Beverley Golden2013-06-19T01:34:36-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/index.php?author=beverley-goldenCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Beverley GoldenGood old fashioned elbow grease.What We Can Learn From Philanthropist Salah Bachirtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.33163922013-05-22T17:42:54-04:002013-05-23T17:21:31-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/Hurricane Sandy back in late October and now a ferocious tornado that ripped through suburban Oklahoma City, shocking us with their devastation and inviting us to get involved in whatever way we can. Fundraising has taken on gigantic proportions and in times of need, people always do seem to rally and come together. It's a striking demonstration of the power of community.
Personally, human rights, animal rights and environmental issues speak loudest to me. However, when I recently received a clever email from a long-time friend asking me to participate in his "Non-Gala Gala," I smiled and took notice. The friend is charismatic philanthropist and devoted Patron of the Arts Salah Bachir. He came out and announced to the world that since last December, he personally has been in dialysis three times a week at St. Joseph's Health Centre.
In the email he explained, "Each session lasts four-and-a-half hours and I spend much of this time on BlackBerry or sitting watching a clunky TV that is more than a decade old and sometimes works, sometimes doesn't. The same situation goes for chemo patients in oncology units."
From this, he came up with an inventive way to raise funds to replace the antiquated equipment with patient accessible TVs in their renal and oncology units. This change will dramatically improve the viewing experience for hundreds of dialysis and chemotherapy patients for many years to come.
The non-invitation invited people "to save the money you'd spend on a new outfit, parking and a babysitter and put it all towards this great cause." And they did. Touched by the personal and specific nature of his request, people rallied and in three weeks, he surpassed the target of $150,000 and raised $210,000. The excess funds will be used to purchase the costly software required to input patient history on these screens, as well as updating the TV sets in the waiting lounges throughout the Health Centre. One man raised $210,000. A huge part of the success is Salah himself.
Yes, he does have a million-dollar Rolodex of both people and companies who can easily write cheques and gladly lend support in a big way. I would say the reason why people give, is primarily because of the person Salah is. He's someone I've known as having a giving and sincere generosity of spirit, a person who truly has always been concerned about others first.
Salah and I first met in the very early days of the home video industry in Canada. We were both forging trails in uncharted territory. Me, with a chain of home video rental stores, and Salah, with a national video magazine. We became friends and some of my earliest and most memorable writing was done for his magazine. One piece, on actor Jimmy Stewart, even garnered a letter of thanks and appreciation from James Stewart himself. We laughed recently about the fact that he kept the original and I got a copy, which I write about and include in my upcoming book Confessions of a Middle-Aged Hippie. Very special memories.
I sat and visited with Salah recently, while he was having dialysis. I asked him where his "fund-raising" persona began. He told me a charming story of how, when he was 15-years-old, he picketed outside a Dominion store to support Caesar Chavez and the farm workers during the grape boycott. As people passed him during the day they offered up small donations to support the cause. He remembers that even though his father didn't agree with his actions, he topped up the fund, giving $50 to bring his total for the day to $150. He was excited and nervous to have the opportunity to hand the funds to Chavez himself who was visiting Toronto, and somewhat reluctantly said they had only raised $150. He's never forgotten what Chavez said to him: "It's $150 more than we had this morning."
Salah, President of Cineplex Media, is known as "Gala Salah" and has chaired and raised millions of dollars for causes he believes in. And that is the key. He must believe in the cause and see that they are operating from a place of integrity and transparency. It's important to him that funds raised go to the cause, not to other areas of operations.
In April of this year he helped raise funds for the Museum of Canadian Contemporary Art and he is often involved with fundraising for the Art Gallery of Ontario. This Sunday, May 26, he is presenting The 519 Gala to raise funds for this much needed facility to a sold-out crowd. Located in the Church and Wellesley area of Toronto, the 519 has been supporting the lesbian, gay, bi, trans and queer (LGBTQ) communities for over 35 years, helping to build healthy, welcoming spaces to meet, participate and celebrate together.
To me, Salah is a shining example of what one person can do. He started humbly, with a commitment to social justice causes. Although it might appear that money is at the root of successful giving, I'd suggest that each of us has many ways we can give. Ways that have less to do with money, and more to do with caring, taking action and becoming involved. He also gives recognition and praise to the unseen volunteers who commit themselves tirelessly behind the scenes to make things happen.
One person can change a life. Start locally and think globally. A simple smile can make someone's day. A small gift of your time, can mean so much to someone in need. A listening ear can make someone feel they matter.
Something as easy as signing a petition and bringing awareness to issues that are important to you, is a way to begin. Nowadays, there are incredibly powerful online groups, like Avaaz.org, now 20 million strong, where you can add your voice and make a huge impact for change in a wide variety of areas around the globe. There is no longer a valid reason that each of us can't choose our own unique way to contribute.
For those who still believe they are powerless to make a difference, I leave you with a wonderful quote by anthropologist Margaret Mead: "Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
I encourage everyone to look at what is really important to you. What can you do today to make a difference? What do you stand for? How do you give?
]]>Redefining Beauty and Brains as a Middle-Aged Hippietag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31973662013-05-02T15:26:16-04:002013-05-02T15:26:22-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/so beautiful or sosmart. Some who knew me very well, actually saw both. I strove at all costs to have my intellect be recognized as my principle asset and, heaven forbid, someone would relate to me as just "another pretty face."
To some degree that worked. I left high school early and went to play with a large group of boys at university, who were all eager to make their mark in the big bad world of business, as was I. On graduation, I was awarded the gold medal as the outstanding graduate from a class of 400 business students. Not bad considering only ten of us were women. Times have definitely changed.
Now that I'm older, I'd like to think that I'm still smart. My mother at least confirms this for me by telling me "You're too smart for your own good." Although I've never quite figured out what that means, I am going to take it as a compliment. The beauty issue is quite another story. Actually, it is in fact intertwined with many, many of my life stories, which are chronicled in my upcoming memoir Confessions of a Middle-Aged Hippie, to be published this summer.
Up until last week, the picture that lives of me in cyberspace, (although only two-and-a -half-years old), apparently looks to some people like I am a lot younger than I am. One man told me I look like a single woman still in the dating scene who is in her late 20s or early 30s. Yikes! I immediately booked a photo session, as I wanted a fresh new authentic author photo that represents who I am today. Having always photographed well, I'm grateful that most of the time, I do look good in pictures. However, I admit that like many aging women, I questioned how real would be real enough to accurately represent me now. Tough question indeed.
My life, as I write about in my book, has been a journey to shift paradigms and show what is truly possible. Pretty much in most areas of my life. I know that through the magic of photoshop or air brushing, it is quite easy to appear flawless and young. Does what I represent in my stories and how I live my life, mean my author photo needs to be au naturel and show that I truly walk my talk?
As a highly visual person, (with a very strong Venus influence in my astrological chart) I openly confess that I love beauty. Youthful, innocent, flawless beauty. Beauty of course is a very subjective topic, yet for me, I sometimes wonder if having been young and beautiful might have been totally wasted on me back when I was. People still tell me I am beautiful. Somehow I hear the subtext "for your age" in the statement, even though it isn't spoken. I understand that this might seem to be shallow and I confess it might be.
As a wise cousin once said to me "When you grow up as the pretty one, you learn to walk through the world differently than those of us (meaning her) who aren't as pretty." I guess that's true, however, I can't know her experience, as I haven't walked in her shoes. Although technically I did, as I had to borrow her shoes to get married in, because my four-inch platform heals were vetoed before the wedding ceremony. Full story in the book.
Not only do I love beauty, but I find thin plus beautiful even more attractive. Coming from a family who are generally plump or zaftig, I figured out a clever (remember I'm smart) way to get thin, by creating a very mysterious gastrointestinal illness that led to me malabsorbing mostly everything I ate (sometimes up to 4000 calories a day), resulting in me becoming painfully thin. I write about all this in my book, exposing myself in a very raw and vulnerable way, in hopes that it might be of some help to others. I even include a picture of me at 89 pounds looking like a walking skeleton, when my health was so bad that people didn't think I would make it. But I did. In my case, pictures have always been worth way more than the proverbial thousand words.
Having spent almost an entire decade at an abnormally and unhealthy low weight, I have no idea what I would have aged like, as I moved into middle-age. My fall was so dramatic, that I had truly all but lost hope of ever looking "pretty" again or even getting above 95 pounds. I did emerge after a very long and arduous climb back. Maybe that is partly why this issue is so emotionally charged for me.
Even after all I've been through in my life, when the photographer asked if I was nervous about the shoot, I had to admit that the idea of having a new picture taken still surprisingly excites me. After all, I've had men become totally enamoured with me, (before even meeting me), just from my picture, intrigued by my eyes and smile and hopefully, the way I express myself. These might not be the "smart" men that are still out there.
So this middle-aged hippie took the plunge and had a photo shoot done. I'm ecstatic to report that it turned out wonderfully. We left most of the lines in my lower face and around my eyes, but not all of them. Some of the pictures are still pretty scary to me, however, I won't make those public. Many are exceptional. When I posted one of these new pictures on Facebook, the comments were incredible. Gorgeous. Beautiful. Radiant. Captured your shining inner spirit. One person asked how long ago the picture had been taken? Three days ago. They thought it was from when I was much younger. Hmm.
I'm still working on accepting the beauty I've grown into at this current age. I understand that, especially in North America, we have set warped and unattainable standards because of our obsession with youthful beauty. Times are changing. They have to, if we want to encourage young women to love and accept themselves as they are, so they are equipped to reach their full potential. It is imperative to foster their self-esteem, so they don't diminish themselves, by attempting to be something that is unrealistic and unobtainable for most.
