2013-06-19T07:52:47-04:00 Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/index.php?author=joseph-e-cordell Copyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc. HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Joseph E. Cordell Good old fashioned elbow grease. tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.3148976 2013-05-03T13:57:44-04:00 2013-05-03T13:57:49-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
There is the man ordered not to procreate. The guy who must tell any female he meets that he owes child support. The dads forced to display signs proclaiming themselves "deadbeats."

Much is made of the offensive moniker "deadbeat dads" and the histrionic punishments doled out by zealous judges.

However, throughout my 20+ years with Cordell & Cordell advocating for fathers' rights, it is apparent the more pertinent story is the paucity of attention, much less innovation, given the reciprocal problem relating to primary custodians that defy court orders respecting the other parent's access and participation in children's lives.

The disparity between enforcement of failing to pay child support and custodial interference is particularly calamitous for fathers, who represent 87.1 percent of child support payers and 82.6 percent of noncustodial parents, according to the U.S. Census.

One might argue that the incongruity evidences the financial responsibility of rearing a child is held in higher regard than the emotional connection of a child to a parent.

Allow me to explain.

Child Support Enforcement

What happens to a father who is unable to maintain his child support payments, even after only a few months of failing to pay? Enforcement is swift, heavy-handed, and can be brought about privately, by hiring private counsel, or by utilizing a local child support enforcement office.

Sometimes the individual owed child support will not have to ask for assistance. If the offender has met certain thresholds for noncompliance, such as a failure to pay for three consecutive months, the enforcement office may step in and seek to enforce the child support order without prompting from the other party.

Depending on the jurisdiction, several penalties may be carried out administratively or "extra-judicially" without the need for judicial intervention or a hearing in court.

The offending individual may receive notice that their driver's license is being suspended, their passport is being confiscated, their vehicle is being repossessed, a lien has been placed on their property, or their federal tax return will be intercepted.

Jail time, while rare, is still a real and unnerving possibility for many fathers.

When dealing with custodial interference, there are far fewer options for enforcement.

Custodial Interference Enforcement Options

Consider what happens when an ex-spouse ignores the court-ordered parenting time scheduled and keeps the children from the other parent.

The father goes to pick the kids up, but the ex-wife won't let them leave the house. The dad is supposed to have Father's Day with the kids this year, but she took them to see their grandfather.

The initial reaction is to call the police. Good luck with that. Typically, law enforcement will not help enforce visitation. Rather than request assistance from a local authority or wait for an agency to step in, visitation is treated as a civil matter.

Therefore, an individual must either choose to a family law attorney or attempt to maneuver the legal system on their own.

Court-appointed attorneys for proceedings to enforce visitation are rare. Further, fewer legal aid resources are offering assistance when it comes to cases involving visitation and custody matters.

Thus, enforcement becomes a matter of the ability of a party to afford representation to enforce the order, styled either as a motion for contempt or motion to modify.

If an individual is not comfortable or savvy enough to file for enforcement on their own and cannot afford to hire counsel, then they typically are without means to enforce the visitation order.

Disparity in Enforcement

It is evident that the enforcement of child support and visitation are treated separately in the civil system. The law is quick and severe when child support is not paid but is largely toothless when a father is denied seeing his children.

Through both the financial ability to enforce, the variety of punishments, and access to remedies that extend the judicial system to administrative matters, the disparity of enforcement is blatant.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2726041 2013-03-01T12:18:36-05:00 2013-05-01T05:12:01-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/ property division.

Get A Home Appraisal

The most reliable valuation method for real estate would be to obtain an appraisal from a licensed appraiser.

Depending on your real estate market, appraisals can cost a few hundred or several hundred dollars. While this can be financially burdensome when your income is already strapped due to the costs of the divorce process, an appraisal can save you thousands of dollars if the value you are using for the real estate is inaccurate.

For example, if you are requesting to keep the marital residence, and you are attributing value to the property based on a 2009 assessor's value at $150,000, but a recent appraisal values the property at $140,000, you will owe your spouse $5,000 less in equity for the residence. Thus, the cost of an appraisal is often a worthwhile investment.

Conversely, if your spouse is requesting to keep the residence, and you have inadvertently valued the property too low, you could be losing out on equity in the home to which you are entitled.

If you and your spouse are not in agreement on the value of the residence, an appraiser is a reliable witness whom you can call to testify at a final hearing.

Comparative Market Analysis

Another method of valuation can be a Comparative Market Analysis (CMA). Realtors will often be willing to do a CMA for a homeowner at little or no cost, which can provide a possible fair market value for your residence.

A CMA looks to the other homes for sale or recently sold in your area and compares those homes and their sale prices with your home's value. While this is a more cost-effective option than an appraisal, it can be less accurate, as it may not take into account the specific condition of your residence.

However, if you are looking for a quick and cost-effective value method for your residence, this can be an option to utilize.

Do Your Own Research

Some parties will do their own research with online websites to determine a value, like Zillow.com. Unless you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse are willing to agree to this method of valuation, it is usually recommended that a more accurate and reliable source of valuation be implemented.

Presenting documents from a website is not viewed to be as accurate by the court as an appraisal or CMA.

As with any expert witness, it is best to retain the services of a neutral third party, i.e., if your sister is an appraiser, you probably should not utilize her appraisal services for your dissolution case.

