BJ Gallagher2013-06-19T23:28:22-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/index.php?author=bj-gallagherCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for BJ GallagherGood old fashioned elbow grease.Mom's Mind May Be Gone, But Her Heart Still Wants What Her Heart Wantstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.34617652013-06-19T13:36:42-04:002013-06-19T13:36:54-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/
Finally, I decided Mom needed a new windbreaker, a size M to better fit her 135-pound frame. I bought one, took it to her house on my next visit, and while she was napping, I threw her old one in the trash bin. When she awoke, she tried on the new jacket and seemed to like it. But the snap closures were too hard for her frail fingers and she had a hard time putting it on because it wasn't as loose and easy to slip into as the old 2XL had been.
A couple weeks later, I discovered her new jacket folded neatly on the foot of her bed and a stained, worn 2XL was hanging on the hook where her old one had always hung.
"She couldn't have rescued it from the trash," I thought. "The trash men came the very next morning and emptied the bins. Where could this identical old jacket have come from?"
I looked in stepdad's closet and found that his old jacket was gone from its hook. Mom had apparently appropriated it and claimed it for her own. I stared at the stained, soiled thing and pondered whether to toss it.
But then I remembered my friend Anita and her little, white, fluffy dog Tito.
Years ago Anita bought a small stuffed toy monkey for Tito. He loved it. He played with it constantly -- tossing it around, chewing on it, carrying it with him everywhere, and demanding Anita throw it so he could fetch. After several years of heavy-duty play, the little monkey began to fall apart -- until nothing was left but a tangle of fabric infused with dog saliva and dirt. Totally gross.
Anita bought several more dog toys, including a new monkey, but Tito would have none them. He loved his slimy old monkey -- that's all he wanted to play with. Anita humored him -- throwing the thing across the room again and again, so Tito could chase, fetch, and bring it back for her -- to repeat all over again. The mangled monkey became known as "Slimy."
Whenever I'd visit, Tito would run to greet me and I'd say, "Where's your Slimy? Bring me Slimy!" He'd dash down the hall to fetch his beloved toy. We would play fetch until I got bored, then Tito would insist I play some more. My hand was soon covered in dog spittle... the price of having fun with an adorable dog, and somehow not so gross after all.
And now, as I stood in my mother's bedroom staring at the purloined windbreaker, the situation became clear. Mom loves this old, stained, worn-out jacket -- three sizes too big and falling apart. "Slimy," I think to myself, "This jacket is my mother's Slimy." And suddenly it didn't seem so ugly anymore.
For more on Alzheimer's disease, click here. ]]>Yoga Wisdom at Work: Finding Sanity Off the Mat and on the Jobtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32761082013-05-17T15:11:24-04:002013-05-17T15:11:33-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/
With this in mind, I've been eager to talk to Maren and Jamie Showkier about their new book, Yoga Wisdom at Work: Finding Sanity Off the Mat and On the Job (Berrett-Koehler). I'm curious about how yoga wisdom applies to the workplace ... and perhaps to the world, as well.
I love the title of your book. What inspired you to write it?
We have worked in or with corporate America for most of our careers (Jamie as a consultant and Maren as a journalist). When we met and began working together as consultants, Maren was just starting her yoga teacher training. As she went through the program, we had many lengthy conversations about the compatibility between the broad practice of yoga and the foundational principles and philosophies upon which our consulting business is based, which came mostly from Viktor Frankl, Paulo Freire and Martin Heidegger. Totally simpatico!
We are also encouraged by the fact that almost 20 million people in the U.S. do on-the-mat yoga for fitness, stress management and cultivating mindfulness. Many of those people don't realize that the physical practice is only one of Eight Limbs of Yoga -- and we hope this will expand their thinking about what is possible. We are firm in our belief that the principles and practices of yoga can have a transformational effect, helping people find contentment, sanity, service and productivity at work. The emphasis on self-awareness and personal development benefits the practitioner, which in turn benefits the workplace. (Photo courtesy of Yoga Wisdom at Work; used with permission.)
Yoga is exploding in popularity across the U.S. Do you think this trend bodes well for sanity in the workplace, too?
Certainly it has great potential, especially if people are willing to integrate these yoga principles into their daily work lives. The key is to recognize you can practice yoga off the mat. Imagine how much more satisfying and meaningful work would become if people lived out principles such as non-violence, honesty and non-greed at work; if they were dedicated to self-study and mindful of being connected to something larger than themselves. That is what meaningful work is about, right? Making a contribution to something larger than self?
Workplace change is an inside-out process. What we see in organizations are people looking for ways to cope with some difficult and challenging situations at work, and to muster courage to make changes. Practicing yoga principles gives individuals a way to engage the people they work with in a different, more mindful manner. If a critical mass make changes like these, the organization will change. If not, the individual will still find more meaning and purpose at work.
(Photo courtesy Yoga Wisdom at Work; used with permission)
Many spiritual people struggle with living their spirituality in all aspects of life. They meditate, pray, do yoga, attend church, whatever -- but when they go out into their daily lives, they seem to forget. Got any suggestions for such folks?
Great question. Most spiritual people would say they have a "spiritual practice," and implicit in the action of any practice is the struggle to live out their intentions.
One of the most powerful practices for us has been spending time getting clear about our intentions through continually reflecting on questions such as, "Who do I want to be in the world? What can I contribute? What legacy do I want to leave?" Once you have clarity about these things, that becomes your guide to action.
Self-awareness and presence are key. Am I taking the right action at this time based on who I want to be? So the practice is about developing that kind of consciousness and finding ways to keep you connected to your intentions. These can be things such as meditating, or journaling or frequent conversations with others.
Actually, it could be something even simpler than that. One of our friends put a bumper sticker on her car that says "Practice Kindness" as a way of helping her remember to live out that intention. She said when she is tempted to curse or flip off aggressive or rude drivers, remembering that bumper sticker helps her stick to her intention of being compassionate.
Do you see a link between yoga and creativity? Yoga and productivity? Yoga and morale? Yoga and corporate culture?
Well, yes! We could easily connect yoga with all of those things. And there is even research to back some of it up. For instance, the practice of non-attachment is linked to creativity, because you don't get bogged down in thinking there is a "right" answer or one way to accomplish a task. Another example -- productivity is often tied to the idea of "multitasking," which research has shown is impossible and is actually counterproductive. Mindfulness and focus, both important yoga practices, are the antithesis of multi-tasking and produce higher quality results.
The first (yamas) and second (niyamas) limbs are about morality/ethics and personal conduct, and each of them have implications for how you work, being honest, using only what you need, having discipline. Another precept is santosha, or contentment, and this is a practice of recognizing the choices you have in the face of disappointment, and fostering contentment instead of cynicism or resentment. Learning breathing techniques can help people think before they speak, or create energy, or calm down in a high-heat situation.
We've found morale to be a tricky topic in today's workplace. For decades, leaders and managers have been told it's their responsibility to build morale. Organizations have spent millions of dollars disseminating that message, but it doesn't work. Morale is each individual's responsibility, and yoga helps build morale by creating the realization that people are fully responsibility for their life and work.
In yoga, we use the term "namaste" which means "the divine light in me recognizes and honors the divine light in you." Everyone has this light. It's up to each of us to uncover it ... and to look for it in others. All of these practices would have a huge positive impact on morale and corporate culture.
(Photo courtesy Yoga Wisdom at Work; used with permission)
Any idea how many organizations offer yoga classes in the workplace?
We would love to know the actual number, but we do know it's growing. Some just offer or subsidize the physical practice as part of employee wellness programs. Others are starting to create conditions for people doing yoga and meditating at work. Some of the companies that support these practices are Apple, Google, General Mills, Prentice Hall Publishing, Whole Foods and Aetna. Steve Piersanti, the CEO of Berrett-Koehler (our publisher), starts all his meetings with a moment of reflective silence to encourage mindfulness. That is a yoga practice even though he probably wouldn't call it that. I'm sure there are more, and we are so encouraged to see that leaders are recognizing yoga's benefits to employees, and ultimately to their organizations.
How do you see yoga affecting American culture and society?
It has great potential, but it ultimately comes down to whether people choose to practice and how committed they are to honoring the precepts. The practice is invaluable, especially when we stay present to the fact we are all human. We need to be willing to forgive each other for that.
And if people could learn to be truly present, especially in the face of our crazy, fast-paced, noisy technology-obsessed world, what a gift to society that would be! And how much more humane and productive our organizations would be!
Is yoga just a white, upper middle class thing? Talk to me about yoga and diversity in America.
We can see why people would see it that way. Something about Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs probably applies here -- because upper-middle class people aren't struggling to feed, clothe and shelter themselves, which gives them more time and resources to investigate practices such as this. But there is no reason it should be that way, and we see signs of outreach to all kinds of communities, people of all races and ages. We are seeing yoga for special populations, such as the elderly or those in the military or people with disabilities.
Another example: our book launch partner, Namaste Charter School in Chicago, serves kids who come from often difficult, inner-city backgrounds. There are public school systems and colleges across America adding yoga to their physical education programs. Several universities also have yoga as part of a larger curriculum in spirituality. And we know a couple of major yoga organizations have established programs to expose a more diverse population to the benefits of yoga.
Any question I should have asked you but didn't?
In Sanskrit, "yoga" means "union," and the practices are aimed at creating a union with the divine as defined by the individual. This could be a spiritual deity or simply one's higher self. The thing we'd like to stress is that yoga is much more than the latest physical fitness craze.
Yoga is a multi-faceted practice that helps us know ourselves and see the potential in ourselves and others. It gives us a guide for developing potential, which is hugely relevant for the work people do. Many of the practices can be done anywhere, anytime. Lots of people are practicing yoga without even realizing, so developing a conscious yoga practice would be even better -- for the individual, for the workplace, and for the world.