I'd like to be someone who sets an example of what is possible relating to aging. It felt wonderful when a young thirty-year-old friend commented that when she clicked on my new picture online, she was delighted to see I wasn't trying to look like a 40 or 50-something line-free, flawlessly photoshopped woman. That I look beautiful and still represent my older age. A great affirmation for me.
Beauty is still an incredibly sensitive subject for me. I know that true beauty does come from inside. It radiates out from the soul. Hopefully my life experiences are shining through and I can continue to contribute to this ongoing conversation about aging gracefully, especially in a time when women feel compelled to have all kinds of "work" done to their faces in an effort to look young. Much of the time, ending up not even looking like who they are, but some fake virtually unrecognizable version of themselves. Each to their own. My vote goes to real and authentic.
So with Mother's Day approaching, I encourage us all to shift the way we look and see the true beauty in everyone -- regardless of age.
Love to hear your thoughts on women, aging and beauty.
Weekly, I would scour the grocery store flyers to see who had the best price. I would buy case loads at a time, to feed my eight-can-a-day habit. My ex and I would make sure we hit the stores early, to stock up and not miss the low-price sale. Everywhere I went, I took one with me.
In our apartment, there were trails of opened cans that almost looked like they were part of our decor. No one, other than my wise mother, ever suggested that maybe, just maybe, drinking so much diet Pepsi might be contributing to my worsening health issues. Major gastrointestinal problems that kept me in chronic and often acute debilitating pain, eventually leading to major surgery. My gut was a mess. That is putting it mildly.
I feel pretty lucky though. When I decided to quit, as with most of my significant life decisions, I went for it and just stopped. Cold turkey. Days of jitters, shaking hands and mood swings, but overall, I got through it mostly unscathed. I never went back.
When I recently read that superstar Beyoncé, a role model to millions, especially her legions of young fans, signed a $50 million deal with Pepsi, I was compelled to speak up. A lifestyle brand! Seriously? That's how she described the soda giant. Plus, as a public spokesperson for Michelle Obama's Let's Move campaign, aimed at getting American youth moving with the goal of ending obesity, I'd have to ask "Where do Pepsi products fit in with that, Beyoncé?" I'm actually curious if Beyoncé drinks Pepsi products, or if she would allow her young daughter to drink them.
With so much current information on the risks of both diet sweeteners, (like aspartame which diet Pepsi contains) and high-fructose corn syrup, present in regular sodas, it's important to continue the conversation and raise awareness of the dangers of ingesting these proven harmful substances. Research confirms that high-fructose corn syrup is a major contributor to obesity, diabetes, heart disease and possibly even strokes. Not just in adults, but in children too!
And then there is aspartame. If you read my piece, Obesity, MSG and Rats, you already know that both MSG and aspartame are excitotoxins, substances which over excite neurons to the point of cell damage and eventually cell death. So, in the case of aspartame, if you think it's a healthy diet sweetener and you are drinking diet sodas to lose weight and get slim, increasingly the research shows that it can actually contribute to weight gain! And research also shows that artificial sweeteners, aspartame in particular, might even be more dangerous than high-fructose corn syrup!
For convincing research on the alarming health risks of both MSG and aspartame, I direct you once again to the work of John Erb, a former researcher at the University of Waterloo in Canada, and his eye-opening book, The Slow Poisoning of America.
Artificial and low calorie sweeteners can also activate your appetite, increase carbohydrate cravings and stimulate fat storage, leading to weight gain. A glowing example for me, is from a good, but overweight, friend of mine who was heavily hooked on very super-sized diet sodas. He recently reported that he finally stopped drinking his daily diet soda fix and actually lost 19 pounds in three weeks. Just from cutting out his daily diet soda habit! Personal experience always speaks volumes to me.
With Beyoncé's Pepsi announcement, there are many who have vocally spoken out against her choice to align with them. In a poignant and pointed letter to her, the Center for Science in the Public Interest, encouraged her to reconsider and at the very least, donate the money to causes doing research on obesity, diabetes and other soda-related diseases. So far, no response from her.
A piece in Frugivore Magazine expresses the two sides of the debate on Beyoncé's deal:
"Reactions have been mixed. Fans view the campaign as a momentous accomplishment for the singer, while others chide Beyoncé for supporting a sugary-soda brand which is a health affront to many American consumers. They even accuse the diva of hypocrisy for appearing in Michelle Obama's "Let's Move" initiative to encourage good health among children and later, selling Pepsi cans."
We live in a world where transparency is imperative. This is a good thing, making everything immediately visible, encouraging people to speak out and use their voice. Do celebrities have a moral responsibility to talk their talk and walk their walk? I believe they do. Can they get away with immoral choices anymore? Not too easily.
With so much information available, it seems virtually unbelievable that consumers are not already aware of the potential health risks from consuming both diet sweeteners and high fructose corn syrup found in sodas. Apparently, lots of people still won't listen.
I confess I was one of them way back then, and it was challenging for me to admit that maybe my diet Pepsi habit was contributing to my health problems. I can only urge others to educate themselves and continue to put their health first. And the health of children everywhere. So many young people are highly impressionable and more so than ever, it is all of our responsibilities, whether a celebrity or not, to bring attention to issues that are important to the overall health and well-being of not only us as individuals, but to us as a collective society.
What are your thoughts on artificial sweeteners, soda pop and Beyoncé's deal with Pepsi?
Visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com and follow me on Twitter: @goldenbeverley]]>The Ultimate Manly Accessory? A Moustache!tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.20363512012-10-29T17:02:51-04:002012-12-29T05:12:02-05:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
Then I was attracted to and married a man who had a full face (and head) of hair. Massive full beard and moustache, plus shoulder-length hair which suited his rock-and-roll lead singer persona. In all the time I've known him, (which is more than three decades), he has never once shaved off the facial hair that has become a significant part of who he appears as, to the world. There is only one lonely picture of him as a young up-and-coming member of a Beatle look-alike band, that reveals one of the main reasons he considered growing the facial hair in the first place. Self-consciousness (and maybe a bit of vanity) about a double chin.
The world-wide yearly event Movember, where men are encouraged to grow moustaches to raise funds and awareness for men's health, specifically prostate cancer and male mental health initiatives, happens around the globe every November. It brought my attention again to this unique thing that men can do and women (well, most women anyways) can't.
I became curious to explore the reasons why men grow facial hair, and whether or not women are actually attracted to it. The jury is out on how I feel about it, as for me, it's always more about a person's energy than a specific look. Although, come to think of it, I do remember finding myself strangely captivated by the wonderfully moustached actors Tom Selleck and Burt Reynolds when I was much younger.
No dispute that Movember and Novembeard or No-Shave month, have made their way into our consciousness during the month of November. Movember has had more than 1.9 million men around the world participate so far. Started in 1999 in Australia, in 2011, over 854,000 Mo Bros and Mo Sistas around the globe took part, raising $125.7 million CDN.
The official Movember rules are strict, but pretty simple. The participants who are called "Mo Bros," must begin the month completely clean-shaven, and may only grow moustaches. The one way women are allowed to participate, is by helping to spread awareness, organize events, and collect money. We Canadians, in fact, are the largest contributors world-wide.
BLOG CONTINUES AFTER SLIDESHOW
No-Shave November is a related event that promotes the same causes, but widens the field and is a little more relaxed. The only rule: Absolutely NO shaving in November. Beards and sideburns are allowed, as well as participation from the ladies. Women are encouraged to let their hair grow, wherever it may. Legs, armpits and... you get the picture.
Participating in special events like Movember or No-Shave month aside, I'm curious why do men choose to grow facial hair and do women, in fact, really like it? Some men grow it and never take it off. Others grow it, shave it and grow it back again.
Some of the questions a male friend of mine posed to himself as he was trying to decide whether to shave his manicured goatee off, intrigued me and had me interested in exploring the facial hair topic more. Do men just like the way it looks? Does it make a man look masculine or more attractive? Is it a sign of virility or strong testosterone, as some guys apparently can't grow a nice thick beard. Has it just become a fixture on the face of those who chose to grow it long ago? Is a man's identity tied to his facial hair? Does it offer the man an opportunity to hide behind something? Of the many reasons to consider, I'd suggest that each individual's choice is highly personal and complex.
Most of the small group of men I asked, originally grew their moustache or beard to cover up what they perceived as some facial imperfection, and might even be considered a form of male vanity. Got a thin or wide upper lip. Grow a moustache. A weak or double chin. Cover it with a beard.
With regards to the moustache, Allan Peterkin, author and associate professor of psychiatry at the University of Toronto said, "After decades of being much maligned in Western culture, the moustache is now enjoying a cultural renaissance." He points to young celebrities such as James Franco and Ryan Gosling who have helped to make it fashionable, as well as the charitable movements such as Movember, for bringing awareness to it.
Research shows that some men do feel facial hair makes them look more worldly or manly. Some like the way it feels. Studies consistently show that women, however, do not necessarily like it. And results often suggest that beards send a signal of masculinity to other men, but do little to attract women. In a study done by Nick Neave, a Northumbria University psychologist, results found it's light stubble that gets the highest ratings from women. Thumbs up for the scruffy look. Neaves added, '"It was almost as if women preferred a man who could grow a beard but hadn't."
Study results generally showed that men are perceived to look significantly more attractive and even younger when they're clean-shaven. Research, led by Paul Vasey of Alberta's University of Lethbridge and New Zealand anthropologist Barnaby Dixson, confirmed that overall, both sexes said bearded men looked older. It also affirmed that men with beards appeared to have a higher social status and earned more respect from men.
