Which historical figure do you most identify with? Frank Caliendo, because he's so gosh-darn funny and his humor is so easy to "understand," if that's a word.
Michelle Malkin: Why didn't Obama save every child from drowning? Why just one? This myopia stems from his old, outdated liberal-elitist sensibility.
What if Wilson was like Forrest Gump? (I mean, like Forrest Gump in his preternatural ability to be present at great historical moments, not in his ability at being a functional moron.)
"I'm not going to be happy until I have half the jobs in America," DeGeneres declared. "If that means taking your job, then so be it."