For more information about Maren and Jamie Showkier and Yoga Wisdom at Work visit www.yogawisdomatwork.com]]>Leaders Open Doors for Otherstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.32819842013-05-17T10:08:01-04:002013-05-17T10:08:05-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/ BJ: I love the story behind your new book, "Leaders Open Doors." Would you share it with me again, for the benefit of my readers?
Bill: For over two decades I've been a senior ranking member of the Legion of Leadership Complexifiers (LLC). We're the folks who make our living out of plumbing, parsing, and peddling leadership development. We're well-intentioned, but we end up setting unrealistic expectations about what it means to be a leader. We expect leaders to be bold and calculated, passionate and reasonable, rational and emotional, confident and humble, driven and patient, strategic and tactical, competitive and cooperative, principled and flexible. Of course, it is possible to be all of those things ... if you're God!
It took my five-year old son, Ian, to bring me back to what matters most about leadership. Ian is a pre-schooler at The Asheville Montessori School in Asheville, North Carolina, where we live. Each Monday his teachers pick one person to be the "Class Leader" for the day.
One sunny afternoon Ian came bounding up the stairs proclaiming, "Guess what, Daddy? I got to be the Class Leader today!"
"Really? Class Leader? That's a big deal, little buddy. What did you get to do as the Class Leader?"
With seven simple words, Ian cut through two decades of studying and researching about leadership.
"I got to open doors for people!"
Ian's simple but profound insight helped remind me that leaders are simply creators of opportunity for others: they open doors for people.
In Section II of your book, you explain that there is not just one door that leaders open, but several: Proving Ground Door, Thought-Shifting Door, Door to a Second Chance, Door to Personal Transformation, and my favorite, Door to Your Open Heart. Can you explain each of them briefly?
Good leaders affect who we are. They alter us in some way. The six opportunity doors, as I call them, represent ways that a leader can help lift our standards and, potentially, change our life for the better. These doors are:
THE PROVING GROUND DOOR: Open-door Leaders tap into our deep desire to excel and achieve when they give us opportunities to prove ourselves to ourselves. They give us a shot at performing at a higher level.
THE THOUGHT-SHIFT DOOR: To keep us from being narrow or habitual in our thinking, Open-door Leaders help shift our perspective so we can apply our imagination more fully.
THE DOOR TO A SECOND CHANCE: The best lessons in life and at work are often the results of messing up. But the lessons are lost when our leaders judge or punish us too harshly. Open-door Leaders have a higher tolerance for mistakes, seeing them as great opportunities to learn and grow.
OPENING DOORS FOR OTHERS: Too many leaders replicate themselves when hiring senior executives, or assigning juicy opportunities. Open-door Leaders intentionally go out of their way to reach the people who are least like themselves in order to ensure that everyone has a fair shot.
THE DOOR TO PERSONAL TRANSFORMATION: The well-timed and good-intentioned feedback of an admired leader can change the entire trajectory of one's career. Open-door Leaders are often catalyst figures who bring about our own life and career transformations.
THE DOOR TO YOUR OPEN HEART: Over the course of your career you'll work with a lot of mediocre leaders. Ultimately what differentiates Open-door Leaders is we know (because they actively show) that they care about us and our well-being. Open-door Leaders reveal themselves to us, letting us see their own hardships, vulnerabilities, and human idiosyncrasies. In short, they are "real" with us.
As a diversity consultant, I'm particularly aware of the "closed doors" experiences by millions of women and people of color. I've been frustrated by this problem myself on occasion: White male colleagues open doors of opportunity for each other, but they don't seem to do it for women. Do you have any advice for us? Do we just have to break down walls if our leaders aren't willing to open doors for us? I know you wrote the book for leaders, but what can people who are not yet leaders do to advance their own careers?
Speaking as a middle-aged white male, our exclusion of women (and others) from opportunities has less to do with intentional duplicity and more to do with ignorance and obliviousness. In my case, I hadn't paid hardly any attention to the unique challenges that women face in the workplace until I was asked to speak at a conference of women leaders. I was being asked to deliver my presentation six times over the course of two days! I felt I owed it to the audience to not be ignorant to their challenges. And the more I researched about the unique challenges women face - the subtle and not-so-subtle ways men exclude them - the more interested I became.
I can tell you what wouldn't have caused me to be interested in this issue: somebody wagging a finger in my face. Shaming people into changing usually just results in resentment and defensiveness. I sometimes wonder if the people who are in the best position to illuminate issues of sexism and racism in the white male mind are other white males who've already been illuminated. I do a considerable amount of speaking on 'Courageous Leadership for Women' these days, and I always love it when there are some men in the audience. I'll often ask, "How many of you have daughters?" Those are folks I know I can reach. If not many have daughters, I'll say, "How many of you were born of a woman?"
Any final words of wisdom you'd like to share?
I think we've spent a lot of years being frustrated, disappointed, and disillusioned with our leaders. The whole idea of being a leader has become unattractive. I think it's time to lighten the leadership load and get leadership back to what's most essential: creating opportunities for those whom you are privileged to lead.
Effective leadership isn't about having power over people, it's about doing good for people. My five-year old son Ian had it right. Leadership is about opening doors for others.
For more about Open Door Leadership, visitwww.giantleapconsulting.com]]>Steve Rizzo: Laughing and Learningtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31362232013-04-29T17:54:09-04:002013-04-29T17:54:15-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/
Nobody knows this better than Steve Rizzo, whose new book, Get Your Shift Together, is a wonderful example of edutainment on paper between two hard covers. Rizzo is a former stand-up comedian turned motivational speaker and author who knows better than most the power of words to both entertain and enlighten. I recently had the change to interview Rizzo about his new book and his work in the edutainment business.
BJ: The title of your book reminds me of an old joke about Noah and his ark: Noah has just gotten his marching orders from the Lord and rushes home to tell his wife. As Mrs. Noah listens to her husband's news, her brow furrows. She asks, "Are you sure that's what the Lord said: 'Noah, get your ship together'?"
So Steve, tell me what you mean when you say, "Get Your Shift Together."
Rizzo: Get Your SHIFT together is the essence of my thinking and sense of humor. What makes my message so transferable to others is that it's not threatening. I replace the word "change" - which can be harsh and usually has negative connotations - with the word SHIFT which is more positive. Asking someone to SHIFT their attitude is a lot less challenging then asking them to change their attitude. Yet through SHIFTING, your life does change. (Boy, that's a lot of SHIFT in just a few sentences!)
The examples and stories in my book reveal how the power of SHIFTING your focus and way of thinking can affect your perception of challenging circumstances and even life's tragedies - literally training yourself to become a happier, confident, successful person at work and in life.
BJ: I know a lot of writers from a lot of difference backgrounds, but I don't know any who used to be stand-up comedians. What made you change careers from comic to author and speaker? Or, is it really a change at all?
Well, actually it was more like a SHIFT. Many of my comedy friends ask me why I quit stand-up-comedy. I tell them I didn't quit - I simply made a SHIFT in direction.
Growing up as a child, I acquired many fears and limiting beliefs about myself and the world around me. Unaware, I carried many of those unresolved negative labels and limiting beliefs into my comedy career. As a result, I kept sabotaging opportunities that came my way. I knew I had the talent, and I couldn't understand why I wasn't getting my big break. I eventually figured out that I had a fear of failure AND a fear of success. (Talk about not being able to make up your mind!) So I went on a quest to better myself. I read countless self-help books, went to personal development seminars, and listened to motivational CD's. I was determined to turn my life around.
Through the years, I noticed a major shift taking place within me. I guess you could say I was starting to get my SHIFT together.
Eventually, the entertainment industry (directors and producers of television and movies) were starting to show a lot of interest. But ironically, I was no longer interested in them. I was being called to do something else with my life. This gradual SHIFT that was taking place led me to my true purpose in life, which is to show people how to be happy and successful, regardless of their circumstances. The tools I used to better myself are the same tools I use when I speak to groups around the world.
My quest to overcome the obstacles that were keeping me from the life I truly desired has brought my work full circle. I am truly grateful that I've come to the understanding that I didn't quit stand-up comedy -- I simply let go and yielded to a greater purpose, a new dream.
Okay, I didn't simply let go ... Sometimes I held on with white knuckles in a desperate grip, kicking and screaming! The point is, when I finally did let go, I was free to pursue my true dream - to use humor and the power of positive thinking to help people learn the skills they need to get to a better place at work and in life.
I love your emphasis on "laughing and enjoying your way to success." So much success advice is about hard work, perseverance, and determination -- it all sounds so HARD. Tell me more about the fun stuff.
Many of my clients refer to me as the "Attitude Adjuster." I help people realize not only how to start each day with an unstoppable attitude, but how to enjoy themselves throughout the entire process. There's the important part: "enjoying themselves in the process."
For some reason, enjoyment seems to be something that many people leave by the wayside, especially when change is taking place and the pressure is on to reinvent yourself and achieve new goals. Or when you have tight deadlines and things aren't going exactly as planned. Now more than ever, people are having difficulty balancing their lives and they just don't have time to get everything done. Then the stress becomes overwhelming and self-doubt, anger, uncertainty, fear and a host of other negative emotions turn into dangerous mindsets. People allow enjoyment and their ability to laugh and have fun to deteriorate precisely at the time when it's most helpful to have those qualities.
Studies have shown that those who make conscious choices to enjoy themselves and laugh throughout the day are more creative, productive and resilient to challenging situations. They are more likely to easily find solutions to complex problems. In other words, focusing on your happiness makes you smarter. We need to ask ourselves, "How smart am I?"
Here's the bottom line: No matter who you are or what you are doing, whether you are teaching or learning, if you are enjoying the process and choose to find the laughter -- even in tough times -- the odds are in your favor that you'll achieve the outcome you desire.
