When you are not loving and valuing yourself, you do not have love to share with your partner. You are constantly trying to get love rather than share love.
Through the 43 years of my counseling career, I've worked with many religious people who believed in God, including ministers and gurus, but who had no personal relationship with God.
It's very important to realize that, while being there for your children is vital, it is only half of good parenting. The other half is being there for yourself with honesty, courage and integrity.
All this time Charlie was certain that if he spoke up for himself, things would get worse. Instead, he discovered that Esther was very open to hearing his feelings and experience when it was in the moment.