Using a potentially biased person to provide the value for your property can give the other side an easy way to pull apart your proposed value of your real estate holding.

Of course, the other option would be to sell the marital residence and agree to split the proceeds from the sale accordingly. But if either party wishes to keep the marital residence, then it is important that a fair and accurate value for that property is obtained using one of the methods described above.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2013:/theblog//3.2480299 2013-01-29T12:15:06-05:00 2013-03-31T05:12:01-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
Divorce brings considerable changes to the way you file your taxes and which exemptions and deductions you can claim.

Below are the five most frequently asked questions to Cordell & Cordell attorneys about taxes and divorce.

What Is My Filing Status?

Your tax filing status, for most filers, is determined on December 31. If you were still married on that day, then you and your spouse can file a return with the status "married, filing jointly."

This is true even if your divorce began before the end of the year and even if you are living separately and have not relied upon each other's income.

This is a preferred status, and there are many advantages to filing taxes with it, such as the exclusion limits for capital gain on the sale of a principal residence. It may be, and often is, financially beneficial to file with this status even if you are divorced or divorcing.

However, joint filers are -- you guessed it -- jointly liable in the event of an audit.

Can I Claim The Dependency Exemption?

Unless your divorce settlement agreement or divorce decree says otherwise, the right to claim your child as a dependent belongs to the custodial parent.

According to the IRS, this means the parent who has the child more than one-half of the year.

However, if both parents spend one-half of the year equally then it is the parent who pays child support, and, if neither, then it is the parent with the higher adjusted gross income.

Can I Deduct Child Support?

The simple answer is no. However, you might be paying expenses for your children that are deductible.

These include qualifying childcare expenses and certain healthcare expenses for minors, and college tuition and school expenses for adults. Two federal options, which are not often discussed but could be helpful, allow you to deduct up to $8,500 total -- the Tuition and Fees Deduction and the American Opportunity Tax Credit.

Can I Deduct Alimony?

No matter what your settlement agreement/divorce decree calls it, you can deduct payments to your ex under four circumstances.

You can deduct payments that:
1.) Are made pursuant to a written agreement or judgment;
2.) When you are not members of the same household, provided that
3.) The payments are not child support, which is determined, in part, by a three-year payment analysis; and
4.) They cease upon your ex's death.

When you make payments under all of these circumstances, you can probably deduct the payments from your income.

This is one of the benefits of paying alimony, rather than a property settlement payment. Property transfers incident to divorce are not taxable income to the recipient and, therefore, are not tax deductible to the payor.

This means, for example, you could not deduct your monthly payments to pay off your ex's share of the equity in the home you keep.

Can I Deduct Divorce Attorney Fees?

It's unlikely you can deduct your divorce attorney fees. However, some of the costs you incur as a result of your divorce may be deductible.

If you plan to itemize your deductions and your total miscellaneous deductions exceed 2% of your adjusted gross income, then you can deduct three types of fees.

1.) Fees you paid for tax planning (such as your consultation with your CPA during your divorce to determine the best property settlement payout);
2.) Fees you paid to obtain taxable income (such as your attorney fees for collecting spousal support, if you are the recipient); and
3.) Fees you paid for securing an interest in a qualified retirement plan (such as those paid to divide your and your ex's defined contribution plans).

If you do not itemize deductions or your deductions do not pass the 2% adjusted gross income test, then you cannot deduct these fees.

Note: This information is general in nature and should not be construed as tax advice. You should work with your attorney or tax professional to determine the tax advantages that will work best for your situation.
]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1940393 2012-10-10T12:20:10-04:00 2012-12-10T05:12:02-05:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
Oft-quoted statistics would suggest this month is devoted primarily, if not entirely, to drawing attention to violence against women. For example, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, one in every four women will be a victim of domestic violence in her lifetime. Eighty-five percent of reported domestic violence entails a woman as the victim, and every year, at least 1.3 million women are assaulted by their significant other. Certainly, this violence against women is unacceptable.

However, just a few years ago, the National Centers for Disease Control reported that 40 percent of the victims of severe physical domestic violence were actually men and that statistic is climbing. Moreover, more than one-half of the domestic assaults involving deadly weapons were actually against men.

Men are less likely to report domestic violence whether out of fear of ridicule or a lack of support or the need to "be a man." As a result, agencies lack the data needed to do additional research.

For divorce lawyers in the courtroom, the claim that the husband is the victim is often received as an overstatement designed to garner sympathy for the man and/or place blame on the woman, as a desperate attempt to win a custody battle, as an underhanded way to inject fault in a no-fault divorce case, or worse. And the lack of statistics and studies only frustrates our argument in the courtroom that none of this is true.

Let me be clear. Violence against women should not be tolerated, just as violence against men should not be tolerated. But in my experience and in the opinions of other Cordell & Cordell attorneys, men have a harder case to prove that they are the victims, not the perpetrators.

In order to prove your case -- as well as protect your family -- when domestic violence is an issue in your divorce, consider following these five "musts."

Must #1: Call the police.

Do not wait for things to get physical; assaults include threats intended to put you in fear of imminent harm, and domestic violence includes verbal, emotional and financial conduct as much as physical.

Follow the officers' advice. Do not tell the officers that you do not want your spouse to go to jail -- like many spouses do -- because that will relieve the violent spouse from facing the consequences.