What's the single biggest mistake you see people making as they pursue success? Or maybe, the top three to five mistakes?
The biggest mistake that anyone in business or in life can ever make is to put happiness on hold. This is something that many people are guilty of, especially corporate America.
I am constantly amazed by the ways people manage to deny themselves the chance at happiness in the moment. They repeat and internalize negative statements like, "I'll be happy when I achieve my goal," or I'll be happy when I'm able to retire," or "I'll smile and enjoy myself when the weekend gets here." "When I'm appreciated and get the respect I deserve that's when I'll be happy." Do any of these sound familiar?
The point I'm making here is that happiness can only be experienced in the present. There is absolutely no reason why you can't plan for the future, set goals, undergo your daily routine, deal with the unexpected and still make conscious choices to enjoy yourself while doing so. People who consistently enjoy the process not only reap the benefits of achieving their goal, they have a fond appreciation of how they earned it. In my view that is the ultimate success.
It's curious to me that we have laws in place to make sure no one infringes upon our right to happiness, yet we are so often a willing impediment to our own enjoyment of life. The U.S. Constitution guarantees the right to "the pursuit of happiness." Maybe it should read "life, liberty and the happiness of the pursuit."
What do you most want people to learn from your book?
I want them to learn what truly successful, happy and optimistic people know about life. They know they will experience good times and bad times throughout their lives. They have sad days and ecstatic moments. Happy, successful, optimistic people are not exempt from the trials and tribulations of life. In fact, some of the happiest, most successful and optimistic people I know had to overcome unbelievable circumstances to get to where they are today.
What they all have in common is their uncanny way of SHIFTING their focus to a higher part of themselves. They bless the things that life has given them rather than cursing what life hasn't given them, or the unwanted things life is currently throwing at them. They don't ignore these tough times; however, they instinctively know when to SHIFT their mindsets to something more productive. In reality, we all have the power to do this. This is what I call a Power SHIFT in focus.
Thanks, Steve. I enjoyed our conversation enormously. Got any final words for my readers?
Remember, when SHIFT happens, your life changes. So get your SHIFT together. I guess you've had enough of SHIFT by now. I'm sorry sometimes I'm a real SHIFT head. Oh SHIFT I did it again. But seriously folks, may the SHIFT be with you!!!!
For more information about Steve Rizzo and "Get Your Shift Together" visit www.steverizzo.com]]>It's Not My Father's Republican Party Anymoretag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31550052013-04-25T19:05:28-04:002013-04-25T19:05:38-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/
Today, Dad calls himself "a former Republican." He didn't leave his political party -- his party left him. "It's not my Republican party anymore," he says. "It's been hijacked by the Christian Right, and I have to tell you, they scare me more than any Muslim terrorists." Dad is leery of extremists of any stripe, having witnessed firsthand the terrible lengths to which extremists will go in the name of their cause. Muslims, Christians, Jews -- it doesn't matter the religion -- it's the absolutism, it's the "my way or the highway" mentality that worries my father.
Dad was horrified and heartbroken when President George W. Bush started the war in Iraq. "A bad war, a very bad war," Dad said at the time, shaking his head in sadness. He knew the price we would pay in life and limb. "War should always be a last resort," Dad says. "You only go to war after you have tried everything else to resolve the problem. Only after you've exhausted all other options do you resort to war. Even then, you do so reluctantly. War is hell ... you don't want to go there unless you absolutely have to."
Dad was right, of course. Thousands of young American men and women are dead, tens of thousands maimed, and hundreds of thousands emotionally and psychologically traumatized for life. In addition to the human price, there's the enormous financial price tag for that misguided war -- billions of dollars, much of it squandered, wasted, or lost -- and billions more will be spent in years to come as we continue caring for those legions of veterans who will require a lifetime of medical and psychological support. Bush's Folly is America's tragedy. "Bush is the worst President of my lifetime," Dad says, "... probably the worst in American history."
Gallagher Family, 1951: Dad, Mom, and me in Tachikawa, Japan
My father doesn't recognize his party anymore. This is not the party of Eisenhower and Reagan and certainly not the party of Lincoln. Today's Republican party is anti-intellectual, anti-education, anti-government, anti-taxes, anti-reasonable debate and anti-sensible solutions -- it is the party of "no." Today's GOP is not about shared financial responsibility for the greater good -- instead they have adopted "no tax increases" as an article of faith. "It's a religion to them," Dad says, "and you can't argue with religion, because people believe in it no matter what the objective facts are. Decades of economic history have shown that so-called 'trickle-down economics' doesn't work, but the Republicans still believe in it. It's become their religion and you can't reason with true believers."
My father is now a man without a party. It must be hard for Dad, no longer having a political home, no community of intelligent, practical, moderate, civic-minded people with whom to share a common vision, a common goal, and common values. It must be lonely. It must be disheartening. It must feel weird to have your tribe, your team, your political community change so dramatically right before your very eyes. It's as if a herd of intelligent elephants suddenly, inexplicably made a sharp right turn -- with no rhyme or reason -- and stampeded right off the cliff of insanity.
I can feel my father's frustration when we talk politics. He voted for Obama in the last two elections -- not because he necessarily supports everything Obama stands for, but because he respects the president. Dad sees Obama as intelligent, thoughtful, pragmatic, moderate, willing to compromise and work toward practical solutions in an incredibly complex world. Dad sees his former party as having lost its collective mind -- and its soul.
My father is a member of the Greatest Generation. His party used to be known as the Grand Old Party. Both are dying -- but sadly for Dad, it seems his party has predeceased him. R.I.P. GOP.
BJ Gallagher is the author of over two dozen books. Her latest is "The Power of Positive DOING" (Simple Truths).]]>What Would Buddha Do About the Boston Bombing?tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.31017712013-04-17T15:00:21-04:002013-06-17T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/
What does the Buddha think about terrorism? Could spiritual wisdom inform our response to this and future attacks?
We need wisdom in sorting out our feelings and our alternatives in the wake of this most recent terror, and the Buddha's wisdom has certainly stood the test of time. So, what would the Buddha do? In his teachings, we find this answer:
"He insulted me, he beat me, robbed me!"
Think this way and hatred never ends.
"He insulted me, he beat me, robbed me!"
Give this up and in you hatred ends.
Not by hate is hate defeated; hate is
Quenched by love. This is eternal law.
(Dhammapada 3-5)
Conflict, even violence, is a fact of life caused by desire and attachment. So striving to end conflict, while worthy, can never fully succeed. What we can fully control is our response to conflict. When we are attacked, it is natural to want to attack back, but the Buddha urges us to go beyond this simplistic reactivity. If we meet others' attacks with our own attacks, joining in their negative karma, we are simply adding fuel to the fire, and endangering everyone, including ourselves. We have ample evidence of this in the thousands of American lives -- and the million Afghani and Iraqi lives -- lost in our wars of retribution since 9/11. Osama bin Laden and Saddam Hussein are dead, but many Muslims hate us more than ever. Our revenge has come at an uncountable price.
The question is: Can we learn from this past? Or, are we going to succumb to our passions once again, and attack those who perpetrated this violence in Boston?
The Buddha counsels us it is not blood this situation demands; it is compassion. Wise teachers throughout the ages have echoed the Buddha's wisdom: Jesus, Gandhi, Martin Luther King Jr., the current Dalai Lama and many others in many cultures. These leaders have never taught weakness, but they have always taught love, and they have overcome greater foes than both home-grown domestic terrorists and al Qaeda.
Photo: Getty Images. Used with permission.
The Roman poet Virgil wrote "love conquers all." You may believe there are things love is not well-suited to conquer, but love is perfectly suited to conquer hate. Violence, retaliation -- responses currently being advocated by many -- add to the tremendous energy embodied in hatred. Love, on the other hand, takes the energy of hate and redirects it. Hate cannot go beyond itself. It draws its strength from contraction. Love lives to go beyond itself, drawing its strength from expansion. Love can thus comprehend hate, integrating it into something larger. Slowly hate is defeated, as a grain of salt dissolves into the sweetness of a pond.
The Buddhist monk and philosopher Chandrakirti wrote, "We disrespect people sacrificing their possessions for liquor and such. I ask why we respect them for sacrificing themselves in war." Indeed, giving one's life to a war differs very little from giving it to an addiction? In both we choose something over love, over status, over health, even over life itself. It's a bad bargain.
You may object (and the terrorists would agree with you) that war leads to something beyond itself, something greater. But the Buddha would question both war's means and its ends. What has the "war on terror" brought us? We have looked for peace and found war; we have looked for safety and found danger; we have looked for security and found unease.
It may be time to ask what worthy ends are not better achieved through love than through hate. The world needs changing, but not through violence. The world needs infrastructure, hospitals, agriculture, schools. We all have seen this. We need also to see that people who get these things do not unleash terror upon those who give them. There is always another way than violence.
Immediately after 9/11, the Buddha would have called us to unity. He would have called all nations, all religions, to unite against violence, whether by terrorists, or against them. It is not too late. The Buddha calls today, in the wake of the attack in Boston. If the Buddha calls for blood, he calls for blood not shed by others, but given for them.
Is this a profound challenge? Of course! We are just human, as the Buddha knows -- and as he was, too. But harboring hatred because others have hurt us is like taking poison and hoping others will die. We may or may not forgive, but we must let go of revenge, otherwise we become prisoners of our own anger, and of the vicious cycle that is terrorism. As in 2001, so today, we must quench our hate in the waters of love. It's a slow business, but a sweet one.
