THE BLOG

You Should Have Your Heart Broken at Least Once

02/24/2015 04:15 pm ET | Updated Apr 26, 2015

During his last acceptance speech at the Grammys, Sam Smith said those last words that often go unsaid after people part ways. The words that you want to say to the person that walked out on your life when you finally find your feet again: "Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you got me four Grammys."

After someone leaves you, you are often filled with anger, regret, loss. But life keeps moving, and you have to force yourself to move with it. You may lay awake in bed for hours until sleep succumbs. The alarm finally goes off and you have to force yourself to find your feet. They feel numb and nonexistent, and so do you. This is called waking up.

When you wake up things become clearer. What you thought was your ideal relationship with your perfect match could have been more flawed then you chose to admit. The blinders have come off. And you were in a darker place than you thought. This is your break-through moment.

Once you have accepted that the past is in the past, you can finally do the hardest feat imaginable. Let go. The first time someone told me I needed to let go, it was like the wind was knocked out of me. I knew I needed to let got, but once someone tells you that, that is what you have to do it becomes real.

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When I go through something emotional, I tend to channel my energy into work that takes a significant amount of inspiration. Writing and dancing have been my greatest distractions. They force you to deal with the pain. I often put a Band-Aid over what I'm feeling, instead of coming to terms with my emotions. Most people mistake this for strength. If anything, you are avoiding what you should face head-on. It takes courage to deal with what you don't want to and I choose to be a fearless person. That means diving in, head first, and fighting until you come out on the other side.

Sam Smith's words should be an inspiration to those trying to come to terms with heartache. If you channel that pain, you can create something greater than you ever thought possible. Beyoncé once said: "Whenever I feel bad, I use that feeling to motivate me to work harder. I only allow myself one day to feel sorry for myself. I ask myself 'What are you gonna do about it?' I use that negativity to fuel the transformation into a better me."

What are you gonna do about it? I'm going to stay thankful for the heartache because it made me realize my strength. It opened my eyes. I wear the chip on my shoulder with pride and choose to channel my energy into what matters most to me. Thank you so much for breaking my heart because you made me a better writer, dancer, and human being.