Must #2: Get psychological evaluation for your spouse.

Often, abusers have mental health or substance abuse issues that perpetuate the tendency to be violent. You may also find that your spouse was raised in a household in which violence was acceptable, or at least tolerated.

Understanding the mental health dynamics may help both of you seek out and utilize the best resources to repair your relationship, if it is reparable.

Must #3: Request child custody evaluations.

Similarly, if child custody is disputed, do not hesitate to ask that your family undergo a custody evaluation.

Request an evaluator who is trained in domestic violence treatment -- someone who will not conclude that your claims are overstatements -- and that the evaluation focus on each parent as well as each child's relationship with each parent and how domestic violence does or does not impact that relationship.

Sadly, even when children are not the direct victims of domestic violence, they are the indirect victims and, worse, pawns.

Must #4: Attend separate counseling.

Do not engage in "family counseling" or "joint counseling" until you and your spouse engage in separate counseling successfully.

Family counseling and joint counseling are not helpful. They allow the perpetrator to blame the victim and require the victim to participate in and take responsibility for the perpetrator's problems.

Must #5: Find the courage to speak up.

Victims will only receive help if they speak up. Speak to your family, your friends, your attorney, your church leader, or whoever will listen to you and not judge. Contact your community mental health department for help lines, free and low cost housing, counseling and attorney referrals.

Not reporting domestic violence because of the stigma attached -- in a divorce or otherwise -- is simply not an option when your life, and your child's, is on the line.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1756630 2012-08-17T12:19:34-04:00 2012-10-17T05:12:09-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
But all these fathers typically have one trait in common: they habitually and dismissively refer to "custody" as a universal term for all things child-related in a divorce.

When most prospective Cordell & Cordell clients come in for a consultation, they know what kind of physical custody they are looking to enjoy with their children. Many though do not realize that physical custody is not the only form of custody.

Whereas physical custody refers to the amount of time each parent is permitted physically with a child, there is also legal custody that covers major decision-making responsibilities affecting the children, including religion, choice of schools, extracurricular activities, health care, etc.

There are basically three possibilities: sole legal custody to Dad, sole legal custody to Mom, or legal custody to Dad and Mom jointly.

The significance of legal custody is that the non-custodial parent -- deemed as the parent who has visitation rights or secondary physical custody of the children -- cannot be cut out of the decision-making process regarding any major issues involving the children.

One of our attorneys at Cordell & Cordell met with a father who was operating under a previous court order where he agreed to let his ex-wife have sole legal custody. When going through the divorce years ago, he thought it was a mere formality that the custodial parent (his ex-wife) would also be given sole legal custody so he didn't give the title a second thought.

Years later, that flippant decision still has rampant ramifications.

His ex-wife, well within her rights to do so as the sole legal custodian, enrolled their child in a parochial school that he could not afford. Not only did he belong to a different religion, he was also required to pay a portion of tuition, which nearly impoverished him.

The father's protest was futile because his ex-wife had sole legal custody granting her the sole authority to dictate major decisions in their child's life.

The importance of legal custody to fathers cannot be overstated. "Non-custodial parent" is practically a synonym for "dad" these days, as fathers comprise almost 83 percent of the nation's non-custodial parents, according to the U.S. Census Bureau.

Joint legal custody does give the non-custodial parent substantially greater leverage than he would otherwise have. By exercising his veto power, Dad can put the brakes on unilateral decisions Mom may be inclined to make respecting major issues.

As a result, if my client is not likely to obtain primary physical custody, I strongly encourage him to seek joint legal custody. In the absence of primary physical custody, joint legal custody becomes an important mechanism to prevent Mom from reducing Dad to a child support provider and occasional weekend babysitter.

Though most divorced dads may not have as much parenting time with their children as moms do, they need to ensure their legal rights as a parent are protected by securing joint legal custody and its requirement to involve both parents in decision making regarding the children.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1597875 2012-06-15T10:18:15-04:00 2012-08-15T05:12:05-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
There is no doubt when a child is born who the mother is, but unmarried fathers are often denied the parental designation until the proper procedures are taken.

The discrimination against fathers in family courts is well documented (see my previous column "Divorce Civil Rights"), but the infringement on the rights, or lack thereof, of unmarried fathers is particularly unsettling.

When a child is born during a marriage, the child is presumed to be the child of the husband. But when a child is born out of wedlock, there is no presumption as to who the father is and thus, no paternal rights.

This bias against unmarried fathers is a growing concern as the changing dynamic of families means more couples eschew marriage in favor of cohabitation, which partially explains why more than 40 percent of children are currently born out of wedlock, according to the National Center for Health Statistics.

In my experience, handling paternity cases at Cordell & Cordell, unmarried fathers are woefully ignorant about their perilous situation. If paternity has not been established, a father has no legal standing if the mother decides she no longer wants the kids to see him. There is nothing legally preventing the mother from withholding the children from their father.

An unwed father is left at the mercy of the mother of the child until paternity is established. If you are an unmarried dad who is certain you are the biological father, then you must be proactive and establish paternity to assert your legal rights.

My website DadsDivorce.com outlines three ways dads can establish paternity:

1. Get on the birth certificate. Once your child is born, the easiest way to establish paternity is by getting your name on the birth certificate. Voluntary Acknowledgment of Paternity (VAP) forms are also available for fathers to sign at the hospital at the time of the child's birth.