Vasey and Dixson say that Charles Darwin speculated that beards evolved in our ancestors because women found facial hair attractive. Vassy reported to Global News that, "Taken together this research suggests that the beard did not evolve because women prefer male mates with beards. Rather, the results are consistent with the conclusion that beards evolved because they signal a male's age, status and augment displays of aggressiveness, all of which would have been helpful in repelling rival males in mating context."
So men, are you up for a challenge? If you've ever considered trying out some facial hair, a moustache or perhaps even a beard, November is your opportunity to experiment with what it looks and feels like. A chance to get involved and to raise money and awareness for a great cause: men's health.
I'm left with lots of unanswered questions, but the jury is still out for me. Why do you men grow facial hair and women, do you like your men with or without it? Looking forward to hearing your thoughts.
Visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com]]>Vancouver: Future Greenest City in the Worldtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.18506402012-09-04T09:21:02-04:002012-11-04T05:12:01-05:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/Sedona, Arizona in the mid-1980s; a place I continue to return to as often as possible. It's actually visiting the West Coast that always inspires me to sit down and write about it.
My recent trip had me visit both Vancouver and Victoria B.C., after loving and having to leave Portland, Oregon. There is something magical, a very different energy I experience in all places west of the Rockies. I've also been interested and curious to find how many West Coast cities are far and away leaders in the green and environmental movements. I hadn't been to Vancouver for many years and found, (like I discovered and wrote about in my piece on Portland), it too was living up to its vision of creating a greener future for the city.
I believe that if you want to know the future, create it. This is exactly what Vancouver is doing. With a pretty bold future oriented vision to become the greenest city in the world by 2020, they are already well on the way to accomplishing their goal. According to the city website, they currently have "the smallest carbon footprint of any major city in North America and we're a leader in green building, planning and technology." Impressive.
With a comprehensive 10-step plan, they seem to have looked at and are encompassing all the important areas necessary, to accomplish their goal. From extensive plans for developing a green economy, with green buildings and green transportation, to achieving climate leadership with clean air and access to nature, they have examined everything that is important to creating a totally sustainable and progressive cco-conscious city. They have not only identified what's necessary but have put into action initiatives to achieve this.
One of the terms they use a lot in describing the way of achieving their goal, is by creating "green collar jobs." Their intention is to double the number of green jobs in the city by 2020, (over 2010 levels) which could mean as many as 20,000 new jobs are created. Vancouver currently has about 12,000 green jobs in eight sectors. These account for three per cent of Vancouver's jobs, in industries ranging from clean technology and education, to green building and materials recovery; from local food and urban agriculture to transportation and infrastructure.
Vancouver also has ambitious plans to become a leader in urban food systems and in realizing zero waste by reducing total solid waste going to landfill or incinerator by 50 per cent from 2008 levels. A practical and doable plan that should continue to attract both new business and new residents to the city.
In fact, among 27 cities examined by the Economist Intelligence Unit, a study sponsored by Siemens, only San Francisco rated better overall as the greenest city in North America. Vancouver is already the greenest city in Canada. The only other Canadian city to challenge them, is my hometown of Toronto, which came in at number nine. Seems like we all have our own work to do in this area of greening our cities.
Having now revisited Vancouver, I recognize its unique attraction. Surrounded by natural beauty, the attitude is laid back and West Coast relaxed. Stanley Park, a 1,000-acre rain forest just north of downtown, is ringed by the Pacific Ocean on three sides. A living and breathing Canadian rain forest. I admit that this is something I just discovered. The perimeter of the park is lined by two paths, one for pedestrians and one for cyclists and in-line skaters.
There's also an abundance of other opportunities for cycling, sailing and skiing close by, with year-round communing with nature a real possibility. In fact, Vancouver is unsurpassed in not only its natural terrain, offering seemingly unlimited activities to choose from, but is also steeped in cultural and historic possibilities to explore as well.
The climate is vacation friendly year-round, although some might bring up the fact that it rains a lot in Vancouver. It does, but on a clear day... well, it almost seems like you can see forever. The moderating onshore breezes make the air already among the cleanest air to breathe of any major world city. This time around, a friend guided me to new and interesting locales throughout the city, letting our feet lead us on a long and invigorating walk along the shoreline starting at Jericho Beach. A perfect day of sun, sand and warm breezes.
This recent return to Vancouver, captured for me its attraction and charm. Its plan to become the greenest city in the world by 2020 might seem ambitious to some. For me, it's the fact that the plans they have put in place are supported by everyone. It's a plan created by a forward-thinking government. It is for the people and in many ways, by the people. It's a co-operative and socially conscious effort for change. I'll look forward to seeing how Vancouver achieves their goals and in some ways, leads the way for all of us.
Visit me at www.beverleygolden.com.]]>In Portland, I Found Nothing to Mocktag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.17608322012-08-16T14:07:15-04:002012-10-16T05:12:28-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
Welcome to Portland, Oregon, a city of just over 500,000, that has been home to a progressive environmental culture pretty much before "being green" became hip and very marketable. It's been on the top of my list of places to visit for a long time, so when I was fortunate enough to get a ticket to the second annual World Domination Summit taking place there, I was very excited. The event itself was awesome! A gathering of 1,000 people all committed to live a remarkable life in a conventional world. And for me, so was the city of Portland itself.
Portland's reputation is certainly one to be proud of. It's known as one of the most ecologically conscious places in the world. Hundreds of grassroots environmental organizations are based in and around the city. They don't just pitch this as a possibility, they genuinely live it and value sustainable growth. And that's what I found as I walked the streets. I actually smiled every time I saw the BigBelly® solar-powered garbage receptacles on the street corners.
The city is incredibly bicycle friendly, and it might even seem that cyclists get priority on the roads. Unlike many metropolitan centres, Portland motorists are very accommodating. It's estimated that at least 7 percent of their population commute to work by bicycle, one of the highest numbers of cycling commuters in all the U.S.
There are over 315 miles of developed bike-ways, plus both designated bike and skateboard lanes. They also currently boast a fare-free zone for their public transit system, which dramatically reduces traffic into the city's downtown core. Seems everyone walks or cycles in Portland, including unicyclists and dogs, whose owners have bikes custom-made with pet-carriers. Very cool. Although I didn't cycle, I did take public transit and was amazed at how easy it was to get around the city in a short amount of time.
Considering that greenhouse gases that contribute to global warming come to a large extent from fossil-fuel-based transportation, the initiatives Portland has implemented to both reduce or eliminate hydrocarbons, is extremely impressive. Through a grant with the Climate Trust, Portland has committed to re-timing traffic lights to reduce fuel consumption. Traffic-signal optimization studies traffic patterns and re-calibrates signals to minimize the amount of time cars spend idling and accelerating. "Now that would be incredible here." I think each time I drive around town where traffic lights seem to be timed exactly opposite to that, creating ongoing stop and start gridlock.
This initiative alone is calculated to have already cut fuel consumption in Portland by 1.75 million gallons, which is equal to more than a 15,000 ton reduction in CO2 emissions. Other cities would certainly do well to study and implement their model. I got to experience this smooth traffic flow first hand, as I hopped on and off the city streetcars that post real-time arrivals that are spot on to the minute.
The city also has "smart" parking meters which are solar powered, accept credit cards and stand one per block. Interesting that Portland is also the birthplace of car-sharing in the U.S. Their Flexcar members have access to a fleet of vehicles that are located throughout the metro area, with every Flexcar replacing an estimated six cars on the road.
Everything about Portland in fact, is delightfully green and makes for the perfect place to have an eco-friendly vacation, too. Their Light Rail and Streetcar system continues to expand, making it both easy and esthetically pleasing to travel the city. Where else can you travel from the airport to the heart of the city on Light Rail and only pay $2.50?
Portland values beauty too. The evidence is everywhere. From their cobbled and richly textured streets, to their visually lovely bus shelters. Plants flourish and trees abound, creating gentle shade. It was fun to walk the twelve South Park Blocks stretching through the heart of downtown Portland, to see how each is unique and features its own interesting artwork.
The downtown waterfront area, home to the 40-mile loop trail system, is also a favourite place for jogging, bicycling and walking, as the trail weaves for miles along the Willamette River. As I sat quietly in a beautiful lush waterfront park, I was grateful to have a chance encounter with an engaging downtown parks horticulturist, who gave me lots of interesting information about the city and its horticulture history.
One thing that was a must see for me was the historic International Rose Test Garden in Washington Park. A little bit of heaven and without doubt, an absolute highlight. Founded in 1917, the garden is the oldest official continuously operated public rose test garden in the United States. With over 500 varieties, mostly in full bloom when I visited, the beauty of this garden is absolutely exquisite. The range of colors and fragrances was breathtaking.
Just across the street, I found serenity and calm in the Japanese Garden, where my very quiet and peaceful walk offered another wonderful way to commune with nature. A lovely stone Jizo (a bodhisattva or enlightened being) accompanied me home from the garden's shop, as he is a protector of travelers. A gentle reminder to me of my desire to continue traveling to places that call to me.
For a confirmed book lover like myself, visiting the bustling Powell's - City of Books on Burnside, was another great reminder of how many people still love to browse and buy real books. Approximately 3000 people walk in and buy something every day. Offering new, used and out-of-print books on the same shelves, this location fills a complete city block, (at 68,000 square feet, it's the largest bookstore in the world) and represents the ultimate in recycling! And did I mention that Portland (all of Oregon actually) is a sales tax-free zone!
There are so many things that stayed with me from my visit to Portland, I sense there's much more for me to explore there. So, until next year when I'll return for the World Domination Summit 2013, I'll hold these memories and continue to spread the word about what an incredible place Portland is to visit.
On a final note...it's truly amazing when you visit somewhere you've wanted to see and find you are even more impressed and touched by it than you could have ever imagined.
Where have you visited that you absolutely can't wait to return to?
Visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com]]>Bravo, Athletes! Here's What I Learned Watching Youtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.17689032012-08-13T00:36:04-04:002012-10-12T05:12:31-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
My curiosity had me ask over and over again why an individual chose his or her particular sport, and what passion and drive moved them from a simple love of a sport to become an Olympic athlete? It's a question perhaps without one absolute answer.
This questioning is probably due to the fact that when I was young, I ran the other way (actually not really ran, more like cowered and hid in the corner) whenever the word sports or physical activity was mentioned. I actually convinced my mother, (who had spent her youth as a consummate athlete), on numerous occasions to write me notes to take to my public school Phys Ed teacher asking her to excuse me from class.
My fear and terror of anything to do with equipment, especially the balance beam or pummel horse, was pretty monumental. And ropes, yes ropes were especially terrifying in gym class when you had to climb them. I even had nightmares in university that I would fail my year if I did not complete the compulsory physical education class. Kind of unusual, as I was a business/marketing major, so I have no idea where a nightmare like that would come from.
So as I watched each of the various sports at the Olympics I kept asking myself, "Why did they choose that sport over another?" Why running or sprinting and not diving?" It seemed to fascinate me and had me fully engaged, watching with intrigued observation. I somehow couldn't get enough.
We learned that Russian pole vaulter Yelena Isinbayeva was training to be a gymnast, but when she grew too tall, she had to switch and moved to pole vaulting. I kind of get that, as flying through the air does sound somewhat appealing to me.
Then there is the phenomena named Michael Phelps, who reportedly took to the pool, partly because of influence by his two older sisters and partly as an outlet for his excess energy. Imagine the hours and hours of training required to create this unrivaled best-in the-world champion! At a taller than average swimmer height of 6'4", he has excelled in the pool like no other athlete in history. Phelps is so great that he has dominated the last three straight Olympics, winning a total of 22 medals, with the International Olympic Committee creating a special award for him: "Greatest Olympian of All Time."
And talking about height, Usain Bolt, measuring in at 6'5" is also a most unlikely candidate to become a top sprinter. His Olympic setting record of back-to-back gold medals in both the 100 and 200 metres, just might make him the most extraordinary sprinter in track-and-field history.
And not only because he's so fast, but because he's so big. A Journal of Sports, Science and Medicine study, found that "world champion sprinters ranged between 5-foot-9 at the low end to 6-foot-3 at the absolute max." And then there is the now legendary Usain Bolt. Defying what should be possible.
This idea of defying what should be possible, is a big theme for me. I believe that we do live in a world of unlimited possibilities, so that's why a favourite for me was South African sprinter Oscar Pistorius. Nicknamed the "blade runner" or "the fastest man on no legs," because of the prosthetic carbon fibre limbs he runs with, he made history for being the first double amputee to be granted the right to run along side able-bodied athletes. His drive and dedication to achieve his dream has been inspirational to the world, but also proved to me that almost anything is possible. Actually take out the word almost...anything is possible.
I've also been curious if innate talent is at the root of the decision as to which sport an individual chooses to pursue. Are great athletes born or are they nurtured and made? I've read repeatedly that it isn't necessarily that certain people are gifted and just naturally excel in a particular area. It seems this rule of 10,000 hours keeps popping up as a standard for what is needed to become an expert, or to master not only a sport, but any pursuit one goes after in life.
I'd read about this in Malcolm Gladwell's Outliers and also heard about this 10,000 hour or ten-year rule being explained in Learning from Wonderful Lives by Nick Baylis. Simply put: the 10,000 hour rule is the idea that it takes approximately 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to master a skill.
For instance, it would take 10 years of practicing three hours a day to become a master in your subject. It would take approximately five years of full-time employment to become proficient in your field.
Although this might sound overwhelming, simply work out how many hours you may have already invested and calculate how many more you need to put in before you reach 10,000. In the area of mental gymnastics, I would venture to say that I have achieved expert status, having deliberately practiced (thinking that is) most of my life.
Apparently the key word is deliberate. In a CNN money piece, writer Geoffrey Colvin states, "It's activity that's explicitly intended to improve performance, that reaches for objectives just beyond one's level of competence, provides feedback on results and involves high levels of repetition." The on going research conclusion is that "nobody is great without work. It's nice to believe that if you find the field where you're naturally gifted, you'll be great from day one, but it doesn't happen. There's no evidence of high-level performance without experience or practice."
It's indeed a very interesting topic and personally, I'd like to believe that a passionate interest, plus natural talent and the drive to put in the required practice, are all equally important pieces of the success puzzle. Someday, I'd love to interview top athletes to find what the impetus was that led them to choose the particular sport in which they excel. How do they see that natural ability fueled their passion, leading them to invest the time to truly champion their chosen sport.
What I learned, or more accurately confirmed, by watching the Olympics, is something I truly believe: all things are possible. With a goal and a dream, hard work, plus a little bit of unexplained magic thrown into the mix, you truly can achieve anything. Although I've never really doubted it, and watching the 2012 Summer Olympic Games was certainly an exhilarating way to reaffirm it.
Congratulations not only to those who won medals, but to all the athletes who made it to the Olympics and had the chance to live a little bit of their own personal dream. From an admitted non-athlete, with the utmost respect, I personally thank-you all.
Where have you defied what should be possible?
visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com]]>What the Akashic Records Can Teach Youtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.17113352012-08-05T00:00:53-04:002012-10-04T05:12:10-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/Out on a Limb, Shirley MacLaine's 1983 autobiographical accounts of her own spiritual journey. My quest has led me down many revealing avenues, exploring so many possibilities, that they are far too numerous to even begin to list. It seems fitting that at this point in my journey, I re-found Shirley (though she was never really lost to me), by way of her latest book, I'm Over All That. I know how far I've come, there has really been no turning back for me, so it was with great anticipation that I sat down to read her stories and to see where the last three decades have led her.
She never pulls any punches, always saying exactly what she thinks and feels. The book has no index, so not knowing what to expect next, I was curious when I got to the chapter "Will We Ever Get Over the Akashic Records?" I dove in with open enthusiasm, as I've personally known about the Akashic Records for many years.
Also referred to as The Book of Life, references to them go back to antiquity. They are non-denominational and have no ties to any religion or church. Those who believe in them claim they were used by ancient peoples around the world, including Indians, Tibetans, Egyptians, Persians, Greeks, Hebrews, Christians and Mayans. The belief was that there was some sort of celestial tablets that existed containing both the history of mankind, along with all spiritual information. Even the Bible mentions these records as The Book of Life in both the Old and New Testaments.
The Akashic Records are, simply put, the knowledge of all things. Akasha is the Sanskrit word for sky, space or aether. They are defined as the primordial source energy that is imprinted by each soul as it travels on its journey from inception to the present moment. Each person also has their own record of their soul's journey -- all past, present and future information is recorded there. Call it your individual personal library of your soul's journey. Like silly putty, it is imprinted with everything. Intriguing idea.
Everything that has ever occurred is recorded; each thought, word, action, feeling and intent of every person. Like a huge cosmic world wide web that has existed since the creation of the universe, each of us has our own etheric webpage. When accessed, it can act as a guide, helping to clear karma, contracts and vows and allowing us to create an unlimited future by unblocking areas that might unconsciously be holding us back .
Respected scientist and philosopher Ervin Laszlo referred to them as the "A-Field" in his book, Science and the Akashic Field: An Integral Theory of Everything. He refers to Akasha Think, as a possible new way (which is really an ancient way) of thinking, that might unite us as we move into our collective future.
Some people access them through doing a past life regression. It's possible an experience my daughter Lani and I had many years ago might in fact have been us entering our Akashic Records simultaneously. At the time, our house had been burglarized and one day, a few weeks later, my young daughter said to me, "sometimes I think you're a burglar with my mommy's face on." It was a strange comment coming from a seven-year-old, so I tried to reassure her I wasn't. But her insistence continued. We decided to do a guided past life regression and all saw the same scene from a previous life, where in fact I was a burglar and had frightened a sleeping child, who my daughter was in that lifetime. Her fear and trauma were diffused and cleared. Interesting.
Personally, I'm fortunate that my friend Lisa Barnett is a certified Akashic Record teacher and consultant, so I have my own guide who leads me into my records. We've done numerous readings which have helped to clarify many areas of my life. After giving her permission and saying your full legal name, she uses a sacred 50-year-old prayer brought forth from the Mayans and opens your personal records. It's that easy to do.
Now you are ready to ask any and all pressing questions and receive direction from the Lords, Masters and Teachers. The Dalai Lama has referred to those that govern and protect the Records as a group of nonphysical light beings called Lords of the Records. Although I haven't done it myself yet, Lisa does teach how to access your own records, which is the way Shirley MacLaine writes that she works with them.
The list of well-knowns who have claimed to consciously use the Akashic Records includes Alice Bailey, Nostradamus, Rudolph Steiner and Edgar Cayce. Cayce, himself a Christian, when asked in an interview, stated that the Akashic Records and God's Book of Life were one and the same.
Imagine the possibilities that accessing your own records can have for you! You're free to ask about virtually anything. Once opened, you can understand and clear past karmic energy that might be creating any current life blocks and stopping you from moving forward. From love and relationships, abundance and money, to health or career; if there's something you're curious to know about, ask and you shall receive an answer. I had my own recurring money issue that kept coming up, and in a session with Lisa, we identified where it originated and I do believe, cleared it forever. What a relief, as it was long overdue for me to release it.
Although these ideas might be new for some, and fodder for non-believers, even Hollywood has included the Akashic Record theme in films. Think of Albert Brooks in Defending Your Life or Kirk Douglas in Illusion. And most recently, The Adjustment Bureau with Matt Damon and Emily Blunt.
