Kari Ansari2013-05-21T22:49:43-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/author/index.php?author=kari-ansariCopyright 2008, HuffingtonPost.com, Inc.HuffingtonPost Blogger Feed for Kari AnsariGood old fashioned elbow grease.Obama Campaign, Ignore Muslim Americans at Your Periltag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.19739342012-10-19T07:52:01-04:002012-12-19T05:12:01-05:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
Oh, wait, I would need to clarify the above; we have received some special consideration for being Muslim in America if you count being spied upon by the NYPD, being profiled at U.S. airports with consistent but "random" super security checks, or being unfairly denied building permits and zoning permission when attempting to build or expand our places of worship (see the list of articles here). And we must include certain United States members of Congress, particularly Minnesota Rep. Michele Bachmann, and N.Y. Rep. Peter King who have deemed Muslim Americans as worthy of special attention by vilifying the entire faith group in America as disloyal, suspicious traitors to our country.
Muslim Americans would appreciate our president's support in standing with us against the religious and racist slurs, inequities and outright violations of our civil rights, but so far, we're just not feeling it.
I attended a dinner last weekend hosted by the Muslim Advocates in Arlington, Va., where Minnesota Congressman Keith Ellison spoke after receiving an award of recognition from this dynamic organization. He reminded the audience that it's not the president's job to inspire us, or to defend our civil rights -- instead, it's our responsibility as U.S. citizens to stand for ourselves to demand that we be given the same rights as other Americans.
That speech got me thinking. I realized Rep. Ellison was right: It's not the president's job to inspire my faith community; however, right now, it is his job to convince us that we need to go out and vote for him.
For too many reasons to list here, Mitt Romney is not the candidate many Muslims will support. However, President Obama should not take our vote for granted. A humble word to his campaign: Ignore Muslim Americans at your peril. But before Rep. Bachmann gets out her witch-hunting gear, let me explain.
The president has yet to visit an American mosque during his term. He has reached out to other faith groups, but not ours. Who really still believes he's a secret Muslim? Only crazy birther conspiracy theorists who aren't going to vote for him anyway, so the president's campaign should realize they're missing the boat if he doesn't reach out to the Muslim base.
Oh, why? Muslims are negligible in population, right? Wrong. In all three of the very important swing states, Ohio, Virginia and Florida, the Muslims are a significant segment of the population. Southern and Northern Ohio are chock full of Muslim voters. Northern Virginia and the Richmond area have some of the most influential and educated Muslim voters in America. Finally, there's Florida where Hillsborough County features an established and politically active Muslim constituency among many others. Muslims can put the swing in the vote for President Obama, if they turn out. So, if anyone on the President's campaign happens to read this, please pass this note on to my president:
"We came out for you in 2008, Mr. President. We may not agree with every policy you've put forth, but we'll support you for another four years if you'd only ask us. Otherwise, many Muslim voters may just stay home, especially in Virginia, Ohio and Florida.
I'd like to invite you to make a quick stop at my mosque, the ADAMS Center in Sterling, Va. It's just a 30-minute drive from the White House, and we'd be more than happy to have you come by. We have a very American basketball gym from which you can tell America's Muslims why we should come out to the polls to vote for you. I promise, 5-6 million votes will come your way with one quick campaign stop. Seriously, come talk to us, we vote!"
]]>Persistent Dialogue: A Tale of Two Womentag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2012:/theblog//3.17764582012-08-16T14:03:08-04:002012-10-16T05:12:28-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/Morton Grove, Ill., mosque; paintball guns left ominous paint splatters all over a mosque in Oklahoma; and an acid bomb was thrown at a Lombard, Ill., Islamic school -- all three incidents occurred while the buildings were full of Muslims observing the Ramadan evening prayer service called Tarawih.
Even worse, a mosque was burned to the ground in Joplin, Mo.; and most frightening and tragic, six innocent Sikh followers were gunned down in their Wisconsin gurdwara (place of worship), seemingly because the shooter assumed they were Muslim.
At this same time, some elected officials are publicly spouting false, hateful accusations at the Muslim community. Last week Illinois Congressman Joe Walsh, while speaking at a town hall meeting just miles from both Chicago suburban incidents listed above said, Muslims are trying to "kill us in America every week." U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann, (R-Minn., 6th District), has been on a Muslim witch-hunt that is truly reminiscent of McCarthyism. While even Bachmann's Republican colleagues have called her out, and her fellow Minnesota Rep. Keith Ellison (D-Minn., 5th District), has made repeated attempts to set Bachmann straight, she's sticking with her assertions and gathering a small cadre of fellow Tea Party Republicans to whip up the fear in their districts as well.
Is there a correlation between this political rhetoric and some of these acts of violence against non-Judeo-Christian-adherents-who-also-happen-to-be-brown? I think so, but only God knows what's in the heart and mind of each individual. When these things happen, a person wonders if it's possible to overcome so much animosity from people who are bent on not hearing you or recognizing you as a human being. Your first instinct is to either fight back with equal fury and hatred, or just turn and walk away. Though both options are natural reactions, I learned neither is as effective as persistent dialogue.
Last winter I was a guest on WBUR in Boston's "Hear and Now" on the subject of bias against Muslim Americans. Later that day I received a long letter from a woman who had heard the interview, telling me why Americans hate Muslims and Muslim women.
She wrote that "rational" people are repulsed by Muslims because "the absolute fact that [Muslim] women are nothing. ZERO! You are a possession." She vented hate for many paragraphs and concluded with, "you can talk up a good game Kari, but you are not ever going to be part of America in anything but address. You can live here; don't ask for respect or inclusion, it will never happen. Your poor little daughters will be raised in this repressive religion and it is just sad... "
I was shaking with anger. I typed off a very insulting reply and promptly deleted it as I thought about how Prophet Muhammad had always responded with stoic patience and kindness to his worst detractors. He said, "The best friend in the Sight of God is he who is the well-wisher of his companions, and the best neighbor is one who behaves best towards his neighbors."
I thought, "She just doesn't know me," so I wrote back:
"As a Muslim, my faith dictates that I treat you with respect and kindness, regardless of your behavior towards me."
I went on to tell her that I am a multi-generation American and that my daughters are "active, vibrant young ladies who attend school, play sports, violin, and participate in the high school robotics club and Model United Nations." I told her about my respectful sons, and my loving husband who is a true partner in parenting. I finished with, "I wish you had the opportunity to meet my family, or any of the other 6-to-7 million Muslims who are your fellow Americans. We're open for a discussion and we're open for a visit. Don't hesitate to reach out with sincere curiosity, and you'll be surprised at what a warm response you'll get."
She replied with another insulting letter and ended with this, "Quit looking for acceptance, you're not going to get it for all the reasons I listed below. You be strong in your faith and ignore us. But don't insinuate we are ignorant and need to visit your sweet, gentle, loving home filled with Muslim bliss ... We would have to pretend, you and I, for as I would look at your head scarf the reality of what that means would sour all else."
Oh well, I thought, it's pointless. I mentioned the exchange to a friend of mine who wisely advised that I not give up because she said that this type of exchange could be the "ultimate dialogue ideal," given that it was private and allowed each person to take time to write their thoughts. I was dubious, but because I admire my friend and her experience with community building, I decided to give it one more try. I wrote:
"I won't take your comments personally, because you aren't treating me like a person..." And I then let her know I would not continue the conversation in a hateful manner.
She wrote one more "addendum," as she called it, with more nasty comments and agreed that she was finished with the exchange.