If the mother refuses to provide your name at the time the baby is born or you don't sign the VAP, you should contact your state's Department of Records to obtain information on how to complete the form on your own.

2. Get an order through an administrative agency. Administrative agencies (such as Child Support Enforcement) can be helpful during the initial stages of your paternity action by assisting you with filling out forms and helping you obtain a DNA test to establish that you are the father of the child.

3. Get a court order. To do so, you must file a Petition for Paternity and Child Custody with your local Circuit Court or Family Court. The court will then order a paternity test or look to see if the father is listed on the birth certificate to determine whether paternity has been established.

A court order will generally include a parenting plan outlining custody, visitation and other important aspects involved in the general upbringing of your child.

Dads already face uphill battles in family courts, but unmarried fathers need to realize the challenge is exponentially more difficult if they do not formalize their biological relationship with their children.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit dadsdivorce.com for more information.
]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1432942 2012-04-17T18:13:11-04:00 2012-06-17T05:12:01-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
A prenuptial agreement is a contract that re-writes the laws of divorce and estate law. These agreements can eliminate the potentially gray areas of family law by allowing couples to plan their future with more security and make certain determinations as the parties see fit.

As I mentioned in a previous Huffington Post column on marriage contracts, there's a popular perception that prenuptial agreements are a cynical way to enter into a marriage. It's true that prenups recognize the possibility of divorce, but with roughly half of all marriages ending in divorce you would be ignoring reality if you didn't attempt to protect your interests before tying the knot.

In general, there are four factors to consider when deciding whether you should pursue a prenup:

1. Age of the parties: the older you are, the more likely you need one.
2. Children from a previous relationship: a prenup is always a good tool to protect the financial future of children from prior marriages or relationships, but these agreements are not allowed to regulate issues relating to children of the future marriage, such as child custody.
3. Presence of substantial assets: the more assets you have, the more likely you need a prenup.
4. Disparity of assets: if there is a large disparity in assets between the two parties, then you want a prenup.

The lack of a prenup invites complexity and injustice if those factors apply to your situation.

Approaching Your Spouse

It is important to understand that agreeing to a prenup is not planning on your marriage failing; it is providing a plan for how to deal with the property of the parties in the event the marriage does not last. It is only ever used in the event that the marriage fails, which could happen whether or not the prenup was signed.

Also, a prenup can be designed to protect both spouses, not just the spouse with more assets at the beginning of the marriage who is likely proposing the contract.

What To Include In Your Prenup

The content of a prenuptial agreement can vary widely, but it commonly includes provisions for division of marital property, including both assets and debts. However, prenuptial agreements cannot provide for matters of child custody because judges will not enforce a previously decided parenting plan, as said plan may be written prior to the birth of the child or the parties' current situation

The parties may include certain clauses that can change the terms of the prenup in certain circumstances, for instance a provision that if one spouse cheats, the other will be entitled to a larger share of the marital estate.

Prenups should contain venue clauses to ensure the parties are aware of which state's laws will apply in the event that they need to enforce the agreement. A sunset provision may also be inserted into a prenuptial agreement specifying that after a certain amount of time the agreement will expire.

Severability provisions are necessary parts of prenuptial agreements that allow for the court to sever an unenforceable provision while still upholding the rest of the agreement. Otherwise, without such a clause, the court may strike the entire agreement if one aspect is found to be unenforceable.

The agreement must not be unconscionable at the time it is executed. In order to avoid problems on these grounds, both parties must be of sound mind and the agreement must be provided in advance of the wedding.

There is case law establishing that a prenup signed too close to the wedding date can be dismissed. A good rule of thumb for when to sign a prenuptial agreement is before the date is set and invitations are mailed.

Who To Get Help From

Each party should be represented by a separate lawyer. This will prevent a conflict of interest and the appearance of overreaching by one party, both of which are grounds to set aside a prenup.

A CPA or other financial advisor would be helpful to ensure the parties understand the long-term financial consequences of the agreements reached. For instance, divisions of investment accounts can have unintended tax consequences that both parties should be aware of before signing an agreement.

Understanding what you and your future spouse are asking for and the potential consequences is crucial before signing.

Prenuptial agreements are highly specialized contracts because they consolidate contract law, matrimonial law, property law, and support law. It takes an attorney with an in-depth understanding of these areas of law and how they intersect in the world of domestic relations to adequately protect the rights of the soon-to-be-wed when they find themselves in the position of being a soon-to-be-ex.

Contact the divorce lawyers at Cordell & Cordell for additional information and tips on executing a prenuptial agreement.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1389621 2012-04-02T11:45:32-04:00 2012-06-02T05:12:01-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
Judges are human and susceptible to biases, including the antiquated preconception that children of divorce are better off living with their mothers.

So guys cannot afford to fall any further behind when it comes to presenting their case for custody. Since the evaluation process by the judge will encompass all of your behavior, you will want to heed the following list of five common mistakes made by men during child custody battles, compiled with the help of my fellow Cordell & Cordell divorce attorneys.

1. Yelling at your wife: Men are in a distinct position in this society where they are presumed to be dominating and more powerful than women.

That being the case, women are in a position to claim they are afraid of their husband. Whether their fear is authentic or not, the court takes such allegations very seriously. (Read my earlier Huffington Post column on orders of protection being used as tactical nuclear weapons for more on that.)

