The holidays should be a time of joy . . . but that isn't the case for many post 50 Americans.
Always digging deeper into what women over 50 are really thinking (and not just depending on the academic reports and studies, many of which are frightfully discouraging), I asked friends on Facebook to reveal the one thing that keeps them awake at night, that single nagging worry that haunts their sleep and has the potential to overshadow their generally positive outlook on life.
Conventional wisdom might say that women over 50 are most concerned about aging, how many wrinkles they have and how young they appear. There's big business in convincing us that these should be our focal points. As I've written before, women often feel invisible and unimportant once they are over 50, but that isn't a gut-wrenching fear; it's an observation, and one that most women I know shrug off with a knowing smile.
When I asked them to share their worst fear, none of these issues came up. A few mentioned health as a priority, or maintaining the ability and strength to keep doing everything they are doing. But, based on the many responses, it's clear that these women who are out there working (or trying to find work), taking care of their families and contributing to their communities in meaningful ways have something much bigger than crows feet on their minds.
The one common thread that linked their thoughtful comments was this: the fear of not having enough money as they get older.
This anxiety is not unique to women over 50. In a recent article, the Wall Street Journal reported:
At an age when they should be generating peak incomes and savings, many unemployed and underemployed Americans are applying for early Social Security benefits and spending what's left in their retirement accounts.
Those of us post 50 Americans who are fortunate enough to be employed could be working well past our 60s because we didn't save enough to retire. And even though older Americans may be faring better than other age group -- among all U.S. workers, 20 percent are unemployed, underemployed or have given up looking for jobs compared with 17.4% for those between 55-64 -- it doesn't negate the growing fear that many will have to drain their savings--if any savings exist--just to make ends meet.
Women seem to be in the most precarious position as we age. Financial destitution could end up being more than just a fear for far too many in this country; it could become a fact. In a recent interview, Ken Robbins, a geriatric psychiatrist at the University of Wisconsin said,
Men tend to be more financially secure, make more money, and have bigger pensions and Social Security checks. Widows are often left with dramatically less money.
Compounding the situation even more, women are not regaining jobs lost in the recession as quickly as men. A recent report by the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that of the 1.3 million jobs created in 2010, some 90 percent have gone to men. Women have gained just 149,000 jobs.
Granted, male-dominated industries such as finance and construction were hard-hit in the downturn, resulting in extensive media coverage of the "mansession." But as Deborah Jacobs notes in a recent Forbes story, men have recovered 32% of the total jobs lost between December 2007 and the present; women have recovered just 20%.
As unemployed women of all ages look for work, cultural biases may hinder their search. While anti-discrimination laws prohibit the practice, some employers may secretly believe that male workers will put in longer hours or be more dedicated to their jobs simply because they are not the ones who are, or will be, mothers.
What's the solution?
Given that we are living longer, haven't saved enough for retirement, and clearly need to have the necessary funds to support ourselves as we age, America must understand and address this dire situation--immediately.
Here's what our country should do:
Here's what we can do:
The best advice of all is this: It's okay to be afraid, but it isn't okay to live in fear. Do not let fear get in the way of making prudent financial decisions that could have a positive impact on your future. Stay in touch with others who are supportive, caring and sensitive to your situation. And lastly, take back control of your life. It's never too late.
Follow Barbara Hannah Grufferman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/BGrufferman
Kathy Barthel: Boomers Reject Ageist Ads
Jeanne
www.betterafter50.com
And I'm one of the lucky ones: I have a job. But I but am underemployed; I've been looking for other work for eight months, so that I can try and save more money. It still would not likely be enough to give me any security in the future, but I'll take anything I can get, with under $5,000 in savings. I think most of us would.
You are so right, Barbara, that crow's feet are the last thing on my mind, smile, except as looks might affect my being hired. Thank you for a thoughtful article; I knew I could hardly be alone in this, but this is the first article I have seen addressing it.