I tried to get her hateful words out of my mind that night, but I felt like a stranger had slapped my face.
The next day I received another e-mail, with the subject line, "An Apology." She wrote, "Kari please accept my sincere apology for my absolutely rude comments. You are right, I am wrong for just going off like a rocket. I bundled every bad thing ever said about Muslims and aimed it at you. You and your family are obviously fine people and yes, my fellow Americans, who I do not know and had no business maligning. I had had a VERY bad day and week (which I will not burden you with) and just took everything out on you."
I could have left it alone, at that point but I wrote back, "Apology accepted because that's where dialogue begins, and can end with mutual respect."
I let her know that if she ever had sincere questions regarding some of the issues she had raised that I would be more than happy to talk to her about them: "My door is open for discussion if it's honest, and sincere. I promise to return the favor."
I heard from her one more time.
"Thank you. I don't know if I would have been so forgiving had this exchange been reversed. I will always be reminded that great differences exists within any religion, and to paint with a broad brush is a mistake. I have always known that, just lost my way in anger. You allowed the burden of my great regret to be lifted and I thank you for that gesture."
When she began this exchange she did not think of me as living, breathing woman with a real life. By engaging her, and patiently reminding her that she was writing to a person, I was able to break through some of her animosity. She may not have known any Muslims before, but now she knows me.
We all have to persist in dialogue with others outside of our "group" because only God knows whose path we may alter away from hatred or violence.]]>A New Lowe for Anti-Muslim Bigotrytag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.11407342011-12-12T12:45:29-05:002012-02-11T05:12:01-05:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/TLC's "All American Muslim." Neither one of us are in love with this quirky reality show, but still, we're happy that TLC took the risk to feature these families in prime time on Sunday nights.
Our personal complaints about the show have been that Dearborn, Mich., isn't like the rest of the country for Muslims; most of us live as the minority in our cities and towns. Dearborn gives these families a very unique experience of being Muslim in America. Secondly, these families are all Arabs; we don't see any South Asian Muslims, or African American Muslims, who together make up the majority of Muslims in America. The show does follow one formerly Catholic guy who has converted to Islam but finds it very difficult to practice the faith; and as a convert, I can say this is not typical either. But, hey, they agreed to let cameras into their homes, and follow them into the maternity ward, the "man-garage" (a Dearborn-centric practice, as far as I know) and the gridiron. I congratulate them for their bravery.
There certainly have been some cringe-worthy moments in the program, particularly those featuring the story of Nina, the successful event planner who, well, doesn't exactly dress like a modest Muslim woman. Nina's story has been about her struggle to start up a nightclub -- not because selling or imbibing alcohol is strictly forbidden in Islam -- but because fellow Dearborn Muslims are telling her it's not a business for a woman. It's annoying that no one is stating the obvious: It's not OK for any Muslim -- man or woman -- to run a nightclub. We're not supposed to drink or sell alcohol!
However, we watch knowing that in our American Muslim communities there are plenty of Ninas, just as there are plenty of normal young married couples having their first baby like the Aoude family, or football coaching dads like Fouad Zaban, or patriotic law enforcement officers like Mike Jaafar. It's a reality show, right? It's their reality, and honestly they do try to inform America about Islam in their own Dearbornesque way. I'm waiting for an ABCD Muslim to come out. (ABCD refers to the slang, American-Born Confused Desi. Folks from the Subcontinent -- India, Pakistan, and Bangladesh -- often refer to themselves as "Desi" which refers to being from their homeland and culture.) I vote for Aasif Mandvi to produce. Not only would it be funny, it'd let America know that Muslims are incredibly diverse in terms of heritage and ethnicity. After that, I'd look for a Black American Muslim show directed by Bill Cosby. Then we'll know we have arrived as Muslims in America.
Sadly, a small group of anti-Islam bigots were able to hoodwink a major American retailer into thinking this innocuous show is some sort of stealth jihad on America. An insignificant fringe group called the Florida Family Association sent a letter to Lowe's stating, "Clearly this program is attempting to manipulate Americans into ignoring the threat of jihad and to influence them to believe that being concerned about the jihad threat would somehow victimize these nice people in this show." Their letter on the website goes on to say, "The show profiles only Muslims that appear to be ordinary folks while excluding many Islamic believers whose agenda poses a clear and present danger to the liberties and traditional values that the majority of Americans cherish."
Yep, it's a big conspiracy. Nina's nightclub is a subtle ruse enabling Muslims in America to take over the country and rewrite the Constitution. First, Nina's cleavage lulls America into thinking, "Oh, Muslims are just like my neighbor next door," and the next thing you know, we'll be all living under Sharia law.
This would be laughably irritating if it wasn't true that Lowe's has pulled their advertising from "All American Muslim." According to Lowe's spokesperson, Katie Cody, "We understand the program raised concerns, complaints, or issues from multiple sides of the viewer spectrum, which we found after doing research of news articles and blogs covering the show." What viewer spectrum, other than the scaredy-cat bigots who follow the Florida Family Association's hateful blog?
Since the story broke, I've noticed strong protests and boycotting declarations from non-Muslim Americans on the Lowe's Facebook page (make sure you click the "everyone" view at the top of the page or you'll only see what Lowe's posts), on Twitter and on blogs. Hooray! My fellow Americans are coming through against bigotry in all its manifestations, even in support of whacky reality shows.
Now, my husband and I will be watching "All American Muslim" with a purpose; we'll be carefully noting who is advertising during the hour-long show, and we will be buying those products, knowing that those corporations don't cater to bigots. And we won't be buying anything from Lowe's, not even their beautiful flowers in the springtime, unless they rescind this decision. There are plenty of hardware stores, garden centers and other home improvement stores in our neighborhood.]]>A Traditional Muslim Thanksgivingtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.10999872011-11-23T07:19:06-05:002012-01-23T05:12:01-05:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
who taught the remaining Pilgrims how to cultivate maize, and to hunt and fish, our school play might have been very different.
While researching the origins of this national holiday, I was surprised to discover that Thanksgiving wasn't a new or unique practice among these religious new immigrants to the land. After barely surviving a ruinous drought the next year, a second Thanksgiving celebration in Plymouth was declared by Governor William Bradford. However, he first called for a religious fast to express thankfulness to God, which was then followed by a feast day. Annual days of fasting and thanksgiving were common practice among other New England settlements.
Thanksgiving didn't become an institutionalized event until the midst of the Civil War. in 1863, President Lincoln declared the fourth Thursday of November to be an official day for Americans to "fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquility and Union." Since then the last Thursday of November has been an American holiday with the exception of two years during the Great Depression. President Roosevelt moved Thanksgiving to the third Thursday of November to stimulate Christmas retail sales, since advertising and promoting goods for Christmas before the Thanksgiving holiday was considered to be in bad taste.* The impetus for this date change signals the erosion of the religious focus of Thanksgiving to something more secular. In 2011, it's fair to say that we as a nation consider the modern expression of Thanksgiving to be getting together with family or friends, overeating, football, and a day to rest up before Black Friday.
While the religious significance of Thanksgiving has been lost for many Americans, Muslim Americans will say that it's not lost for us.
This original Thanksgiving celebration, preceded by fasting, is very familiar to Islamic practices. Muslims observe a month-long fast during the holy month of Ramadan, followed by the celebration of Eid al Fitr. Muslims should also fast on the day of Arafah in preparation for the next three days of celebration of Eid al-Adha. Devout Muslims follow the example of the Blessed Prophet Muhammad by fasting on Mondays and Thursdays as well.