Do not give your wife any ammunition for the court. Arguments will likely happen. But no matter how difficult it is as you work your way through this intense, emotional rollercoaster ride known as divorce, fight the urge to yell as a way of expressing your point.

2. Moving in with a significant other: Divorce is a difficult time for children. It is hard for them to grasp the idea that their parents' love for each other is over.

This is even more difficult when it becomes clear that their parents have moved on and started dating. Courts are reluctant to expose children to such truths. Judges do not appreciate children being exposed to significant others while a divorce is proceeding.

Until the divorce is final -- and even for a while after -- do not expose the children to a new girlfriend.

3. Criticizing your wife to friends and family: Keep in mind that your friends are likely friends that were shared by both you and your wife at one time. You should expect mutual friends to still talk to your wife. Assume comments you make will get back to her.

Do not waste time criticizing your wife to friends, family, and especially your children. That is easily misinterpreted as parental alienation, which is an act by a parent that tries to obstruct the relationship between a child and the other targeted parent. The two most common forms of alienation that get parents into trouble are criticizing the other parent around the kids and keeping the children from the other parent in any way.

4. Denying telephone contact with mom when the children are with you: Even if you have limited time with your kids, you must allow them to call mom when requested.

In addition, if she calls to check on your children, you need to be polite and allow her to talk to them unless it would cause disruption. Children should feel free to communicate with either parent at any time.

5. Taking the kids out of the area without warning mom in advance: If you have an upcoming vacation planned outside your immediate area, be sure that you have notified their mother before you take the children.

If you leave the area without notifying your wife, it may appear you are attempting to kidnap the children. That could result in her obtaining emergency orders restricting or terminating your parenting time. If at all possible, try to notify her in writing two weeks in advance so there will be no confusion when the time comes.

If you behave as though the judge were standing next to you each time you interact with your wife and children, you will certainly avoid the pitfalls that will reduce your custody chances. For additional tips and resources on divorce and child custody, please visit DadsDivorce.com.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit dadsdivorce.com for more information.
]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1307346 2012-03-08T12:29:58-05:00 2012-05-08T05:12:02-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
A recent article on DadsDivorce.com outlined the profound impact testimony from teachers can have on a judge's determination of child custody and parenting time.

Teachers are often called into court to testify regarding parental involvement in the children's lives, particularly the educational aspect. The best thing you can do for yourself and your child is to ensure that you are not cut out of your child's education.

When parents have separated, it often becomes the case that only one parent is contacted by the school to arrange parent-teacher conferences and participate in class activities.

More often than not, it is the mother who has the time to volunteer at school to help out. It's Mom who usually is the one the school calls, who handles carpool, who drops off the snacks.

Teachers see moms do this every day. Fair or unfair, when a dad does these things, it sticks out because few dads do so. As I recommend in my book "The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce," make sure your kids' teachers get used to seeing you.

Attend parent-teacher conferences. Even if there is not a parent-teacher conference scheduled, make sure your kids' teachers see you picking them up from school and pop in to talk to teachers from time to time.

If every couple months you had lunch with your child or took a vacation day to go on a field trip, your participation in the education process as a father will stick out more in the teacher's mind.

Continue to be involved in your child's education by providing the teacher with your contact information and asking to be informed about volunteer opportunities with the school and your child's progress on academic subjects.

One big obstacle many temporary non-custodial parents and their children face is completing homework during midweek parenting time. Working on homework with your child is of paramount importance, even if you are one of the many fathers relegated to seeing your kids just one school night a week.

It can be difficult to take the time to do homework instead of playing together during those overnight visits, but it is imperative that you help your kids with their homework. Many schools now have homework books that list assignments, so sign those books or initial their homework every time you do homework together.

In one case we handled at my law firm, Cordell & Cordell, the deciding factor in a custody contest was the homework book. There were dozens of homework assignments, and the mom had signed for only three. The dad had signed for the rest.

While all of these potential actions are done for the simple benefit of your child and furthering his or her education, it also provides the judge an opportunity to see that your parenting time is nothing but beneficial. This proves you are actively seeking to be involved in your child's education and are following up with teachers to ensure that you are doing everything in your power to better your child through learning.

Being involved in your child's education is an excellent way to spend additional bonding time and demonstrate a willingness to be involved with your child's growth.

It also may just make the difference in your custody case.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.1232568 2012-01-27T12:20:36-05:00 2012-03-28T05:12:02-04:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
The second most important economic decision a person will make is deciding to say, "I don't."

Yet very few people pay attention to the implications of the contract of marriage. With decades of experience handling men's divorces at Cordell & Cordell, I can tell you that couples do not appreciate the extent and comprehensiveness of this contract that essentially means all of their assets become hopelessly commingled once they are married.

It's likely one of the spouses in a marriage will contribute disproportionately more in assets to the marital partnership, yet all that income, property, and assets become merged into one marital pot where the lesser contributing spouse is now entitled to half.

People take a practical, reasonable, business-like approach to buying a car, buying a house, and every other major financial decision. They research options, read over the fine print, and make an educated choice. So why is the practical approach disregarded when it comes to marriage?

The moment you say "I do" you are essentially giving your spouse half of your wealth; not just your current wealth and what you bring into the marriage, but nearly every asset acquired during the course of the marriage -- and sometimes after.

