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Entries by Andy Borowitz from 11/2008

Failure to Blow Election Stuns Democrats

| Posted 11.04.2008 | Politics

For Democrats, who have become accustomed to their party blowing an election even when it seemed like a sure thing, Tuesday night's results were a bitter pill to swallow.

Palin Hoping to be Named Ambassador to Africa

| Posted 11.06.2008 | Politics

Gov. Palin said that although she had planned to continue in her position in Anchorage, she was willing to leave the governorship "because Africa is just such a darned important country."

MSNBC to Launch Fucking Joe

| Posted 11.10.2008 | Media

Just minutes after "Morning Joe" host Joe Scarborough dropped an F-bomb live on the air, MSNBC announced that it was re-launching the show to capitalize on its star's salty vocabulary.

Bush in Race Against Time to Wreck Country

| Posted 11.13.2008 | Politics

Confounding the conventional wisdom that he is a lame duck president with no agenda as his days in office dwindle, President Bush is redoubling his efforts to mutilate the country before his term expires.

Obama's Use of Complete Sentences Stirs Controversy

| Posted 11.18.2008 | Politics

Obama's decision to use complete sentences in his public pronouncements carries with it certain risks, since after the last eight years Americans may find his odd speaking style jarring.

Obama Names Angelina Jolie, Jennifer Aniston to 'Team of Rivals'

| Posted 11.24.2008 | Politics

Continuing in his quest to assemble a so-called "team of rivals," Obama today announced that he would name Jolie and Aniston to key Cabinet positions.

Palin Offers Thankfulnesses

| Posted 11.27.2008 | Politics

Sarah's first thankfulness was "I'm thankful for this turkey, and also too for the metal funnel thingy that cut the turkey's head clean off while it was flapping its wings trying to get out and all. That was fun."