We ritually express gratefulness to God in our five daily prayers with the Opening Prayer, Al Fatiha:
In the name of God, Most Gracious, Most Merciful.
Praise be to God, the Cherisher and Sustainer of the worlds;
Most Gracious, Most Merciful;
Master of the Day of Judgment.
Thee (alone) do we worship, and whose aid we seek.
Show us the straight way,
The way of those on whom Thou hast bestowed Thy Grace, those whose (portion) is not wrath, and who go not astray.
After completing the ritual prayers, we recite dhikr. Traditionally, dhikr, (akin to saying a rosary), is expressing praise and gratitude to God. We say, alhamdoulillah (all praise and thanks are due to God), Subhan'Allah, (Glory be to God) and Allahu Akbar (God is Greatest) 33 times each -- which adds up to praising God at least 495 times a day with all 5 prayers. We do our best to have our lips moist with thanks and praise for God all day long.
The supplications given during prayer, and the ritual 99 words of thanks and praise after each prayer are only the beginning of a Muslim's expression of gratitude to God. Listening to Muslims speaking to one another you'll hear phrases like, insha'Allah, (if God wills it so), when speaking of something in the future; when the discussion surrounds a beautiful thing such as an autumn tree in all it's flaming glory, a Muslim will say, "subhan'Allah" to remind himself that God created the miracle of the changing seasons. If I ask a Muslim, "how are you?" he will likely say, "alhamdoulillah". This answer doesn't tell me if his roof was fixed, or if he got the hoped-for job promotion, but I will know this person is living in a state of God-consciousness with the ultimate belief that we have no control over the universe, or a leaking roof.
Another myth about Muslims in America can be put to rest. Muslims will be patriotically observing Thanksgiving all across America as a day of gratefulness, topped off with halal turkey and exotic takes on side dishes that rival the American green bean casserole and sweet potatoes.
While Muslims give thanks to God every day, the fourth Thursday of November will always be remembered with special consideration of the difficult times faced by America's first immigrants. They arrived on the shores of this spectacular land with great hope to freely practice their faith, and live peacefully among the folks who were already living here.
Sound familiar?
*Known as Franksgiving, the earlier Thanksgiving date only lasted two years. There was great public outcry against the change; folks felt it dishonored President Lincoln. Under political pressure, FDR signed a bill into law restoring the fourth Thursday of November as the permanent date for Thanksgiving.]]>Muslims Rising Above The Ashes Of Misunderstandingtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.9410952011-09-09T10:22:02-04:002011-11-09T05:12:02-05:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
It does.
The inevitable media coverage will build now until Sept. 12, when folks will try to get back to normal life still smarting from the big press blitz. Muslim Americans will have no choice but to be one of the featured main dishes in this media feasting frenzy, and we will do our part to help heal the wounds caused by those who falsely claimed our faith by telling you again that Islam had no part in this tragedy.
Over these last 10 years, the events of 9/11 taught my faith community that we had been neglecting outreach to the greater society. We've had to step away from the cultural comfort of our mosques, Islamic schools and homes to shake the hands of our neighbors who have been there all along, but with whom we may not have engaged with serious effort or effect. Ten years later, Muslims have made these gestures of friendship to the point that a large percentage of the folks who wanted to know us better, now do. There are others who simply refuse to let go of the bigotry and stereotyping of Muslims in America. You may know them: They have their eyes closed with their hands over their ears singing, "la, la, la. I don't hear you."
For the next 10 years, I am hopeful that our nation will leave these crooners of ignorance out of our society's narrative. We've already seen some of Islam's biggest haters recently outed for propagating bigotry under the guise of being "terrorism experts." Robert Spencer and Pamela Geller have been exposed for their racist and bigoted craziness through a Norwegian mass murderer, Anders Behring Breivik, who referred to their hate-filled blogs and rhetoric many times in his insanely xenophobic manifesto. The Center for American Progress recently released a report, "Fear, Inc., The Roots of the Islamophobia Network in America" that clearly outlines the organized machine operating a small empire of hatred. Besides Spencer and Geller, the report highlights major players like David Yerushalmi (recently featured in a New York Timesarticle outlining his role in this smear campaign) and Fox News (a network owned by the now infamous News Corp and Rupert Murdoch). These people won't stop their work in unfairly vilifying the American Muslim community, but really, how long can that leaky bucket of lies hold water?
It's been a challenge to refute every slam and slur against Islam, but Muslims try to follow the example of the Blessed Prophet Muhammad, who persistently treated his neighbors with respect despite their derision. America's Muslims look forward to our faith community rising above these ashes of misunderstandings to find ourselves welcome as fellow citizens. To make this climb, we know our focus must stay on our youth. There are thousands of young, dynamic American Muslims already creating change in our nation's high schools, colleges and workplaces. Their parents have put heart and soul into raising these young people -- especially within the difficult context of the last 10 years. They have been nurturing their kids with love and giving them confidence to be American and Muslim in the same sentence. We have great and lofty expectations of their futures, and these young people are not failing any of us.
Young Muslims are making advances in medicine, science and technology. Look at the list of young doctors in any teaching hospital and you'll see Muslim names galore. Most major corporations include a cadre of brilliant Muslim engineers. Beyond technology and medicine (traditionally the career paths of choice for Muslims in the U.S.), we are now seeing young Muslims choosing to pursue careers in the less lucrative, but necessary fields of public service, social services and education. And finally, we are seeing more and more Muslim names coming up in the arts and communications fields. This is a hopeful sign for the future, as public perceptions often change through the media in all its forms. Watch Musa Syeed, a writer and independent filmmaker to produce great movies and documentaries, as well as Qasim Bashir, who wrote and directed "Mooz-lum: The Movie." There are thousands of upcoming Muslim journalists, writers, artists, photographers and performers that we will be sure to hear more from in the next 10 years. I'm proud to claim these honest young people who are giving us honest portrayals of Muslims through the arts and media.
We now have young people studying to become Islamic scholars within the American context through the newly instituted Zaytuna College, whose mission is "to educate and prepare morally committed professional, intellectual, and spiritual leaders, who are grounded in the Islamic scholarly tradition and conversant with the cultural currents and critical ideas shaping modern society." We look forward to the graduates of Zaytuna to actively lead and positively shape the American Muslim community for generations to come.
Young Muslims are the backbone of American-Muslim philanthropic efforts, and what they lack in financial resources, they are making up with their time and hard work. There isn't a single charitable event that doesn't depend on student volunteers for its success. Muslims Without Borders has taken this legacy one step further by forming a full-blown relief agency run solely by Muslim students.
I recently had a reporter ask me if it wasn't too big of a burden for my kids to grow up as identifiable Muslims during these last 10 years. It was a sincere question, but I wondered how else she thought I should have raised them. Later, I realized that there are some Muslim parents who have discouraged their children from expressing their faith in any way from fear of reprisal. Recently, my heart hurt for the young checker at the grocery store who told me in a wistful voice that she was "technically a Muslim," but that her parents didn't want her to practice the faith in case she'd suffer here as a new immigrant. I don't know if that statement reflected more poorly on our society, or on her parents; however, for the most part, Muslim families in America are raising their children to be proud of their beliefs and are teaching them that God is infinitely Merciful and Gracious to those who struggle for His sake. These young people who are proud of their noble faith realize that despite some people's innocent ignorance of Islam, or other's outright bigotry, the majority of our neighbors and greater community will have respect for them as long as their character and behavior follow the example of the Blessed Prophet Muhammad. To put it plain and simple, we are raising these young people to trust in God and do good things with their lives.