Take the recent news of NBA star Kobe Bryant, whose soon-to-be-ex-wife will reportedly receive at least half of his estimated $150 million fortune. Even though his assets are on a much larger scale, Mr. Bryant and a construction worker making $40,000 a year have one thing in common: everything they owned was up for grabs the second they got married.

A prenuptial agreement is an obvious way to protect your financial interests, but too many people dismiss prenuptial agreements as only for the wealthy or believe a prenup is a harbinger of divorce.

A Harris Interactive poll showed nearly half of divorced people wish they had a prenup and 44 percent of single adults would want a prenup. Yet, only about 5 percent of couples actually have such an agreement.

There's a popular perception that prenups are a cynical way to enter into a marriage. It's true that prenuptial agreements recognize the possibility of divorce, but to think otherwise is contrary to reality when roughly half of all marriages end in divorce. The divorce rate tells us it is imperative to have your financial interests protected before getting married.

Once seen as an inducement to divorce, and thus a detriment to marriage, prenuptial agreements are now viewed by many states as strengthening a partnership. Even the Michigan Supreme Court wrote that prenups "allow couples the opportunity to ensure predictability, plan their future with more security, and, most importantly, decide their own destiny."

Regardless of the amount and type of property you own, and whatever your goals are for protecting and preserving those assets, a divorce lawyer can work with you to determine the best asset protection strategies for properly achieving those goals.

When it comes to asset protection, there is a minefield here that if you fail to navigate adroitly could result in losing your hard-earned assets to the other party.

Remember, you have worked hard to obtain your property. It will be beneficial to you in the long run to take the necessary steps to protect what you have earned.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.1159299 2011-12-26T03:15:18-05:00 2012-02-24T05:12:02-05:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
A dissolution isn't cheap, but there are certain times it can be financially advantageous such as now given our country's current economic predicament.

I am not encouraging divorce, but you should not let a poor economy prevent an inevitable break up. In the stock market, you buy low and sell high. Why would you divorce high and not low?

The current economy significantly affects the outcome of a divorce but not the fundamental decision to file. In general, a couple's economic situation is a contributing factor, but I have yet to see a client choose to file for divorce simply because he is unhappy with the marital income, assets, debts, or liabilities.

There are usually deeper issues and problems that dominate the action. Divorce is something you don't want to choose unless you must. To those of you who must, I want you to keep in mind the timing of a divorce.

As money becomes tighter, a lot of people are increasingly concerned with the costs of divorce, including attorney fees, the additional expenses of a physical separation, and the effects of the divorce on the marital estate.

They see their finances, they see the mortgage is upside down, and they know the likelihood of future child support and spousal maintenance payments will make it difficult to financially manage a divorce, so they go about planning for the future and preparing to file for a divorce later on when they have better financial footing.

But is that the best move?

Hard economic times are potentially favorable to the party that generates more income and has more assets, particularly temporarily depressed assets. It may be less financially painful to divide the assets, such as your home or your retirement account, when the values are much smaller.

With the national unemployment rate hovering around 9% and many more people underemployed or facing cutbacks in hours, judges are more sympathetic when the non-custodial parent's salary or bonus has been cut.

The loss in income and earning capacity could lead to lower child support payments, especially as courts have become more reluctant to impute income to a party given the present economy and lack of available jobs.

Whenever a court looks at alimony and child support it will look at your income. Different courts use different formulas, but in virtually all courts the ability to pay is a critical factor.

How many other things in life work like that where the cost of the product or the process is determined by your ability to pay?

If you are considering filing for divorce, you need to complete a strategic analysis and look at where your assets might logically end up at the end of the divorce, whether they are divided via trial or settlement. Then, assess what those values are today compared to a date in the future. Do the same thing with respect to alimony, child support and debts.

Again, I want to stress that Cordell & Cordell does not advocate for divorce. Do not allow the timing and financial analysis to drive the threshold decision of deciding whether or not getting a divorce is right for you. Your decision to divorce should not be based on a cold financial analysis by you, a lawyer, or a CPA.

But if you've already concluded that you are going to get a divorce or you suspect your spouse may be waiting for favorable circumstances before filing, then you need to sit down with a divorce lawyer to explore the best timing options in your case to minimize your financial exposure.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information.]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.1108287 2011-11-25T04:00:42-05:00 2012-03-01T15:23:51-05:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
Men seem to think having a "pit bull" for an attorney will make all the difference when they come into court for their divorce and child custody case.

A feisty, "take no prisoners" divorce lawyer will walk all over Mr. Nice Guy in a courtroom, right?

Others convince themselves they need a woman to represent them. Why? One common theory is having a woman represent a man in a divorce action can soften the harshness of his arguments against his wife.

For instance, if a male attorney with a male client gets your wife on the stand and highly criticizes her life choices, such as being a housewife, it can appear cruel or attacking.

However, you may be able to present a potentially less offensive argument to the court if you have a female attorney respectfully point out the choice to be a housewife may no longer make sense for the family.

So should you go with the pit bull or Mr. Nice Guy? The man or the woman?

The short answer is it is better to have a competent divorce lawyer who cares about your case and will provide you with the kind of representation that you are paying for.

There isn't one personality type that fits best to every divorce and child custody case, and the gender of your attorney should have little impact on the final outcome.

