Beth Broderick

When Tweets Attack! Justin Bieber Fans Wage an All Out Assault on an Innocent and Unsuspecting Charity

2012-11-04T14:23:43-05:00

Seth Maxwell, the charismatic 24 year old founder and director of the Thirst Project did not know what to make of it. The savage tweets were rolling in at a rate of 20 per minute occluding all other activity on their twitter feed. Charming sentiments like: "@ThirstProject LMFAO No one likes you!" and "@ThirstProject You are retarded f*** you Dreke" or the truly unthinkable "@DrakeBell @ThirstProject Who wants to help those jungle bunnies anyway?"

Who would launch a hate campaign against an organization that provides clean safe drinking water to impoverished people in places like Swaziland? What's to hate and who would hate it?

Founded by a group of college students, Thirst Project is led by and supported by young people and students. When he is not digging wells in far-away lands, Seth visits dozens of high-schools every year to educate students about the global water crisis and engage them in the solution. To date he has visited over 300 schools in the U.S. and thus inspired, the kids have raised 2.6 million dollars and provided water to over 100,000 people. The kids raise money by holding dances and ping pong tournaments and bake sales, they are loyal to the cause, inventive and determined. Many schools now put on an annual event and are donating truly impressive amounts of money while teaching the students that their efforts can make a difference in the world. Seth has recruited a separate board of directors who fund his administration costs so that he can assure his teen donors that 100 percent of their money will go directly to building wells.

Hmmmm. Not the sort of activity that normally fills one with hate. Mostly in fact folks think it is extraordinary work and a great program... so how to explain this twitter bombing?

It began with the launch of a Twitter raffle campaign to raise money to build more wells in Africa. Seth's goal is to provide every single person in Swaziland with access to water. The winner of the raffle will receive an all expense paid trip to Hollywood to attend the annual Thirst project fundraiser and meet their celebrity supporters. One of these is Drake Bell whom Seth recruited to be the 'face' of the campaign. Drake is the star of Nickelodeon's "Drake and Josh" which has a large following of young folks and he has over a million twitter followers. Drake loves the Thirst Project and was happy to pitch in , seemingly a perfect fit and yet here is where the worm turns. Apparently Drake horrified "Beliebers", (yes that is what these rabid Justin Bieber fans are called) last July by suggesting that perhaps the age of 18 was a tad young to be touting a bio-pic called " Never Say Never The Justin Bieber Story." At the risk of igniting their ire I am going to have to agree with Mr. Bell's take on this. If you cannot order a glass of wine or enter the armed services, I do not want to hear the story of your life. You have in fact not lived it yet. The "Beliebers" of course most emphatically did not agree. The young monster fans were outraged! They assaulted Bell for weeks, relentlessly tweeting nasty ugly sentiments. The so-called "feud" was covered here on The Huffington Post.

The ruckus eventually died down and the little girls became otherwise occupied, leading Drake to falsely assume that the storm had passed.

Enter the Thirst Project whom Drake was hoping to help, but in so doing has managed to re-awaken this sleeping giant of adolescent rage. These tween mean girls have been hurling ugly tweets at the Thirst Project at a relentless pace for over ten days As of this writing the pleas to Bieber's management to please explain to his fans that they are doing real harm to real do-gooders, have gone unanswered. The Beliebers rage on unchecked. Forgive my but I have to say this. It's downright unbielebable.

Here is what Seth has to say:

The thing that makes my heart sad about all of this, is that Justin can take care of himself, but these kids in Africa, South America, and Southeast Asia can't. If Justin Bieber's fans put as much energy into helping us end the water crisis or something positive, we could do something incredible. Instead, they looked at something good and beautiful and pure and tried to tear it down in the name of one boy who they have decided is worth more than the lives of the thousands of children in need.

I know Justin Bieber been supportive of numerous charities in the past (some of which even include clean water initiatives), so I cannot allow myself to believe that the actions of his fan base are representative of his character, but I do wish he would help stop this and make it right. It's been 10 days since the Campaign launched, and the tweets have finally almost stopped completely, but the damage was done. For days our charity's twitter was hijacked and anyone who searched for us was met with gross language that I can only imagine what impression it left them with.

Justin Bieber, I know you must be such a better person than this reflects. If you can hear me out there, then on behalf of the nearly 1 billion people without clean water, and on behalf of the thousands of students who have given of themselves so generously to build our organization so far, I'm asking for your help.

I think that says it all. Mr. Bieber are you listening?

Hell Just Froze Over!: Why Even Many Texas Conservatives Turned on Ted Cruz and Endorsed... the Democrat

2012-10-28T20:30:10-04:00

Some of the staffers expressed surprise when wave after wave of endorsements came into the Paul Sadler Senate campaign offices. Paul Sadler was not surprised and while he is far too polite to say "I told you so," he is also not amused. Texas Democrats have sent 20 million dollars out-of-state to elect House and Senate candidates and in support of President Barack Obama. Donations to his campaign have been dismal. Here he is favored by even the most conservative newspapers in the state and yet he has no war chest with which to vanquish his wounded opponent Ted Cruz. Paul Sadler could have told you this would happen.

Why was he certain all along that the Ted Cruz' five minutes of fame would be so fleeting? Two reasons. One: he knows Ted Cruz and believes that the things he says are either politically unpopular or just too extreme for Texas. Two: He knows the endorsement process involves in-depth interviews during which even the most right-leaning editors would conclude that indeed the things Ted Cruz says are if not nuts, then highly suspect.

The left-leaning Austin American Statesman which endorsed Ted Cruz in the primary is now disturbed by some of the more outrageous claims he has made. Here is what their editors had to say:

We appreciate that he will never apologize for wanting to protect U.S. sovereignty, freedom and property rights, but when he sides with those who fear the United Nations will take away golf courses and roads, he's exploiting territory best left on the political fringes.

Nuts.

Almost every newspaper has taken exception to Cruz' assertion that we should abolish the Departments of Commerce, Energy and Education. There are good Texas reasons for this. Each of these benefits our state in important ways. The Department of Commerce supports the National Weather Bureau. One has only to look at the headlines warning of the coming "Frankenstorm" to deduce that this is an essential service for our businesses, agricultural interests and our citizenry. The Department of Energy helped to develop the fracking technology for extracting natural gas that is making many Texans rich while providing others with the neat parlor trick of being able to set the running water from their faucets on fire. What's not to love? Then there's the 6 billion dollars that Texas would lose should we abolish the much maligned Dept. of Education. There goes early childhood development, college student loans and adult education and training services. Needless to say this gives one pause.

There are other, less obvious reasons why so many of Cruz' former supporters have jumped ship and they have to do with style.

The conservative-leaning Dallas Morning News put it this way:

Like many Texans, we have been concerned about the lack of civility in the public square. That's why we have advocated for greater respect in politics, as well as for leaders who can find solutions that amount to more than advancing their party's agenda.

Here, too, Sadler is more aligned with our priorities. His efforts are issues-based, solution-oriented and underpinned by coalition-building principles. Cruz, by contrast, campaigns by attack. As we wrote about the staunch conservative before the GOP primary:

He's more about fighting and defending and toppling than bringing people together, building coalitions or solving problems -- skills that lie at the heart of good governing." This newspaper is left with the feeling that he is pushing his personal star more than the star of Texas.

During the debates Paul Sadler pressed Mr. Cruz on some of his extreme positions prompting Mr Cruz to complain "You have called me crazy three times in the last few minutes." Mr. Sadler recalls this with a wistful smile saying, "There was a reason for that. Texans have a right to know what they are going to be embarrassed about if they send this guy to the Senate."

Indeed.

I think all of us can agree that it would be nice if in the spirit of Lloyd Bentsen and Kaye Bailey Hutchinson, we sent an experienced person who is moderate and reasoned to represent this state. This is what prompted many of the other endorsements.

The very conservative San Angelo Standard Times made their decision based on the good old common sense notion that having some legislative experience might come in handy in the U.S. Senate. Here is how they put it:

When lawmakers decided to tackle the complex issue of school funding, they tapped Sadler to lead the effort. He was so effective he was named to Texas Monthly magazine's 10 best legislators list four times. Cruz, by contrast, is former Texas solicitor general and by all accounts an accomplished litigator but has no legislative record.

So why have Texas Democrats passed up this opportunity to back a very qualified candidate in what could have, should have been a winnable race? When they faced a Republican candidate who is not qualified and clearly not engaged on the issues of importance to voters of every political persuasion? Because the common unwisdom is that no Democrat can win statewide office in Texas. We have to ask ourselves who is beating whom. Is it possible that we are defeating ourselves?

Paul Sadler is a smart guy and he did not enter this race as some sort of sacrifice to the greater good. He ran because he believed that he could win. I will leave you with his thoughts about the experience:

My opponent in this race was not Ted Cruz. I rightly determined that he was vulnerable on the issues and that Texas would come to see him as inexperienced and unreasonable. My opponent was our own party's disbelief that they could overcome the odds. Eight million people will vote in Texas this month. Three and a half million of them will vote for a democrat and they deserve the option of good leadership. If I had the backing and the financing to make my case we could have easily persuaded some of the others. I am a Texan through and through and I believe that there are plenty of good folks out there who are not so ideological that they cannot choose the best candidate no matter what party he represents. You just can't make me buy that.

In an ironic twist, Ted Cruz won the primary with funding from Jim DeMint and other Tea Party activists from out-of-state, while Paul Sadler's would-be donors sent their cash to candidates far and wide and gave little here. I am all for supporting our party on the national level. Texas Democrats need to know when to 'fold 'em' to be sure -- there are some battles that we cannot yet win -- but we also need to be able to recognize a good bet and Paul Sadler was and is a good bet. Sometimes common wisdom or not, we need to have the courage and the insight to go 'all in.'

Horse Race or Horse Puckey? The Facts Tell Us Where to Place Our Bets

2012-10-24T00:14:53-04:00

In spite of the media's desperate attempt to convince you otherwise and thereby maintain the breathless "horse race" that they hope will keep your eyeballs glued to the TV and your computer tuned to the latest polls... Obama is well ahead in many ways that no one is discussing and everyone should know.