Muslims in this country are looking forward to seeing an America that once again says we have had enough of hate and fear. We hope everyone will recognize that our country becomes more beautiful with each new color and creed we accept as our own.
Muslim 9/11 Reflections: Islam In America 10 Years Later]]>Ramadan Lessons from My Kidstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.9287742011-08-20T11:11:43-04:002011-10-20T05:12:02-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
God knows us, and is as close to us as the deoxygenated blood that rushes from our brain to our heart. I told our kids, "Only God knows if you're really fasting, and you're not fasting this month for Dad or me, and you're not fasting to impress your non-Muslim friends with your self-control; you're fasting for God." This seemed to strike my teens at that moment. I think it was the first time we all realized that they are adults in regard to their spiritual lives. My husband and I are there to guide them and help through life until they can manage on their own, but as far as their choices and beliefs go, it's their life now. Their relationship with God is personal and private. As their mother, I need to learn to accept that the way by which they to choose to develop as human beings, and as Muslims, is pretty much out of my control. We gave them the foundation of our beliefs, but it's up to them to decide how high and strong they want to build their spiritual home.
I also learned this month that what may inspire me may not inspire my children. And the reverse is equally true. This point was illustrated last week when the kids and I went to a nearby town's small library. Here some wonderful Muslims of FAITH organize a weekly food distribution effort every year during Ramadan called Herndon Without Hunger for needy families in our area. Muslims believe that charitable acts done during the month of Ramadan are especially blessed. Upon arriving to help, we were shocked to see a line stretching around the block with hundreds of families of all ethnicities and ages waiting in very hot and humid weather.
My 9-year-old stood at my side as I helped people to navigate the line in an orderly way as it wound around the library building. My two teenagers went in to help at the food distribution area. After a few minutes, I saw my son slowly and patiently walking behind an elderly man, carrying the man's bag of rice in his right hand and a bag of canned goods in his left. He helped the man get out of the library and over to the bus stop shelter where the man waited for the next bus. Next, I saw my daughter doing the same for another senior, and at the moody age of 15, I spied her brilliant smile that has been so often missing lately. We have a tradition in Islam where we say we can see God's light, or noor, in a person's face. I saw the noor in my children's faces that day, and it came from being able to give of themselves to others. They were thanking people for letting them carry their food for them, and I was thanking God for such beautiful children.
There were so many people there that FAITH ran out of food that day, and they had to turn away a large crowd of people who had been waiting for a long time. It bothered my kids that those folks would go home with nothing. As we got in the car to drive home in time to break our fast, they asked if I would drop them there next week, but much earlier so they could help unload the truck. "We didn't get to do enough," my daughter said.
Later that week, we were talking about feeling connected to God. I asked my teenagers to tell my youngest daughter about when they first felt really close to God, imagining they would mention being at one of the larger mosques we've visited during Ramadan evening prayers, or while reading a particularly beautiful passage of the Quran as I have been so inspired. To my surprise, my son said he first felt it while in Cub Scouts at our mosque, and my 15-year-old nodded with understanding. I thought, "Cub Scouts made him feel spiritually connected to God -- what?" Then, I heard him tell his little sister, "Don't worry, soon you'll be old enough to do bigger service projects, then you'll know what we're talking about." I then recalled how exhilarated they looked last fall after participating in the National Muslim-Jewish Twinning Day of Service where and the teens from both religions joined efforts to do a storm clean up in Maryland. It sounded like hard work, but they had been so happy when they came home that day.
My son's words made me realize that these kids feel most connected to God and their faith when they are helping others for God's sake. They don't need my list of spiritual goals; they just need me to provide a ride to the volunteer spots. ]]>Ramadan Acts of Worship Connect Us to the Suffering of Otherstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.9162112011-08-05T11:54:58-04:002011-10-05T05:12:01-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/here.
Each fasting day during August will be a trial on my body and my spiritual resolve. With a decaffeinated, empty stomach, and a thirst that is difficult to tolerate, this act of fasting connects me to someone else. My fasting draws me to the story of a woman in Somalia who has been walking for miles to reach a refugee center; years of civil chaos combined with a devastating drought have ravaged her land, her body, and her children. The family is traveling through Eastern Africa, walking for miles on foot in brutal temperatures with hot, dust-filled wind blowing in their faces. She'll thank God if they all make it alive to the feeding center. The baby she is carrying no longer gets milk from her breast; she feels him shrinking in her arms as she walks. The little hands of her other small children clutch at her with less and less strength, and their voices have become so weak it's almost impossible to hear them above the howl of the wind. I hear her tell them that they must put their trust in God and keep moving. I feel her thirst as she utters words of prayer with every precious drop of water she goes without to give to her children for their survival.
My act of fasting brings empathy for her that is greater than any ordinary day; I can't forget her story. I remember her when my head is dizzy with thirst after running out on a simple errand in triple-digit heat. I can step back into my air-conditioned home; she can't. I won't complain of my exhaustion from too little sleep because I know she won't find a sheltering place to rest in the harsh landscape on her journey toward help. I'm hungry, but I can break my fast in a celebratory mood when the day is finished; I'll take a cooling sip of clean, filtered water and literally feel it splash down in my empty gut at sundown. As I feel my body reviving, I remember the Somali woman's fast has been going on since well-before Ramadan, and it will continue past the 30 days I will observe. She is forced into her suffering by circumstances beyond her control, and she is powerless to change them. She's not thinking of me, but I'm praying for her.
As I slice up fruit to refresh my family after their 15 hours of fasting, I keep seeing the Somali woman. How can I set a table with food and water when she has none? How can I watch my teenagers laugh and express joy at a simple glass of water without thinking of the Somali woman's broken heart when she has to tell her children she has nothing for them; the crops failed, the livestock died, and food prices have risen so high she has no way to feed them. The empathy for her suffering created by my act of fasting is only worth something to her -- and to me -- if I do something about it.
I can help make sure she has the ability to feed herself and the children through our Islam-mandated charity called zakat. Zakat is an almsgiving tax that every Muslim that has the means will pay this month. My husband and I will calculate our savings and pay roughly 2.5% of that savings to a charity we choose. We have decided to give our zakat to aid the Somali woman and her children, and the thousands like her. Our donation won't make a dent in the suffering, but if every reader who has ever been hot, thirsty, or hungry, and has the ability to cool down, quench their thirst and fill their belly makes a donation to relief efforts in Eastern Africa, there may be some improvement in the situation. Our donations will allow these families to find some relief in the shade of a tent, drink clean water, and begin to revive their bodies with nourishment.
We are sending our donation to Islamic Relief because they have a 4-star rating by Charity Navigator, the largest charity evaluator in the United States, along with many more recognitions. Islamic Relief has been working in Eastern Africa for 20 years. They have medical camps, drought relief, and feeding programs already operating on the ground. You can find other charities that are also working in the Horn of Africa as well. Just make sure they have an established means of delivering food and aid where it's needed.
Ramadan forces us to slow our lives down and focus on our worship, and our spirit. God has asked me to fast for His sake, but I am the one who needs it, because without it, it would be too easy to distance myself from the suffering of others. My Ramadan prayers go toward the relief workers who labor in unforgiving conditions for very little pay, and my sincerest prayers will go to the Somali lady who is my test from God during this holy month.
