Clinton Camp Issues Clarifications

Howard Wolfson, communications director for the Clinton campaign, has offered the following clarifications concerning the campaign.

Senator Clinton did not claim to find a westward route to the Pacific. The work for that was accomplished by Lewis and Clark.

Senator Clinton did not claim to create the Fox Trot. It was created by a man named Irving Fox upon seeing a woman across a ballroom of whom it was said Mr. Fox was hot to trot.

Senator Clinton did not technically vote in favor of the war in Iraq. Senator Clinton has made herself perfectly clear on that subject.

Senator Clinton did not credit herself with personally brokering peace in Northern Ireland. Senator Clinton was personally involved, however, as she has always been a fan of "Riverdance."

Senator Clinton does not have a sense of entitlement about becoming president. Senator Clinton feels no more entitled than any other extremely brilliant woman who has paid her dues and whose time has come.

Senator Clinton did not instruct James Carville to call Bill Richardson "a Judas." At the time the comment was conceived Senator Clinton was in church. With a pastor we all can be proud of.

Senator Clinton did not reverse herself from her original position on denying the validity of primaries in Michigan and Florida. Senator Clinton simply wants every person's vote to count so as to be properly tallied along Electoral College lines.

Senator Clinton does not support triangulation in politics nor the triangle offense in basketball. Triangulation is a strategy popularized by Dick Morris and the triangle offense was perfected in the NBA by Phil Jackson. Senator Clinton's political philosophy lies somewhere in the middle of both.

Senator Clinton is not trailing in the nomination process to Senator Obama. Senator Clinton is leading in every measurable category when all indeterminate indices are legitimately and proportionally factored into the projected aggregate.

Comments

[nazgul]

HA!

[TiffShelton]

Awesome!

[indie17]

LOL! GREAT article!

And here's a brand new poll to go along with it:

Democratic Presidential Nomination, Pew Research, Obama 49, Clinton 39, Obama +10

[lbrillante]

Funny... of course she is on video discussing her 'challenging vote to go to 'war'' on the senate floor... of course 'her pastor' is Doug Coe of 'The Family' a right wing religious order that the press doesn't want to touch because it is so powerful. They meet in cells and have a focus of amassing power.... and of course none of this has anything to do with why she has such high negatives with the people and why a majority don't trust her.... this is gender bias and has nothing to do with her 'character'.
Of course when I say that I can't vote for her in the fall it is really only me holding a grudge and could not be because I would feel responsble for putting a woman with poor judgement and poor character in the white house as the first woman president .... no..... that must be my temper tantrum and has nothing to do with the fact that what she did in office would forever reflect on the ability of women to ever hold that office again in teh future and my inability to believe that she can delver on her promises with selling out the soul of our country.....

[GoreyFantod]

I'm an anti-religious agnostic who was required to attend (Christian) church and study the Bible as a child. I find it funny (& tragic), that so many high profile, self-proclaimed Christians seem unacquainted with the New Testament.

Unfortunately, Senator Clinton seems to have forgotten Matthew 16:26 & Mark 8:36. Of course, a brief scan of the headlines reveals that she's not the only one, but Senator Clinton, of all people, should recognize that The Family is a front for a group of anti-Democratic, reactionary plutocrats.

[pithymaxim]

Witty.

[Texas4Obama]

If Hillary thought that going into Bosnia was dangerous then she should have been charged for CHILD endangerment because Chelsea was a minor at the time! Not very good judgment on her part.

[LeftRight]

Don't forget PRESIDENT Clinton! He should ALSO be charged with Child Endangerment, since he sent them BOTH to Bosnia!

[Sundei]

That was a great article...

Disarm the Clintons with humor...

[Denni]

You're my new hero! Thanks for the lighthearted look at the sludge that is the Clinton campaign.

[ChandraSF]

Bill Clinton has never technically smoked dope. And he has never technically had sexual relations with ML. He never impled Obama is not a patriot. Nor did HRC have a surrogate imply that Obama is so ordinary that were it not for affirmative action he would never have been heard from. HRC never implied that Obama is a muslim, as far as she knows. The Clintons and their chief stooges - Wolfson and Penn - do take the American public for simpletons. I believe the electorate is about to call their bluff this time around. Hopefully HRC will also lose her Senate seat.

