A few months ago the editors at Health.com wrote an article --"11 Mistakes Women Make in Middle Age" -- which was based on an interview with me about my book, "The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts' Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More."
It generated so much attention that other media outlets have run the story since then, including Yahoo Shine, thirdage.com, and The Huffington Post. A producer at "The Today Show" saw it and invited me to be a guest on the show last week, talking about what I've learned from my research. I now refer to it as "the article that keeps on giving."
No matter where the article pops up, it gets a lot of hits, shares and comments from readers, because many of us are unsure about the right steps to take for better health, fitness, beauty and style. It can be a very confusing time, which is the main reason I decided to research and write the book.
The most important thing I learned is this: health and fitness should be our top priorities after 50 because the better we feel, the better we look, and age becomes irrelevant. Simplify your life, pare back to the basics, and embrace your age -- no matter what it is -- with pride, confidence and attitude.
Simple, but not always easy, because by the time we hit 50 we're often set in our ways. To break out of our health, exercise, eating, style, hair, makeup and skincare ruts, let's start by taking a look at some of the most common mistakes we make, in addition to those listed in "11 Mistakes Women Make in Middle Age."
Feeling Invisible
I'm 54, and part of the largest single demographic group in the history of the world. Our buying power is huge, and we are a political powerhouse. Invisible? Hardly. But as I entered my 50s, I sometimes felt as though I was being pushed aside, ignored and not young or interesting enough to have a voice in the world, as I once did. Luckily, I got a grip, and realized that we have to ignore the noise, embrace our age, not be afraid of it, accept that change is happening, and figure out the best way to address those changes, forging ahead with health and vitality.
Being Afraid of Aging
The best advice I can give you is this: be fearless after 50. Fear will stop you from pursuing your dreams, and could cause you to give up and give in, keeping you a prisoner in your comfort zone. This is the simple concept I learned from researching, writing and living the advice in my book; If you're healthy, you feel good. If you feel good, you look good. If you feel good and look good and have a vision for your future, you feel even better. If you've got all that plus the knowledge how to stay that way, you feel amazing. And if you feel amazing, who cares about age?
Losing Control of Your Life
When I hit 50, I started to feel as though society had already mapped out my future: I would grow older, fade into the background, continue to pack on post-menopausal pounds, and decide that this was probably going to be how it was going to be. That's where I was headed until I stopped in my tracks, and said no. Instead, I retreated, revised and re-emerged: I took control, and created a new future for myself which includes exercise, healthy eating, smart skincare, easy makeup and hair, simple style, and a whole new attitude. We can't control getting older, but we can control how we do it.
Getting Overwhelmed by Too Much Information
Knowledge is power, right? So when I turned 50, I went on a quest to find the answers. I searched the Internet, bookstores and magazines, but it soon turned into information overload. Everybody had an opinion -- and most of them conflicted with each other: Eat more protein. No, eat less protein. Take supplements. No, get all your nutrition from foods. You can wear jeans after 50. You can absolutely not wear jeans after 50. And everybody, it seems, wants to sell us something to lose weight or get rid of wrinkles. I was ready to throw the proverbial blanket over my head and stay there. Then one day, it hit me. I didn't want lots of information; I wanted the best information on what I need to know now about getting older. So, I cut through the noise, and figured out what really works, and what doesn't.
Ignoring Your Inner Kid
Smile, play, laugh, have fun, engage, connect. These are all essential for healthy aging. Don't take yourself, or the world, too seriously. There will always be problems, but do we have to constantly dwell on them? Do you remember how much fun it was when you were a kid to just get outside and run around? I do that with my dog. We run (with walk breaks) four to five miles several times a week. Not only am I keeping my weight at a healthy level and exercising my heart, but all studies have shown that physical activity raises your endorphins and makes you feel good. Play games, engage in a hobby, stay in close touch with friends who care about you, and steer clear of those who don't. Volunteer, and say Yay! as often as you can. It's contagious.
Feeling Sorry for Yourself
It's not always easy getting older, especially if you, or loved ones, are experiencing illness, loss, or difficult financial times. But, feeling sorry for yourself is counter-productive, as it only serves to keep you stuck where you are. Instead, take control, figure out what you need to make your situation easier (or at least, more tolerable), get help from others if you need it, and create a vision of your life which includes getting and staying fit, so you can more readily shoulder whatever comes your way in the future.
Not Having a Financial Plan
I interviewed Jane Bryant Quinn, the internationally known financial expert and author, for my book. Jane is a conservative thinker when it comes to financial planning, and she gave me some very good advice for people approaching 50: as we're heading toward retirement -- which probably won't happen until we're closer to 70 due to many converging factors -- we have to ask ourselves how we're going to afford to live. One of the most stressful things any of us can go through is financial uncertainty. This is where the simple part comes in: save more, and spend less. No magic... just basic common sense. And understand the different kinds of insurance we need as we get older. You may want to consider hiring a fee-only financial planner to get started.
The last paragraph of my book succinctly sums up my simple philosophy on living a good life after 50, and I'd like to share it with you here:
For the rest of your life: love yourself, love your life, stay as healthy as you can, move your body, be informed, stay engaged, use your mind, keep a handle on your finances, be bold, be brave, walk with confidence, live with style . . . and you will always have the best of everything.
What are some of the mistakes you've seen people make in midlife, and how were they resolved? Share them with us here on The Huffington Post, and I'll include some of the best ones in next week's post, and on my website -- www.bestofeverythingafter50.com.
Follow Barbara Hannah Grufferman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BGrufferman
Barbara Hannah Grufferman - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Dr. Oz's Ultimate Anti-Aging Checklist - Oprah.com
CDC::Aging - Healthy Aging for Older Adults
Healthy Aging and Longevity Center: Exercise, Nutrition, and ...
Laura Carroll
La vie childfree
http://lauracarroll.com
Barbara
Thank you for sharing your wisdom so eloquently.
This is a terrific comment, and I just shared it on Facebook, so everyone could see it. I agree with every single word. Take action NOW!
Thanks for reading, and commenting,
Barbara
Thanks for reading and commenting!
Now I am at a crossroads but do not fear.
Taking care of one's self is key at this age: menopause and perimenopause can take its toll on sleep and energy. Wellness, nutrition and exercise are essential. Get up and move, walk, do something that makes you sweet. Cheaper than Drs. appointment.
Humor -and playfulness - if you are lucky - never lose this in yourself. I still think I am 18!.
And please - use the good china if you have it - pull out the good towels or whatever. You can't take it with you.
Mandatory angiograms for all of us at 50 years old - younger if there's a family history.
As to having a financial plan, what about we boomers who have been out of work for 2 years or more?
I am looking into changing careers - whether I need to go back to school is still on the table. In addition to my 2 children I also take care of my 78 year old parents. They are healthy thankfully. They live on SS so I help out financially - that is what family is for!
I don't know what area of the country you live in or your skill set but I hope that this year brings many people jobs and opportunities.