There are some very fun facts that our hand-wringing overwrought punditry have barely touched upon. I know that many of you are busy trying to figure out how many times Mitt Romney blinked during the course of Monday night's debate and scratching your head over his sweaty incoherent performance as the newly devout prince of peace, but let's take a mental break from that maddening experience and take a look at some of those facts.

Let's begin with Ohio, since that is the state with which everyone who is anyone in opinions is exalting to the mythic "the key state in this election... everything hinges on it!!!" status. Wring hands! Worry! Ohio!!! Why oh why oh? Ohio!!! We must all be very very worried about our O in Ohio!!! Or may not.

Fact: Obama leads among those who have already voted according to the latest public polls from CBS/Quinnipiac (Obama 54, Romney 39), PPP (Obama 66, Romney 34), SurveyUSA (Obama 57, Romney 38) and Rasmussen (Obama 63, Romney 34). Those are some pretty jazzy numbers and they are not predictive, but rather after the fact! This is how folks who have voted are voting.

These numbers are buoyed by the fact that the number of ballots cast in the precincts that Obama won minus the number cast in precincts where John McCain won is up by a gain of 7,284 as of today.

See aren't facts fun? I am starting to love numbers and I have always been a words girl. Admittedly, words failed Monday night as I sat agape listening to the staggering amount of hot air coming out of Romney's mouth. Syria is Iran's path to the sea? Obama went on an apology tour? Ridiculous. I woud rather contemplate the value of "magic underwear" than try to sort out the magical 12 million jobs that a handful of billionaires are going to create if we promise not to tax them. Lord help us! This whole foreign policy thing is important. As in fate of the free world important, but Willard is not worried. He's got John Bolton to sort it all out for him.

Mitt is white. That is his story and he is sticking to it. No need for pesky facts or truth on the trail. Just have a good box of hair dye and be a white guy. That is the only plan that he has stuck with and God help us some folks are falling for it. But not as many as you are being led to think.

OK, let's move on to Iowa. A significant state which stunned the punditry in 2008 by voting overwhelmingly for the black guy with the funny name, giving him tremendous momentum in the primary.

Iowa: Obama leads among those who have already voted according to the latest public polls from NBC/WSJ (Obama 67, Romney 32) and PPP (obama 64, Romney 35). Our advantage in number of ballots cast is up 22 percent from this same point in 2008.

Sweet! Now to be clear these numbers are based on precinct turnout as voters in Iowa, Ohio and Wisconsin do not register with a party when they register to vote, but they are a very good barometer of what is happening on the ground.

In Nevada, where early voting started Tuesday, we have reversed the Republican advantage in absentee ballot requests. They led by 7,923 in 2008. We have a small lead now and as of today we are plus 307. In Virginia more ballots have been requested as well as cast in precincts where Obama won. In North Carolina? Same story... in votes cast we are up by 25 percent. Yowza!!! This holds true in Wisconsin as well. Obama leads 64-35 among those who have voted early or plan to vote early (NBC/WSJ).

Feeling better yet? Strong enough to handle a few more facts? Let's go to Florida where the facts are always a little shaky but the signs are very good indeed.

Florida: The Republicans have traditionally held a huge advantage in vote-by-mail requests. We have cut that by 85 percent. In early ballots cast they are down by 22 percent. Governor Rick Scott has managed to cut early voting down to one week from three, because that is where Democrats have the advantage. There will be less time, but there is no reason to believe there will be less enthusiasm from our base there.

Another important thing to think about is that Obama has a huge lead among hispanics and this could really turn the tide this election season. Many many Latinos are not thrilled with Mitt Romney's plan to make people's lives so miserable that they would happily "self-deport". These folks are rather fond of their families and a tactic like that would inevitably break many apart. They are in fact not having any of it and 70 percent are leaning toward Obama. Gosh Golly as the Mittster would say!

So buck up Democrats! I would like to remind you that in 2008 we worried, we wrung our hands, we secretly harbored fears about the "Bradley affect." We were running our first black candidate for the highest office in the land and we fretted about it for good honest reasons. We have seen some ugly things hurled at our guy in the last four years. Racism is alive and kicking in America and most certainly in the Republican campaign, but it is not winning. We have an amazing candidate and a good damned story to tell about how we are turning this country around. We can, should and will prevail in the home stretch.

So let's please ignore the "horse race" histrionics and get out there armed with some real facts, because we seem to be the only party that still cares about them. Let's put boots on the ground, make calls and give as much as we can spare to keep this race going our way.

It is for a host of reasons... ours to win.

Brave vs. Crazy -- Deep in the Heart of Texas, The Battle Continues

2012-08-14T17:29:54-04:00

The Texas Senate race is off to a bracing start. After Ted Cruz, backed by the party of tea, gave the Perry supported Dewhurst a drubbing at the polls... heads turned and eyes rolled. Pundits on the right began pontificating about the fading influence of the old guard Republicans and folks on the left started feasting on the delicious nuttiness of Ted (his given name is Rafael) Cruz' more outrageous statements.

Now to be sure Mr. Cruz has made some eye-popping assertions. He believes that U.N. Agenda 21, a treaty that explores sustainable development, is a threat to our very sovereignty. He believes that the folks at International Council for Local Environmental Initiatives( ICELI) with the backing of Jewish bogey man George Soros are secretly developing a plan to force people out of the suburbs into tiny "Hobbit sized" homes crammed into city centers. Yes! Be afraid! They are also plotting to do away with grazing pastures, golf courses and paved roads! So says the so-called "intellectual leader" of the Tea party. Startling to be sure and yet a peek at the ICLEI web-site does not reveal even a hint of these nefarious goals. There was a prototype for a bicycle library, where folks can try out different types of bikes to see which one they might want to invest in. Ah but that could be a slippery slope... bike pedaling could be the first step on the road to no roads!!!

The left began to wring its hands, the right began to rub them together with glee and Texans mostly shook their heads. Folks down here are getting used to being represented by some fairly odd folks. (Spend a minute on Louie Gohmert's website if you want to hear yourself repeat over and over again: "What in the World?") The news of this victory went far and wide and yet there was another victory in that primary. Indeed a decisive one... about which nary a word was spoken.

Paul Sadler easily won the nomination as the Democratic candidate for U.S. Senate. He is a credible seasoned politician. He served in the Texas House of Representatives from 1991 through 2003. He chaired quite a few committees, passed some important pieces of legislation, won a number of awards and honors and served his state with pride and devotion. An eloquent man, he has been quoted time and again by authors covering that remarkable period in Texas history. And yet we have heard almost nothing about him. The Young Turks had a field day savaging Cruz and casually referred to Paul as "Some guy running against him... I think his name is Schafer."

I have some news for those of you who do not live in Texas. There are Democrats here. You would not know it to look at the national news or even much of the local news, but the joint is crawling with 'em. There are the Castro brothers out of San Antonio, Anise Parker in Houston, Lloyd Doggett, who has had to move three times due to punitive redistricting and yet triumphs again and again and Sheila Jackson Lee who famously serves along side him in US Congress. In the major cities local politics is more often than not dominated by Democratic officials. Texas gave you LBJ, Anne Richards and Molly Ivins for Christ-sakes! Here is another important tidbit of information. A lot of the Republicans in this state are moderates and even, dare I say it "swing voters." I know, I know. Texas also gave you George W. Bush, Tom DeLay and the odious Karl Rove and for that most folks are deeply sorry, but trust me on this, Democrats and Moderates of both stripes exist and in spite of or maybe because of the aforementioned mistakes, our ranks are growing.

There are a lot of factors contributing to the quiet around Paul Sadler's candidacy. Folks are talking about it, but doing so behind closed doors. People keep pulling him aside and saying sotto voce " You've got my vote, but I cannot support you publicly" Now why you ask, is there a culture of fear around this race in the liberal bastion of Austin? I am told that the Perry/ Dewhurst stranglehold on this state is pretty fierce. They control a lot of of the political giving and can be downright brutal about enforcing who gives what to whom and when. Ironically, while they were busy twisting arms and raking in record amounts of cash here, the Cruz money flooded in from out of state. Jim De Mint and the Koch brothers sent in the big bucks and crowned one of their own right under Perry's nose. So that should be that right? Why are folks still afraid to support the opposition to the opposition? I do not know the answer, but it is about time someone asked the question.

This is the environment that Paul Sadler is running in and it is hard to decide whether that makes him brave or crazy. Cruz is easy... he's just plain crazy, but Sadler is a tougher call. Why is this very good man going up against what everyone is saying are very bad odds? When I put this question to him he answered " There are too many folks in politics just trying to get attention or trying to get rich or both. There are folks like Ted Cruz who just carry on and on about what they want you to be afraid of and who they want you to hate. We need leaders who are FOR something, people who will take the reins and guide us toward solutions. The Senate is a deliberative body, we need to elect responsible citizens. Ted Cruz has never run for office, he has never crafted legislation, he is running around the country with his fellow Tea Party leaders shouting about Muslims taking over the country and the U.N. coming to take your home. It's just silly really and insulting to our intelligence"

Everyone who knows him or knows of him speaks very highly of Sadler and it is easy to see why. He has the long striding gait of a confident man. His feet glide out in front, while his broad shouldered torso lags a beat behind, giving him time to view the lay of the land. He lives in Henderson among the piney woods of East Texas. He is as comfortable with a deer rifle as he is with a chairman's gavel. He is a good old boy who can make a simple clear case for marriage equality. He was raised by an oil man and understands fossil fuel production, but is excited by the prospects of alternative energy. He worked extensively with the Electric Reliability Council of Texas (ERCOT) and the Southwest Power Pool (SPP), seeking to gain a full understanding of electricity markets and grid systems, then brought this knowledge to bear during his tenure as executive director of the Wind Coalition where he oversaw the creation of one of the world's largest energy markets.

During Sadler's tenure in the House he fought for cuts in property taxes and increased funding for education. Working with moderate republican Bill Ratliff he created The "Ratliff-Sadler Act" which revolutionized education in Texas and led to dramatic improvements in our schools. He fought to give health insurance to public school employees, a cause that hit home when his youngest son Sam was critically injured in an auto accident. The boy suffered severe brain trauma and Paul left public office to be by his son's side during a long and arduous recovery. Sam had to re-learn how to walk and talk and is now a successful student and an avid golf enthusiast. Sadler knows first hand how important it is that every Texan have access to first rate health care.