[LeftRight]

No, I think that she'd be an okay Senator, provided that we don't have a right-wingnut president in office............

[ljmck]

Thanks. Appreciate the laugh. I'm copying your article to my computer for use on the dark days ahead.

[Pjsandiego]

Then there was the lie about only being sent in to Bosnia because it was too dangerous for the President who had been there two weeks before. Clinton fatigue is very hard to predict you know.

Then there was the lie about not knowing that her husband is a philandering cheating piece of shit that has been cheating on her and every public office since he's gotten out of law school. She just misspoke when she initially said that she believed her husband when he said "I did not have sexual relations with that woman."

Then there was the lie when she said in a written pledge that she would not participate in any fashion in the Michigan primary and then proceeded to place her name on the ballot when every other candidate kept their promise. Look a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

There was the lie that now blames Obama on the lack of a revote or any accommodation in either Michigan or Florida, when we all know that she refused a caucus in Michigan which would have been perfectly legal, and she refuses to negotiate or compromise in any fashion about Florida. Heck you know I have to protect those States because I've enabled the idiots in those states that pulled this bone headed move in the first place.

There there was the lie. [I've run out of space but you can fill in the next fifty pages yourself.

[DoninJoisey]

Then there was the lie about always being opposed to NAFTA, then those pesky statements of her praising NAFTA came out.

Then there was the lie about the Iraq vote not being a vote for war in Iraq.

Then there was the lie about being instrumental in bringing about SCHIP:
http://www.dailykos.com/story/2008/3/26/16277/7120/300/484827

Then theres the lie of going to fight for taking government from special interests, when she's funded by them and defends their contributions to her campaign...

[Whinger]

Senator Clinton never said she was speaking the truth, she was speaking figuratively, just like that Mormon guy who walked on the water, and the misunderstood comments about Bosnia, that was merely a what if sceneario of the likely action she would have taken if needs be. And bringing peace to Ireland, again so misunderstood and spun to death by right wing conspirators trying to undermine the first lady's credibility and ignoring the fact that her contribution to peace was the equivalent of the Boston tea party.

[GoreyFantod]

"Senator Clinton is leading in every measurable category when all indeterminate indices are legitimately and proportionally factored into the projected aggregate."

Best. Bumper. Sticker. Ever. Sign me up for a thousand of 'em.

[ecksman]

hilarious!!! too funny b/c its so true.

[LeftRight]

Yeah, I'll take another thousand! Do you think that it'd be bad if I were to completely cover my car with them, including windows?

[GaryinToronto]

Funny article. But I must say that what bugged me the most about the Bosnian thing was that :

a) She only admitted she "misspoke", when clearly she out and out lied;
b) She and her campaign repeatedly shot down anyone questioning her account until actually confronted with the video (e.g. Don't listen to Sinbad - he's just a "comedian");
c) She amazingly enough lied while attempting to explain her lie - saying she was "exhausted". Did she not think we'd be watching her energetic recitals of her big Bosnian adventure. In the one where she's wearing that hideous St. Patrick's Day scarf she's chortling and smiling and looks like she's just had a double expresso. I can't believe I haven't seen a single journalist call her on the "exhausted" excuse.
d) She has the gall to try and turn it into a "poor Hillary" moment remarking that she's only human - "which will come as a revelation to some of you".
e) She used the Wright issue to try and move the spotlight off of her lie. I saw her duck questions on Wright at least three times in the preceding week - no way do you convince me that her choosing that day to comment wasn't opportunistic and cynical.

This lady is a real piece of work....

[chlllfactor]

GaryinToronto
You called Hillary a 'lady' - that is more then I would have done! I could think of many other descripives to call her, but even on a blog, they would start the place on fire!

And, Mr. Corman,
Thank you for the laughs - especially since they are so very true!!