THE BLOG

I've Been Unconsciously Coupling for Years!

04/10/2014 01:01 pm ET | Updated Jun 09, 2014
  • Barbara Goldberg Author, Blogger of The Evil Stepmother Speaks, Facebook Page Stepmom Life Class

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin decided to consciously uncouple. When I became uncoupled, it was called divorce. I used to feel bad about myself, but now I'm feeling quite chic. I am not a divorced woman. I am a woman who makes conscious decisions, and decided to uncouple. Yes. That is who I am.

Several years after my uncoupling, I consciously remarried and became the stepmother to three children, in addition to being mom to one child. My career became intense and I moved into a life in corporate America. Between parenting and work, I had little or no time for the coupling part. Now that I feel great about the divorce part of my life, I have to be honest and say that I have been unconsciously coupling for years. Yes, it is true. I have not paid any attention to my husband in an unconscious way.

I did not have one moment to think as we raised our kids. I moved at a fast pace as we took children to their activities, cooked dinners and worked hard. I fell asleep early and got up at the crack of dawn to hit the gym. It was intense and unconscious. We squeezed in our coupling in between the needs of all of the children. Now, I feel that I need to turn myself in as an unconscious coupler. I wonder if I need to file papers somewhere?

I learned from Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin that when you announce your conscious uncoupling, you can go on a "break-up moon." This is a trip to a beautiful location where you continue your uncoupling. I am totally in favor of this idea. I think I will ask my husband if he would be willing to go on vacation where we will continue to be unconscious. This trip may involve some alcohol and lots of sleep. I like the concept. Who knows? We may even couple.

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