Franz Metcalf and BJ Gallagher co-wrote this blog post. Their new book is "BEING BUDDHA AT WORK: 108 Ancient Truths on Change, Stress, Money and Success" (Berrett-Koehler).]]>Annie Hart: "I Set Out to Rescue Dogs, But the Dogs Rescued Me"tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30660412013-04-12T11:12:17-04:002013-06-12T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/
One local group - the Bill Foundation - stands out from the crowd, taking on the most desperate, seemingly hopeless dogs you could imagine. And against all odds miracles happen - seriously ill and injured dogs recover, and people with the patience and kindness of saints step forward to take these miracle fur-babies into their homes and hearts.
I wanted to learn more about the Bill Foundation, so I contact Annie Hart, whose postings on Facebook had caught my attention. As we talked, I discovered that her personal story was just as compelling and powerful as that of the animals she works with. She started out to rescue dogs, but in the end they rescued her.
BJ: Tell me about your background, Annie. How did you get into rescuing dogs?
Annie: In the fall of 2010, I was working at a top advertising agency and had recently been appointed a director. I spent my days with true creative geniuses, and it seemed I was living the American Dream.
But it really wasn't. I was miserable. I didn't like the job, and I never saw my husband, James. No amount of money or recognition was making that better.
Then I began to get sick. It started with severe jaw and ear pain and a constant migraine, followed by insomnia, stomach issues, and full-body pain. I had some bizarre weight gain. My personality shifted and I went from being an energetic, forward thinking, happy gal, to a person my husband didn't recognize. I was constantly angry, confused and withdrawn. I found myself crying all the time, without cause and in the middle of important meetings with the top execs at my company. I had always had the memory of an elephant and was able to juggle 50 things at once and suddenly I couldn't remember what day it was.
Things went from bad to worse very fast and I was almost completely non-functioning and at risk of loosing my job. I was a shell of my old self and completely unrecognizable. My husband James intervened and took me in to see my long-time therapist, who took one look at me and told me I had to go on medical leave immediately. I fought him like crazy, but in the end, he and my husband won.
I was so ashamed ... I thought I had lost my mind and didn't want anyone to know. I couldn't stand the idea of looking weak or broken. I made James swear not to tell our families what was going on and it broke his heart to have to hide what he and I were going through. We went into hiding. I still feel awful that I made James suffer that way, but I'm so grateful to have a partner who was willing to make such a sacrifice for me.
I went on medical leave and endured nine months of exhaustive diagnostics and 20 specialists before I got my diagnosis: fibromyalgia and a severe sleep disorder that causes me to wake up over two dozen times an hour! There is no cure, but both can be treated.
BJ: I can only imagine how upset you must have been to get such a serious diagnosis.
Annie: Indeed. I recall sitting in my therapist's office, crying, "Why me?" My husband James and I had been married just two years and this illness was testing both of us on every level - and testing our marriage as well. It all seemed so unfair.
I'll bet anyone would feel that way.
You're probably right, but the pity party got cut short. In the middle of my pity party, my therapist stopped me and said, "No one owes you anything. You are not owed a perfect, healthy life. Anything you get in this world is a gift, so stop thinking you're special just because life has handed you some hurdles. Get over yourself and find a way to live."
My therapist is very wise indeed. He went on to say that it was important for me to try and do something besides lying in bed all day, watching TV and going to doctor's appointments. Even though I had no energy to get out of bed, He said I needed a push. He asked me "if money wasn't an object, I was healthy and I could just do what I loved, what would I do?" I was stumped. No one had ever asked me that before.
What was your answer?
My husband and I talked a lot about this, and the single thing we kept coming back to was my love of dogs. I thought maybe I could help a dog rescue group. Stephanie, a friend and vet tech, introduced me to Jo Forman, the founder of Bill Foundation, that rescues dogs and places them in adoptive families.
When I first met Jo, I felt like I had known her forever. She needed a lot of help at the office. I began by meeting with her twice a week for two hours at a time, but that was all I could handle. Going to a shelter was just too much for me, emotionally and physically.
Then I met a dog named Ralph. Eldad Hagar (of Hope for Paws), is an animal rescuer who is well known for his dramatic and moving rescue videos. Eldad has a very gentle way of capturing dogs, and he had just saved very scared and aggressive street dog named Ralph. I watched the video of Ralph's rescue probably twenty times that first night. I wanted to help and be a part of his story.
What did you do?
I spent time with Ralph where he was being boarded. He behaved like a complete gentleman ... until I turned my back to leave. Then Ralph panicked. He bit my calf, latched hard on and would not let go.
For about ten seconds, I was frozen while someone tried to get him off me. I was left with a deep wound, but what surprised me was that I was not mad. I felt sad for Ralph and that he was so scared about people leaving him. He must have been through a lot.
I felt a deep connection to Ralph. Even though he had fought the very people who were trying to save his life, they didn't give up on him and he was now surrounded with people who loved him and were committed to his well-being. I knew that I too was blessed to have people in my life - my husband and therapist in particular - who didn't give up on me at my sickest point and worked hard to save me.
Ralph showed me what my calling was. I knew that this was what I was meant to do with my life - help dogs like Ralph get the second chance they deserved.
Annie Hart and Ralph (photo courtesy Annie Hart)
That's a powerful experience. How has your life been since Ralph?
I found myself begging to go to the shelter with Jo, and though it was hard, the satisfaction of saving an innocent animal made the hardship worth it.
In July of 2012 I received a plea to rescue a Shih Tzu and her four-day-old puppies from a local city shelter. She was severely matted and struggled to nurse her babies. I called Eldad Hagar and asked him to help make a video of the rescue in an attempt to raise money for Bill Foundation. He told me to just grab my camera and start shooting. So I did, and the video I made went viral - it's been viewed more than two million times worldwide.
Incredible
Not bad for your first video! What happened after that?
In September 2012, I happily accepted the position of executive director for the Bill Foundation. It has been quite a ride - less than a year so far - and I know the journey is just beginning.
My latest rescue dog - a blind girl named Tessa who has hydrocephalus (water on the brain), leaving her unable to walk due to dizziness - has challenged me once again. Trying to rehabilitate Tessa has taken every ounce of energy I have - but she also fills my heart with joy and lights up my days with delight.
I still have fibromyalgia and a severe sleep disorder and must be careful how much I work. I have some bad days when getting out of bed is not an option, but I also have really good days. Knowing that I have countless dogs depending on me means I need to take care of myself - if not for my own sake, for theirs.
I know now that getting sick was a blessing. My body's manifestation of stress pushed me to search for my true calling and happiness. Bill Foundation has given me a second chance at a fulfilling career, and rescuing dogs has filled the void in my heart. I am forever changed. While many people say I am a rescuer of dogs, the truth is that the dogs rescued me.
Annie Hart and several of her rescuers (photo courtesy Annie Hart)
For more information about the Bill Foundation and to support the incredible work they do visitwww.billfoundation.org]]>glassybaby Lights Up the World, One Tea Light at a Timetag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.30409432013-04-11T15:14:19-04:002013-06-11T05:12:02-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/What are those things? I wondered. Rods of colored glass? I couldn't quite tell. Caroline's cryptic caption was just one word: glassybabys.
"What the heck is a glassybaby?" I commented on her photo. Impatient for a reply, I turned to Google -- typed in "glassybaby" and was transported to a gorgeous web site. Ahhh, beautiful blown glass. I smiled as I clicked from page to colorful page. Glass votives in virtually every color in the rainbow -- and then some. Colors with names you won't find on any Pantone chart: Friendship, Wet Dog, Whisper, Root Beer, Dad, Love, Happy Birthday, Seattle Sunset, Wingman, Sand, Surf, Peter Pan, Comfort, Cherish, Dream, and more.
I flipped back to Facebook, where Caroline had posted a second photo: a blurry woman's hand reaching for a glassybaby among a dozen or more glowing with tea lights inside. "Pilgrimage to the glassybaby mother ship," read Caroline's caption.
I couldn't help wondering, Caroline and Maria traveled all the way from California to Seattle to visit a glass blowing place?
The next day, Caroline posted a third photo -- a row of four illuminated beauties -- three soft pastels and one bright orange.
"You bought some?" I typed.
"Just a few," Caroline typed back. "Maria bought 28."
I was shocked. Twenty-eight candles! What on earth could be so special about these little glass candle holders?
So I called glassybaby to find out, and Valerie Waltz was happy to tell me more about the company, the candles, the stories, and the charities.
Valerie: We have a team of 70+ artists creating glassybaby seven days a week at our Seattle studio, producing about 500 a day. It takes four artists and three layers of glass to create each glassybaby -- they are individually hand-made works of art. glassybaby are made in 400+ colors and each with a unique name, like Angel, Joy, Faith, Hope, Believe, Remembrance, Cherish, Comfort, Dream, Gratitude, Heart, Hugs, Peace.
Take me back to the beginning. How did glassybaby start?
It started back in 1998 in Seattle, when the glassybaby founder Lee Rhodes bought a series of glass blowing classes for her husband. Lee was recovering from lung cancer at the time -- her third bout with cancer -- and raising three small children. Her husband came home from one his classes with colorful, glass cups.
One night at dinner, Lee was lighting candles and dropped a tea light into one of the cups. What she saw was magical. The flame danced inside its cozy container, it threw off a warm, wonderful glow that she found very comforting. Lee says the color and light helped her heal and encouraged her to take that "deep breath we all forget to take."
Lee decided to find local glass artist to make more glass cups. She had a mold made and soon had candle holders to give to her friends. Some of them would light their candles for Lee, as they supported her in her healing journey. Others wanted a glassybaby to light a tea light for others who were sick or going through their own battles.
Soon, Lee opened a glassblowing studio and glassybaby was born. That was in 2003.
Lee Rhodes recovering from cancer; photo courtesy glassybaby
I see from your website that you donate money from each of your candles to various charities. Tell me about that.