There is an old southern phrase used to describe a valiant horse. A horse that will give you everything he's got in a race to the finish line is said to run " deep through the heart." Paul Sadler is starting to raise real money and put together a smart savvy campaign. It will be a tough fight to be sure, but I believe it is a fight worth having. Texas is a wealthy, influential state and it deserves to be represented by someone who cares about the real threats to our state and to the nation as a whole. We cannot just hand it over to Jim DeMint and Sarah Palin and their shrewd funders. We have the numbers, the resources and the time to put some muscle behind this man and get him elected. His campaign is not just a challenge to Ted Cruz, it is a challenge to every Texan who believes in reason and responsibility. I will end with a quote from Paul who once stood on the floor of the state house to call for the passage of the James Byrd Hate Crimes Bill:

"There are votes and bills that tell the world who we are, what we value, what we cherish, what we believe in... We can't end hatred and violence and bias and prejudice, but it is our duty to punish conduct that we find reprehensible, conduct that we believe is wrong. And who of you will stand and tell me that conduct based on hatred and bias and prejudice is anything but wrong."

We do not have to accept Ted Cruz and his paranoid vision of the world, we have an opportunity to elect Paul Sadler to the U.S. Senate. This is a vote that will tell the world who we are. We can win this if we believe in ourselves, if we are willing to do battle with the bullies on the far right. We have a choice between brave or crazy. I might be crazy, but I am going to stand beside Paul Sadler and his brave bid to be our Senator. We have a race to run and we can win it... if we are deep enough through the heart.

To Think or Not to Think -- A Tale of Two Platforms

2012-07-06T14:15:02-04:00

To think or not to think. This is quite literally the question in question, when comparing the 2012 Texas party platforms. One party in particular has stated in its guidelines that thinking is not to be encouraged, lest it interfere with the "fixed ideas" a child may have here in the Lone Star State. The other party makes a decent, if long-winded case for more of said dangerous 'thinking," but gets bogged down in the kind of specifics that require well, too much damned thought. It is a lot of work to sift through these sizable documents, more than most folks are willing to do. Let's face it, most folks are barely willing to vote, much less figure out what they are voting for and sadly both voting and figuring out why one is doing so are getting more complicated every day. I am going to attempt to simplify for the reader what the two parties have in mind for the future of this great state.

The two parties could not be more different in their approach. Both have a preamble which defines their core beliefs. The Republicans come out swinging against government interference and demanding strict adherence to the original intent of both the U.S. and Texas Constitutions. They then proceed immediately to the sanctity of a fertilized egg and the end of a woman's right to privacy regarding her reproductive health. They whip-saw between a fierce belief in the freedom of choice and demanding limits on that freedom. They have conveniently decided for you, exactly what constitutes a family. Families must consist of the marriage of a "natural" man and a "natural" woman. Period. (I guess Chaz Bono and the like have made this sort of distinction necessary, lest we think that the "un-naturals" have any legitimate rights or choices.) Number 11 on the preamble list is a bit odd. I have no idea what it means, so I will quote it verbatim on the off chance that the reader can decipher it.

11) "The laws of nature and nature's God" as our Founding Father's Believed.

That's it. A stand alone sentence that must be some kind of code, because the document offers no reason for stating it. It is number 11 and that appears to be that.

The Democrats being Democrats have crafted a document that is exactly 20 pages longer than their rivals'. They "believe" things for a full two pages at the top. They believe in a lot of things, a whole lot of things. The right to privacy, to vote, to civil and human rights, the freedom of religion and individual conscience. See that is catchy and they could have left it right there, but nooooo, they have to go on and believe in equal opportunity for all Texans. To be fair, this state has a history of some seriously unequal opportunity, but is this the stuff of preambles? They just cannot quit believing in things like your right to a quality education, a good job with dignity. Dignity! For christ sakes, who believes in that kind of thing anymore? It just goes on and on, they want clean drinking water and clean air to breathe, fair taxes, living wages and safe homes. They want retirement security and a compassionate safety net for the most vulnerable and, God bless them, they "believe" that Texas has the talent and resources to ensure these rights with or without federal action.

This is where the two sides meet. The both "believe", truly believe in Texas and want to believe that we can solve our own problems. Texas pride is neither left nor right and whether or not it is mis-placed, it is still awesome to behold.

At the risk of "thinking" it is time to move on to education. It is telling that the Democrats lead with this category. It appears on page 4, directly after their ambling rambling pre-amble. The Republicans mosey past a host of concerns before finally addressing education on page 11 which means it may take us a while to get there, but, it is worth taking a minute to examine what those priority topics were. In brief they are clamoring for border security and against Washington D.C. becoming a state. In no particular order they are against: Executive Orders, Affirmative Action, the Voter Rights Act, the Employment Non-Discrimination Act, Campaign Finance Reform and a host of other things including flag desecration. Yes, they weighed in on flag desecration four pages ahead of education. After a few more very random demands such as the return of plaques honoring the Confederate Widow's Pension Fund, they get down to the business of family.

The next four pages define in great detail just exactly what a family is and is not. According to the Republicans a family consists of those related by blood, heterosexual marriage or adoption. That's all folks. Domestic Partnerships do not count! Gay or straight, kids or no kids, you are not a family. Period. On the subject of gays they do not hold back. " Homosexuality tears at the fabric of society and contributes to the breakdown of the family." Not only can gays never be a family or have a family other than the one they were born into, they are said to be directly responsible for tearing families apart. From here they go to crazy town around all things "life" related for three pages and it is a tough read to be sure. They want to repeal Roe v. Wade, ban stem cell research and go on a tear against Title X, Public Health Services and Medicaid. I was giving up hope of ever seeing eye-to-eye with them on the whole "family" section, but then blessedly there it was... a statement repudiating "Human Trafficking." OK, who doesn't hate "human trafficking"? The practice of selling young people into prostitution must absolutely be abolished. Consensus. Amen.

We are going to get to the topic of education, I promise, but first we need to have a moment of silence for health care in Texas. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, Texas ranks dead last in the nation for positive health outcomes.

The Democrats devote four pages of their platform to health care reform and if they could just manage to be a bit more succinct about it, they might get some traction. The Republican obsession with de-funding women's health clinics is further demonstrated by this study to be unwise. We are dead and I do mean dead last in treating breast cancer in women under 70. The Republicans address the matter by promoting self-sufficiency in all things including health care. This sounds good on paper and would be kind of noble if it was possible. Alas,taking this route resulted in us coming in first in uninsured children and adults and last in everything else. We are behind Arkansas people!

Arkansas.

OK, we have finally waded down to education. I know, I know. The Democrats have been there for pages, but we got a little side-tracked. It goes without saying that on every above mentioned issue the Democrats are on record with an opposing view. There are stark differences between the parties in almost every category and in a way that is refreshing... if their elected officials actually adhered to these beliefs, the debate would be spark filled and therefore illuminating. Alas it is mostly hot air on both sides, which is why we so rarely have real conversations about who we are and where we want to go and why so much remains unchanged. When it comes to education however, this is a debate that must be held. It is about establishing the standards by which our children and our state will be judged. It is about the future we all... right, left and center "believe" in.

Once again the priorities of order are telling. The Democrats lead with a demand for more funding. They want more access to kindergarten and early education. They want more and better community colleges, improvements to the DREAM Act and more scholarships for higher education. They seek to remedy the reduction by 13 percent of state revenue per student that has been in place since 2009. The Republicans lead by demanding that students should pledge allegiance to the American and Texas flags. They want career and technology programs, corporal punishment and equal treatment of all sides of "scientific" theories around things like life origins and environmental change. OK, so far a predictable spilt on priorities. Democrats calling for more funding and better teacher student ratios and higher educational values and Republicans calling for measures that will instill religious and social values. No surprise there, but the next two points of the Republican agenda are startling... truly startling. As in put down your beverage lest you perform an involuntary "spit-take", startling. I will quote them directly, because you have to read it to believe it.

"We believe that parents are best suited to train their children in their early development and oppose mandatory pre-school and kindergarten. We urge Congress to repeal government sponsored programs that deal with early childhood development. "

Now that is a real heart stopper. It is one thing to love a prayer and hate a gay. It is another thing entirely to demand that Texas stop educating small children. Every possible shred of evidence points to the benefits of pre-school for all children. Many states are well on their way to enrolling every kid by the age of three. If we want to compete we cannot, must not, give in to this dunderheaded theory. This is why moderates of both parties need to pay attention. The lunatics are running away with the asylum on this and we had best run after them.

Last, but alas not least is a statement regarding "thinking" that should make any thinking person's head explode and I quote:

"We oppose the teaching of Higher Order Thinking Skills (HOTS) (values clarification), critical thinking skills and similar programs that are simply a relabeling of Outcome-Based Education (OBE) (mastery learning) which focus on behavior modification and have the purpose of challenging the student's fixed beliefs and undermining parental authority."

Maybe this statement is just hot air, but if implemented this would be a scorched earth policy for our kids. No critical thinking? No encouraging thought that challenges the "fixed beliefs" of a child? We are living in an age which challenges our beliefs about the way the world works every single day. Flexibility, imagination and the willingness to entertain new ideas are going to be crucial factors in determining who wins and who loses in the economy of the future. There are lots of things to fight about. The Democrats want students to learn more than one language, the Republicans want English only. The D's think the arts help children achieve more academically, the R's think we should stick to the basics. There are arguments to be made on both sides of most things, but we must all stand on the side of encouraging "thinking" critical and otherwise. "Fixed beliefs" are fine in a church or around the family dinner table, but our students deserve to be challenged. "Critical" or "mastery" thinking leads us on the path toward creative problem solving and objectivity. It gives us a context for our beliefs and teaches how they relate to and sometimes conflict with the beliefs of others. This kind of thinking leads one to crave independence from tyranny, to seek self-determination and to dream of and work toward a better future. These are the values upon which this country was founded and of which this state is justly proud.

Think about it Texas. Please think about it.

And vote.

With a Paint Brush and a Prayer

2012-06-13T12:14:44-04:00

The call came out on a Thursday afternoon: A young woman's voice informing me that they need volunteers over the weekend to clean the new Obama campaign headquarters. Not much notice, but we are Democrats in Texas after all, so forty eight hours is not bad. It is technically in advance of the event and that counts for something in these parts. The campaign has taken over an abandoned building on the east side of town. It will be torn down within the year, but for now offers ample if unattractive space from which we can man the battle stations in preparation for the coming electoral storm.