]]>Open Letter to President Obama from a Muslim Familytag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8643992011-05-19T17:39:36-04:002011-07-19T05:12:01-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
Along with many American Muslims, my family and I listened to your speech today on the Middle East and North Africa. While I appreciate your encouraging statements to the people of the Muslim world -- particularly to those who are currently fighting for dignity and civil rights in their own lands -- I also couldn't help feeling that many Americans are not setting the example of which you spoke when it comes to our own Muslim citizens.
Currently, 20 states have introduced anti-Muslim legislation, with more pending. Some of our country's lawmakers and politicians have made very bigoted inflammatory comments about Muslims and Islam. Very recently, Tennessee, under extreme pressure, rewrote a bill that would have made it a crime punishable by 15 years in prison for Muslims to worship together in groups of two or more. Organized groups are staging hate rallies against Muslims building houses of worship around the country. Local municipalities are playing the zoning game by zoning Islamic schools and mosques out of the community. Mosque playgrounds are being torched. Muslim family homes, property, and mosques are being vandalized. Children are being bullied and harassed because they are Muslim. Shockingly, last week the Editor of the Gainesville Times in Florida published a letter that called for the expulsion of all Muslims from America. Recently, several Muslim clerics, and also a young Muslim woman were pulled off airplanes for no other reason other than they were dressed in recognizable Muslim attire. This is all being seen through the modern technology's "window into the wider world" that you mentioned in your speech, but like all windows, you can also look from the world outside and see what's happening inside.
What does it say to the world when our President speaks about rights for people in the Muslim world that "include free speech; the freedom of peaceful assembly; freedom of religion" when our own people are being hindered from building mosques, and schools, and our right to worship freely is even being threatened?
Mr. President, Muslims in America know that you do not stand with this kind of bigotry and hatred. During your announcement of the killing of Osama bin Laden you said,
As we do, we must also reaffirm that the United States is not -- and never will be -- at war with Islam. I've made clear, just as President Bush did shortly after 9/11, that our war is not against Islam.
We appreciated this statement, however, judging by the uptick in anti-Muslim incidents since the death of bin Laden, the words weren't enough to resonate with those in America who feel threatened by their Muslim neighbors.
Mr. President, Muslims need your leadership, your strong voice, and your support in this regard. You are a friend to the world's Muslims, especially those fighting for their freedom, but Muslims need your friendship here on our own soil. Anti-Islam bigotry is getting worse in America -- not better.
In our home, we love and respect you as our President; will you show us the same love and respect as a patriotic American family by speaking out strongly against this growing trend of anti-Muslim bigotry?
]]>Telling Muslim Women What Not to Weartag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8480802011-04-12T18:16:58-04:002011-06-12T05:12:01-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/niqab or burqa in public. French President Sarkozy said in 2009, "The issue of the burqa is not a religious issue, it is a question of freedom and of women's dignity ... The burqa is not a religious sign; it is a sign of the subjugation, of the submission of women. I want to say solemnly that it will not be welcome on our territory."
This statement by Sarkozy isn't going to save any Muslim woman's self-respect or free her from her oppressor by forcing her indoors and out of public life. If a woman is being forced to wear the burqa or niqab by a dictatorial husband or father, the French have just made it more difficult for her to break free from her oppressor. However, most Muslim women choose to wear the niqab of their own free will, and with this ban France has just pushed another segment of their Muslim population further from the mainstream. France outlawed the hijab, or the simple headscarf in public schools and institutions in 2004, and it has forced girls who want an education to either compromise their religious values, or compromise their academic and professional future. Where's the liberté in that?
A small minority of Muslim women in certain parts of the world wear what is known as the abaya (black cloak) and the niqab (face veil). It is known as a burqa in South and Central Asia and seen most often as the blue full-body veil worn by Afghan women. This form of covering is the manifestation of the strictest interpretation of modesty in Islam. Women who choose this practice consider themselves seriously observant Muslims and believe this form of dress allows them to move about the outside world while protecting their dignity.
People get nervous around these women. I have often heard the refrain, "You need to see a person's face to judge their character." I disagree based on my own experience with Muslim women who wear the niqab. I have always known them as highly disciplined, and solid in their faith convictions despite society's derision. They believe in keeping their physical attributes out of the public conversation by covering. While I don't subscribe to this strict interpretation of Islamic modesty, I respect the woman who does.
Case in point: I had been corresponding with a young woman in regard to a part-time position on the behalf of one of my clients. The job would include conducting various marketing events within her local Muslim community. Because she lives in another city, I had no chance to meet her until this weekend when I traveled there. Because I am familiar with this city's Muslim community, I was not surprised to meet her wearing a black abaya and black headscarf. She and I had coffee in a café, and as the interview progressed she proved to be everything her emails and our previous phone conversations led me to believe about her without the benefit of a face-to-face meeting. She is an extremely enthusiastic and professional young woman filled with exciting ideas for marketing my client's product. Toward the end of the conversation she mentioned that she usually wore the niqab face veil but she decided that she would not don it for our meeting in case I would be uncomfortable. I told her I wouldn't have been bothered by it in the least. I felt sorry she had come out without her veil on my account -- but to be fair, she didn't know me. While she knew that I'm also a Muslim, she couldn't be sure I wouldn't discriminate against her on behalf of my client. After I assured her that her faith practices are her own business, and that my client has great respect for Muslims, she visibly relaxed and we continued our conversation.
Her character, personality and professionalism were evident long before I saw her clothing, or her face. In her American city she happily moves about her neighborhood dressed the way the French have now outlawed. She told me the Muslims are an integral part of her city's greater community, and she is very comfortable wherever she goes in her graceful, black garments. I will recommend that my client hire this young woman; I'm completely confident that she is going to far exceed the expectations we had for this position.
As I've written before, if you strip a woman of what she feels is her dignity, you'll have a lot of indignant women. We all know American women can become pretty indignant if someone tells us what not to wear.
]]>The Muslim Family Response to Hatredtag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2011:/theblog//3.8320832011-03-07T21:40:43-05:002011-05-25T18:35:25-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
Families who had given up a relaxing Sunday evening at home to attend their community's chicken dinner fundraiser were forced to walk past an angry mob that had gathered hours earlier in protest of their banquet. Shouts of "We don't want you here! Go back home! Go back home! Go back home!" and awful insults to the Prophet Muhammad were yelled as Muslim parents and their children entered the community center. Local news covered the protest, and a video was made of the ugly scene. Please take a few moments and view it here.
In the last year there have been quite a few anti-Muslim demonstrations around the country -- in front of mosques, at city council meetings, in marches around small towns, and other places -- but watching adults screaming, "Terrorists!" at children made me cry. Local Orange County residents shouted at the Muslim families, "You beat your women and you rape your children!" And, "Take your sharia and go home, you terrorist lovers. Your hands are bloody! Your money is bloody! Get out!"
This protest included elected officials standing in front of American flags spewing intolerant rhetoric aimed at their Muslim constituents. Deborah Pauly, local Councilwoman & Vice Chair of the Orange County GOP said, "I know quite a few Marines who would be very happy to help these terrorists to an early meeting in paradise." To the surprise of many, two United States Congressmen stood and spoke in support of the protests at this rally as well.
Things may get worse, Rep. Peter King (R-NY), Chair of the Homeland Security Committee of the House of Representatives, is holding McCarthy-like Congressional hearings beginning this Thursday on the "Radicalization of American Muslims." Quite a bit of the proposed witness list has looked like a who's who of Islamophobes, and we Muslim Americans are holding our collective breath waiting for the fallout from these hearings. We wonder: will we see more hate mobs outside our mosques or events due to hysteria being whipped up by these hearings? It's certainly possible, and Muslims around the country are strategizing on how to respond to protect our faith community from more bigoted protests, or even dangerous attacks on our places of worship and individuals.