When Lee was going through chemo, she met many patients who could not afford basic costs like bus fare and groceries -- the costs that are not covered by health insurance -- and she wanted to help. So she started glassybaby with the mission to help cancer patients who could not afford day-to-day needs during treatment. From the very beginning, glassybaby donated money from sales to charities dedicated to helping with those costs. As of March 2013, we've donated more than $1.3 million to charities meeting those needs. We expect to hit the $1.5 million mark in the next couple of months.
Wow, that's impressive! And even more impressive is the caring community you've created around glassbaby. My friend Caroline recently traveled from California to Seattle to visit glassybaby and she told me: "When Maria and I were in the store, many regular customers came in with lists of what they 'needed' for themselves or as gifts. Glassybaby are more than pretty objects. People are attracted -- and then committed."
Word has spread organically -- we hear from people all over the world who have been touched by our handmade product and our mission of giving to help people heal. Lee is touched that glassybaby still means to others what the first glassybaby meant to her when she was sick. Everyone who works at glassybaby is part of that mission. And our stores are in Seattle, but our community is everywhere.
Speaking of stores in Seattle, I understand you are growing and planning to open in California and that Jeff Bezos is an investor.
Yes. In 2008, Jeff Bezos, the Amazon.com founder, came into the studio. Jeff wanted to be part of glassybaby and reached out to Lee. He ended up buying 20 percent of the company.
Even in a down-turned economy, glassybaby has grown 30-40 percent each year since 2009. We are planning to open in San Francisco next. As Lee always says, "The more we grow, the more we give away!"
Thanks for making time to talk to me, Valerie. I'm inspired by what you've shared with me, and by what my friend Caroline says about her experience with glassbaby. I see now that these aren't just candle holders -- they're healing talismans. You've created a unique product and a wonderful company - along with a caring community -- that is, as the glassybaby motto says, truly "one of a kindness."
]]>Kathy Caprino on Women's Ways of Leadingtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28877822013-03-18T18:00:22-04:002013-05-18T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/Lean In, the dearth of women in corporate leadership is back in the news again. Here we are, years after Virginia Slims congratulated professional women, "You've come a long way, baby," it seems we haven't come such a long way after all.
Amidst the lively debate about corporate culture, structural barriers to women's advancement, and what women themselves need to do to advance their careers, this seems like a good time to consult with an expert on women and leadership. Kathy Caprino is the author of Breakdown Breakthrough (Berrett-Koehler), in which she outlines the 12 hidden crises working women face, based on her year-long, nation-wide research study of 100 professional women. Kathy is a leadership coach, keynote speaker and sought-after media expert.
Women leaders have been in the news a lot recently. There seems to be a bit of a brouhaha developing around "frenemies" Sheryl Sandberg and Anne-Marie Slaughter. Sandberg is telling women to "lean in" while Slaughter is saying "we can't have it all ... not all at once, anyway." What's your take on these two women and their points of view?
I'm thrilled that these issues and debates have reached an international audience, and finally, the concepts of work-life integration, women's leadership, gender roles and cultural and organizational change are in the national conversation. I've lived all the challenges Sheryl and Anne-Marie speak and write about -- I've been a corporate vice president as well as a self-employed leadership coach. My take is a bit different from both Sandberg and Slaughter: I incorporate a spiritual perspective that life is most meaningful, joyful and fulfilling when we follow our hearts and spirits in pursuing an authentic path that aligns with our personal values, passions and non-negotiable standards. This is true even when that flies in the face of what the media and other female and male "leaders" tell us we should do. In my view, we suffer when we pursue a path that goes against what we believe. All of it is meaningless -- success, money, fame, power -- if we're not happy in it.
In other words, my advice is to follow the path that speaks to you most. If you long to succeed in this existing corporate competitive career model, then indeed, "lean in" (as Sheryl Sandberg asserts). Or, as Anne-Marie Slaughter suggests, if you think the model is broken, then work to revise it and support the radical changes necessary to pave the way for more women to lead.
If you long instead to launch your own entrepreneurial venture and have done all that's required to understand what this means and what it will demand of you, then move forward and formulate a new business and career model based on your authentic leadership principles and beliefs.
Or, if staying home to raise your children is what you want, then find a way to do it. Watching the new documentary film Makers: Women Who Make America revealed to me (among many things) the mistake we want to avoid -- of making other women wrong and putting them down for their choices.
Marissa Mayer, the new CEO of Yahoo! also made news by changing company policy on telecommuting. Critics have objected to her decision, pointing out that it's especially hard on women and families. Other critics say that people who work remotely (including from home) are more productive. But Mayer's defenders point out that the issue isn't productivity -- it's creativity. And they cite research indicating that creativity and innovation are higher when employees are in the same location where they can interact and spark new ideas with one another. Yahoo! is a company that depends on non-stop innovation. If they don't get better at innovation, the whole company will go under and everyone will be at home ... looking for new jobs. What do you think? What would you do if you were Mayer?
Not knowing Mayer or her specific organizational needs and intentions regarding this move, I was personally disappointed by it because the concept that employees must be in physical proximity at all times with each other to be fully innovative, productive and successful is, in my view, an outdated one. New generations of leaders are going to figure this out better than we have today. Flexibility in the ways we commute, work, communicate, collaborate and innovate is essential if we want to motivate and retain top performers. We need to uncover new ways to help employees be the best they can be while also honoring the fact that individuals have other, equally important priorities to attend to (family, etc.). Leaders will not succeed over the long haul if they force their employees to adhere to the old-fashioned restrictive "face time/full time" model. I believe there are ways to increase innovation and creativity without reverting to a ban on telecommuting. The days of forcing workers to come into the office each day on a full-time basis in order to innovate together successfully are fading fast.
Your area of expertise is women and leadership. What's the current state of leadership opportunities for women in American business today? Are women in government faring any better than women in corporations?
The statistics remain very bleak, and the needle is not moving as it needs to. In all forms of leadership in our country, women are lagging seriously behind. In corporate America, women remain only 16 percent of senior leadership, and in the political arena, the U.S. trails behind much of the world, ranking 90th in the number of women in our national legislature (as of 2010, according to the Women's Campaign Fund). So much needs to change and shift in the U.S. for a pathway to be created for women to ascend to leadership.
Here's my take as to the top six reasons women aren't leading in corporate America: 1) the differences between men and women are not yet well-understood and embraced; 2) whole-self authenticity is still not allowed; 3) life and family priorities clash with extreme work demands; 4) our gender roles have been intractable, meaning that women are still doing the majority of domestic work even when both spouses work full-time, 5) women are still being discriminated against; 6) American society doesn't encourage men to take a step back professionally and support their wives' professional goals; and 7) women have not been personally successful navigating through a model that just doesn't fit.
What needs to change is a myriad of individual, cultural, organization, and global factors, along with busting the myth that women are less ambitious than men. Women are not less ambitious -- it's the cost of ambition that gets in the way -- and what they're ambitious for doesn't fit the existing picture of "success."
I've read that more people work for women-owned companies than all the Fortune 500 put together. If that's still true today, why should women care about what's going on in big corporations at all? Perhaps women should just leave the Fortune 500 to the "boys" and women should just start their own businesses instead. What do you think? Crazy idea?
I believe wholeheartedly that entrepreneurship or solopreneurship is a pathway to success and fulfillment for women. But there are realities that still need to be faced. First, women are still under-earning in the entrepreneurial world. Just because women turn to a new path doesn't mean there aren't critical lessons that need to be learned about how to create the most profitable businesses possible.
However, the entrepreneurial path is not the answer for all women. Many thousands of women want and deserve success in the corporate arena, and are not desirous of launching their own endeavors. It's a completely different journey to launch and build a business than working for someone else, and many don't want to go it alone.
I believe it's vitally important to not only support entrepreneurship but also attempt to revise the deeply challenged existing corporate career model in place today in America. We need a new model that embraces diversity and inclusion so that American business can thrive at the highest level possible. Without women in more equal measures in corporate leadership today, the U.S. will continue to lag and fall behind other countries in terms of innovation, creativity and competition, and financial success. The business case is irrefutably there (see McKinsey's report, for example) supporting the need for diversity in corporate leadership -- if only senior leaders would do what's necessary.
Got any advice for women who are raising daughters and want to prepare their daughters for future success in their careers?
I am blessed to have a beautiful, brilliant daughter in her freshman year in college, and my advice to her is the same I give all young women I meet and coach (and to all parents raising self-reliant, vibrant women). First, it's a myth and terribly misguided notion to believe that you can't be of service in the world as you want to, while also making great money and being happy in all ways doing it. Our culture somehow perpetuates this idea that you'll be poor and miserable if you pursue your passion. That's just dead wrong. How do I know? Because I spend every day in my professional life helping people pursue what they care about, and they're doing just that with amazing success.
For more information about Kathy Caprino and her coaching and consulting work, contact: www.elliacommunications.com ]]>Write a Book to Turbocharge Your Businesstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28495012013-03-14T13:58:03-04:002013-05-14T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/Eighty-one percent of Americans say they want to write and publish a book. That's 200 million people who feel they have a story that would interest and/or help others. Could all these people be right? I don't know about 200 million, but I do know that for thousands of entrepreneurs and business owners the answer is definitely "yes." I know from personal experience -- writing a book can put your business on the map, big time.
When I started my business 20 years ago, I named it Steps to Success because I provided workshops that trained people how to achieve success. Prior to setting up shop, I had been the manager of training and organizational development for a large corporation. It was a logical step for me to become an external consultant working for a variety of clients, rather than working as an internal consultant for one client. I would provide a full range of human resource consulting and training services -- the same services I'd provided to my previous employer.