600 million Republican dollars is a whole lotta 'change.' Not the kind that you can 'believe in' of course, unless you are a ruthless billionaire hell-bent on buying control of all branches of government. The Roves and Kochs and Adelmans and their ilk are so brazen with their schemes that they would not be out of place in a James Bond movie. Large headed porcine old men rubbing their hands with glee, you can almost hear them squealing with delight every time an attack ad is played. If one of them has a cat, I say we cast him in the next 007 saga, here and now. Everywhere I go folks are asking me if there is any 'hope' for our side. Sure, we have a billionaire or two, but we cannot match this largess. Recent activities in Wisconsin seem to suggest that if they can spend 47,000 to our 12 we are doomed. If intimidation is part of the plan, then our wealthy would-be overlords can rest assured that this spending spree is taking a toll on our morale.

So what to do? Well, frankly, I have no idea, but they needed help down at the local headquarters and so I rolled out of bed determined to get my democracy on. I arrived to find a diverse group of folks milling about, some with purpose and others hoping to find some. A few clever folks had thought to bring their own cleaning supplies, which gave them an aura of superiority. There was a rather daunting shortage of materials to do the job. Several large tubs of white paint looked promising, but the equipment on hand consisted of three four-inch rollers with small trays and a dozen paint brushes, all one inch wide. Now mind you we are meant to paint a 3,500 square foot building with these implements. The older folks in the group, myself included, sighed a deep sigh and went to work. The young were milling about, attempting to fashion teams out of this motley crew. There was no evidence that they ever succeeded in this, but you gotta love them for trying.

The walls were covered with markings in pen and Crayola and watercolor and marred by all manner of thumbtacks and staples, the remnants of a pre-school with a free-wheeling attitude. One fellow, a tall white haired man set about finding pliers to remove the most obtrusive adhesives while the rest of us seized upon our meager tools and set to work painting any smooth surfaces we could find. Another man, tall and black with a whiff of gray about the temples and a warm smile fashioned a paint container out of a paper cup and got busy with his one inch brush tackling a sizable wall. I laid claim to one of the miniature rollers and joined him at the opposite side. We worked for several hours stopping only for a drink of water or occasional trip to the now not-disgusting john thanks to those well prepared clean-teamers.
A few hours in, one of the young women gave up on the organizing detail and decided to join in the painting. She made off with my fellow painter's cup, as there were no other vessels which could hold the white goo. He returned from the restroom to find his supplies missing and was visibly disappointed. "That's cold," he said and fumbled about looking for a suitable alternative. A few minutes later I looked over to see him desperately trying to saw a plastic water bottle in half. I took pity and went in search of his cup or any kind of damned cup. He was delighted when i returned with a 16 oz. Styrofoam number. Sometimes it's the little things...

Finally, the white haired man returned from his thumbtack removal mission -- a not inconsiderable task in over 35,000 square feet. His name was Darwin, a retired U.S. Army Colonel who cut his teeth with this politics business canvassing for Obama in Colorado. He loved it for the most part, met a lot of nice folks, but there had been a few run-ins with guard dogs that still made him shake his head. Democracy, after all, is not without its perils. Someone had blessedly sent out for large rollers and a few four-inch paint brushes. The big room we had been working on was more or less complete, so a few of us headed out to work on the offices. Darwin, it turns out, was a damned good painter and it lifted my spirits to think that now armed with proper tools we might actually whip a few of the offices into shape. I, on the other hand, am not a good painter, but being a volunteer is kind of like being a porn star in that one need only be willing to qualify for the job. My Styrofoam cup pal took a break to go home for some food as he was diabetic and had to be careful. A large number of the young people got down to business and we all worked for another few hours knocking out office after office. It felt good. It felt hopeful.

I arrived home tired and covered with cheap white paint. I deposited my clothes in the trashcan as they could not be salvaged and threw myself in the shower trying in vain to get the stuff out of my hair. I thought about Darwin and the two ladies with their cleaning buckets and my new friend trying to fashion a tool out of an old plastic bottle. I thought about the young people who showed up on a Saturday trying to make a plan for the day as well as their futures. I thought about Barack Obama, the Right's whipping boy, staying cool, staying focused, trying to help folks get health care, find work, keep their families fed, while simultaneously eliminating a number of very bad bad-guys. I thought about the candidates all across the country who know they are facing the most vicious fight of their careers and are fighting anyway. Folks like Sherrod Brown who have been relentlessly targeted by the fat cats but who remain unbowed and determined.

I thought, go ahead and bring it on bullies! We do not have billionaires, but we have a community of folks from every walk of life who still care enough about this country to wield a one-inch paintbrush without complaint. We are not armed with unlimited cash, but we are loaded with spirit. If you are a Democrat, reading this and thinking that all is lost... do yourself a favor. Pick up a paintbrush or a broom, pick up a phone and place a call. Pick up a clipboard and walk among your neighbors. None of us can predict how this avalanche of money will affect the outcome in the fall, but there is still work to do and the value of it cannot be measured in dollars.

Onward.

Welcome to the Future: The "People's" Super PAC+ Looks Ahead

2012-04-03T16:12:13-04:00

This is the time of year when the sound of a phone ringing can fill me with dread. This points to cowardice on my part to be sure. Would that I could summon the courage to navigate the 5 to 10 calls a day from candidates and organizations seeking my money and support, but there are days when I cannot face the demand... when I frantically push at the decline button and then put my head between my knees. I truly wish that I had the money to give each and every caller a large donation, but alas there is dog food to buy and rent to pay. I am sure that many of you share this sentiment. We want to give, but how can we compete with the arrival of Super PACs? The political landscape is disheartening. Billionaires are hijacking the airwaves and it feels like the entire political process. With Citizens United, the Supreme Court has unleashed financial foes with resources that are beyond our imaginings and for most of us it is unsettling, even scary to contemplate.

Firstly we need to take a deep breath. It is important to remember that big money has been playing a role in out political outcomes for a long long time. It has taken different forms and played by any number of rulebooks, but it has always been there. In political parlance this spending is known as "The Other Campaign." In 2000, the "Other" spent 16 million in Ohio alone and is widely believed to have played a significant role in the outcome. So yes an avalanche of money is heading into the system. it is predicted that the Republican side will pour 600 million "Other" dollars into the 2012 election cycle. It is also important to remember that candidates from both parties have been outspent by great margins and still managed to win on the merits.

So as we contemplate this new political landscape, we must look at new ways to build coalitions that can withstand the onslaught and promote big D democratic values. We need to learn how to operate within this new system and develop long term strategies to cope. It is not enough to hope that Citizens United will be soon overturned. Are we mad about this new development? Sure we are, but as the old saying goes "Don't get mad... get organized." This is how I found myself agreeing to become part of a Super PAC. Yes that's right .... me ... a Super PACKER. Look out Sheldon Adelson. I'm coming for ya!

Ironically, this began with a phone call. Steve Phillips and his wife Susan Sandler have been a force in progressive politics for decades and have founded a new organization called PAC+. The resources they are marshaling will come from many donors, not mega donors It will cost Foster Friess (of "hold and aspirin between your knees" fame) millions to stoke his pipe dream of a Santorum presidency. Membership in PAC+ requires a $20.00 per month commitment. I feel rich enough to swing that and if we are able to achieve the goals set out by this organization, we will get a whole lotta bang for our bucks. Yes Virginia there is a Santa Claus um... er... plan.

PAC+ is organized around the principle that Democrats are spending millions and millions every cycle to pursue strategies that are based on an outdated and inaccurate picture of the American electorate. Loosely translated this means that we are continuing to pour our resources into the traditional battleground states and ignoring the profound demographic shifts that will shape the future of progressive politics.

The numbers are provocative. People of color will make up 36 percent of the voting population in the coming decade. Reliably progressive whites make up 28%. Added together these groups constitute a 64% majority that could sustain progressive policies at the state and national level for decades to come. So how do we motivate these groups to come together and head to the polls? We need to get past our myopic obsession with "likely voters" and start reaching out to the constituencies that vote occasionally or are registered, but do not participate.

The goal is to aggregate these groups into a voting block that can be persuaded to work together to achieve significant power at the polls. Consider Texas. Currently the percentage of people of color in Texas is 54% and growth charts reveal that it could easily reach 58% by 2020. So why such an entrenched right wing dominance in this state? Simple math. 65% of whites regularly turn out to vote in Texas, but only 38% of Latino voters, whereas in California 68% of eligible latino voters turn up. This is not rocket science. The larger the turnout of people of color, the more progressive a state is likely to be. Where is the Democratic party in all of this? Putting out fires in the purple states and trying to compete with Koch brother funded opposition to EVERYTHING the president says, does or contemplates saying or doing.

Enter PAC+. The plan is to focus on six states where there is or will be a sea change in demographic composition and spend millions of dollars cultivating voters. The states are Arizona, California, Georgia, New Mexico, Ohio and Texas, all of which are experiencing a revolutionary population shift and all of which have tremendous potential. Let me give you an example of what can be accomplished:

In 2008 the vote in Georgia was 52% McCain 48% Obama. The margin of loss was 204,636 votes. 98% of people of color voted for Obama while 77% of white voters favored McCain. The additional potential turnout among POC was 810,460. If we had motivated one quarter of those folks Obama would have won the state. Simple statistics such as these are remarkable enough, but it is the passion of Steve Phillips and the other tremendous minds behind PAC+ that made it impossible for me to say no.

People of color and progressive whites are natural allies and it is time for us to move beyond identity politics and work side by side to secure the future. Together we have over 12 million households with an annual income of over $100,00. If only 1% of us commit to this work at $20 dollars per month we can bring as much as $29.7 million a year into the mix in the battleground states of the future. We can be our own billionaire. It is time to stop talking about demographic shifts in this country as if they were a distant opportunity. The future has arrived. We are "the other" campaign that can have the biggest impact of them all.