So, I'll leave you with a final thought from Ms. MacLaine's book that to me, sums it all up. In referring to the Dalai Lama she says, "I find it fascinating that his beliefs in the soul's journey through time (reincarnation) never elicit cynicism or derision, but that same belief from a Westerner who works in show business elicits derisive smirks. Maybe it's only a matter of wardrobe."
Maybe for some, but I'm definitely a believer, regardless of the wardrobe. Are you? Interested in hearing your thoughts on reincarnation, karma and the Akashic Records.]]>How do You Live a Remarkable Life in a Conventional World?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.16746922012-07-23T15:13:29-04:002012-09-22T05:12:05-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
Alarm bells went off in my head, as I'm committed to protect my safety and well-being by avoiding these scanners at all costs. (I've checked out the research and frankly, I prefer to protect my DNA whenever possible). I carefully watched as my turn inched closer. No-one was escaping the scan and everyone seemed to be willing to comply.
Arriving at the first officer, I announced that I'd prefer not to walk through the scanner and would be perfectly happy to have a manual body check. The second security officer loudly broadcast, "We have an opt-out." I probably shouldn't have, but I smiled. Mostly to myself. Opt-out. Perfect description of my entire week spent in Portland, if not much of my life actually. I was prepared to embrace the moniker and wear it well.
Visiting Portland has been a long held dream, so I'd jumped in feet first when I was fortunate enough to get one of 1,000 tickets being offered to the second annual World Domination Summit, the brainchild of author and uber world travel hacker, Chris Guillebeau. His book, The Art of Non-Conformity, had spoken loudly to all my own instincts of being true to myself, living an unconventional life and opting out, even if that meant living a life that didn't quite conform. Living a life that often had me turning left when everyone else seemed to be going right.
Unsure of what might happen at a gathering whose theme centered around the question "How do you live a remarkable life in a conventional world?", my curiosity had me say "yes" and take the plunge.
And for my time in Portland, I continually chose to opt-out. From traveling there alone knowing no one in advance (a big step outside my own comfort zone), to riding public transit which is so accessible and free in the core of the city (I rarely take public transit in Toronto), I was opting to try things that might be a bit uncomfortable, to stretch myself even if it was in small ways.
As an extroverted introvert, I found it easy to talk to everyone in Portland and especially at WDS, where the energy was very alive and open. Although I chose to stay somewhat to myself, I trusted that whomever I was supposed to connect with, was exactly who I would meet.
It continued to fascinate me that people of all ages and stages in life, from all over the world, had chosen to converge in Portland for this event and more often than not, they all were as introverted and shy as I am. Or perhaps I only met fellow introverts to engage in stimulating conversations with!
The opening speaker, Brené Brown, talked about vulnerability and was both powerful and funny, while showing us why being "cool" closes us off from true emotional connection. If you haven't watched her incredible TED talk, which has had over five million views, I can only say that her message strikes a truly universal chord. Her humour and sensitivity were touching and she ended by putting us all on the spot, asking us to be oh-so-uncool and join in a group sing of Don't Stop Believin'. This showed me that others had chosen to be here for the same reason I had. To find a tribe of like-minded people and to feel that somehow we belonged. We were all in our own individual ways, opt-outers.
So what do one thousand opt-outers do for a weekend together? We inspire and uplift and support each other. We continued to hear throughout the weekend that ideas and inspiration alone mean little, without action. We also heard from many inspiring people who had created an enormous impact in the world from a simple desire to do better and be better, by being harbingers of service on a planet that has no shortage of causes.
It was a weekend of generosity of spirit by all the speakers, by the volunteers and by all of us who attended. It was a weekend of serving each other in many ways; of being available, of sharing, of being vulnerable to being seen for who we are. No masks. No suits of armor.
Perhaps for me, the most generous and authentic act came from Chris Guillebeau himself. A soft-spoken, gentle and humble spirit, he closed the event in an almost unbelievable way. At this totally non-commercial, no-sponsor, no-ad event, no-one is selling anything ever, throughout the entire weekend. A tribute to his vision and authenticity.
Chris took center stage and began a story, telling us how this year WDS had turned a small profit. Nice. He went on to tell us that an anonymous donor had chosen to give a substantial sum of money to the event. Wow. Substantial enough that it equated to $100 per attendee actually. Wow again. He went on to explain that they had thought long and hard about what to do with it.
My first thought was that he would donate it to Scott Harrison's incredible organization, charity water, as not only was he a keynote speaker, but was a shining example of how one person can turn their life around, moving from a self-serving life to one of selfless serving.
Chris went on. No, they had decided something much different than this. Chris believes in empowering people. His latest book The $100 Startup (which we had already been given in our welcome bags) tells inspiring stories of people who, armed with an idea or dream, often no plan and a small amount of money, started something that became a personal adventure, while being of service to the world.
By this time, the crowd was in captivated suspense. What was Chris going to do with the money? In an act of empowering generosity, he opted out of keeping the money or making a decision on all our behalves. Instead, he was giving each of us a $100 bill with very simple instructions. To go out and do something, start something that would make a difference. The room was buzzing. For a moment I wondered if I'd heard him correctly. He was giving this money back to us? Empowering all 1,000 of us to make our own choice?
In all my years and all the events I've attended, this stands out as a first. An extraordinarily authentic act by someone who walks and talks his truth. I left unsure of what to do; one large donation or small acts? My first inspiration struck as I walked around downtown Portland. I chose to randomly give small amounts of money to street musicians and homeless or hungry people. Helping someone with no home or food, strikes a personal chord with me. That was my place to start.
In reflecting on the themes of the event, community, adventure and service, I see how they all resonate deeply with me. They confirm that by opting out of following a conventional path and aiming for a remarkable life, we have the opportunity to shift and create new paradigms.
With my pat down finished, I walked towards my departure gate, remembering Brené Brown's message about embracing uncertainty and that each of us belongs here. Although I have no idea what is coming towards me, I am happy to face it as a committed opt-out.
I'm willing to take a stand for who I am, and what I believe in, continuing to create conversations that just might encourage others to step out of their own comfort zones and join the growing army of us opt-outs who are determined to make a difference by being of service in as many ways as we can.
Where do you choose to opt-out in your life?
Visit me at: beverleygolden.com]]>The Powerful Women of Peru Healed Metag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.15502442012-05-29T14:59:11-04:002012-07-29T05:12:04-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
The direness of my situation was confirmed by the team of medical doctors who at one point could only suggest, "perhaps you should pray." They were very clear that I'd have to alter my lifestyle dramatically and they emphatically told me I would never be able to travel again. The harsh reality hit home when I stood, almost naked, in front of their full-length mirror, wondering where my body had gone.
After three and a half weeks, I flew back across the ocean, arriving home no better than when I'd left. The complexity of my condition remained a mystery. Physically I looked frightening, but I knew that I'd have to rally from deep within me, my inextinguishable determination to live.
So, this year, when I was invited to join World Neighbors on a physically challenging trip to visit the forgotten people in the poorest regions of Peru, I admit, I was very hesitant. Then I realized I was being offered an opportunity to test my physical resilience, almost 10 years to the day after literally being unable to even walk up a short flight of stairs. The only answer was "Yes." Always my philosophy: Say Yes to Life.
The trip demanded more of me than I thought I was capable of. Cold nights in high altitudes without heat or hot water. Hours of driving on what I came to call "non-roads." Soon the luxuries we take for granted in North America were longed-for distant memories. I slept in layers of clothes and developed a new gratitude for all I was blessed with, including fleece pants and a jacket, which became my comfort. I could write extensively about the challenges, but they soon took a back seat to the real story.
The story of the poorest people of Peru, who although "poor" by our lifestyle standards, have an incredible richness of spirit, with sincere love and commitment to community. I discovered that World Neighbors uses a methodology that is somewhat unique, working with the community to understand their specific needs. They don't give handouts or decide what is best for the people.
In Peru, they work with a savings and credit model and each person must match the credit offered...50/50. No exceptions. Even a very small initial credit can foster confidence and as the recipient thrives and pays back the credit or loan, they soon apply for larger credits to expand and enrich their lives.
One of the things that struck me was how the women of even the smallest communities, find a personal sense of empowerment. In a society that would be considered patriarchal by nature, we found women with equal status and often men declared that their wives were equal decision makers in all aspects of their lives. Gender equity, which we might take for granted, is one of World Neighbors focuses in all 45 countries they work in.
Often they go to the end of the road, where no one else offers help. It reminded me of being metaphorically at the end of the road and how the smallest glimmer of hope kept me going in my most critical of times. World Neighbors offers hope to what I'd call the lost people of Peru. Their work is done in the forgotten communities, where they form community committees, working with them for eight to 12 years, supporting and educating until the community is self-sufficient. Long-term solutions, not short-term fixes. So much of my long journey back to health, which took almost nine years, was in fact about the very same thing.
Economist Esther Duflo of M.I.T., who studies poverty, found that often anti-poverty programs "go beyond the direct impact of the resources they provide." It is the injection of optimism that dramatically improves both the mental and physical health of recipients. Her studies confirmed that it is an absence of hope that contributes to keeping people trapped in their poverty.
This was very clear to me in Peru. Many of the people had fled their homes during the 1990s rebel uprising, and felt hopeless on returning to virtually nothing. As World Neighbors offered hope and built trust, communities soon began to thrive again. This was true from the smallest of communities of 19 families, to the largest of 1200. As I discovered from my own personal experience, hope is a powerful fuel, which drives the human spirit.
