I turned 50 a few years ago, at which time I embarked on a journey to discover what being 50 really means, so I feel somewhat qualified to share what I've learned so far with President Obama, who turns 50 on August 4th. Perhaps he'll read this. I hope so.
At first my plan was to keep it light and simple, focusing on health tips, fitness ideas, style suggestions, all of which I learned from the many people I interviewed for my book, which served as my own personal manual for entering this new chapter of life with energy and enthusiasm.
But, other than smoking -- which hopefully President Obama has successfully battled by now -- I think he's entering his 50s in good health and with a lot of style. The First Lady even thinks he's "still cute."
So I switched gears. Instead, I will focus on another equally important aspect of turning 50 that can often serve as a positive guide for how we choose to live the rest of our lives, and that transcends the push-ups we should be doing and the Vitamin D we should be taking (and the cigarettes we should be quitting). The simple question President Obama might ask himself this week as he turns 50 is this: What will be my legacy?
How one wants to be remembered often sneaks into our innermost thoughts when one turns 50. For those of us who aren't leaders of the world (and most of us are not), before turning 50 we are usually too caught up with the everyday business of life -- careers, children, community, friends, family -- to think about how we will be viewed by posterity. But, once we hit 50, we understand that life is not unlimited, so maybe now's the time to clarify our deepest priorities.
Being the President of the United States of America, though, I can only assume that President Obama and his team have been thinking about and planning his legacy for quite some time. But, is he on the right track?
When I asked friends on Facebook and Twitter to share their birthday greetings for President Obama, planning to print some in this article, one stood out:
Dear President Obama: On your birthday, remember your mother, wife and daughters as you make decisions that affect all women.-Nancy Gruver, Founder and Publisher, New Moon Girl Media
It is with this simple, powerful statement I urge President Obama to think about his legacy from the vantage point of what it is like to be a 50-year old woman in the United States of America in 2011, and see the world from our eyes.
A few weeks ago I wrote an article -- "From Anger to Action: Why Women Must Get Mad" -- which generated a great deal of discussion and debate here on Huffington Post, and elsewhere. Based on that article, and what has transpired in the country in recent days, these are just a few of the realities of life in America which are having a drastic impact on the lives of all women, including those over 50:
Solving these issues will take some time, as they have been many years in the making and were compounded by the events of this week. But there is one thing President Obama could do -- right now -- that would expedite the resolution of some of these issues (certainly the pay inequity) and solidify his legacy as the president who took a stand and made It happen. He could demand that these simple words become the 28th Amendment of the U.S. Constitution:
Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex.
It is the Equal Rights Amendment.
If he really wanted to ensure the legal and constitutional rights of women in America, including those of his daughters, President Obama could help to push this through. All he has to do is ask himself: Is this the right thing to do?
He could also think about this:
Can a country that prides itself as the leader and protector of democracy in the world, and one which implores other countries to include the word "women" in their constitutions (Afghanistan and Iraq), still not protect the rights of women in its own?
Many believe that President Obama knows in his heart that it's time to pass the Equal Rights Amendment. But, he may not be ready to act according to his conscience, given the conservative tone of our country, and therein lies the potential problem with his legacy.
For inspiration, perhaps he could look to the teachings of philosopher John Stuart Mill, an early advocate of women's suffrage who believed that political philosophy should be guided by what is good for society as a whole, and equality for all is at the very heart and soul of democracy, is it not?
Or, he could embrace the spirit of Sir Thomas More, who, even in the face of death, followed his conscience and did not side with King Henry VIII when the king wanted to divorce his wife. One of my favorite scenes from the fantastic film, A Man For All Seasons, depicts Sir Thomas' position perfectly:
The Duke of Norfolk: Oh confound all this. I'm not a scholar, I don't know whether the marriage was lawful or not but dammit, Thomas, look at these names! Why can't you do as I did and come with us, for fellowship!Sir Thomas More: And when we die, and you are sent to heaven for doing your conscience, and I am sent to hell for not doing mine, will you come with me, for fellowship?
He might, too, want to ponder these profound thoughts from Friedrich Nietzsche:
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
Let President Obama's 50th birthday gift to himself, his wife, his daughters, and to his country be to follow his heart, his good judgement and his conscience, and pass the Equal Rights Amendment.
And let his legacy show that he created true equality for all in the United States of America.
Happy 50th Birthday, President Obama. Welcome to the club.
Follow Barbara Hannah Grufferman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BGrufferman
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"Equality of rights under the law shall not be denied or abridged by the United States or by any state on account of sex or sexual preference."
Barbara
FWIW, men would get the greatest benefit from gender equality.
Because woman's work is never done and is underpaid or unpaid or boring or repetitious and we're the first to get fired and what we look like is more important than what we do and if we get raped it's our fault and if we get beaten we must have provoked it and if we raise our voices we're nagging bitches and if we enjoy sex we're nymphos and if we don't we're frigid and if we love women its because we can't get a man and if we ask our doctor too many questions we're neurotic and/or pushy and if we expect childcare we're selfish and if we stand up for our rights we're aggressive and unfeminine and if we don't we're typical weak females and if we want to get married we're out to trap a man and if we don't we're unnatural and because we still can't get a safe contraceptive but men can walk on the moon [and get insurance to pay for Viagra] and if we can't cope or don't want a pregnancy we're made to feel guilty about abortion and... for lots and lots of other reasons we are still part of the women's liberation movement.