There are a lot of rotten things going on right now and most of us are just trying to keep up. Those right wing dollars are on the march attacking programs and laws that we cherish. Things like health care for women and incredibly... contraception. Things like union rights and voting rights, clean air and water and not demanding people's citizenship papers because they crossed the damned street. Yes, there is a lot going on and this will be a busy election year, but we owe it to ourselves and to the next generation to build a lasting coalition and use this super pac to create a super majority of folks who believe in the very things we are fighting for. They might be able to outspend us, but they cannot out-vote us if we unite. The numbers are indeed provocative and they are on our side. We have set a goal of 100,000 members and I hope that you will consider becoming one of them. It won't take much of your time, it will cost you the equivalent of three visits to Starbucks and we'll all sleep a little better. This is a call whose time has come. This is a call to action that blacks, whites, Latinos, Asians, American Indians should all take.

Together.

For more information, go to the PAC Plus website.

Seeing Red in Texas

2012-03-19T17:43:55-04:00

"There is a tumor. It's about the size of a small grapefruit" The doctor explained. "I think we need to take this very seriously. Your health has been compromised for a long time."

Thus began the conversation that lead to a full hysterectomy at the age of 42. It was a difficult decision to make, because it meant that I would have to give up my dream of bearing a child, but the pain was relentless and the consequences were dire. Photographs of me in public at that time are often labeled "Alarmingly thin!!" because anemia and exhaustion made it impossible for me to maintain a healthy weight. It would be a grueling recovery, but I felt grateful that I had good doctors and the love and support of family and friends. After surgery, tests revealed that my uterine lining had cancerous cells. For women, reproductive health care is total health care. Without it I might not be alive to write this article and that is why I am seeing red in Texas.

It has been a long time since I stood on a sidewalk waving a protest sign. To be sure, I did more than my share of this in my twenties, even going so far as to take a seminar on how to get arrested (note: wear boots in case the cops drag you and keep a toothbrush in your pocket), but the stakes are high. Reproductive health care for well over a hundred thousand women in Texas has just been revoked by the state legislature. They were egged on by the hapless Rick Perry in a move so dunderheaded and thick with ignorance that his performance in the presidential primaries looks studious and reasoned by comparison. Sentient beings in Texas have simply had to stop asking "How stupid can Rick Perry be?" because there is clearly no end to how stupid.

Well known singer and Austin legend Marcia Ball was the first to reach out .This was in her email:

What the heck's happening with our poor country?! Who knew that in 2012 in the USA we would be fighting about contraception and basic women's health?

Next Tuesday, March 6, and the following two Tuesdays, between noon and 2:00 PM, I am going to put on a red shirt and stand in front of the Texas State Capitol at the corner of Congress Avenue and 11th Street holding a sign decrying the defunding of women's health services. I am calling my effort SEEING RED and it may be just me and a few friends or a few hundred. My vigil is in honor of Molly Ivins who said nothing will change until we get out in the streets and bang on pots and pans. I'm just going to stand there and hold a sign

By the way, this is not a "women's movement". Come one, come all. No keynote speakers. No podium. No PA. Just red shirts and signs. Spread the word.

Oh, and hey...peace. .... Marcia

This is how most movements are begun. Someone just gets fed the hell up and decides to fight back. Like most this is a humble beginning, but it is a start and that is something. I knew upon reading her message that I would be there, that I had to stand beside Marcia on behalf of Texas women. So at the appointed hour I made my way through the snarl of traffic that engulfs Austin during the South by Southwest Festival and took up my place in front of the state capitol. Turns out there were between two and three hundred women, men and children on the scene, all sporting red t-shirts and waving home-made signs. A few even brought pots and pans. Most of us didn't visit much, just waved at passing cars and cheered when they acknowledged us. The response was mostly positive. Bus drivers waved, old men in Dodges honked their horns, even a couple of patrol cars gave us the high sign. There was one SUV that drove by and gave us thumbs down with arms thrust defiantly through open windows.

What were they trying to say? " Down with pap smears?" " To hell with mammograms?"

I found myself seeing redder and redder trying to ascertain their point of view and that of the mostly all white male Texas legislature that has decided my body is their business. This decision will mean a loss of 40 million federal dollars to the state. The good ole' boys promise that they are gonna think on a way to fund some of this work... really they are gonna, but in the meantime clinics across Texas have been ordered to begin escorting their clients out the door.

Rick Perry says it is Obama's fault, even though the law that requires states to non-discriminate in their funding was on the books under George W. He considered making a run at this in 2006, but common wisdom held that George W would uphold the law, because it is after all a LAW and cut 'em off, so they waited until now. What better time to defund women's health than while a black man with a funny name is in office? Yes, they were still etching over the "Nigger Head" sign on the family ranch when it somehow occurred to Rick that he could attack every poor woman in the state and blame it on the black guy. Fantastic really. If there were not lives at stake, I would have to concede that this is clever politics.

Alas those pesky lives. Help is on the way for a lot of Americans who are uninsured or under-insured through the Affordable Care Act, but we have a long way to go before not only poor, but middle class women will have the wherewithal for regular screenings and access to birth control. I have two health insurance policies which cost upwards of 600.00 per quarter and this is what they covered last year... nothing. Annual check up? $500.00... covered by insurance? Nope. Eye exam and glasses $650.00... amount covered? Zip. Foot ex-rays 300.00... come on foot ex-rays?... any part of it covered? Zero. Dental checkup? 200.00 plus 300 for more pesky ex-rays... covered? Nada, not a penny. Apparently healthy teeth, eyes, feet and preventative care are not meant for the likes of me. So it is not just the poor that often need to avail themselves of the services of Planned Parenthood and other health clinics. Plenty of women are going to have to debate whether or not they can afford a visit to the gynecologist. Reproductive health care is not cheap and many will put it on the back burner out of necessity.

Now most of you know the facts, that abortion makes up roughly 3 percent of services provided and that federal and state funds can NOT be used to cover the cost of it. So what gives? Why this stupid stupid obsession on the right to shut down women's health care? The "aspirin between the knees" crowd is out to punish those uppity gals over at Planned Parenthood. Snotty educated types like me who think that women have a right to determine when and why and how to create families. Of course it is just regular old Texas women who will bear the brunt of this wild eyed condemnation. Tumors will go un-measured, cancer will go undetected and women will die because these men are obsessed with abortion and any kind of sex related care.

This cannot stand. So I will be out in front of the capitol this Tuesday March 20 at noon with my boots on and a toothbrush in my pocket. If you are in the Austin area come join us. We will be easy to spot. We will be wearing red and by God we will be seeing it too.

It Happened One Christmas

2011-12-13T17:11:15-05:00

It was five days before Christmas. I had recently relocated to Los Angeles from New York and was having trouble engaging the Holiday spirit. There was no Rockefeller Center with it's giant tree to marvel at. No fifth avenue crush of shoppers and revelers to knock up against. No bourbon on the rocks at the Oak Room watching the horse drawn carriages glide into Central Park. LA was trying. There were some lights on Wilshire Boulevard and Santa Claus had been dutifully installed in all of the shopping malls. There were Salvation Army elves ringing bells outside of Kmart and most folks had dutifully strung lights on their houses and inflated rubber reindeer for their lawns, but it just did not feel like Christmas. I had set about grumbling in the tradition of so many who had made the trek across the country before me armed with Woody Allen quotes and Big Apple big headedness.

In spite of this and in spite of temperatures that threatened to give old Saint Nick a heatstroke, I agreed to venture forth into the the shopping fray with my friend Lorraine and we headed to a nearby Music Plus store to pick up some Holiday tunes for her family. The store was located on a fairly crowded and decidedly unglamorous stretch of Fairfax Avenue. This was over 20 years ago, long before the glittering Grove with it's valet parking and concierge service, when there was still such a thing as a Music Plus store. We were out of the car and headed in to the store when something caught our eye. There was a van parked in the farthest space of the lot and something seemed off about it. It had an aura of abandonment and yet there was clearly movement inside. We watched for several minutes to see if the occupants would emerge.

It was one of those moments -- of which I have had far too many -- when instinct overcomes caution. Something was just not right in that van. We approached the old VW and tapped on the window. The woman in the driver's seat hesitated before slowly cranking the handle, her eyes haunted and wide with fear. There were three young children in the van as well, all bunched up together in the back seat. The woman had a large bruise on the left side of her face. She did not have to explain... it was clear that she had been abused and was on the run. This parking lot her only refuge. We asked if she had enough fuel to drive a few blocks to Lorraine's home and she nodded yes. We pulled out of the lot slowly hoping that she would have the courage to follow and breathed a sigh of relief when she pulled up behind us.

Once home Lorraine set about feeding the kids and I gathered laundry so that we could give them clean clothes to wear. The woman had a severe limp, but said it was nothing and set about bathing them. Lorraine and I pondered our next move. I began to make calls to City services and shelters. The news was not good. To this day there are almost no facilities in Los Angeles that can house a woman with her children. Many families in this situation are split up with the mother housed in one place and the children in another. This mother was willing to reside in a Music Plus parking lot in order to be with her kids. She would never agree to that.

After placing at least a dozen calls I was beginning to worry that the family would be consigned to the the van for the foreseeable future. I was running out of options when I placed a call to the Good Shepherd Center and Sister Joan Mary answered, her warm voice accented with an irish lilt. "Oh no," she said "we are over capacity and so is everyone else. There is just no place to put them... a terrible shame so many with no where to go." I begged, I cajoled, I pleaded with Sister Joan to help me place them. "I'm yours for life," I said. "I will volunteer raise money anything you need... just please do what you can!" "All right," she said with a heavy sigh. "I'll see what I can do."

The woman refused the medical attention she clearly needed, but accepted our offering of blankets and flashlights and the use of Lorraine's driveway. The family was invited to eat and bathe in the house, but there was just no place to bed them all. Two days passed. I was still making calls and working every angle to no avail. Tomorrow would be Christmas eve and I had to abandon the effort while my friends and I scrambled to find gifts for the kids. Around nine PM we settled the family in their van and poured a big glass of wine preparing to wrap gifts into the night, when the phone rang and Sister Joan's unmistakable Irish accent came over the line. "I've got them a place," she said. "They can come tomorrow to this address. We will give them a good Christmas." "God bless you, Sister," I said through tears, "I will not forget my promise." "Oh, I'll count on that," she said and that was good night.

