This is the guy we all thought would roar into office on a delirious wave of eloquent cool and instead has basically replaced the stemware, brought in some live jazz and put a basketball court where Bush's inflatable kiddie pool used to be.

Who dares, at this point in his/her wobbly existence, have no concrete clue as to what's going on, who to vote for, or why they should bother to learn to understand how to care about any of it in the first place?

Really, how could any semi-enlightened male worth his Detroit auto bailout possibly wish for a vacuous one-percenter like Mitt Romney, a guy who would just as soon lay them off as sell them to China for scrap?