Everyone has an opinion about Muslim women, even those -- especially those -- who have never met one.
As Muslim women born and raised in America, we are tired of hearing everyone -- politicians, pundits, men and women of other faiths (or those not adhering to any faith) -- talk about Muslim women without ever stopping to listen to what we have to say about our lives.
The narrative about Muslim women spun by others -- and propagated in the media and popular culture -- as silent, submissive and oppressed, is one that neither of us recognize in ourselves, the women in our families, or the women we have met over the years through our work within the Muslim community both in the United States and abroad. (Ayesha as a development consultant and Nura as an attorney.)
When we raise our voices to tell our own stories, we are silenced. We are either dismissed as outliers -- educated and upper class Western-raised Muslim women with no grasp of the reality of "real" Muslim women -- or brainwashed, because how could any intelligent woman defend Islam or call herself Muslim? In many cases, our experiences are negated or dismissed as inauthentic by virtue of comparison to the circumstances of some women in other countries, e.g., burqa-clad women in Afghanistan or child brides in Yemen.
What about child brides in Yemen?
There is no denying that there is subjugation and oppression of women committed by Muslims, in the name of Islam, the world over -- just as we know there is injustice occurring everyday against women of all faiths, in all countries, in the name of religion politics, and ideology.
But the experiences of some Muslim women do not negate the experiences of others. The voices of Muslim women are diverse, and our individual experiences authentic. We must be placed in our own context without being smothered under an entire globe's worth of geopolitical baggage. Just as the life of a Catholic woman in a village in Guatemala is very different from that of a Catholic woman in the village of Manhattan's Upper East Side, so too are the lives, realities and experiences of over 500 million Muslim women across the globe.
In the last few years, Muslim women have begun pushing back against the monolithic "Muslim Woman" to celebrate the joys of our context and the challenges therein. We've seen a Muslim woman -- Tawakkul Karman -- win the Nobel Peace Prize for her pro-democracy work in Yemen, and another Muslim woman -- Sharmeen Obaid Chinoy -- win an Oscar for amplifying the courageous voices of acid attack survivors in Pakistan.
Here in the United States, the American Muslim community is coming into its own, and women are leading the way through their literary achievements, including anthologies and novels, plays and memoirs. As editors of the groundbreaking anthology "Love, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women," we were privileged to hear the perspectives of hundreds of women who responded to our call for stories. These Muslim women courageously raised their voices to share their complex, joyful and sometimes painful love lives, thereby giving readers a glimpse of what it really means to be a Muslim woman in America today.
This International Women's Day, Muslim women are speaking. Are you ready to listen?
Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi are co-editors of the non-fiction anthology 'Love, InshAllah: The Secret Love Lives of American Muslim Women' (Soft Skull Press, 2012).
Follow Ayesha Mattu and Nura Maznavi on Twitter: www.twitter.com/LoveInshAllah
This is key. Muslims do not hold to single monolithic set of beliefs beyond belief in the unity of God and the Prophet. Attitudes about gender and sexuality in Islam are every bit a diverse as those in any other faith.
Yet in the comments below I see non-Muslims arguing that "Islam demands women wear hijab" despite the fact that many Muslims argue that this is not an essential aspect of Islam. Not just individuals but entire communities like Alevis and Ismailis. I teach college. Most of the Muslim women in my classes do not wear hijab. And they would object to being told they are not pious believers. In my opinion the only thing worse than non-Muslims telling Muslim women what they must do to be pious is other Muslims doing the same. Does piety come down to few feet of cloth? There is much more in the Qur'an and hadith about justice and solidarity for the poor than about headscarves but they choose to put their focus on women's clothing. The obsession with headscarves, which should be an individual choice made by women who may or may not choose to wear it as a sign of piety has become more of a political symbol than a religious one. We should respect the choice of women who wear it and we should not question the morality of those who do not.
Peace/Salaams/Shalom
To everyone else...."A cup cannot be filled unless it is emptied first"
This only makes non-Muslims think American Muslimahs care nothing for justice, and will throw their sisters to the wolves rather than criticize Islamic institutions and power bases.
I married a Muslim man and my kids went to an American Muslim school, so please don't tar me with your easy attack "you've never met a Muslim woman". The community is warm, hospitable... and incredibly unjust. Abuse of women can happen in any community, but here the silence, the scapegoating of the women, the pressure to silently conform, is enormous. Worse is the hidebound desire of the leaders (school principal, imam, masjid board) to mold the minds of the young into strict orthodoxy; questions are discouraged and protests unthinkable. The old immigrant men who run everything confuse tradition with virtue, and culture with justice.
Muslimahs, if you want to change my impression of you, here's how you can do it: Fight, loud and proud, against all those womanhating abuses you don't want me to talk about. We non Muslims will shut up about Muslim misogyny, when you start doing the yelling.
That's not true. Only in financial matters are women given the privilege of having another woman back up their testimony. Women in an ideal Islamic society are not burdened with financial matters, and this is consistence with the Qur'an and Sunnah.
If you believe his words, then it makes sense that our testimony should be less worthy than a man's.
