iOS app Android app

Entries by Tim Mattingly from 03/2013

The 4.54 Billionth Annual Spring Awards

| Posted 03.07.2013 | Comedy

Yes, this year's Spring is shaping up to be quite a spectacle, quite a spectacle indeed. It was just confirmed yesterday that Mother Nature will be returning as host, thus marking her 4.54 billionth consecutive turn as Master of Ceremonies.

My Response to a Six-Year Old Boy's Hypothetical Question

| Posted 03.18.2013 | Comedy

I used to give guitar lessons to little kids. One day my six-year old student Sam brought the lesson to a dead halt to ask me a pressing guitar-related question. He asked, "Would you rather have an ice cream cone for a hand... or a slice of pizza for a foot?"

Happy 7th Birthday, Twitter

| Posted 03.20.2013 | Comedy

On March 21, Twitter will turn seven-years-old. That's impressive. Seven years is a pretty short amount of time to become worth approximately $10 billion. When I turned seven, I was worth approximately one holographic Charizard.