The nuns at the Good Shepherd homes have rescued countless women and their children over the years. I kept my word and my friends and family provide Christmas gifts for their families every year. I used to give Sister Joan candy but she begged me to stop. "I 'll be fat as a house if you keep this up," she'd say with a ready smile. She retired a few years back, but the work goes on.

These have been tough times for the shelter and the nuns had to close one of their facilities due to lack of funds. Ever resourceful they doubled up their living quarters and turned their office space into housing, so that they would not have to turn desperate families away. These women have experienced abuses that most of us cannot contemplate. I am so grateful to Good Shepherd for answering their need and for taking my call on that dark night so long ago. Amidst the palm trees and under the blazing California sun, the spirit of Christmas shines brightly in their hearts all year round and has opened mine forever.

Fly Away: A Movie and the Story of a Sisterhood Behind the Scenes

2011-07-09T14:51:04-04:00

Janet Grillo and I are both believers in the sisterhood. There are actually a great number of women in Hollywood who have each other's backs, but you would be hard-pressed to see evidence of this in the media. We are bombarded with images of women behaving badly toward one another: the "housewives" hurling daggers, "mean girls" going for the jugular, Chelsea Handler attacking... everyone. Some of us, in fact I would venture to say, most of us, are hard-working professionals who know how tough it is out there, especially for women of a certain age.

When one of us goes out on a limb with a project to which she is dedicated, we pony up if we can, we talk it up as we should... and by God, we show up when we are asked. That is the principle, anyway. We also have families, jobs, or lack thereof and a host of other struggles that can make it hard for even a true believer to live up to this standard.

When Janet first approached me about playing Jeanne in Fly Away, I knew I could not think about it for very long. Taking the lead role in a low low budget film is a huge commitment of one's time, energy and resources. There is a ton of give and very little take in the true indie world. This is not the glossy world of a movie like The Kids Are All Right with major movie stars and a small but comfortable budget.

Think separate trailers, decent wardrobe allowance, assistants to run errands and fetch the stars to set asking "Do you need anything? Can I bring you anything... anything at all?"

No, this is the gritty indie world of "Can we use your clothes? Can you change in a tent?" Do you mind going pee in a Porta-Potty? I took a deep breath and said, "Yes, of course I will do it," because the story needed to be told, because I trusted Janet to tell it, because it is what a sister says. I got myself to the set.

Janet and her "dream team" of Pavlina and Sandra and the other bright talented women who took up the lead positions behind the camera, and my beautiful movie-daughter Ashley and I in front constituted a real sisterhood. We were all moved by the story of a single mom struggling to raise a daughter who is on the autism spectrum. There were no divas, no raised voices -- the only drama involved ended up on the screen. We gave every inch of ourselves in trying to be true to it. If you have seen it, I hope you can sense our bond. If you have not seen it I hope you will, because this one is straight from our hearts.

There was another woman behind the scenes with us who is a part of the larger sisterhood and also my blood. Laura Broderick was our autism consultant and she was a great asset to the film. She is also my greatest supporter, my biggest defender and my best friend.

Laura is the executive director of two programs offering supported living services to persons with autism spectrum disorder. She has worked with this population for nearly twenty-five years. She has over a hundred employees and the clients she serves have some of the most challenging behaviors imaginable. Nearly eighty percent of the clients receiving support services from Diverse Journeys and Get a Life have been liberated from institutions. Many were locked away for most of their lives. Laura and her partners are undaunted by even the most extreme cases. When the state approached her about Larry (not his real name) a man in his mid-thirties, long hospitalized -- who had poked his own eyes out in a fit of rage, Laura did not bat hers. "No problem," she replied. "We will get him a baseball hat and get on with his life".

Laura and I share a bond that goes beyond sisterhood. Though she is six years my junior, ours more closely resembles the relationship that many twins share. We finish each other's sentences, read each other's thoughts and are keenly aware of each other's mood. What is remarkable about this is that we are not at all alike.

While we share many physical attributes, our appearance has been shaped by the divergent paths that our lives have taken. I have the toned and honed physique of a professional actress. Years of facials and manicures and pilates have sculpted me into the display version of our genetic code. Laura is tall and strong... the practical version... the girl you call when you need to move a refrigerator or plant a tree. She has been carefree in the sun, as her skin bears witness, and her wolf-blue eyes are lined with care. This does not dim her beauty, but defines it.

Laura began this work right out of college. Her very first job was the overnight shift in a group home run by the Jay Nolan Center. This was a long time ago, when we knew very little about autism and often grouped people on the spectrum with roommates who had schizophrenia and other mental disorders.

This led to a very chaotic environment, with most of the emphasis on containment. We shared an apartment then and I was not at all happy to see her come through the door via the emergency room, sporting a large human bite mark on her forearm. She had furniture hurled at her, took punches to every part of her body and, at one point, a young client standing atop a high counter grabbed her by the hair and jumped to the floor, bashing her skull against the tiles.

Her hands and arms still bear the scars of scratches and bites that she sustained during this period. I was not sold on the whole idea. Laura was unfazed. She never saw the behaviors of her clients; she always saw and loved the person inside. She pursued her career with a vengeance, seeking better ways to communicate with and build a life for people on the spectrum.

While Laura was honing her expertise in this field, I was honing mine in the world of film and television. We both worked hard, logging long hours and enduring endless frustrations. I battled with the Hollywood hierarchy and she confronted the status quo of an entrenched bureaucracy. She helped me learn countless lines and visited me on set after set, easing the loneliness of life on location. I listened with intent to her concerns about Melissa's medication or Jimmy's penchant for running away or whether state funding would dry up. Twenty five years have gone by, and we have both come a long way from 800 Park Street and our childhood home. We have lived separate lives, but have never really been apart. I have fed her cats, she has walked my dogs. We have shared the heartache of loves gone wrong, the passion of our politics and the stresses of our oft fractured family. Oh, and innumerable bottles of good wine. We call ourselves the pigeon sisters, a nod to the fact that we prefer each other's company sometimes to the point of fault. We would be worried about it, but we are too busy making plans for our next Scrabble tournament.

Our lives have intersected at nearly every turn, and that is why it was so gratifying for us to work together on Fly Away. It was the first and, most likely, only time our professional paths have crossed. Laura helped us to make the film ever more authentic, and we, in turn, produced a portrait of what so many families with children on the spectrum endure. This is the cause of Laura's life and, in that way, the story of it, too.

The movie was very well reviewed. We received the kind of notices that are a filmmaker's dream. I was deeply grateful for the appreciation from audiences and critics that our little movie managed to reach. It is lovely to have our hard work rewarded, but in my sister's world there is no applause, no camera to record the long days and nights her dedication requires.

Fly Away is a very personal story for Janet, but also for me. It is an opportunity for me to offer a window into a world that Laura lives in unobserved. A world I was reluctant to enter. A world I would not have chosen for her, and yet this world has offered me a lifetime of lessons. Like the joy of celebrating the small moments of endearment and achievement in her clients' lives.

I have learned through Laura's eyes to see difficult behaviors as simply pieces of the puzzle, simple facts of a life, like having red hair or being good at bowling. I look forward to reports about these lives as I do those of my own friends, because her clients are a part of my world now, too. When two of her mostly non-verbal clients ask to be chaperoned on a date and walk the mall giggling hand in hand, it is a testament. Every small advance for one of these people is the answer to a parent's reverent prayer. When a young man, formerly locked away, begins his own recycling business, it is a victory for us all.

These stories are a powerful reminder that while I might make the movies, it is Laura and her colleagues who quietly and without fanfare make the real magic happen.

Thank you Laura and... Bravo!

Obama and the Age of Unreason

2010-12-13T21:16:50-05:00

I cannot imagine a worse job than being President of these Untied States in these most trying of times. President Barack Obama has been under siege from every side for the entirety of his time in office. The poor guy just cannot do anything right. Passing health care legislation, wrestling 25 billion out of BP, turning around the auto industry and his many other accomplishments are simply ignored. The good is simply not good enough. In spite of his many courageous acts the common wisdom prevails that he is not tough, not all up in the Kool-Aid of the opposition. A notion complicated by the fact that those who oppose him are often on his home team.

Not tough enough? The guy is made of steel. Governing this wild kingdom of a nation is like a never ending episode of Survivor. Every week we send our leader into a shark tank with a bucket of bloody mackerel around his neck. Then when by some miracle he manages to come back alive with enough fish to feed the team we scream: "What? No tuna? No orange roughy?" "Is that the best you can do"? We moan, we wail, we shake our fists!! "Should a gave those sharks a what for!!" We cry. Then we bait him up again and send him back into the tank.

The recent hand wringing over the temporary tax cut deal is a true case in point. The president does not preside over only like minded citizens. He must govern for us all. I agree with Bernie Sanders on principle, but I applaud the president's deft avoidance of a show down in crazy town. A whole lot of folks most pointedly do not agree with Mr. Sanders or with me for that matter as the last election made exceedingly clear. Obama saved the bacon of the unemployed, assured tax credits for children and college students and prevented the middle class from receiving a bill for 3,000.00 on January 1. We seem to think that he has some kind of magic wand that he is refusing to wave. There just simply is no such thing. He is the president not the King and God help him. Really I mean that, God ... please help him.

The seeming horror of holding the highest office in the land makes me wonder what all this jealousy is about among the members of the Senate. Those little green men (and a few women) who are the true hobgoblins of our eternal gridlock. Poor John McCain has been so eaten up with jealousy that he has shrunk to near invisibility. If a Senator shouts in the woods ... and no one hears him ... is he still a Senator? Much of the argument about the issue should be taken up with Cantwell or Murray or Baucus those who clamor for permanent estate tax cuts. There were 12 Democrat Senators prepared to vote against you and me and our dear determined Bernie if the president had not made this deal. The ground shifts under that chamber so relentlessly that it is a wonder some of the older members have not taken a tumble down the aisle. Mr. Schumer is a smart smart guy, but he holds only one perspective while Obama must behold them all.

One of my biggest complaints (and there were so very many) about the Bush administration was that he seemed to care not a whit about those on the left side of the electorate. He did not seem to be my president. He did not hear my voice or care about my values and it hurt my damned feelings. It also demonstrably hurt the country.