I never intended to be an author. I stumbled into writing a book the same way I've stumbled into many other good things in my career. You know the old saying -- "life is what happens while we're busy making plans." Very often those unexpected things turn out to be the best!
As I was starting my business, I discovered I still had some lingering resentments about my previous employer and needed a way to get those negative feelings out of my system in order to move on with the next chapter of my life. I knew that writing was cathartic, so I decided to write out my resentment as a mental health exercise. Wasn't sure what I'd do with my writing once it was done -- perhaps I'd publish it in a business journal or something. But that didn't matter so much as just getting that old baggage out of my head.
So I sat down to write a simple parable about a peacock who worked in the "land of Penguins." I wrote and wrote... then wrote some more. My mental health exercise quickly became more than just a short story -- it turned into a book.
A friend of mine suggested I contact another friend who was a literary agent, so I did. But despite the fact that she was one of the best agents in the business, my peacock story was rejected by all the big New York publishing houses.
But by now I was committed. I believed in my story, and after searching high and low, I finally found a publisher who did too -- a small boutique publishing house named Berrett-Koehler. They understood what I was trying to do with the story. They got it.
And the rest, as they say, is history. Today: my peacock book is published in 23 languages worldwide, with over 360,000 copies sold. A video producer adapted the story into an animated training video that became one of their top ten bestsellers. Bottom line: What had started out as a mental health exercise turned into a big money-maker!
But most important, the peacock book transformed my business. Steps to Success became Peacock Productions. Inquiries about workshops and speaking gigs poured in. I traveled to Europe, Canada, Colombia, Mexico, and Asia to give keynotes and teach workshops. People all over the world related to my story.
Today, A Peacock in the Land of Penguins is now in its third edition -- soon to be fourth. Royalties from book and video sales continue year after year (I love passive income!) and Web sales of training materials provide another income stream as well. I didn't realize it when I wrote it... but looking back, I can see that writing a book was the smartest business decision I ever made.
These days, I advise other consultants, speakers, and workshop leaders: "Write a book. It gives you instant credibility; it makes you an expert, even if you don't have a Ph.D." If you're an attorney, consider writing a book to help educate your customers about common legal issues. If you're a orthodontist, you could write a children's book for your young patients and their parents. If you're an accountant, you could write about all kinds of financial issues. If your business provides a personal service, you could even write a short book about "The Ten Top Things You Need to Know Before Hiring a (fill in the blank)." If you're a veterinarian, you could write something like "The Ten Most Important Things You Need to Know for Keep Your Pet Healthy." Whatever kind of business you're in, you can find an important topic that will educate your current customers, entice new customers to choose you over your competitors, build your brand, establish yourself as an expert in your field -- a leader in the marketplace.
You may or may not make money on the book itself. I made money on mine, but it would have been worthwhile even if I had made none. The book put my business on the map and the big money came from speaking gigs, consulting projects, and workshops. Your book is a powerful tool to leverage your business. Even if it costs you money to publish, you'll more than recoup your investment with increased business income.
Don't know how to write well, or don't have time? No problem. That's what ghostwriters are for. Many of the best-known CEO authors -- and even many well-published business gurus -- have ghostwriters do the heavy lifting. I've ghost written for business owners and CEOs myself -- and there's no shame in hiring a ghost if writing isn't your forte. If you've got good ideas and content in your head, you can hire a good scribe to capture that content on paper.
Not all of those 81% of Americans who want to write a book have a story worth telling, but if you're a business owner, you do. Write it and they will come.
BJ Gallagher is a successful author and ghostwriter. Her business books include: A Peacock in the Land of Penguins: A Fable About Creativity and Courage, YES Lives in the Land of NO: A Tale of Triumph Over Negativity, and Being Buddha at Work: 108 Ancient Truths on Change, Stress, Money, and Success. Visit www.peacockproductions.com for more information.]]>Fifty Shades of Pinstripes: A Guerilla Guide for Women Who Want to Win at Worktag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.28413852013-03-13T18:05:51-04:002013-05-13T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/"I want to know ... how to be manly and womanly, to be assertive and soft,
to act with power and move with grace, to march when I need to and dance when I can."
~ Lori Ann Lothian, author/publisher
As women continue to make inroads in the workplace - pioneering in traditionally male careers, taking on more leadership roles in executive suites and claiming their seats at the table where decisions are made - they also experience many of the same age-old frustrations shared by millions of working women over the years. Women ask:
• Why do men behave that way? I would never do some of the things these guys do.
• Why don't the men I work with not seem to hear what I say? Why do they ignore my suggestions and ideas?
• What does it take to be accepted and acknowledged for my contributions at work? Why do I feel like it's a boys' club and I can never break into it?
I've certainly had these questions myself. There was a lot I didn't understand about men.
In my 20's, I was interested in dating and getting married, so I had sought out therapists, attended workshops and participated in support groups - all designed to teach women how to attract high-quality men. I took copious notes, analyzed old childhood experiences, kept journals and learned from several terrific relationship experts. Along the way, I went on lots of dates and enjoyed some great (sometimes challenging) relationships. And most of all, I learned a lot about men.
In my 30's and 40's, I began to realize that learning about love was also improving my work life. I changed the way I look at men and, much to my amazement, the men changed! As someone wise once said, "When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change." Male behaviors that used to puzzle me now make complete sense, male habits that used to annoy me now seem charming and the same men who used to drive me crazy now delight me. Changing the way I looked at men - and interacted with them - in my personal life had the unexpected result of changing the way I interact with men in my professional life, too. And that has made all the difference.
What exactly did these relationship experts teach me that helped so much in business? Here are the ten helpful insights and practical tips for women who want to win with men at work:
1. Relationships are about energy - yin and yang, alpha and beta, masculine and feminine - complementary polar opposites.
Business is about energy, too - mostly yang, masculine, alpha energy. Once you understand the masculine energy of business, you can learn when to match it with your yang and when to complement it with your yin.
2. Women would be smart to analyze and understand the men they work with
Which ones are alphas, which are betas and which ones are androgynous types who effectively blend and balance their masculine and feminine energies. If you want to become skillful in dealing with men in business, you need to know who these men are.
Men are not all alike. A smart woman deals with alpha men very differently than she deals with beta men. Remember, business is all about energy, so knowing whether a man operates from yang energy or yin energy will make a critical difference in how you work with him.
3. Men's brains are built differently from women's brains: men are single-focused while women are good at multitasking.
Evolution has shaped our brains from the beginning of human existence, according to the division of labor between males and females. In prehistoric times, men were the hunters while women were the gatherers. Men needed to be single-focused: "Hunt the deer, hunt the deer, hunt the deer." Women needed to divide their attention between gathering roots, berries, grains and other foodstuffs, while keeping a watchful eye on their children, chatting with other women and watching for any danger in the environment, too. Men's brains evolved to specialize in focusing while women's brains evolved to specialize in scanning.
Once you understand men's single-focused brains, you can communicate more effectively with them. For instance, don't try to talk to a man when he's focused on something else. Make an appointment to discuss an important issue with him.
4. Male energy wants respect; female energy wants to be cherished.
Opinions are to men what feelings are to women - sacred. To argue with a man's opinion is to disrespect him - he needs to be right. It doesn't matter if a man's opinions are illogical or wrong - his opinions are his opinions and he'll go to any lengths to defend them. It's important for you to find creative ways to respect a man's opinions while still being effective at conveying your own.
5. Men want to make women happy.
They like to make all women happy, but especially the women who are important to them - female coworkers, business partners, customers and clients and valued female subordinates (as well as wives, girlfriends, and daughters). But if they can't make a woman happy, they'll settle for just not making her mad.
A smart woman tells a man what will make her happy, rather than making him guess. "I'd be happy to take on the challenge of leading that project team," or "Thanks for the update. It makes me happy to be kept in the loop."
6. Men are afraid of women's anger and will do everything they can to avoid incurring a woman's wrath.
This sometimes leads men to lie - or simply become evasive. Men often protect themselves by telling a woman what they think she wants to hear, rather than the truth. Or, he may avoid telling her anything at all. Several reasons for this - first among these is that most men simply don't know what to do in the face of a woman's emotions, so they will do their best to avoid triggering any strong negative feelings in her.
If you want men to communicate authentically, you need to make it safe for them to do so. You must welcome information - the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
7. For yang men, business is a competitive sport:
Butting heads and conflict are just part of the game - it's not personal. Guys can have a knock-down drag-out fight in a business meeting, then go out for drinks at the end of the day. No big deal.
Most yin women don't understand this - they personalize disagreements and debates. Women tend to nurse grudges, stop speaking to the person with whom they argued and waste valuable time and energy obsessing over perceived personal slights. If you can develop thicker skin and detach your personal feelings from the normal, day-to-day conflicts at work, you'll be a lot happier... and more successful, too!
8. Sexual tension is inescapable whenever men and women work together
We can never transcend our gender. Men and women handle this sexual tension differently. Women want to talk about it and figure out how to deal with it, while most men just want the sexual static to go away. Learning how to manage workplace sexual tension will help you be more successful. The natural tension between male and female, yang and yin, can be a great source of creativity and innovation if you channel the energy in a constructive, positive direction.
9. Alpha men like to teach - they like to give - they are generous with the people they care about.
Alpha men make great mentors, especially later in their careers, once they have achieved a high level of success. They enjoy bringing young up-and-comers under their wings and teaching them how to be successful. Aspiring women would do well to learn from powerful men - whether it's a formal mentoring relationship or simply an informal friendship. Watch, learn, listen and ask questions. Show respect and appreciation for what they teach you. Yang men love to teach - if you're a receptive yin, you'll be enriched with valuable lessons.
10. Business and money are all about yang energy, but that doesn't mean yin energy doesn't play an important role, too.
The world of business involves both leading and following, giving and receiving, directing and complying, acting and reacting. Smart women learn when to shift into their alpha masculine side and when to rely on their natural feminine energy.