A woman who chooses to wear it already made her choice. She'd have thought about, thought about her relationship with God and went for it. If you don't like it, it doesn't matter...it's not your choice to make. And more importantly, if your idea of 'freedom' would require her to abandon it, then what freedom is there when there is only one choice in your mind?
In no other context we discuss the 'motivators' for our dress code, we adhere to societal norms on corporate wear, latest fashions etc. Those to you are acceptable motivators ...but one motivated by a closer relationship with her God, that's questionable? Nuns too are motivated by their beliefs, but don't get nearly the same flack as Muslim women. On the contrary, they're admired for their devotion or at the very least for their dedication.
Freedom ceases to exist when you start to dictate what is and what isn't freedom and as result limiting it to your personal perspective.
There are no Catholic communities in which all girls and women are taught, "All females must wear this penguin suit, because you are females." No one is forced into the convent. No countries harrass, arrest, or flog women for failing to wear a nun's habit. No parents put their school-age daughters into a nun's habit and caution them never to take it off in public. No nuns fear punishment if their wimple slips off and their hair is seen by men. No communities gossip that non-nun women are immoral or undeserving of basic respect from men. No communities preach that women are all temptresses who must wear unwieldy nun's habits to avoid tempting men. No nun's habit has ever included a niqab which makes the nun faceless and excluded from the public sphere.
And so on.
Next question!
Once again, stop painting Muslims with one broad brush and assuming that NO other groups of human beings commit certain crimes or have oppressive, misogynistic traditions and practices.
Muslims aren't perfect, but they aren't the modern-day equivalent of Nazis either.
If you can read, I was speaking about the Muslim women who choose to wear it and the flak they get for that choice. My comparison to Nuns was with regards to individuals making choices to dress differently based on their beliefs. The choices of independent individuals is all I was referring to.
To go off on rant about what nations, culturally inclined societies do or do not do is completely irrelevant when we're talking about individual choices.
It's all well and good have your little rant if you direct to the relevant nations/societies.
A woman who chooses to wear it (chooses being the key word) does it to get closer to her God. That's ultimately the biggest motivator for both Christian Nuns and Muslim women to embark on their journeys. That's it.
Possible consequences from different societies/gov. has nothing to do with a woman who 'chooses' to wear it. It may have something to those who do out of custom/expectation or even fear.
You've attempted to justify the flak Muslim women get for their dress code by ranting about societies or gov. that force them to do so. As though they are to blame for wrapped mentality of others and they need to limit relationship with God so as not to indulge these societies/gov. Ludicrous,
Voluntary adherence to customs individual liberty--free will.
I'm all for individual liberty and equal justice under law.
What I find objectionable is when anyone of ANY religion is so sure that they are so right in their beliefs that they want to enact that dogma into law.
(example: GOP presidential Rick Santorum opposes birth control and contraception based on his beliefs and wants to deny all American women these choices.)
When parents of any "faith" are unwilling to let their children (especially in their teenage years) even know about much less consider an alternative choice for themselves, that is indoctrination and denies these children an opportunity to have individual liberty as adults.
The Muslim "faith" is the only faith of which I am aware that has the practice of "honor killings".
Not long ago a "family" joined together to murder two teen-aged girls because they wanted to live a more western lifestyle. Then the family tried to deny the murders until the bodies were found--not very "honorable".
As long as you are voluntarily living your life as is--no problem; but imposing your lifestyle on anyone else--that's tyranny.
Indeed this is what make this country great that even "The Westboro Babtist Church" is allowed to vent their hate and anger towards those they disagree with. Obvious you may not view the Westboro church as lucky to live in America because they are mainly from European ancestry.
Your point being?
She asked the very good question: In a country that prizes equality, what does it mean that Dutch-born white women are free to go where they please and do what they want, but Somali-born immigrant women often live as slaves and suffer abuse, and are unprotected by the state because of 'cultural tolerance'? What does it mean if we abhor and imprison anyone who would sexually mutilate an eight-year-old white Dutch girl, but if an adult cuts of the clitoris and labia of a little black girl, we won't protect her? Why do we tell male immigrants that their way (wife-beating, genital mutilation, injustice toward women) is as good as our Dutch way and they are entitled to keep doing it.
And so on. Her books are amazing and so is her courage. I've never understood why anyone would be angry at her calls for justice - though I can see why one might accuse her of painting with too broad a brush.
Oh... are you going to argue that all these millions of people who perpetrate all these millions of oppressive acts, or who vote the perpetrators into office, or who accept the oppression of women without trying to stop it -- they are not "real Muslims" but, uh, just a few extremists!
I too applaud the women for getting their voice out and saying what they think. And if they feel happy and free in their religion, I'm glad for them. The testimony of two women, however, hardly makes the experience of millions a myth. Hopefully they are not trying to claim that it does.
Needs Education.
Many still Confuse.
Muslims.
And Muslin.
Of course, since we couldn't silence these women, let's ignore their point and discuss something else.
And, if you view everyone of another religion as a target for conversion to Islam, where is tolerance?
More to the point, how tolerant of the criticism of Islam are you? Without tolerance, only injustice and tyranny can flourish.
"You know it's a myth... and you have a choice !"
Throw off the 2000 year old Babylonian culture and come into the 21st Century :-)