There is a war against women in this country, and it just scares me. Women should be at the highest levels of everything, government, business, medicine, and while there are a few who have obtained the brass ring most have not. Our health and welfare is being slashed everywhere, our reproduction rights being challenged at every turn. I just don't understand it. More women are going to college then ever before, hold more degrees, and yet do not fight for their rights. Walmart won, women lost. I get so angry and frustrated with it all, wake up sisters! Stand up and demand that you be treated equally and stand up for your daughters so that they we have more available then even you dd.
My main question concerns the statistic thrown out many times "Women still earn approximately 77 cents for every dollar a man earns".
How do they figure this? Do they take the annual earnings of women and the annual earnings of men and they divide them into an hourly figure? If so, this statistic is very misleading. However do they figure the hourly figure for each individual and add them together and divide by hours worked to arrive at a final figure. This would be more accurate.
If they do the latter my question is 'why is part-time work valued at a lesser hourly rate than full time work. I can understand that annual income is lower than full time, but not hourly full-time. Everywhere I have worked, I have received the same hourly rate as a man.....just not the same annual income.
Barbara, we hear this repeated over, and over, and over, with the figure ranging between 75 and 80 cents. At the same time, repetition of a statistic without elaboration can obscure underlying dynamics that would give us a more balanced sense of what is happening. Said another way, statistics can be entirely politicised (no big leap there, I'm sure you'll agree).
What do you think of studies such as the one commissioned by the Dept of Labor and published in 2009, which concludes:
"Although additional research in this area is clearly needed, this study leads to the unambiguous conclusion that the differences in the compensation of men and women are the result of a multitude of factors and that the raw wage gap should not be used as the basis to justify corrective action. Indeed, there may be nothing to correct. The differences in raw wages may be almost entirely the result of the individual choices being made by both male and female workers."
http://consad.com/index.php?page=an-analysis-of-reasons-for-the-disparity-in-wages-between-men-and-women
According to the the OECD 30% of the gender pay gap is due to discrimination: "Moreover, the report found that in many countries, labour market discrimination – i.e. the unequal treatment of equally productive individuals only because they belong to a specific group – is still a crucial factor inflating disparities in employment and the quality of job opportunities [...] Evidence presented in this edition of the ''Employment Outlook'' suggests that about 30% of the variation in gender wage gaps across OECD countries can be explained by discriminatory practices in the labour market."
http://www.oecd.org/dataoecd/8/19/40937574.pdf
According to the US Department of Labor "more that 40%" of the gender pay gap is due to discrimination: http://www.dol.gov/oasam/programs/history/herman/reports/futurework/report/chapter2/main2.htm
The Department of Labor refused to publish the Consad report on its website. The reason for this was that the Consad Group used an untested new methodology instead of the usual multiple regression and Oaxaca-Binder decompositions. Another reason was that the Consad Group framed the unequal division of unpaid domestic labor in terms of women's "choices." Despite all this, the Consad Group still found an unexplained pay gap of 5-7%.
Next time you want to fool somebody, try harder.
I so appreciate everyone's input, and especially those who felt inclined to come to President Obama's defense, but, if you re-read the article, he didn't need defending. This was a gentle reminder that he could work magic, if he chose to. I know how polarizing the question of the Equal Rights Amendment is -- which continues to baffle me -- but I for one would be thrilled if the ERA became a reality while Barack Obama was the President of the United States of America. It would make me very proud, indeed.
Thank you,
Barbara
People have moved beyond gender in making choices between candidates. I reject the insipid notion that folks ought to vote for the candidate of their gender. Women's candidates are both male and female. Moost people look at qualifications, character, their sense of whether that person is the best option listed on the ballot.
Believe me, anyone who remembers the ERA debate knows all too well that women can be among the strongest opponents to equal rights for women. In that respect, your point is well-taken and well worth remembering on election day.
Sadly, based on your many comments here, you have completely misconstrued my article. I wish President Obama only the best, because the more of "the best" he has and does, the better it will be for all of us. And, I did wish him a Happy Birthday at the end. Please note that nowhere in my article was I disrespectful or critical. In fact, you were the one who started the criticisms . . . of me, and unfairly, I believe.
It was a simple reminder that the Equal Rights Amendment IS STILL NOT A PART OF THE CONSTITUTION. And, while there are many other government officials who must get behind it too, I know that a few words from him would make all the difference. Quite frankly, so would a few words from Oprah, Lady GaGa, and all the other cultural figures that many Americans, especially younger Americans, follow. Perhaps next time I should focus on the Kadashians . . . another sad statement indeed, but that's fodder for a future article.
Thanks for reading and commenting . . .
All best,
Barbara
The first bill that he signed in to law was the Lilly Ledbetter Act. He has appointed two fine female supreme court justices.
I believe that all thinking, progressive women should be his strongest advocates and not subtly attack him suggesting that he has not done enough for women or that he is not thinking of women.
So like the author's [original] intention, I'll keep it simple;
I too turned 50 a few years back. What I have learned is not to give advice or suggest what another might want to be considering at this milestone... His legacy.
I have learned when someone wants my opinion they will ask for it.
I
have also learned to shy away from people who offer unasked for 'advice'. My 54 years on the planet have informed me sufficiently, and when in doubt, I consult my partner, or those friends or family members who's opinions would matter to me given the question at hand.
Unasked for advice/suggestions tend to fall on deaf ears, and often resented. Particularly concerning this President who has already done so much for women's, [and Gay] issues.
Anyway, he's got his wife and his two daughters to inform his conscience regarding women's issues.
Welcome to the 50 and over club Mr. President