Think of it this way: You have two hands - you tend to use one hand more than the other, but the other is always available whenever you need it. It's the same with yin and yang, masculine and feminine. The more intuitively and skillfully you learn to tap into both yin and yang energy, the more successful you'll be at work.
The Drucker School of Management at Claremont Graduate University offers a class entitled "Executive Mind"because "all manner of research supports the idea that mindfulness -- paying attention to what's happening in the present moment -- is essential to becoming an effective leader. Good decision-making often comes down to mustering focus, clarity and calm." And lest you be tempted to dismiss this is simply a "California thing," consider the fact that the venerable Midwest giant General Mills has developed its own homegrown mindfulness training program, hugely popular with employees.
Business guru Marshall Goldsmith applauds this mindfulness trend: "Being mindful was never as important as it is in today's high-stress business climate" -- as does Aspen Institute President Walter Isaacson: "Most of us could benefit from having a little more of Buddha in us during our daily lives... transcending the tensions of the workplace and facing issues with humor and equanimity." And the late Steve Jobs credited his early studies of Zen Buddhism as a formative influence on his aesthetic sensibilities, as well as his business practices at Apple.
"The ultimate purpose of the Buddha's teachings is to serve and benefit humanity, which entails applying them in practice in our day-to-day lives. This in turn reflects a practical approach to human problems, and I don't believe you need to be a Buddhist to benefit from such an approach," wrote His Holiness the Dalai Lama. Ken Blanchard (aka, The One Minute Manager), who calls himself the Chief Spiritual Officer of his company, concurs: "Does Buddha have anything to offer non-Buddhists in the workplace? My answer is a wholehearted, enthusiastic 'Yes.'"
I've long been curious about this ancient Eastern tradition but didn't make the time to quench my curiosity until about 12 years ago, when I was given the opportunity to team up with Buddhist scholar Franz Metcalf to write a book about Buddhism and business. I was eager to discover how to cultivate mindfulness at work and what it might mean in terms of stress-relief, productivity, and creativity.
The first thing I learned was that Buddha was a human being -- not a god. He compared himself to a doctor, dispensing the medicine of mindfulness -- insight into our human problems, both as individuals and as groups. But more than offering insight into our problems, he taught us how to transcend them.
Beginning with his own experience of enlightenment, or awakening (the word "Buddha" means "awakened one"), he created a system of thought that provides helpful, practical answers to typical situations we face in our lives every day. Buddha's teachings are above all useful. Buddha's teachings aren't about pie-in-the-sky - his teachings are about here and now. Buddha's teachings aren't just theory -- they're about practice. Buddha didn't just teach a way of thinking -- he taught a way of being and doing.
That's one of the things I love about Buddha's teachings -- they're practical. I'm a very practical person. I work with organizations that are grappling with tough problems and Buddha's teachings give me a set of simple, effective concepts and tools I can use right now, today.
When I first started reading Buddha's teachings I was surprised - and also delighted -- at the timeless quality to his wisdom. Buddha was the smartest psychologist I've ever read! His insights into how the human mind works are spot-on. Turns out, the human mind has changed very little -- if at all -- since Buddha was teaching his followers some 2500 years ago.
One of the most helpful concepts is that of the "monkey mind." Buddha pointed out that the human mind is filled with non-stop chatter -- much like drunken monkeys jumping around, screeching, calling to us, pulling our attention this way and that. We all have these voices in our heads -- some call them "the committee" -- some refer to the voices as their "inner dialogue" -- some even give it a medical label, "attention deficit disorder." Whatever you call it, we all have monkey minds -- to a greater or lesser degree.
Once we understand and accept that the normal human mind is a monkey mind, we can take steps to begin to tame our monkeys. Buddha taught his followers simple, easy, practical meditation techniques to focus attention, calm the monkeys, and wake up to reality in the present moment. Some people practice a form of breathing meditation; others, a chanting meditation. Some prefer walking meditation. Personally, I find that Transcendental Meditation works well for monkey-management. Often, gentle, compassionate self-talk works, too. (See "How to Tame Your Monkey Mind") There are many paths to mindfulness. To be mindful is simply to be awake, to be conscious, to be aware.
How does being mindful help you at work? Mindfulness keeps you from dwelling on the past or obsessing on the future -- mindfulness keeps you in today, which is where your attention needs to be. Mindfulness makes you aware of what is going on around you, so you are more likely to spot opportunities. Mindfulness makes you conscious of what is going on within you, so that you're less likely to self-sabotage or get in the way of your own success. Mindfulness enhances creativity and innovation.Mindfulness reduces stress. Mindfulness enhances gratitude, appreciation, and happiness. With all these terrific benefits -- and more -- it's no wonder that we find more and more corporations embracing elements of Eastern wisdom.
As the founder of a start-up that grew into a worldwide organization, Buddha knew a lot about organizational life. We can learn many lessons from Buddha because his organization was built to last -- it has stood the test of time. Buddha was a wise, insightful, skillful CEO -- a brilliant leader whose legacy lives on today -- not just in Buddhist organizations, but in the consciousness of enlightened leaders and mindful employees in the Western workplace as well.
BJ Gallagher's latest book (with Franz Metcalf) is Being Buddha at Work: 108 Ancient Truths on Change, Stress, Money and Success(Berrett-Koehler) ]]>Sweetbird Studio: Wearable Shrines of Intention for Body and Soul... and Canine Companiontag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.27416062013-02-27T16:51:45-05:002013-04-29T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/au natural. But she patiently puts up with my indulgences -- letting me put a necklace on her every now and then.
As I checked out Sweetbird Studio's website, I quickly moved beyond the doggie bling and found myself savoring the sight of the most unusual jewelry I'd seen in a long time -- deeply spiritual wearable works of art -- with a sense of humor, too. Their motto: "Wearable Shrines of Intention for the Body, Soul, and Faithful Companion." Their jewelry spoke to me -- appealing to my own quirky, eclectic spiritual-but-not-religious beliefs.
Sweetbird's designs made me smile, even chuckle out loud: A belt buckle depicting the Last Supper of Jesus and his disciples, with a caption: "Life of the Party." A guitar pick pendant that reads "Pick Jesus." A pair of earrings with tiny silver bowling pins and bowling balls that say: "Spare Me Jesus." Colorful guitar pick earrings that read "Jazz for Jesus."
Hmmm, I wonder... what Jesus would think about becoming an irreverent fashion accessory? I wanted to find out more about the woman whose soul speaks so clearly through her art, so I set up an interview.
Tell me about your background. How did you get into the jewelry-making business?
When I was college, I took one jewelry-making class as a respite from all the heavy business classes I was taking. That planted the seed, but the flower didn't bloom right away. When I graduated in 1984, I bought myself two business suits and took a job as a financial analyst for the Federal Reserve Bank of Denver. But I quickly discovered that working 9 to 5 in an office cubicle wasn't for me. The place was filled with worker bees who dutifully showed up for work each day, all the while hating their jobs and their lives. Nope, I decided after just a few weeks, I wasn't going to let myself meet the same fate. I needed to have a life and this wasn't it.
That's when Sweetbird Studio was born. I thought about what I really loved to do and I remembered that one jewelry-making class. I bought myself a 2x2 piece of sheet silver and I was in business, setting up shop in my little rented house on outskirts of downtown Chicago.
I recall heading down Michigan Avenue one day to look for accounts. I went into Saks Fifth Avenue to see what they were selling -- it was all really boring jewelry. So I phoned the manager and asked for 30 minutes of her time. "I'll show you something really different," I told her. I had to call quite a few times, as I had a hard time getting by her assistant, but finally got through, and she reluctantly agreed to see me. I went in, showed her the jewelry I had made, and that one sales call resulted in my jewelry being carried in 10 Saks stores. It was a good start, to say the least.
Where did you go from there?
For the next 25 years, I designed, made and sold jewelry. I went to trade shows and made a decent living.
Then about nine years ago, I found myself in a really bad spot. My personal life was a mess -- it had all the elements of a country-western song, except my dog didn't die. I looked at my jewelry and realized that everything I was making made no sense. So I closed up my business and called it quits.
I didn't know what to do next, so I figured I should just get a job, any job -- clerical, waiting tables, it didn't matter, just any old job would do.
What kind of job did you get?
Well, that's just it. I kept looking and looking but I just couldn't find a job. Then one day, I felt the urge to create something, so I went into my garage where I kept what was left of my jewelry supplies. I don't know exactly what happened while I was in there -- in retrospect, I fell into some kind of artist's trance or something. All I know is that six hours later I came out of the garage with a silver belt buckle with the Virgin Mary on it, and the words, "Release the Vision."
It's funny, I was raised Catholic but I never really understood my religion -- it was all pretty mysterious to me. I guess no one explained things to me. So I often wondered, "Am I a bad person?" and "Am I accepted into the church?"
Making this new belt buckle was a religious experience -- in the process of which I felt transformed. I was creating from a different place than where I'd been creating from for the previous 25 years. For the first time, I was "making from meaning." And I realized that when you find something you love, it follows you, even if you don't want it to.
I began making jewelry again. That was start of the second chapter of Sweetbird Studio.
So tell me more about the wearable art you're creating since your second chapter started.
My jewelry now has a deeper meaning. It's rooted in my respect for God and all the saints. What I experienced nine years ago was an awakening of faith and I suspect many others have had similar spiritual experiences.
My work is spiritual, but not deadly serious or uptight. We humans are deeply flawed creatures and my God has a sense of humor about that... about everything.
A while back I created a belt buckle with a vintage tin image of Jesus and his disciples at the Last Supper. I titled it "Life of the Party." Because it was a bittersweet gathering that night -- the joy of all being together, but the sadness in knowing that this would be the last time.
