Written by Ellen Seidman for Babble.com
The mysteries of the universe are many:
How was Stonehenge built?
Is there extraterrestrial life?
What happened to Amelia Earhart?
Has nobody ever told Donald Trump he needs a better haircut?
And yet, the everyday head-scratchers that crop up once you become a parent can be every bit as perplexing as these biggies (and some days, even more so). Ever asked yourself any of these questions?
1. Just what exactly is the allure of Thomas the Tank?
Yeah, he's a train and kids love them some trains. Still, he and his pals have zero personality and the storylines are a yawn. Thomas becomes a transvestite: Now that would be awesome.
2. Why isn't mac 'n cheese a food group?
It's mysteriously missing from the food pyramid. Alert the authorities!
3. How come kids mistake moms for human tissues?
News flash: My sleeve is part of my clothing; it is not your snot rag.
4. Is my kid someday gonna realize I'm not completely sure of what I'm doing?
Perhaps, but hopefully she'll be 37 at that point. Until then I'll just keep right on repeating, "Because I'm the mom and I said so!"
5. Is it so bad to let your child skip bathtime (again) because you're exhausted?
A diaper-wipes cleanup is even more sanitary than sitting around in icky bath water, the Surgeon General has determined. (In my dreams.)
6. Is Sophie the Giraffe secretly flavored with crack?
I've never actually licked her myself, but I'm gonna try and see if I get high.
7. Why hasn't anybody yet invented a self-cleaning playroom?
Come on, IKEA!
8. Is it OK to still desperately want the birthday cake slice with a flower?
I personally think so, unless you pummel a toddler to snag it.
9. Where do kids get their fashion sense from?
And wouldn't it be awesome if you didn't have to bother matching outfits?
10. Why can't the kids to leave you alone while you're in the shower?
OMG, I won't even condition my hair! Just let me soap up in peace!
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