As with many family law matters, the need for a pit bull approach or a Mr. Nice Guy approach really depends on the facts in the case and the nature of the litigation.

At Cordell & Cordell, one characteristic that I find stands out with our divorce lawyers is the versatility they can provide in their representation of clients in adapting strategies and comprehensive roadmaps tailored to the client's needs and stated goals.

We promise our clients intelligently aggressive representation and take it to heart what that promise means.

While the merits and strengths of pursuing alternative dispute resolution methods or informal settlement conferences are explored in every matter, for many of our clients the time for "playing nice" and a collaborative style of representation has ended well before they walk in the door.

Very often, guys going through divorce simply want their day in court, which we believe every client should be entitled to.

For example, one recent case dealt with a contentious child custody matter in which a client had been pressured by prior counsel to take a less litigious course of action and concede a preliminary award of child custody to his wife, over the client's stated desires.

When the client decided to get a second opinion in meeting with and later retaining Cordell & Cordell, we developed a comprehensive litigation strategy which ended up with the dad receiving a favorable child custody evaluation and later an award of primary physical custody of his children at trial.

Family courts vest their judges with a large amount of discretion. Each judge will view your unique facts differently so there is no certainty on the impact of your choice of an attorney, be it man or woman, pit bull or nice guy.

A Checklist of Questions When Interviewing A Divorce Lawyer
Adapted from my book "The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce"

1. Do you focus exclusively on divorce and family law, particularly father's rights and men's rights?
2. Have you practiced in the county my case will take place in? (Variations of this include do you know my judge or the judges in that circuit? And have you heard of the attorney on the other side?)
3. What can we do in terms of strategy and tactics for helping me get what I want?
4. How do you feel about going to trial in a divorce case? Do most of your cases settle?
5. What's your general philosophy or approach when representing men in divorce cases?

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information
]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.1072905 2011-11-03T12:40:22-04:00 2012-01-03T05:12:02-05:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
Failing to fully engage in your case is one of the stupidest mistakes men make in divorce because it's a destructive and completely avoidable blunder.

As mentioned in my book "The 10 Stupidest Mistakes Men Make When Facing Divorce," the most difficult clients are the ones who "don't sweat the small stuff." They are the ones who don't care about the details and don't pay the attention necessary in order to help themselves. They also seem to be the ones who are most likely to blame their lawyer if they don't get the result they like.

A trademark of the "don't sweat the small stuff" guy is getting in touch with his attorney only if there's a crisis. We'll get a call out of the blue from an upset divorced dad saying, "I haven't seen my kid in a month, and you're not doing anything about it!"

More often than not, the attorney's response is, "You haven't kept us informed as to the details of what is going on. We need you to update the specifics--the times when your wife refused to let you see your son -- before we can go back to court and take care of this."

That's why the men's divorce attorneys at Cordell & Cordell keep their cell phones on over the weekend and in the evenings -- when a crisis is most likely to happen as parents are home from work and kids are out of school. It's during the time off that arguments occur, threats are made, and someone violates the terms of the child custody agreement.

Many clients hurt themselves when it comes to dealing with the financial aspects of the case. Most men think of financial records as an annoying technicality they have to endure. Their impression is that the financial statement is simply some background for their lawyer and the records will be filed away with no significant impact on their lives. However, the exact opposite is true, as the information provided will dictate how you will live the rest of your life.

One of our firm's lawyers shared this unfortunately common example where a dad's casual attitude toward the financial statement was seriously damaging for his wallet.

Jim had been asked for months to provide his income and expenses information before his upcoming child support hearing. After finally "getting around to it," he dropped off a huge binder full of his financial statements at his lawyer's office the evening before his 9 a.m. support hearing, leaving his attorney with almost no time to review and prepare his documents.

The next morning Jim and his lawyer are frantically trying to review all of his information while in the waiting room outside of the courtroom. Jim's lawyer did the best he could under the circumstances, but the lack of organization was evident as Jim was ordered to pay a higher amount of support than he most likely would have if he had given his attorney an appropriate amount of time to prepare.

Jim apologized for dropping the ball, but he -- and his checkbook -- was reminded you only get one shot to make your case. You can't ask for a continuance because your client was lazy and didn't do his part.

Moral of the story: staying on top of your case as an engaged client can save a lot of sleepless nights.

And your bank account.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information.

]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.1009239 2011-10-13T23:20:29-04:00 2011-12-13T05:12:01-05:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
Not only is the family business usually the largest marital asset, it's also often the family's main income source.

In order to make a distribution of property in a divorce, it is necessary to determine the value of the marital assets and debts. This difficult, complex task is exacerbated when a family business is involved because spouses tend to develop two different syndromes during the valuation phase, according to the divorce lawyers for men at Cordell and Cordell.

One spouse is afflicted with Sudden Business Losses Syndrome. Symptoms include arguing that the business is tanking and worth nothing. The other spouse invariably contracts Sudden Ivana Trump Syndrome whose side effects include thinking the business is the next Apple Inc.

The spouses will then dig in their heels, fight over whose value is right, and watch as no one wins except for their divorce lawyers' coffers. A judge may ultimately have to decide the value of the business.

In order to avoid this costly scenario and deal with your small business effectively, you need to decide what your business is and choose your valuation method.

