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Entries by Mark Morford from 01/2012

12 Exquisitely Easy Resolutions for 2012

| Posted 01.09.2012 | Comedy

You want to exercise more, eat better, read more books? Spend more time with your kids, get more sleep? Wonderful. Have at it. Me, I'm going a little esoteric, a little vibrational this fine year of our apocalypse. It just seems appropriate.

How to Survive a San Francisco Cold Snap

| Posted 01.18.2012 | San Francisco

Did you know fireplace logs come in boxes of six and cost roughly five thousand dollars per case at Whole Foods? Did you know they burn for three full hours each in pretty rainbow colors?

Paula Deen Ate My Teenage Daughter

| Posted 01.25.2012 | Comedy

Paula Deen appears to openly despise you and doesn't seem to care if you get fat and sick and perhaps die from eating her bacon-wrapped deep-fried mac-and-cheese butter-dipped donut logs on a stick!

Oh My God, America, Please Do Not Eat This

| Posted 01.31.2012 | Huffington Post

For the love of God and guns, sex and sunlight, iPhones and puppies and all that you hold dear, please please please do not eat this new and completely repulsive food-like item you see before you. Can't you see it's made of chemicals and fat and dead, lost dreams?