The theme continued to be communities built on co-operation, not competition. I remembered hearing author-speaker Gregg Braden, talk about 400 peer-reviewed scientific studies that explored what level of competition created the maximum results. The findings: Zero. Said Braden, "Darwinian evolution doesn't work. Although "survival of the fittest" has always been accepted as the standard for biological behavior, we are more inclined toward peace than war, more wired for co-operative existence and mutual aid than competition." And this is what I saw in all the villages we visited. Everyone had the chance to flourish, with opportunities for each and every person. We met women doing a wide variety of work: from raising guinea pigs (the Peruvian national delicacy) and using the manure to enrich their crops, to women expressing their artistic souls, using their talents weaving exquisite blankets and sweaters.
An absolute stand out for me, was Candelerea, a humble, yet brave woman, who was uncomfortable about having her picture taken, as she had not dressed up for the occasion. Yes, women are women everywhere! She was one of the original ten on her community committee, the only woman. I saw her light up like her name, when she proudly told us that she was currently on her fifth loan and with this help, had been able to send two of her children to university (previously unheard of), one studying to be a teacher and the other an accountant. She explained why the World Neighbors system works. "It requires the participant to match the loan, it keeps the recipient motivated and interested to the make the effort to repay the loan. And their contribution then helps the community as well."
This for me, is the real joy I witnessed in Peru. The journey was challenging and tested my resilience. These people must rely on their resilience every single day. They are people who have little, yet appreciate everything. It confirmed for me that universally, women all have the same dreams and hopes. To be better. To see their children have more than they do. Their hearts are with their communities. They support each other. They encourage each other. What World Neighbors offers is hope and support. They understand the people they are helping because they are the people.
A recent piece in the New York Times,"The Campaign Against Women," caught my eye and I read it with interest. The piece talks about women's rights being attacked by the Republicans on Capital Hill. It made me realize that the heart and soul of women is not about politics or legislation. My trip to Peru confirmed for me that real power comes from within. It is born of spirit. We are entering a time in our own history, I believe, where the feminine energy is rising. The power, the fire that lives in us all, cannot be extinguished.
And as so often happens when I'm writing, something shows up that perfectly fits. This Gaping Void by Hugh MacLeod had me smiling.
Subject line: Rock n' Roll. The message succinctly says it all.
"One of the great tragedies of life, and you'll find it deeply embedded in every major world religion and mythology is to know that the power, the life spirit, is within you, and yet you choose to ignore it.
Call it rock n' roll. Call it the voice of God. Call it anything else.Only you as an individual can decide to awaken it.
It's a decision only you can make.
And thank goodness for that...."
Thank you to World Neighbors and the people of Peru for their inextinguishable spirits.]]>7 New Things I Learned This Weektag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.13950672012-04-02T14:25:48-04:002012-06-02T05:12:01-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
Generally, if you ask me what I consider fun, I'd say "learning something new." Then I'd smile. Not what others might consider their way of having fun. Being Aquarian, an air sign, I love to bring ideas down to earth, to share with others. So when I felt overwhelmed, I stopped to look at what stood out, picking the seven most interesting and fun things I actually heard or learned about this week, also making note of how they showed up for me.
The first, was all about books. In my piece on my love of bookstores, I openly declared that I adore real books and don't enjoy reading them online. Although I'm apparently in the minority, I was thrilled to learn about two projects that are determined to honour and preserve the printed book.
The first story was about a modern day "Noah", Brewster Kahle, who personally has invested $3 million to buy and operate a real book repository. "We want to collect one copy of every book. You can never tell what is going to paint the portrait of a culture," Kahle told the New York Times. Each week, 20,000 new volumes arrive, many of them donations from libraries and universities delighted to find a home for material that no longer has a place in the Internet age. "Wow" I thought. "How incredible that someone would undertake such a monumental task." It left me smiling and definitely wanting to pass it on.
Then I heard about a small individual project started three years ago in Wisconsin, by Todd Bol. Called Little Free Library, today it has grown to include locations in at least 28 states and six countries including Canada, Australia and Afghanistan, with people from more than a dozen other countries expressing interest, according to Bol. The premise: take a book, return a book. What a simple, yet exceptional way, to engage people and contribute to building community. Both of these stories came to me via the Internet from emails. Glad I clicked on them.
Second thing I found really interesting, was revealed in a face-to-face conversation - my all time favourite way of communicating - by a young man I'd just met, who himself had literally just heard about this on the radio. A study by German researchers discovered that when people glanced at the colour green for two seconds before doing a creative task, it actually boosted their creative output in comparison to briefly looking at other colours, like white, grey, red, and blue. As someone involved in all kinds of creative undertakings, I was fascinated by this new bit of colour information. As I write, I'm trying it out by looking at a wonderful green elephant plant.
Number three came in one of my favourite daily emails, Gaping Void, with a tongue-in-cheek look at how we don't really talk to each other anymore. The stats are pretty wild. As author Hugh MacLeod wrote, "Truth is we live in a world dominated by mobile phones - there are actually more phones than there are people in the U.S. - yet we barely speak to each other anymore." Really? More cell phones than people in the U.S.! I got the details. According to a piece in the New York Times, there are 327.6 million wireless customer connections, equal to 103.9 percent of the United States population. Honestly, for me this wasn't really that much fun to learn about. I'm with Hugh when he says, "Our phones have become everything but a device to speak into (unless you're one of the iPhoners who talk to Siri). Phone or no phone, we should talk more, don't you think?" I do think.
The fourth actually took me by surprise. Personally, I support many charities and organizations that do amazing humanitarian work around the world and really thought I was well-versed in who was doing what. Then I learned about World Neighbors, who have been building self-sufficient, independent communities for 61 years in over 45 countries around the world, and I had never heard of them! Their current campaign "Stop Saving The World, Start Changing It," is a great opportunity to join a movement that shows the world how to actually bring about lasting changes, not just offer short term aid. They're truly changing the lives of people living all over the globe, all on less than $1 a day. This one arrived compliments of a dear friend who herself had just been introduced to the inspiring work World Neighbors does.
Health and food items are always biggies for me, so this article in a real printed magazine caught my attention and became number five. It's about a condition called fructmal (fructose malabsorption), which is little known, yet makes it difficult to digest fruit sugars or fructose. Yes, this means even healthy fruits like apples, dates, pears, mango or cherries can upset your digestive system. It's associated with tangible symptoms that range from bloating and gas to depression.
Number six I heard about from a friend who saw it on a Sunday morning television show and told me about it over the telephone. (Make mine a landline, of course!) Already included in my piece about old things becoming new again, I liked it so much, here goes again. Old typewriters are making a comeback! Love it! Yes, old-fashioned typewriters are making a comeback, not only with collectors, but with a new generation of users too. "Type-ins" are a new kind of social event for those in their 20s and 30s. "You type so much quicker than you can think on a computer. On a typewriter, you have to think," Brandi Kowalski told the New York Times. She began a vintage typewriter business last April with a partner, and so far they've refurbished and sold more than 70 machines, many to first-time users. Their slogan is perfect: "Unplug and reconnect." And yes, I did find my 1970s portable Smith Corona in its original box in my collectibles-filled basement.
Number seven on the list was a fun one I heard on the radio. It seems there is a new wine on the market called "Hot Flash" created by B.C. winery House of Rose, especially for middle-aged women. Great product name. It caught the attention of the media when Brooke Shields ordered two cases after wrapping up production on her new movie called The Hot Flashes in Louisiana. I don't drink, but I'd love someone to let me know how this one tastes. Apparently it's not only for women, but men too!
I admit, there is so much to learn. It never ends. What interests one person may pass by another without even a glance. Sometimes I wonder how we can possibly continue to keep up with so much information? I can only trust that whatever I need to learn will show up for me at exactly the right time. It always has so far.
In retrospect, I had a really fun week of learning. How was your week? Love to hear something interesting you learned or heard about recently.
Visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com]]>Is Everything Old New Again?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.13866202012-03-30T11:42:45-04:002012-05-30T05:12:01-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
For as long as I can remember, I've been a collector. And, I'm not in the minority, as it seems that collecting is a natural pastime for us human beings. According to Randy O. Frost, professor of psychology at Smith College and author of Stuff: Compulsive Hoarding and the Meaning of Things, "A passion for collecting is a healthy outlet and an activity that keeps people connected to the world around them. But it can become a deadly enterprise when it crosses the line into hoarding."
The numbers are a bit staggering, as according to research reported in a piece in TIME Magazine by Kayla Wembley, "There are between 6 and 15 million hoarders living in the U.S., and some 75 cities now have task forces dedicated specifically toward working with hoarders in their community."
So what are the differences between being a collector vs. being a hoarder? Some people jokingly have referred to my kind of collecting as hoarding, but there are in fact very distinct differences. Both hoarding and collecting involve assigning special value to your possessions, often value that goes beyond the physical characteristics of the object. To remain a healthy collector, however, your collection must not impede or interfere with your ability to function, or the use of the active living areas of your home, according to TLC.
In Passionate Possession: The Formation of Private Collections, University of California anthropologist Marjorie Akin explores why we collect, and reveals that people crave a connection to past memories. Remember those old baseball card collections or marbles you cherished as a kid?
Akin says that another reason people collect is to satisfy personal tastes, show individualism through weird or unusual collections, and to fulfill the need to complete something. The desire to amass wealth and sell items for profit is another reason for collecting.
The thing I've personally discovered about collecting is that a collection is technically never complete.
Take for example my collection of more than 400 elephants, which I talked about in my piece on saving the Toronto Zoo elephants. To me, this has become an incredible aesthetic collection, which I started back in the mid-1970s. Definitely no hoarding here, yet this collection appears to have no end in sight. Others are equally amazed by its beauty and keep wanting to contribute to it by bringing me more. Elephants have arrived from all over the world, in all shapes and sizes, made out of every material imaginable. All well placed and displayed, they add character to my home. I've never tripped over even one.