I hear a constant refrain about Republicans. It is argued that they are pure and always get their way due to an admirable lock step in their party gait. The Republicans are finger pointers not problem solvers and I do not envy their approach to politics. The fact is they did not do much governing last time around. They did plenty of war starting and marriage defending, but, very little actual governing. There is a reason for that. Governing this nation is hard and truly thankless, but it needs doing. I most certainly do not want Democrats to start acting like Republicans. I absolutely never want to see Mr. Obama acting like Mr. Bush and if you do then I respectfully suggest that you go back on your meds.

I have great hopes for this president and for the future of this country. I am grateful to Bill Clinton, a man I have had my issues with, for stepping up and having Obama's back this week. It is something we are all going to need to do if we want progressive values to prevail in the end. We need to surrender this idea that political purity is the highest value. Good governance should be the goal. The problem with political purity is that it leads to purging on both sides of the equation. Can we really survive wave election after wave election without achieving the tiniest ripple of consensus? The notion that we lost in 2010 because the White House did not tack far enough to the left is simply unfounded. A struggling economy was not helpful, but every election is ours to lose and we lost because we did not support our team. Turnout among Democrats was terrible especially by the young and newly registered, the very folks whose future depends on the success of this president.

If we turn into the latte version of the Tea party threatening censure of all but the most purely progressive, this country will continue to be torn apart. Let's leave the wringing and the rancor to the Republicans. We are not a party known for its unity, but we are united in our desire to work for the common good and to bend the will of history toward justice. President Obama is not perfect nor is he a purist, but he is on our side. I for one intend to stand by his efforts on this mission near impossible. It is a tough job, but somebody's got to do it and so I pray may God bless him. Really, God please bless him, because God knows he is going to need it. And he is going to need us.

A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Plutocracy

2010-10-20T18:51:54-04:00

There is money flowing and flowing and flowing into our national dialogue. Our airwaves are crammed with negative ads financed by the big guys. Wealthy corporations and fat cats are swelling the coffers of the Rovian right. So it's all over for democracy right? The Democrats don't stand a chance against this outpouring of treasure. The midterms are going to be a smackdown of the people's party... those poor, dear Democrats silly enough to believe in governance. It's curtains for the environmentalists and woe unto the education reformers. A woman's right to choose? Sorry, yanked. Green jobs? Um no, not this year. The separation of church and state -- merely a quaint historical notion.

No, say the pundits, this one is for the grand old parties, tea and otherwise, that would-be plutocrats are feting.

Or maybe not. A funny thing is happening at early polling sites all over the country -- folks are voting. America has apparently not gotten the memo that our democracy is for sale. The saps are just proceeding right on with it as though the millions spent to dismay them have somehow failed to do so. It seems they plan to have their vote counted, and last I looked it is votes that we count here... not coins.

I hope at least for Meg Whitman's sake that money can buy you love, because an election? Turns out, not so much. Bless her heart, she spent $120 million of her personal fortune on her race for governor of California and could not even win the endorsement of her hometown paper.

This is very good news for our country as a whole. We are exercising our right to self-determination. Bully for us. I voted today at 1:30 p.m., Central Standard Time, so there, Koch brothers -- you can take your gold and shove it, or what the hell, give some more to Christine O'Donnell... the girl's got rent to pay.

If you have time to read this, you have time to vote. If you are angry about all the anger out there, good, go ahead and be angry -- there is a lot of anger to be angry about. But you must vote. If you need a ride, ask for one, but get to the polls. If you lost your cat, put up posters of her on your way to the booth and vote. If your cause has not yet been taken up by the country, remember that it never will be if you do not vote. If you think that the outcome of this election is a foregone conclusion, then you need to think again, because every election is ours to win or lose, which is why we vote.

They have endless streams of cash, but they do not have you. You are a resource that cannot be monopolized. If they win you lose. It is that simple. You are all you've got, and that is all you need.

Vote.

Larry 1984

2009-12-01T15:55:29-05:00

You are 22 years old and have lived in New York City for almost a year now. They say it takes that long to begin to feel that you are a part of the place. You wanted to come here at 18, but your Midwestern parents insisted you finish college first and now you are kind of glad you did, because even a temp job is hard to come by here. Nights you do word processing for a downtown firm. You spend your days trying to get a part, ANY part in any show. Broadway... Off Broadway... it doesn't matter. You are certain that you have the stuff. An agent saw you in a showcase a few weeks back and says you have potential, which is huge. He agreed to take you on as a hip-pocket client, which is way huge. When you told your parents this momentous news they pretended to be happy for you, but you could hear the judgment in their voices... they wish you would stop this foolishness and come home and get married and be a man. You are never going home, you CANNOT go home... this you know, but never say and they have given up asking. And anyway, this is going to be your year you can feel it. You have a girlfriend back home. Sarah is rooting for you and this helps, but also makes you feel terrible, because you love her, but, you don't know how to tell her that you have met someone else. Especially since that someone else is a boy from your acting class named Mark. The sex was different, but it felt as natural as breathing and as you lay in his arms after you tried to hide the curious thumping in your chest. You always knew that you were different, but it has all come into focus now, the feeling you have held back since childhood. You have yet to say the word out loud, but you know in your bones that you are one of "them". It is both frightening and thrilling to discover that you are gay.

You have an audition today and your stomach is churning... maybe that's what is causing the cramps that keep coming in waves. Or maybe it's the stupid flu... just what you need today of all days the freaking flu! You have been a little run down lately, but then working nights and all so it's probably nothing. You are not going to let it stop you... because this show is going to be big and you are perfect for the part of the innocent young man trying to make his way in the big city. So you gather yourself up and get to the audition. There are a couple dozen actors there ahead of you, but that is just part of the deal, so you put your name on the waiting list and find a space on the floor to sit. The floor is freezing and that must be what is causing the chill to run through you. You try to concentrate, but keep being jolted by shivers "A rabbit must have run across my grave" That is what your Mom always said whenever she shuddered and the memory of this warms you for a moment, but then the chill returns and you are beginning to understand that you are sick really sick. This sucks because you will have to miss work and you really need the money. Rent is due in a week and it is going to be tight. Your name is finally called and you make it through the audition, but it didn't go great, good, but not great and that totally sucks and it is starting to rain and you just want to get home and get warm, but the stupid bus is taking forever and your fever is climbing.

Two days later you wake up in the hospital. Your roommate called an ambulance because he found you on the sofa drenched in sweat and hallucinating. The nurse bends over you and she is a terrifying sight. She is wearing what looks like some kind of NASA space suit. You do not know how lucky you are to even have a nurse enter the room. You are one of a dozen or so recent cases of a strange disease that folks are calling Gay Men's Cancer. No one knows how it spreads or what causes it and many hospital workers, nurses and doctors alike are refusing to even treat patients for fear of catching this plague. "Your fever is down" she says her words muffled through a protective mask. You try to get up and she lurches back like you are some kind of monster. "Just stay down" she snaps. "The doctor will be by to see you later, stay down". You are confused and weak and want to fight this, but you lie back and try to quiet the panic that is rising inside.

The doctor tells you that you have "pnemosistis" pneumonia and he thinks this is being caused by a disease newly identified as AIDS. There have been some whispers about a few guys from the bar who got really sick, but no one knows much about it and those guys are hardcore, you think. This can't be happening, this doctor must be wrong! Oh God! What are you supposed to tell your boss? The people at work do not even think you are gay... they can never ever know that you have AIDS.

A week passes before they send you home with an armload of penicillin and tell you to stay in bed for two more days. You make it back to work on the third day and you are relieved to be getting stronger. Everyone says you look like you have lost weight, but, at 6 ft 175 pounds you are still a strapping young man. You decide that the doctor is wrong... it was just some complications from the flu. A few good meals and several hours at the gym and you are good as new.

Three weeks later you wake on Saturday morning and notice a strange coating on your tongue. By Monday there is a white foam at the corners of your mouth. This is so weird. The doctor at the hospital told you about a clinic that you could go to and with no small amount of dread you call for an appointment.

"Sounds like thrush" says the voice in a thick outer borough accent. "You had better come in". "This bites" you think, but you gather yourself and go to the clinic. The place looks like a bomb shelter, but that does not prepare you for what you will see when you enter the waiting room. The place appears to be a war zone. There are men in varying stages of the disease. Most are young, crazy young ... their soft boyish eyes filled with equal parts shock and sorrow, skin ravaged by purple lesions, flesh draped over protruding bone. You are stunned by how sick and wasted these men are. They appear to be made of twig and string.

You are given medicine for the thrush, but it gets much worse before it gets better and you are ashamed to go outside of the apartment with your foaming face and soon the drugs have taken a toll on your system and you are wracked with diarrhea. Your roommate tries to help by leaving food on the stove, but you can tell that he is too afraid and too disgusted to come near you. A week passes and you haven't been to the office. There is a large purple mark on the side of your neck. You think about calling home, but you are terrified of what your father will do and say when he finds out. Your boss calls to tell you not to bother coming back... your position has been filled. You try not to cry, but the tears start and will not stop... it feels like your life is slipping away. Mark hasn't even called and you are totally alone and maybe it's true what they are saying that this is God's punishment of your venal sins.

Two weeks later, you find yourself spending the night on the bathroom floor... the diarrhea coming in wave after wave. You had an accident and it took all of your strength to clean it up and you would be mortified, but, you are too weak to care. The next thing you know you are back in the hospital surrounded by extraterrestrials. Someone is speaking to you, the doctor you think, but, his shape is blurry. "It looks like you have a lesion on your brain and that is what is causing the vision loss". You squint opening first the left eye and then the right. The right eye brings the doctor into a kind of shadowed relief. "Would you like me to call someone? Your family?" the voice asks and there is a deep kindness in it that almost breaks you, but you shake your head , your voice sounds unfamiliar when you speak "no no ", you say and turn your face so that he cannot see the shame.

You do not know this, but your roommate is calling your Mom back home and telling her how sick you are, that they say you have AIDS. She listens quietly, holding herself around the middle. She cannot take it in really. Her son is so young and strong that surely he will recover from whatever this is. She promises to send money, but asks the young man to please not call here again. If your father got wind of it there would be no end to his fury. Gay? AIDS? She cannot believe it, she refuses to believe it.