Many have commented on the poise and dignity displayed by the Muslims at the Yorba Linda event. They marvel at how those children and teenagers walked through that line of screaming maniacs without responding in kind. I think I know why they were able to do it so gracefully.
Muslims have the Quran and the example of the life and words of the Blessed Prophet Muhammad. Like all of God's Prophets, he suffered greatly while delivering God's Word to the people in the early days of being a Messenger of God. The Quraish of Makkah, Muhammad's own friends and relatives, turned on him after he began to receive divine revelations of monotheism. Muhammad had been a well-respected member of one of the society's most prestigious tribal families, but when he declared that God forbade idol worship his place in society disappeared. Many people in the city turned on him with spite and malice. People threw rotting offal onto his back while he was prostrated in prayer; they threatened his life and those lives of his followers. He eventually had to flee from his oppressors in the night to save his life.
His early companions suffered greatly as well. One well-known example is of Bilal, a young Abyssinian (from modern day Ethiopia), who was tortured and dragged through the streets and then laid out on the hot sands while heavy rocks were piled on his chest in the effort to get him to renounce his belief in One God. It didn't work. Bilal was a constant companion to Muhammad thereafter, and he was Islam's first muezzin, the one who calls the faithful to prayer. The early Muslims remained strong, and did not compromise their beliefs, nor did they respond to the hate from the lowest depths of their character. Instead, they held strong to the words of God and drew their resolve from His message, and His Messenger. The accounts of persecution are many; we relate them to our children as they learn about Islam.
We teach our children that if those early Companions of the Blessed Prophet Muhammad could withstand physical torture, exile from their homes, and severe condemnation from family and neighbors, we can withstand a few idiots with signs and a bullhorn. We talk about how the early Muslims were a small minority among a majority of people who didn't understand them, and who often hated them. We celebrate the stories of those faithful who stood firm in their belief in One God.
When teaching our faith we also use contemporary examples of Muslims who struggle for justice through peaceful and dignified ways. The Egyptian Revolution is a prime example of Muslims standing strong for justice through nonviolent means. Our children watched the young people of Egypt peacefully win their freedom from oppression with love for each other -- Muslim and Christian both. We talk about how it's our obligation to God to continue this noble legacy of peaceful living and worship despite adversity.
My husband and I don't shield our children from harsh realities like this hate rally-it would be pointless to do it. They have experienced bigotry in small, insidious ways on many occasions. They've been called a terrorist out of earshot of teachers, they've felt the disdain from various people in public places, they've been shunned when it's time to pick teams in gym, or give out party invitations; they've heard people tell us, "go back home," when we are home.
However, it's our duty to God as Muslim parents to teach our kids to recall the child who befriended them when they were new in school, or the daily smile from the driver as he opens the yellow school bus doors, or our neighbor who told them they were the best behaved children she had ever met. It's all a matter of how you look at life, and what you choose to focus on. My kids are doing their best to stay strong in their faith, ignore the insults, and to cherish the love they get from friends and family-just as those families in Yorba Linda did.
My family wants to tell the Orange County Muslim families that we, and America's Muslim community are proud of them for showing the world what true Muslim character is all about. ]]>A Christmas Card From a Muslim Daughtertag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2010:/theblog//3.7959342010-12-20T07:06:42-05:002011-05-25T18:20:30-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
Like many American homes, there wasn't much Christ in my family's Christmas. There would always be some discussion surrounding the reason for our celebration, but we didn't attend church services or talk too much about what my parents believed. The beautiful nativity on the mantle, hand-painted by my grandmother, was flanked by tasteful, secular decorations. This led to a kind of vague confusion between the miraculous birth of Jesus, and the magical feat of Santa Claus zipping around the world in one night.
Nostalgia not withstanding, thinking about Christmas is now far more meaningful to me on a spiritual level than it was when I was young. The fact that Muslims accept and believe in the virgin birth of Jesus has been a golden thread that links my childhood Christmas memories to my very fulfilling adult life as a Muslim.
The world's more than 1.5 billion Muslims would like their Christian neighbors to know that we believe in the Annunciation; in the Quran we read that God sent the angels to Mary:
"When the angels said: O Mary, surely God gives you good news with a Word from Him of one whose name is the Messiah, Jesus, son of Mary, worthy of regard in this world and the hereafter and of those who are made near to God. And he shall speak to the people when in the cradle and when of old age, and he shall be one of the good ones." Quran 3:45-46
The Quran has only one chapter named after a woman; Chapter 19 is titled "Mary", or as it is translated in Arabic -- Maryam. The Quran tells us that the infant Jesus, (or Isa as it is translated in Arabic), spoke from Mary's arms:
"...He said: Surely I am a servant of God; He has given me the Book and made me a prophet; And He has made me blessed wherever I may be, and He has enjoined on me prayer and charity so long as I live; And dutiful to my mother, and He has not made me insolent, unblessed; And peace on me on the day I was born, and on the day I die, and on the day I am raised to life.'" Quran 19:30-33*
While Muslims don't celebrate Christmas, we believe in the awesome and miraculous birth of Jesus, in the miracles he performed by God's Grace, and in the message of love and peace Jesus brought to the world.
I hope my family knows that I am more attached to the account of Jesus and Mary than I ever was as a child, now that I am a practicing Muslim. It is a vital part of my faith; a faith that I share with over a billion and a half people around the world.
This is my Christmas card to my family, and all my Christian friends and neighbors: Peace on earth and goodwill toward men.
*Muslims understand this verse in reference to the to death of Jesus after the second coming and resurrection on the Day of Judgment. See Quran, 4:157]]>Muslim and American: Staying True to Faith and Countrytag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2010:/theblog//3.7712192010-10-29T08:42:20-04:002011-05-25T18:05:23-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
When Bill O'Reilly said, "Muslims killed us on 9/11" on The View, Juan Williams backed O'Reilly's assertion by stating on Fox's O'Reilly Factor, "When I get on the plane, I got to tell you, if I see people who are in Muslim garb and I think, you know, they are identifying themselves first and foremost as Muslims, I get worried. I get nervous."
This was an islamophobic rally cry on Juan Williams' part as he heartily contributed to the nightly Muslim-bashing on the Fox News Network. He did not apologize, and NPR terminated him last week stating, "His remarks on The O'Reilly Factor this past Monday were inconsistent with our editorial standards and practices, and undermined his credibility as a news analyst with NPR."
I will be writing a check to my local NPR station for this season's pledge drive.
It's a fact that not one of the terrorists who ever tried or succeeded to harm people on a plane was dressed in "Muslim garb". It's like comedian/activist Azhar Usman said several years ago in his comedy act, "If I was a crazy, fundamentalist terrorist Muslim about to hijack a plane, this probably wouldn't be the disguise I'd go with," referring to his beard and Islamic prayer cap.
Like an observant Jew who wears a yarmulke, or a faithful Christian woman who wears a cross around her neck, Muslims also have symbols of their faith, and some, like the woman's hijab, are believed to be requirements of the faith. A display of one's beliefs should not be deemed a lack of patriotism, or a security threat.
Any person of any faith will identify himself as a believer first, and a patriot second. When I wear my modest attire, including a scarf on my head, I am saying "God and Country" -- in that order. When you see me or any of my fellow American Muslims on the street, in the marketplace, workplace or even boarding a plane, you should know we are exactly who we say we are, Muslims and Americans. We are being truthful about who we are and what we believe. What's scary about that?