Destitution is a very real possibility for us: winning the lottery is not a practical way of trying to combat it, but I bet a lot of us hope we will!
Thank you for your thoughtful comment. Your situation is a fact of life for many post 50 Americans, all of whom are just as nervous as you. I've written and spoke about this before, and I will continue to do so, with the hope that enough people -- especially those who are in "power" positions -- will read, and listen. After all, they, too, will be post 50 Americans some day . . .
I wish you only good healthy and good luck in 2012. Keep in touch . .
Barbara
I am very flattered that you replied in person to my comment. I was interested and pleased to know that there is someone out there talking about our worries. I just didn't happen to come upon any of your other articles.
Yes, it would be lovely if someone in power recognized how very difficult it is likely to be for us post-50 types, through no fault of our own. I have been working since I was 15, but was never in a position to save much. We all have circumstances like that behind us, I think. Sometimes a catastrophic illness takes everything you have, or a divorce may leave you with nothing-- but you know the stories already, smile. In my case it was the former: a small inheritance was swallowed up by a bout with breast cancer.
I know mine is hardly the saddest story out there, however: I just like to think that I stand in solidarity with others in my position, and it's good to know there are authors like you who help bring us together.
Kate
These are not the 1950s where women in marriage = auto-unemployed. That's what the 60s were about...change. I have not known many married women leading lives of "leisure" unemployed by choice... or women whose children are grown and they remain in a spousal child like dependent role with no employment. Dependency is a dangerous situation plus you bring very little to the retirement table, married or single with pension/social security / IRA, etc.
Everyone needs financial security and unfortunately this is often not a priority to younger people until "age and a view of the future" looms ahead. Tennessee Williams said, "It's ok to be young and broke but not old and broke".
Now that incomes, pensions and 401ks have widely been trashed, the upheaval is across the board. We are all re-evaluating resources, where we are financially and how to improve our outlook, potential, priorities, and finances. Women have to work harder and longer and often continue working into the years that used to be considered "retireable" in the past.
My job is my "ace in the hole". I am very thankful that I can physically maintain my job since my husband had to retire early for medical reasons.
Welcome to the Club! And Happy Birthday! I turn 55 today, and while I have all of the same concerns that I wrote about, and which were posted via comments here, I also know that there is strength in numbers and we are one very powerful and strong demographic. All we need to do is band together with a common goal, and raise her voices.
All best in the new year . . .
Barbara
What you do right now - is that what you expected to be doing at this age?
Did you thought of life as an adventure? Did you think of your future wife as a partner in the adventure? Did you talk about traveling the USA and maybe a few places around the world? Did you think of scuba diving the Keys, hunting in Alaska, spending a week in Rome, party in Germany during Octoberfest, etc?
Now, what do you think your wife wanted? A provider, babi-sitter, a chauffer, a banker, travel planner, homwework assistant, car cleaner, etc?
Look back and see the manipulation now? Remember those words as you went out to play pool with friends: "Bring me back some milk for the baby and pampers, honey"! dam it, she was shopping all day long - how can she forget? She did not forget, guy!
1. A Good looking guy, well built, tall. and animal in bed.
2. A Professional bringing in at least $500,000 for her to spend, credit cards, BMW, dining out every week and a cruise every Year.
3. A guy that will do the homework of HER kids - not his, and allow Mom in Law to move in.
4. A guy that will put her of a Throne and be faithfull allways.
5. Lastly and most important: That NONE of those guys find out about the others!
In retail sex sells; Hollister and Abercrombie only hire highschool/college kids for a reason... people don't associate 50+ with hip and cool so retail stores have legitimate reasons to hire younger. Many older people take longer to adapt to new technologies and feel that their way is better than what they've learned which is another reason younger people are better for employers, we are moldable.
When i'm 50 and over (should I live that long) i'll also deal with this discrimination; i'll worry about that in 30 years. ; )
Just grind my bones up and use me as fertilizer when I become obsolete, which is probably not too far away.