A week passes and you are not better. The hospital room is quiet. No one has entered in what seems like days and you cannot remember the last time you have eaten. Each breath comes in with a high pitched sigh as if your lungs were made of wind chimes, the paper origami kind that sort of whistle in the breeze. Your right eye no longer affords you any indication of the time, there are only shadows now and it could be night or day. It no longer matters. The doctor was here to see you yesterday? Today? You aren't sure really. He asked again if there was anyone to call, but this time you just stared ahead blankly. No.

Is this a dream or has Mark entered the room? The boy you loved so much that it hurts just to hear his voice. You cannot see him and will never know how weakened he too has become. He says gently: "Hey" and touches your forehead and the warmth of it spreads through to your toes. You begin to feel light as if you were floating. The hand strokes your head and you give in to it, allowing yourself to soften. "It's okay" he says, and you want to believe him, but mostly you are aching to feel him next to you. "Please? ", you ask and he gently lifts you to make room. You weigh 100 pounds now, there is nothing left of you, but a heart so young it does not know how to stop beating. Mark summons all of his courage and lays his body next to yours "I'm sorry" he whispers and it is the last thing you hear.

It is a week before she arrives to gather your things for the long ride home. Your father has not spoken since he learned of your death. That is just as well, because she has nothing to say to him. There are no words for any of it. Your roommate helps her stack your bags by the front door and hands her a letter that is addressed to you. Inside is 500 dollars and a note that says. "This is all I can get for now without your father finding out. You know how he is. I love you. Get well soon.

Your Mom

The Betrayed

2009-06-26T21:34:45-04:00

The headlines are abuzz with the gleeful news that yet another man has betrayed yet another woman. Governor Sanford let loose with a 20-minute statement that was as selfish and self-pitying as any I have heard, well on the nightly news that is. I have unfortunately heard it before and I can tell you from experience that the pain is excruciating, the shame enveloping, and the damage immeasurable. Those thoughts and prayers that we are urged to hold for the wife and family? Well, you'd best plan to keep them coming for the next several years, because that is how long it will take them to recover if indeed they ever do. He will be of no use in that process as was made clear by his actions as well as his apology. Clearly, the only person the Governor is sorry for is himself. He seemed to revel in the fact the he alone had the capacity to hurt so many. His Mistress, his Wife, his Sons, his Staff, his State, his Party...they were all given equal value with perhaps a smidgen of empathy for the mistress, she of the" beautiful handheld body parts". Oh the importance of the man! Let us all behold the glorious power of him and his own now infamous body part.

Many people seem baffled by the fact that he concocted such an elaborate lie in order to cover his tracks. This does not surprise me at all. It is the hallmark of narcissism, this belief that if he says it then it must be so. Hiking for six days in the Appalachians? Hilarious, really, and doubly hurtful, insinuating as it most certainly did, that we are all fools and that the great legend of his complexity should suffice to explain any action he chooses to take. The larger point it makes is that we really do not matter. The story will keep changing to fit his impression of himself. That loyal wife and those four perfect boys are no match, for the ego of this man...the next JFK no less. What was good enough for Jackie and her kids is good enough for them. They will not get the truth, not ever. They are expected to be consoled by their proximity to the great one.

He made a fool of himself to be sure, but she of the" tender lips and gentle touches", that gal made an ass of him. Any woman willing to be an accomplice in the affliction of so much pain upon so many is in it for one thing and it's not a body part. Two words...meal ticket. He reeked of cashola with his two houses and his expensive suits and his penchant for bad poetry. He was an easy mark and she definitely made hers. This woman may or may not be heard from, but you can bet someone is being asked to buy her off and shut her up. It remains to be seen if they will dig down deep enough and soon enough to silence her. The folks around Edwards seem to have made the nincompoop who trapped him and bore his child disappear. I hope for everyone's sake that the team around Sanford will draw the wagons and pony up.

When will men ever figure out that this big swinging dick action only makes them into midgets? That the capacity to give and receive love is the only legacy we leave. Ryan O'Neal has proved himself a giant of a man in this same week. He has writ his legacy large with tenderness and courage. He did what a man is supposed to do, what each of us hopes we will do in the face of death. He looked it in the eye and said "no dice pal". You can claim her, but you cannot take her from me. She is the woman I love and she will forever be mine. We grieve with him, but we are happy for them both. We will all die and we all hope that it will be in the embrace of love. That is the one abiding and amazing grace of life on this Earth.

Sanford and his ilk will leave a legacy, but they have lost their grace. "I made a mistake" he will say as they all do, and then hang their heads while we are asked to respect their honesty and admire their humility. A word of warning gentlemen, when we say that you are forgiven, we are lying. You have shown yourselves to be true cowards...no amount of prostrating and praying will convince us that you are anything, but weak and careless. There is an old saying in business: "Never trust a man who cheats on his wife". Now this is not meant to apply to the moron who goes to a strip club in Vegas and finds himself carried into the night by a pasty-clad specter of his fading youth. No, they are talking about betrayal and if you will do it to her, then you will do it to them, clearly you will do it to anyone.

By now it should go without saying that I have a dog in this hunt. Or rather I married a dog. He has been out of my life for some time now, but I am still struggling with the shame and the sorrow of being lied to for years. I am left to wonder if every instinct I possess is flawed. We are told repeatedly that we make choices in life and that we must take responsibility for them, and so I try to hold myself up to the light to see what darkness lies within that could have drawn this man to me. How stupid must I be to have bought into the lies, worrying for his well-being while sacrificing my own? Pretty damned stupid is the conclusion I usually draw and then I try to forgive myself, try being the operative word here. Mostly I just get on with it, with the business of the every day and I do that pretty well. I continue to care for the people I love and dedicate myself to the work that inspires me and I try to laugh as often as possible at myself and at this crazy mixed up world. Life goes on and I am grateful for the love and support of so many in mine. I am lucky and I know it, but I am not over it and I wonder will I ever be?

Watching that press conference was a trip down a highway of hurt. I have stumbled through the last two days with my gaze averted, trying to swallow the lump in my throat, trying to breathe through the re-awakened agony of it all. This much I know. He will say that he loves his wife, but she will never believe him. He can say that he never meant to hurt his sons, but he left them fatherless on Father's Day and so they know that is not true. I actually feel sorry for my ex-husband as I do for this Governor and for all of the men who have shamed themselves and their families, because they will be haunted by this fact for the rest of their days. We do not know you and deep down we now believe that we never did. How sad that in the pursuit of your ego and the vision of yourself as a man of power, you have lost both. All eyes are on this poor wretch from South Carolina, but he will soon find that he has become invisible.

It is he who has been betrayed.

I Did It Anyway

2009-01-26T23:23:44-05:00

It has been 6 days since our 44th president took the oath of office and my feet are still cold. I was one of the 2 million folks who braved the elements to attend this historic occasion. I have been to a Presidential Inauguration before, so I knew full well going in that it would not be an E ticket ride.

I did it anyway.

I expected cold and confusion and craziness and I got it in spades. I knew what I was in for. I did it anyway. (That being said I will tell you that the "tunnel of doom" experience was a new level of Inaugural hell. Lordy what a mess! I'll bet even old "water board 'em" Gonzales would call that torture.)

I did it anyway.

I am not exactly the hearty type. My idea of camping is a weekend at San Yisidro Ranch. I am willing to hike a mile or two as long as there is a blow dryer and a four star restaurant at the end of the trail. So it was not for my personal pleasure that I trudged for three hours plus to find my seat. I would have been absolutely content to view the proceedings on the television ... Bloody Mary in one hand, Kleenex in the other, weeping and texting and actually seeing the damned thing. For the record my seat in the "Orange" section was artfully placed behind a two story scaffold. I had a clear view of the backsides of a half a dozen cameramen. (Note to said cameramen, those backsides were substantial, as in perhaps it is time to put down the butter knife... substantial.)

I did not complain, nor did I hear many grumbles from the folks around me. I do not know whether this was due to hunger and hypothermia or to our good natures, but, one thing is certain... those better angels we have been hearing about were working overtime that day. Anyone who was there for the fun of it quickly learned that there was not much fun to be had, and as for witnessing history?... What does that mean exactly? You cannot hold history in your hand, you cannot wear it or photograph it or talk baby talk to it. History makes itself and mostly it does so after the witnesses have permanently left the scene. History is a gift, welcome or not, to the living from the dead and we do not get to see them unwrap the package.

I was not there for the ceremony (note to Justice Roberts.. you are not good at this kind of thing). I was not there for the pre-recorded Yo Yo Ma. I was definitely not there for the poem. (What the hell kind of poem was that?) The folks around me were likewise underwhelmed by the pageantry. From what I could tell most of us were there for one reason. We were there to show the world that we believe in the man and his message. It was just another extraordinary day in the life, of an extraordinary Democracy. If the 2 million people I stood with that day are any measure, then America may be down, but we are not out. The sight lines for the swearing in may have been terrible, but the sight of 2 million folks behind me in a sea of solidarity was worth every step and every shudder. It was worth every uncomfortable minute of the 7 hours that I was out there.

In popular psych speak we are told repeatedly that "showing up is half the battle." If this is true, then the forces of evil had best beware, because we are "showing up" and we will fight you en masse against any and all odds.

If I were you Mr. Limbaugh and Mr. Boehner, I would be getting nervous right about now. We have the frozen feet and the footage to prove it. Seems that 80-year-old black ladies and skinny white girls and families with young children and teenagers and twenty somethings and Rick Warren and Reverend Lowery and Usher and Josh Groban and the Gay Men's Chorus and Planned Parenthood and the League of Conservation Voters and the Union of Concerned Scientists and The Boss and will.i.am and the indefatigable Arianna Huffington and my mom and a lot of other people's moms and dads have come together. We are united and we want you to know that.

We are with President Obama and we will stand with him for as long as it takes. We will stand with him out in the cold. We will show up if it means walking shoulder to shoulder in a darkened tunnel. We will keep walking together in peace even if we are scared and cold and hungry and tired and the closeness has begun to fray our nerves. We are millions strong and there may be miles to go before we see the light, but, we will press on. We will show up, because we are done with you and if you are smart you will pack it in and take your chances with history. We are absolutely aware of how much is at stake and how hard this will be and we know full well that it will not be fun.

We will do it anyway.