To be honest, I have collections of all kinds. I like to keep things that have sentimental value to me. Kind of like a human pack rat accumulating memories. Most recently, I put all my 1960s, '70s and '80s fashion magazines up for sale and had one very serious collector show up, only to be disappointed that the magazines were somewhat water damaged and therefore not collectible by his standards. He was kind, but strongly suggested I throw them out. Immediately. Collector that I am, I couldn't bear to recycle them after all these years! Believing that they were valuable to someone, I reworded the ad and voilà, I found a writer/photographer who was delighted to buy these slightly soiled magazines to further her research and feed her lifelong passion, which she was turning into a book on style. I was thrilled they were going to someone who would admire and use them.
Before that, my antique bedroom set sold to a lovely Mennonite couple who are woodworkers and saw the workmanship in the sturdy old, almost impeccable set. The 1970s vintage leather couch and chair went to a great couple who were creating a spare room decorated retro style and were excited to see the solid construction and truly loved its well-worn charm. Maybe it really is true that everything old is new again.
My years of designing jewelry using recycled antique watch parts left me with thousands -- I do mean thousands -- of individual parts that I wanted to go to someone who would appreciate them and actually put them to use. Enter a man studying the lost art of watch repair who got some of the collection, with the rest going to an enthusiastic art teacher who was struck by the incredible beauty of the pieces. She had already bought the thousands of buttons I'd amassed, also during my designing days, to create Native button art with her high school students. Her delight and excitement reminded me of how I always felt when I found new additions to any of my collections.
We do live in a disposable world, but I have always loved the idea of reusing, and recycling as much as possible, reducing my need to always be buying something new. With Earth Day this April 22, the idea of reducing, reusing and recycling becomes top of mind again. As we all are becoming more aware of the need to green our lifestyles, it's now less about talk and more about putting these principles into action. Another way old things find new uses again.
My basement is filled with lots more stuff, I admit it. My friend told me that old-fashioned typewriters are making a comeback and that a store in New York that has been selling and servicing them for 52 years is experiencing a boom. It's the younger generation who are rediscovering the typewriter though, with "type-ins" becoming a new kind of social event. Hmm, come to think of it, I believe I still have my old Smith Corona portable typewriter from the 1970s in its original box and I'm wondering if maybe it's worth something to someone, too. The list probably will never end here. Some things I know I may never give up, like my collection of playbills that goes back to the original Broadway production of Funny Girl with Barbara Streisand.
The bottom line is it's possible to find someone who wants the something that you have. I'm always delighted to find new homes for these items and I've met some incredible people in the process. It's great hearing what my collections are going to be used for in the future. My treasures, are now their treasures, making it just a little bit easier to let go at my end. Could I be making room for something new, some unknown collections of my future? Once a collector always a collector, I guess.
It's always fascinating to hear about other people's collections. What do you or someone you know collect?
Visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com]]>Looking for Love in the Online Dating Worldtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.12665892012-02-10T14:12:14-05:002012-04-11T05:12:01-04:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
Alas, in this month of all things love and romance, I was compelled to sit down and share my stories. Experiences that have me wondering how anyone ever possibly meets someone of integrity on these online sites. The claim from Match.com that one out of five new relationships now start online, was eye-opening. Wow, 20 per cent! Got me thinking that something, so far, is definitely not working for me.
The current site I'm on, (which I discovered while doing research on intimacy), intrigued me and I was curious to take their online test and uncover my dominant personality type. The test was created by author and biological anthropologist Helen Fisher PhD, one of the world's leading experts on sex, love, marriage and dating. On this site, it's all about the chemistry between the four personality types. I was surprised to discover that I'm an explorer, with strong negotiator skills coming in a close second. Everyone I shared this with confirmed they saw me perfectly as an explorer. True to my type, I jumped in, ready to explore.
I've currently been on the site several months and frankly I've have had more conversations with their customer service people than with any prospective matches. The male supervisor, my inside connection, and I have had lively, laugh-out-loud conversations as he continues to encourage me to stick with it. In the last conversation, I actually asked if he was available, as he appears the closest thing to a match that I believe this site will offer me. He laughed. Gotta love a guy who gets my sense of humour!
Recent events finally convinced me that I just had to sit down and tell all. A few days ago I got three close together email interactions from what appeared to be a lovely man, who lives a mere four and a half hour drive from Toronto. Remaining open to possibility, I wouldn't let the distance between us stop me. In his photo, he looked impeccably dressed in a dapper smoking jacket with ascot. Personally I have no interest in a partner who smokes (or wears a smoking jacket), but when I checked out his profile, I was relieved to see that I could safely move forward. He claimed that he never smokes.
His email immediately flattered me and he expressed a keen desire to have a voice-to-voice conversation, suggesting we jump to that ASAP. So far, so good. Less than 12 hours later, I got a notice that once again I was being matched with the same gentleman. Same name, but magically he was now a year younger than he had been the day before. A bit confusing. I wondered if that was something he could teach me how to do, considering I just had a birthday and in a 12-hour period, I actually became a year older. His picture was the same, only now it was a close-up, so the smoking jacket and ascot were less visible. I was happy I hadn't answered the last email and given him my personal contact info.
When I called my trusty, laughing, in-house supervisor, he explained that sometimes this happens. Oh, this crazy world of online dating. I asked, "Wouldn't you at least change your name if you were attempting to get a profile backup?" More laughing from my inside man. The bottom line was that this match was flagged and his profile withdrawn and he immediately tried to create a new profile which was also flagged and removed. I asked if this happens often? Unfortunately, it happens.
Because this wasn't the first time this happened to me, I'm not sure why I was surprised. Back in the very beginning, I was actually excited about a man who appeared to live about 15 minutes from me and whose profile sounded great. Although his wide acceptable age range for potential matches was 18-105, somehow I didn't see the warning flag in that. Some might call me naive.
He emailed me after we expressed mutual interest and perhaps again I should have known something was wrong when he signed his email with a different name than his profile name. Hmm. And, he was actually a really lonely guy on contract in Malaysia. So much for the potential short drive to meet up with him. He too was flagged and pulled from this site. Where are all the real, authentic men? Does this happen to men looking for women too?
They've now sent me many possible matches and only a very few even look remotely interesting to me. Having just read Jane Fonda's new book Primetime, I remembered reading that sometimes you have to go through a lot of matches to find one worth exploring. For me, it feels incredibly time-consuming and two-dimensional. One of my main criteria is that men at least put up a photo. I've been told that many men don't because they are either hiding something (like they're married) or don't want to be judged by how they look. So, what would happen in person?
A recent Business Insider article reported that apparently smiles in online photos are out for men. I wondered why. Men who look away from the camera and don't smile have a much higher chance of getting a response than those who look directly into the camera. Apparently guys who look at the camera get less messages than those who don't, according to OkCupid CEO, Sam Yagan, who guesses the reason is because it's intimidating to women. I don't get that at all, as I personally always go for the smiling man looking directly at me.
The statistics relating to online dating sites are quite staggering. According to Dating Site Reviews, the dating service industry in the United States is projected to be worth $2.1 billion, with an estimated 1,500 dating sites in the U. S. alone. Sounds like a small country of hopeful relationship seekers. Seems any criteria can be a launching point for a dating site. Whether that be age, religion, spiritual beliefs, or your intelligence, there is probably a dating site you can sign on with.
In the United States, there are 54 million singles with 5.5 million of those using dating services. Twenty-five per cent of Canadians have tried online dating with 69 per cent saying they probably wouldn't try them. Sixty-four per cent of online daters say common interests are the most important factor in finding a potential partner online, with 49 per cent reporting it's more about the physical characteristics seen in photos and videos. Online dating sites in the U.S collectively had an amazing 593 million visits in October, 2011.
Not too long ago, a male friend actually suggested I write an article on online dating, after hearing a radio report that women are hiring private detectives to screen and check out perspective matches found on the Internet, as dating sites typically don't engage in any background checks. Hiring a private detective. "Count me out of that," I thought. It seemed absolutely outside my realm of understanding. One thing I do continually hear is that it is imperative to be cautious. Generally trusting by nature, I was curious and wanted to understand where people most often choose to misrepresent themselves.
Catalina L. Toma, an assistant professor in the communication arts department, University of Wisconsin-Madison, investigated how people present themselves and how they judge misrepresentation. For me, the findings were shocking, indicating that about 81 per cent of people misrepresent their height, weight or age in their profiles. The "bright side" conclusion was that people tend to only tell small lies because they may eventually meet in person. My question: In these areas, are any lies actually acceptable?
So, although I'm staying open to being found by an ideal match, I do take a deep breath every time I open another email introducing me to a potential match. I know this way of meeting works for many people. I've heard numerous success stories. At the very least, I see it as a great way for me to do research on human behaviour. As an explorer and curious investigator, it offers a wealth of new personal experiences and potential stories. Maybe even some great new cyber friends in really far away places, too.
What stories do you have of your online dating experiences...whether good, or not so good?
Visit me at: www.beverleygolden.com
]]>Standing for What You Believe intag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.11880382012-01-06T09:44:04-05:002012-03-07T05:12:01-05:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/
I was joining a friend for a pre-New Year's Eve afternoon conversation over tea. I consciously put extra money in the parking ticket machine knowing it might be a long meeting. I took the ticket from the machine, walked back to my car and placed it squarely in view, displaying that I had paid for several hours.
