisions without interference by emotional people and politicians who would take that choice away from them."

Partly womens' experience with abortion is kept quiet because of the shame factor, hard to avoid when so many are so vocal in calling women "murderers." But partly womens' experience is kept quiet because it's a private matter, and not anyone's business.

I do agree with Ms. Baker, if womens' experience with abortion was dealt with openly and with compassion, it would go a long way to shed light instead of heat on the topic.

[Aspen Baker - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi Simone, it sounds like you are one such pro-choice person, one that acknowledges the range of emotions that can accompany pregnancy, abortion and more. I am so glad to hear it! In my years of founding and growing Exhale - an organization which provides direct emotional support to women post-abortion - I have often been told the opposite from pro-choice people. I hope more pro-choice people will embrace the understanding you hold and begin to talk more publicly about the importance of not just acknowledging these feelings, but finding real tangible ways, like through research, to support women and their loved ones.