Muslims are part of the American landscape. We're not going anywhere. I am a patriotic, multi-generation American who also happens to be a Muslim, and I for one will not change or bend my beliefs and practices because it may help someone else feel more comfortable. I'll continue to endure the hateful stares when I fly, but my fellow passengers can rest easy; I've only got hair under my scarf.
]]>Being a Good Neighbor to America's Muslimstag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2010:/theblog//3.6852832010-08-18T21:19:16-04:002011-05-25T17:25:21-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
The cornerstone of Ramadan is the fast. Briefly, a fasting Muslim rises before dawn for an early meal with plenty of water. The dawn prayer is performed, and then maybe some reading of the Quran, or going back to bed before work or school. The fasting Muslim goes about his or her normal day: work, school, and caring for children, but without the benefit of food or water.
At sunset, the fasting person will break his or her fast by thanking God, "Oh God, I fasted for You and I believe in You and I break my fast with Your sustenance," and then traditionally he or she will eat a date and drink water, milk, or juice. He or she will then pray the Mahgrib, or sundown prayer, and eat dinner.
Afterwards, many Muslim families go to their mosque for the Isha (evening) prayer. Many also stay for the special Taraweeh prayer, where one thirtieth of the Quran is recited each night, and therefore it is heard in its entirety at the conclusion of this month of fasting. This summer, Taraweeh prayers are finished around 11 pm.
By the end of the month, a fasting Muslim is usually reluctant to see it end. Having discipline over our bodies, focusing on our relationship with God, striving to give in charitable acts, and practicing extreme patience with ourselves, our family, and our friends gives fasting Muslims a tremendous feeling of well-being and empowerment. Ramadan usually has the effect of a total spiritual reset.
How can you be a good neighbor to your Muslim friends, relatives, students or co-workers? You can begin by respecting their dedication to their faith during this month. Congratulate a Muslim by saying, "Happy Ramadan," and watch how a smile can warm the room from such a simple recognition. I've outlined some practical advice for teachers, co-workers and visitors to a Muslim home or mosque during Ramadan to help those who wish to be good neighbors.
Educators: School will begin towards the end of the fasting month in most places around the country; children as young as 10 may be attempting to fast. Teens probably will be fasting, and teachers and school administrators should allow the kids to spend their lunch period in the library and afford them a quiet place for their midday prayer. Don't assume all children will be fasting; let them or their parents tell you if they are participating.
Muslim students are usually a small minority and may feel shy about discussing their faith traditions, but teachers can make a tremendous difference by simply recognizing Islam and Muslims in positive ways in the classroom. The Islamic months follow the lunar calendar, so the dates for these important religious observations come about 10 days sooner every year. Lumping Ramadan in with a "holidays around the world" lesson plan in December is too late. Let your Muslim students know you value their traditions by recognizing it with a short lesson sometime before the end of Ramadan, (around September 10 this year). Many kids will say they don't want to be singled out as "the Muslim" in the class, but they should appreciate having their tradition recognized as part of America's cultural quilt. There are two picture books about Ramadan recommended for elementary school educators on my blog, written for educators and Muslim parents.
Co-workers: If you work with a fasting Muslim, your curiosity about their traditions and general interest in how their month is progressing will be enough to show support and respect. Many Muslims have wonderful memories and interesting stories to tell of their first fast, or of their family Ramadan traditions; ask them to tell you one.
Iftar invitations: If you are invited to attend an iftar (the meal for breaking fast) at a Muslim friend's home, go! You'll be treated to wonderful food and will experience firsthand some lovely faith traditions. If you wish to bring a small gift, remember that alcohol or pork products are both forbidden for Muslims. Remove your shoes upon entering the home, and greet everyone in the room. Many Muslims do not shake hands with unrelated members of the opposite sex, and some Muslim social gatherings tend to be loosely gender-separated, so be prepared to part ways with your spouse.
When the adhan (the Arabic call to prayer) is heard, it is time to break the fast. Take a date and enjoy a sip of water in a spirit of camaraderie.
Whether you are at a large gathering or just visiting a family, they will all likely gather to pray, either right after this quick refreshment, or maybe after the meal itself. The prayer entails lining up in straight lines with the men in the front and the women in the back rows, with one person leading the prayer. The congregational prayer takes about five minutes; afterwards, many will remain sitting for a few moments of personal contemplation of God, and most will then perform an individual prayer ritual and then return to the gathering.
If you attend an iftar at the mosque, much of the above description also applies. You should wear modest attire (for women, long sleeves with slacks or a long skirt are appropriate). Some Muslim communities will require that women cover their hair in the mosque, so a light scarf to drape over the head is recommended. The iftar may be held in a community room, or in the prayer space itself. Many mosques are converted churches or community centers, making each mosque's iftar unique. Finally, you will be invited to view the Maghrib prayer service and share the community dinner afterward. Be curious and open, ask questions, and enjoy yourself.
Given the current anti-Islam climate around the country in the media and on the ground, warm gestures of respect and friendship will be returned in multitudes by America's Muslims.
]]>Why We Should Welcome More Mosques in Americatag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2010:/theblog//3.6528852010-07-20T16:20:31-04:002011-05-25T17:05:23-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
Muslims often say America is the best place to practice Islam -- not the easiest place -- but the best place to be a Muslim. In many parts of the country Muslims still struggle to come together for worship and community life; and when a mosque is finally built, different challenges arise. These places of worship are being vandalized; hate mail and death threats are left on mosque answering and fax machines; and worshippers have been targeted while at prayer. Small, very vocal groups are whipping up the hatred and bigotry with a lot of paranoid and xenophobic rhetoric. However, despite this adversity, Muslims in America can vote, we have the freedom to assemble, the freedom of speech, and the freedom to practice Islam the way we choose. This cannot always be said in many Muslim-majority countries.
Muslims in America are free from the shackles of culture that so often bear a weight on their understanding of Islam. Because we are an incredibly diverse group of people who frequently have only Islam in common, we are deliberate and thoughtful about what is being taught in our mosques. American Islamic centers are living and breathing institutions that have evolved and matured over time. The statement, "this is the way we always did it back home" doesn't hold water in an American mosque. Before 9/11 and after, I've seen many cultural practices and extreme ideologies be dismissed in America's mosques while the clean and pure Islamic practices are implemented and embraced.
The larger and stronger a mosque becomes in a community, the more the Muslims are able to engage their youth in positive activities like service projects, sports, healthy recreation, and proper Islamic scholarship. The last thing any of us want is for our kids to turn to the Internet or some small fringe group for companionship to be negatively influenced. Muslim kids are under tremendous pressure; when they leave their homes they are inundated with prejudice and bigotry toward them for no other reason than they are Muslim. Having a safe haven where they can connect in positive ways with their peers, vetted mentors and other caring adults will help these kids grow up feeling proud to be Muslim and proud to be American.
When a mosque is well-established in the neighborhood, its members seek to create partnerships through interfaith service and fellowship that strengthens the entire community. Christian and Jewish faith leaders are opening their interfaith circles to include Muslims, and all are finding tremendous commonalities between their faith teachings. Muslims work cooperatively with various faith groups in their shared communities to serve the needy. Muslims are charged by our faith to serve everyone in our community; in fact, there is a tradition that says if our neighbors within a radius of forty houses are hungry, we are obliged to share what we have to ease the hunger. Look in some of the poorest, inner-city neighborhoods and you will find Muslims running food pantries and health clinics that serve everyone in need.