First, when deciding on the business division method you need to determine if your business is "property" or "income." This is not just a semantics lesson.

If your business is labeled as "property" (e.g. making money with tangible assets such as an apartment complex), then it is subject to your state's divorce laws for property division.

However, if you call your business "income" (e.g. making money with intangible assets such as a divorce lawyer's practice), then it could be subject to alimony award rules.

The difference? Many states award each spouse one-half of the marital "property" but rarely would a spouse be awarded one-half of the other's "income" as alimony.

When a business is deemed both "property" and "income" then you need to be careful to separate the two in order to avoid a double dip.

If you did not segregate the property from the income, then your business as property could be divided with your spouse receiving her share in addition to you being forced to pay alimony based off the income from the already-divided business.

That's double dipping.

Next, choose your valuation method wisely. It is fairly easy to determine the value of public companies, but family-owned businesses pose a much greater challenge because there is no established market for the sale of those companies.

Choose the wrong method and you could over-value your business and pay more to your ex than it's worth, thus the importance of choosing a method that focuses on certain factors favorable to you at your spouse's expense.

For those with Sudden Business Losses Syndrome, the fair market value method is a popular choice.

This method treats the business as if it were an item of property sellable on the open market. This works well for the unique business (e.g. a decorative spoon collectible store) and the dime-a-dozen one (e.g. a greasy, corner diner) because where the demand is low so is the value. A low purchase price for a hypothetical sale is ideal for the Sudden Business Losses Syndrome-type.

Those with Sudden Ivana Trump Syndrome enjoy using the capitalization of earnings method, which treats the business as a revenue stream valuable to its owners if not to the hypothetical buyers in the open market.

The capitalization rate is based on the rate of return for similar investments, the risk, and the business's historical earnings. So the Sudden Ivana Trump Syndrome spouses will make the cap rate as high as possible in order to justify these phrases:

• "That custard stand is the next Dairy Queen." (rate of return for similar investments)
• "Nothing is as reliable as this business." (minimizing risk)
• "Business was down that year, but look at the trips we took and clothes we bought." (glossing over low-earning years)

After all, the more the business generates for its owners, the more valuable it is - and the more to divide in divorce.

Finally, it is wise for one spouse to buy out the other's interest in the business. If each spouse retained a share and remained involved in the business, disagreements can and will happen.

For the spouses who each take a one-half share, expect a deadlock on any decisions. For the spouse who retains a minority interest in the business, expect oppression.

Remember, you got divorced for a reason.

The process of determining the value of a small business can be very complicated. Your divorce lawyer should be able to assist you in selecting a business valuator and in interpreting the valuator's report.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information
]]> tag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.974970 2011-09-23T12:22:17-04:00 2011-11-23T05:12:02-05:00

Joseph E. Cordell http://www.huffingtonpost.com/joseph-e-cordell/
The terminology of orders of protection varies by state (they can be called protection from abuse orders, domestic violence injunctions, etc.), but to me they are better known as tactical nuclear weapons.

A Stop Abusive and Violent Environments (SAVE) report published earlier this year estimated that 85% of protective orders are entered against men. I believe that upwards of 90% of those orders are products of tactical divorce considerations.

In fact, many people are encouraged by their lawyers to seek this protection without cause because of the beneficial position gained by this strategic move.

These orders are easy to obtain -- all a woman has to do is say that she is in reasonable fear for her safety. Documented evidence of abuse is not required.

Protective orders are often entered on an "emergency" basis without notice to the defending party and then set for a full hearing date several weeks out. Courts will do this in order to maintain the status quo until proper notice can be given to the now restrained party and a hearing can be held.

With a small statement, the accused (again, the man in about 85% of the cases) can be forced to stay out of the home, barred from parenting time, and prevented from any contact with his children, including through phone and email. In an instant, his house and kids can be taken away from him.

In effect, the order becomes a de facto sole child custody order.

These hearings, and the resulting orders, can be arbitrary at best. At Cordell & Cordell, we once had a case where the wife petitioned for a domestic abuse restraining order.

The wife made various false allegations, and we disproved or showed how she did not meet her burden on all of them. The judge found that nothing in the petition was credible or amounted to abuse or threats of abuse.

However, the judge said he watched our client's behavior and found that during the hearing, the client was glaring at his wife. The judge found that behavior to be intimidating to his wife and granted the injunction based on that courtroom behavior being a threat.

Time and time again, I have seen orders of protection treat the man like a criminal when there is no basis for the endangerment claims. These men are law-abiding citizens and great fathers who see their rights challenged or completely vanish in court.

Even if the allegations of abuse are found to be false and the protective order is dismissed at the full hearing, these men are still victimized by the stigma that they are abusers.

Having an order of protection entered against you may affect your criminal history record and many times protective orders are visible on background checks for employment.

So the unnecessary or false orders entered result in persistent damage to the innocent dad's reputation, career prospects, financial status, and his standing in the eyes of his children.

Of course, orders of protection have their place when protecting someone against abuse; no individual, man or woman, should be subjected to this in a relationship. However, this protection is abused and mostly to the benefit of women.

Joseph Cordell is the Principal Partner of Cordell & Cordell, a nationwide domestic litigation firm focused on men's family law matters. Cordell & Cordell also provides a website dedicated to informing men on the divorce process and the challenges they face. Visit http://www.dadsdivorce.com for more information.]]>