After an interesting and engaging visit, I returned to my car and saw a yellow parking violation slip smack in the middle of my windshield. Frankly, my immediate reaction was surprise and confusion. I'd returned to my car in plenty of time and as I took the violation off my windshield I tried to imagine the "why." Wow, a $30 fine and I'd already paid more than $6 to park! Then I looked at the explanation. The parking voucher I'd purchased was placed upside down on the dashboard of my car. The officer had recorded the ticket number of the voucher, which was all he could see, beside the description of the violation.
I was upset, mostly at myself I realized. I found myself questioning how it happened and then wondering why his system couldn't read the ticket number and confirm how much time I had actually purchased. I immediately weighed my possibilities. I could accept the penalty, pay it in the allotted time and the whole thing would be over. That was the easy thing to do. Hey, it was only $30. But in that moment the part of me that longs for fairness and justice made an agreement with myself to challenge it.
It was the weekend, so I sat with it for a few days. On a windy Monday, I parked in yet another metered area of downtown. I bought a ticket good for three hours, placed it on my dashboard face up, bent over to get something off the floor of my car and when I stood up, the ticket was gone. I searched the car and visually scanned the street, checking to see if the ticket was literally blowing in the wind. The ticket appeared to have disappeared into thin air!
Looking for a meaning in all things, I wondered what Mother Nature was trying to have me see here. I realized the wind plays with parking tickets and now understood, that is most likely what had happened in my upside down violation incident. The wind had flipped the ticket over.
Committed again, I was determined to challenge the system and willing to go to court. I checked online to see if there were any similar reports from other frustrated drivers. Nothing definitive. I had already written on my week's to-do list: Secure a court date to challenge parking ticket. On the third day, I made my way to the midtown parking violation office, parked my car and bought a ticket. (Yes, I made sure it was face up before I left the car this time).
I took what seemed like a long walk to the office, joined the line of other protestors and stood smiling, as I listened to the snippets of stories I was able to hear and imagine. I had no idea what to expect, but it honestly felt good, as I realized that I'm committed to honouring what I believe in. It's that simple. I had taken the necessary action and was prepared for whatever the outcome or consequences.
After not too long, I was called to a half open window, as the previous person was lingering to fill out some paperwork. I approached the window, smiled at the lady and said, "I bet you hear some wild stories here, so here's mine," as I handed her my violation slip and the parking ticket that had been turned upside down. She smiled back and replied, "You should sit where I sit for a couple of hours. You can't imagine the stories I hear."
I smiled and, as a writer, thought what a great story this was just by virtue of itself. Every one of us has a story -- all the time. We spin them, create them, sometimes I realize out of nothing, and we charge them with so much emotion that they often become larger than life.
She acknowledged that I had a valid parking ticket and proceeded to do some administrative type stuff. She told me the police officer had done me a favour. Hmm. Funny how when I first got the violation slip I certainly wouldn't have ever considered it that. Because he had chosen to write the number of the purchased ticket on the violation, he'd confirmed that I actually had one. Apparently, he could have charged me with having no parking ticket at all. I laughed and said, "Then for sure I would have fought it, because I actually did have one."
Instead, the officer literally gave me an invitation. To examine if what I believe in, was strong enough to step in and take action. Would it become yet another story I chose to tell people about, or would I do something about it? I had taken the invitation and danced with it.
I asked her "What happens next?" She said, "That's it." She had pulled the ticket, kept all my paperwork and the matter was closed. No fine and no court date. A moot incident. Just a little bit of my time and a few extra dollars to park and it was over. I thanked her and told her it was a lesson learned.
As I drove home, kind of smiling ear-to-ear I admit, I felt really good. Not because I won or was right, but because I chose to honour what is important to me. I formally thank the police officer for the invitation and of course, Mother Nature for the gentle windy nudges to challenge myself and see what I really am willing to take a stand for.
We all have the opportunity every day to create these possibilities in our lives. To take a stand, commit to something that matters to us and when necessary, to take an action. It is that simple. I'm personally committed to making 2012 a year of standing for all the things I believe in every single day. To be lighter, with less unnecessary drama and fewer overblown stories. To be true and authentic, with both my words and my actions in all areas of my life.
What are you willing to stand for this year? What are you no longer willing to stand for?
Visit me at : Beverleygolden.com]]>Humour and Laughter: Can They Save Your Life?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.9469652011-12-22T15:08:31-05:002011-12-22T15:09:13-05:00Beverley Goldenhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/beverley-golden/Anatomy of an Illness.
After being told he had a life threatening illness with little chance of recovery, he created his own healing programme, incorporating large doses of Vitamin C, and daily bouts of laughter, compliments of old Marx Brothers movies. For me as well, I truly believe that my sense of humour (albeit rather off-beat or quirky at times) just might have saved my life. And more than once.
My father Louis, was an enormously gifted storyteller. There was something in his combination of tone, impeccable timing and expression, coupled with his rich sense of detail, that allowed him to re-tell long and involved comedic pieces. He'd immediately capture the attention of those listening and had them laughing hysterically by the end of each of his stories. Although generally a quiet and gentle man, he had a great sense of humour and really came alive when telling stories. A favourite of his was Myron Cohen, who was a popular storyteller comedian of the day.
My mother Lil has a great sense of humour, but on her own she isn't really funny. She's the kind of listener that my father and I need because they bring laughter to the equation. I'm sure her success at aging gracefully is due in part to her ability to laugh and often.
I'd like to believe I've inherited some of my father's storytelling abilities and sense of humour. For me, the juice, the meat of life is in the stories. People remember stories much more vividly than they remember facts. (1) My stories are simply my personal way of looking at life, observing the world around me and seeing both the idiosyncrasies and absurdities, yet the connectedness we share as human beings.
These are the kind of comedian or storytellers I've always been drawn to as well.
Those who use humour to expose the human condition, through their incredible use of language. George Carlin is an all-time favorite of mine. A brilliant wordsmith. Chris Rock -- I adore him, too. Both observe the world and dare to talk about often taboo topics, like sex, politics, religion and much more. Even Woody Allen movies, at their best, are stories I relate to and always make me laugh.
Somehow, I've always seen the humour in the things happening around me and to me. And at times, in my most dire of situations, I'd make others laugh, shifting the mood or breaking the tension. Yes, I can be a serious person, but I don't stay there too long. Generally, I see something funny in almost everything.
It's fascinating for me to observe what actually makes other people laugh. I recently saw Ellen Degeneres speak live at a women's event and she affirmed that her humour is based on kindness and compassion, not at someone else's expense. This is the kind of humour that appeals to me too. Often my humour is self-deprecating, at my own personal expense, but I'm OK with that if others see the humour and laugh along with me.
My daughter Lani and I share the most incredible and unbelievable bouts of laughter together, sometimes started from some seemingly ridiculous or innocent comment or observation. Often, others have absolutely no idea what we're laughing about, but they start laughing just because our joy is contagious. One of the innocent results of laughter is that you can spread it quickly. And in a tough economy, it's free.
Recently I read about Dr. Madan Kataria, a physician in Mumbai, India who started laughter clubs in 1995 because he saw that laughter can act like "a benevolent virus that can infect individuals, communities and nations." There are over 6,000 laughter clubs in 60 countries around the world now. The premise: small groups of people get together regularly to laugh. Just because. Their goal is thought-free laughter. No setup. No premise. No jokes. The result: pure laughter. As Kataria has said, "When you are playful, you are activating the right side of your brain. The logical brain is a limited brain. The right side is unlimited. You can be anything you want." He sees laughter as a possible path to world peace. I too am on this path.
Neuroscientists have also shown that it is our right brain hemisphere that plays an essential role in understanding and appreciating humour. (2) Thank goodness for this. In my life, I'd say I've rarely met people who have no sense of humour at all and I admit it can be unsettling when I do. Perplexing, to be honest. I wonder what it takes to get through to them? Does anything make them laugh? Since my personal goal is to get at least a small laugh or smile from those I encounter, humorless people mystify me.
Smiling, laughing and humour promote the release of endorphins, which is a very healthy thing indeed. Laughing, like smiling, decreases stress hormones and boosts the immune system. It also has great benefits for the cardiovascular system, as it increases your heart rate, pumping more blood to the internal organs. Laughter can be a natural way to relieve pain. Laughter helps us release tension, much like sneezing or orgasm does. Okay, am I the only one who sees something humorous in this trio?
Laughing, as my daughter and I have found, is a great social activity too. In the same way as storytelling, laughter is more about relationships than about jokes. I've heard that people rarely laugh alone, but I admit that I do. Because laughter is a form of non-verbal communication, it can convey empathy.
Children have been reported to laugh up to 400 times a day, yet adults only 15. As with smiling, kids are far ahead of us adults in their expression of joy. Humour is definitely a transformational tool. Through humour and laughter, we can bring about healing, celebration, love and compassion. Humorist Steve Bhaerman (aka Swami Beyondananda) says that God says we are all funny, but we just don't know it yet.
By laughing at myself, somehow, it has the ability to liberate others. Humour becomes a catalyst. When I was ill, humour was one of the things that helped save my life, over and over again. For sure, it has given me rich stories to share with others. Because people often identify with these stories, I can only hope this brings a little bit of lightness to them or their situation. Perhaps even a bit of hope in possibility.
My philosophy, kind of a motto, is "Hope, humour, life." I'm delighted when people tell me that somehow my humour and stories have brought a smile or laugh to their day. For me, a great sense of humour is a really big turn-on. One of the most attractive things, in fact, that draws me to another person. After all, who would laugh with me otherwise?
What stories do you have of how humour and laughter have saved your life?
References
(1) Pink, Daniel H. A Whole New Mind: Why Right-brainers Will Rule the Future. New York: Riverhead, 2006. Print. pg. 101
(2) Pink, Daniel H. A Whole New Mind: Why Right-brainers Will Rule the Future. New York: Riverhead, 2006. Print. pg.189