Muslim women are being empowered in America, often well beyond their overseas counterparts. When a Muslim community grows and settles in, women become an integral part of the mosque. We still have a long way to go toward real gender equity in our communities; however, women are fighting for more than a space in the mosque, we are fighting for and winning leadership roles within Islamic institutions. Dr. Ingrid Mattson exemplifies this trend. Muslim women in America are implementing programs that support peaceful families; they sponsor scholarships for young women; they mentor young girls through apple pie programs like the Girl Scouts of the USA.
As Muslim women become leaders in American mosques and institutions, they prevent the import of misogynistic practices and attitudes that are still accepted in some overseas patriarchal societies. They are raising their daughters to know their Islam-given rights as equal partners within the Muslim society. These same women are models for Muslim women around the world. I hosted a web chat for the State Dept. last year and answered questions from Muslim women all over the world on the subject of being a working Muslim mother in America. The women I spoke with were encouraged and empowered to hear our American-Muslim story. One of the last comments from a Muslim woman in Africa said it all. She wrote, "Sister, I envy you. This ideal situation of yours: reconcile your status as businesswoman, Muslim and mother. This is possible because you are in the United States, which offer great opportunities to anyone with ideas. Thanks to Allah."
There's something in the air in America that inspires Muslims to work cooperatively toward the common goal of a strong faith community. Because we are a small group from a huge world of vastly different cultures, we have learned to work together as Muslim-Americans instead of as nationals of different countries. For example, while India and Pakistan rattle their sabers at each other over Kashmir, Indian and Pakistani Muslims in America have left politics back home and work together for the common good. We can't afford political or sectarian strife, instead we are moving forward toward a holistic way of working together for the sake of God and society.
Folks who push back against a mosque being built or expanded in their neighborhood on the grounds that they don't want Islam to spread in their area are being naive. Protesting against an Islamic center, (as recently occurred in Tennessee, New York, and California), only serves to create animosity and more misunderstanding between the community at large and their Muslim neighbors. Efforts to limit Muslims' freedom to worship will not keep Muslims from living in your neighborhood, going to school with your kids, supporting your businesses, contributing to the tax base or practicing Islam.
Muslims are positively contributing to the beautiful diversity of this country through community service, professional and business development, and academic achievement. A growing and thriving Muslim community in America is a tide the haters can't turn as long as we continue to be a free society that protects the civil liberties of all. The hostile bigotry displayed toward Muslims in America is hurtful, but we are reminded of Nietzche's memorable quote: "What does not destroy me makes me strong".]]>The Promise: How Islam Found Metag:www.huffingtonpost.com,2010:/theblog//3.6282932010-06-28T15:31:36-04:002011-05-25T16:55:19-04:00Kari Ansarihttp://www.huffingtonpost.com/kari-ansari/
I grew up in Southern California during the 1960s in a non-practicing Christian home. I don't recall feeling particularly religiously inspired growing up, except maybe while singing "O' Holy Night" with Johnny Mathis on my parents' hi-fi. Some years we went to church on Easter Sunday, and some years we barbecued a steak instead.
Matters of faith were not discussed with any depth in my home; I remember my stepfather saying, "Kari, did you leave this milk out on the table? No? Well, Jesus knows if you're lying...Jesus knows." But, there was no further discussion about what Jesus would do about the spoiled milk. "Jesus knows" was just left hanging cryptically in the air.
My mother felt uncomfortable discussing anything, well, personal. Her way of instructing me on topics of any delicacy was to deliver the message via books and pamphlets. So, I learned about the facts of life through a pamphlet, and I learned about Christianity through the Golden Children's Bible. I read that Bible in its entirety many times as a child, taking comfort from the stories of the Prophets. Abraham, Noah, Moses, Solomon and David, John and Jesus -- I read all their stories, but what I lacked was the context and relevance of their lives to mine. Without a thread linking the words on the page to my life, they were only stories.
I memorized the Ten Commandments and the Lord's Prayer because I heard kids at school reciting them. I longed for the religious surety of my classmates: "Have you been Baptized? No? Well, you're going to Hell." This frightened me; I worried my entire family was floundering around without being baptized, and we were sure to burn in Hell.
As a young adult I took the attitude of "as long as I'm a good person, and live an ethical life, God will love me." That was fine, except as my world became more complicated I realized I was living a life full of loose ends and selfish decisions. I was floating through the years, reacting to whatever came in my direction, without a definitive plan. I thought I was aiming to fill the void I felt inside of myself, but I didn't have a sense of what was actually missing. I got married, made a home, had a successful career, and started a family with the birth of my precious son, but none of it brought real contentment. By the age of 30, I found myself a divorced, single mother of a little boy.
Against all advice, and despite the worried looks and words of consternation from my WASP-ish family, I met and married my second husband, Ahmed, the foreign, dark-skinned Muslim guy I met at work.
Ahmed is a soft-spoken artist from Bombay. When we married, I made it very clear that I had no intention of embracing his faith, and he made it very clear that it was fine with him. His only caveat was that if we had children they would be raised as Muslims. This sweet man was the opposite of the media's portrayal of the crazy or sinister Arab or Muslim, and so I had a different window on Islam through him, and I agreed to marry him. It didn't feel like a threat to our future children, or me; he fasted quietly, he prayed quietly, he lived and let live.
Being married to a spiritually confident person like my husband began to have a negative effect on my "God will love me if I'm a good person" philosophy. I knew I was missing out on something much more profound than the "it's all good" theory. I realized that I had no connection to God. I wanted what Ahmed had -- a solid relationship with the Divine -- but I was afraid of Islam. It seemed kind of tricky, and you had to actually work at being a Muslim; that didn't sound easy, or let's face it, fun. I just didn't want to consider it.
A couple of years later we had a baby girl. Ahmed whispered the Adhan, (the Muslim call to prayer) in her ear only moments after she was born. She would be a Muslim.
Reminiscent of the promise made by the miller's daughter to Rumpelstiltskin, the time had come for me to keep my promise to raise my daughter as a Muslim. As I looked into her sweet, tiny face, I told her I'd figure out this Islam thing for her and give her what I didn't have as a child -- open discussion about God and faith, and a framework with which to structure her life. I would make sure that she would have confidence in her relationship with God and an identity that would hold her true. I told her I would read the Quran, and learn about Islam to make sure it would be good for her.
I kept my promise. As I began to read the Quran, a miraculous book of verse and wisdom, I found my beloved and blessed Prophets Abraham, Moses, Joseph and Jesus. I found common-sense instructions about commerce and trade; I read beautiful verses that described the magnificence of the earth, its creatures, and my responsibility towards their care.
I studied the life of Prophet Muhammad, God's blessings be with him; and because every aspect of his life on earth was chronicled by his followers and carefully preserved, I was able to consider his story as a historical document.
Muhammad laughed; he cried; he showed displeasure and frustration. He was gentle, but firm; and he was strong yet vulnerable. I was inspired and moved by the fact he took the counsel of his wife, Khadijah. I loved it that he needed her comfort and strength as he began to receive Divine revelations through the Angel Gabriel. The early female followers of Islam questioned the blessed Prophet in the mosque on matters of law and social justice, and he gave them equal time and an equal voice. In his last sermon, Muhammad admonished the future generations of Muslim men to respect and cherish their wives and daughters.
After about a year of reading and thinking, my brain made a connection to my heart, which sparked my soul into life. I felt God speaking to me through the Quran and the life of this pure-hearted Messenger. I had set out to vet a religion for my daughter, but while doing this promised research for her I found God, and Islam found me. ]]>