I posted the buckle on my website and a week or two later I got a voicemail message on my answering machine from an old lady I'd never met. She said, "You don't know me but I saw your belt buckle and I just want to warn you that you're going to Hell. I'll pray for you, dear." I wish I'd saved the voicemail on a tape or something. I felt compassion for her because I knew she really believed what she was saying and I was touched by her concern for my salvation. But I have no worries that Jesus was offended by the belt buckle nor that I would end up in hell for my artistic creation. I think that by not taking ourselves too seriously we actually get closer to God.
That's pretty funny.
Yes, it was. In my mind, the jewelry pieces I create are all metaphors for life experiences, especially spiritual experiences. I have one pendant that says, "Your Heart is Free" about my liberation from fear, doubt, and self-loathing. Another piece is a nest builder, a homesick bird, and on the back of the piece it says, "Let Go."
I save a lot of money on shrinks by making art instead. I consider each piece a "wearable healing shrine of intention." My jewelry is humble I don't ask myself, "What do I need to tech the world?" but rather, "What do I need to learn?" And I create from there.
For more information about Nancy Anderson's wearable art, visitwww.sweetbirdstudio.com]]>The Problem With Political Correctnesstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.27466632013-02-25T10:38:57-05:002013-04-27T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/do hurt -- names can shame, ridicule, and humiliate. Some pertain to race or gender; others refer to weight, facial features, or a particular part of one's anatomy. Names that refer to social class or what part of the country you're from can be hurtful, as can names that involve age, religion, or physical ability. Even slang names for certain occupations can be hurtful. Certainly, no one likes to be called a name that is disrespectful, unkind, or downright mean.
But there is another category of name-calling that is also hurtful and destructive: names such as "racist," "sexist," "homophobe," "anti-Semite," "bigot," and the like. Yet many throw these labels around at the drop of a hat, without understanding what the labels actually mean -- not to mention the damage done by accusing someone of racism, sexism, etc. The accusation alone -- even without merit -- can be enough to besmirch a reputation, kill a career, and/or be used to invalidate a lifetime of good work.
Let's consider the definition of racism: "a belief that race is the primary determinant of human traits and capacities and that racial difference produce an inherent superiority of a particular race." How about the definition of sexism: "prejudice or discrimination based on sex; especially: discrimination against women." And let's see who is a bigot: "a person who is obstinately or intolerantly devoted to his or her own opinions and prejudices; especially: one who regards or treats the members of a group (as a racial or ethnic group) with hatred and intolerance."
I wonder, do the TV talking heads understand the true definition of the labels they hurl at public figures: "racist," "sexist," "bigoted," or worse -- based on nothing more than a comment taken out of context, someone's clumsy attempt at humor, or a photo or image that's the artistic expression of a creative person?
How many of us understand these definitions when we call someone a racist or sexist jerk? Jerk, perhaps... but racist or sexist? Perhaps... perhaps not. Do we really understand the seriousness of those labels? Or, are we simply indulging in destructive name-calling based on political correctness?
My point is that the political correctness movement has gone way too far. While the original intent of political correctness may have been good (to encourage tact and sensitivity to others' feelings around issues of gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, physical abilities, and such), the effect of political correctness has been to make everyone avoid these topics altogether -- thereby hindering our ability to get comfortable in living and working with those who are different from us. It's gone so far that political correctness has become a bigger problem than the problem it was intended to address!
It's gotten so bad that a liberal professor friend of mine says that she thinks the whole political correctness movement was invented by the Far Right to inhibit any meaningful discussion of diversity issues in order to keep racial, gender, and other barriers in place. Wow. Could my cynical (dare I say paranoid) friend be right?
It doesn't really matter whether the PC Police come from the Right or the Left; the result is the same. These days everyone is so afraid of being called "sexist" or "racist" or "anti-Semitic" or some other career-killing label, that we all tiptoe carefully around diversity issues, and avoid them altogether if we possibly can.
But the question is: How are we ever going to be able to live and work together more comfortably if there's a whole herd of elephants in the room? If we can't talk about our feelings, fears, aspirations, anxieties, assumptions, hopes, worries, dreams, and concerns, how can we ever build trust with those who are different from us? If we can't talk about differences that puzzle us, or things we're curious about, without fear of giving offense, then how can we ever overcome our ignorance about cultures and races -- or even the opposite sex?
If we must constantly self-censor any conversation pertaining to race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, or physical ability, then we are doomed to perpetuate the very barriers we say we want to overcome.
To those who serve in today's PC Police, I understand that your intentions are good. But there is often a big gap between intent and impact. I would invite you to consider the impact of your censorship and finger-wagging, as well as your inclination to self-righteous, moral indignation. You don't realize it, but you're effectively throwing a wet blanket over public (and private) discussions of vitally important issues. You've gone too far in your efforts to protect everyone's feelings. You're essentially imposing a gag order on the whole of American society, and in so doing, you're hindering our progress in getting to know one another and to understand others' different perspectives, viewpoints, feelings, and life experiences.
Lighten up, please. Resign from the PC Police. Give us all a break.
BJ Gallagher is coauthor of the diversity classic, "A Peacock in the Land of Penguins: A Fable About Creativity and Courage" (Berrett-Koehler) - now the best-selling diversity book in the world (published in 23 languages).www.peacockproductions.com]]>Love Triangle: A Man, His Dog, and His Arttag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.26703602013-02-13T11:21:47-05:002013-04-15T05:12:01-04:00BJ Gallagherhttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/bj-gallagher/
While still in college I decided to marry art and took a vow in sickness, and health, 'til death does us part. It has been over 20 years since this vow and I have done it all: dad no money, had some money, died, came back to life, and now I'm back to staying afloat. The journey leads me to create art with anything, on anything, anywhere I am. I don't need fancy materials to make something. All the art I create comes from my mind and there is plenty in there to tap into. There is nothing to it but to do it. It is in the doing that I am free. Art heals me. Art heals the people who buy my work and have in their lives. They tell me that it brings smiles and happiness into their world.
I understand you were once run over by a car. How the heck did that happen? And how did it change your life?
Car? I wish it had been a car! Actually, it was a tracker trailer with 14 wheels. How it happened? I do not know. There were three eye-witnesses and they each told different stories. All I know is that the first wheel missed me; the second wheel rolled right over my leg; and I somehow dragged myself out of the way of the other wheels rolling toward me.
The paramedics told me later that I had saved my life by managing to get out of the way. When they arrived to tend to me, I had no pulse. No blood flow. Yet, I can tell you that I heard everything they said.
Today, it feels like I was given a new life in the same body. I have been to where the fire burns all night. I don't sweat the small stuff -- like long lines at stores, traffic congestion, and all the other tiny things that people complain about... It's all ant poop.
You have a very special relationship with your tri-pawed dog, Noel. When and where did you adopt her? How did she lose her leg?
I was email chatting with a friend on Christmas Eve morning very early and they sent me a link to the Delaware county SPCA site and told me to look at "Noel's Page." I looked at her photo and read her story -- how she was hit by a car one dark, rainy night around Halloween. A man found her in the road and took her to a local animal hospital. Noel had three fractures in her right leg and a lot of road rash all over. The vet set her leg and put a cast on it. But when they checked the leg a few days later, they saw that it was just too far gone. Too much tissue was gone from the leg. So, the vet removed Noel's right leg.
She was sent to Delaware County SPCA to heal. I filled out the form to adopt and then slept on it. The next day was Christmas so the SPCA was closed. I waited 'til the following day to go get her. When I pulled up to the shelter in my car, she was outside being walked by a shelter attendant. When she saw me, she jumped up and lavished dog kisses on me. That was all it took. We were meant to be together. I rescued Noel and she rescued me right back.
What made you decide to write a book? What's the message you want to share with the world?
While I was in the hospital, a nurse came into my room about 5 a.m. to draw blood for tests. I had blood drawn everyday for weeks but had never had seen this nurse before. As she drew the blood she told me, "Ya' gots a story ta' tell and you's gotta tell it!' She kept repeating this over and over. You see, I had really no idea how serious my accident had been.
Weeks later, on the inpatient rehab floor, a therapist working on another patient asked me, "You ever consider writing a book?" It was then that I researched my injury and understood what the medical staff were dealing with in my case. What had happened to me, only a couple people survived, and no one I know still has their leg.
The message? A few messages came out of writing my book, One Breath at a Time. "Sometimes in life we hit speed bumps and sometimes we are the speed bump." "We are loved, we matter, and we all are here for a reason." I saw death a few times the day that I was run over, and yet I came back to life. Why? I never gave up! I don't say, "See you later" anymore.
What do you most want people to get out of reading your book?
Anything is possible, an inch at a time. I started writing the book but it was far too much to bear. I stopped writing, knowing I still had to do it someday -- to have some closure and to share the story.
Years passed. Then a friend suggested I open the file for five minutes a day. "You don't even have to write," he told me. "You can just stare at the screen. If you feel you can write. Then write."
Several months went by and it was not long before I was done. I get through this life one breath at a time. I cannot live in the past or the future -- all I have is this moment. Upon finishing the book I told myself, "If I helped just one person to see we can keep moving forward no matter what, then that's just icing on the cake."
Any final comments?
I have wishes and dreams -- some have come true some still are being cooked by the Universe. One dream is to dance with Noel onstage with Ellen DeGeneres. Ellen has made me smile and laugh so many times -- she has helped me through my physical and emotional healing. Laughter is a wicked fantastic medicine!
David Gerbstadt visits schools to teach workshops and is a motivational speaker as well. For more information about David, his art, his dog, and his book "One Breath at a Time," visit www.gerbstadt.net.]]>
