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Barbara Hannah Grufferman

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What's in Your Closet? Ten Must-Haves for Post50 Fashionistas

Posted: 12/08/2011 9:04 am

My husband shops for fun. He'll spend hours on the Internet, perusing different sites from Zappos to HauteLook to Orvis in search of the perfect kahki pants. Or, he'll swing over to Bloomingdale's on a Saturday afternoon to see what's on sale, lingering a little longer at Armani.

Me? After I turned 50, I was so confused about what I should or shouldn't wear that I preferred unloading the dishwasher -- my least favorite household chore -- to buying clothes. Shopping, for me, was intimidating and time-consuming. And I usually got hungry, tired, and grumpy, which meant that I ended up buying either the wrong things or stuff I didn't need. On the flip side, though, I love style and I love to look good. It's a dilemma.

I thought about paying my husband an hourly fee to shop for me -- but that option became unnecessary when I decided to write The Best of Everything After 50. While doing research for the book, I had the great opportunity to interview Diane von Furstenberg, Ginny Hilfiger, and a few other fashion-forward experts who gave me guidelines (no rules, please!) on what to wear and to avoid once I turned 50. Here's their master list of "must haves":

  • Dark denim boot cut jeans (Uniqlo, 7 For All Mankind, Levi's, Not Your Daughters Jeans)
  • Dark denim straight leg jeans
  • White jeans (boot cut and straight leg)
  • Great fitting black pants (Theory, Tahari, Joseph, J.Crew, Ann Taylor, Chico)
  • Short, snug-fitting black jacket (Theory, Tahari, Ann Taylor, Michael Kors)
  • Black pencil skirt (wear it to the knee, and make sure it has a little stretch, but isn't skin tight -- Theory, Diane von Furstenberg, Kors, Tahari, and check out this one from Target)
  • Cardigans (best year-round fashion accessory you'll ever find -- look for the Classic Cardigan from Merona brand at Target and buy one in every color. Make sure to take a size or two smaller than you would normally get or else you'll end up with a "Mumsy" sweater)
  • Cropped black leather jacket (shop around for one that fits you perfectly: cropped to the waist is best, and no, a black leather jacket is not too young for us!)
  • Tank tops (buy a few in white, black and cream to wear under the cardigans, with jeans and skirts. The fit should be snug not loose, so size down if you need to -- Uniqlo, Target's Mossimo Supply Co, American Apparel, Banana Republic)
  • Dresses -- wrap and sheath (Target by Merona, Diane von Furstenberg, Theory, Nicole Miller, Hugo Boss)


I now have all these pieces, which I mix and match, depending on the occasion, for different looks. By adding a few key accessories, like a cool necklace, big ring, scarf, perfect shoes, or a bag, and I'm ready to rock and roll. My two favorite purchases were the Merona dress from Target (which costs $39.99) and the cropped black leather motorcycle jacket from Saks (it costs a tad more than the Target dress, but given how often I wear it, it was oh-so-worth it!) I wear it with the jeans, pants, dresses, and pencil skirt . . . year round. The leather should be buttery and thin so you can wear it in lieu of a black jacket or cardigan. Check out this short video showing the different ways I can wear the Merona dress and Target cardigans:

What's the best overall style advice for women over fifty? We don't want strict rules, but there are some pretty good guidelines to help achieve a polished, confidence-boosting look:

  • Find a good tailor and make her your friend
  • Wear clothes that define your waist, no matter how big or small it is
  • Use a personal shopper, or a great sales person if your favorite store doesn't have a personal shopping department (or try a fantastic online personal shopper: www.what2wearwhere.com)
  • Spend more money for pants, skirts and jackets (especially that "must-have" black leather cropped motorcycle jacket . . . you'll have it for years)
  • Try discount retailers for basics like tank tops and cardigans
  • Keep it simple and stay away from bling
  • Steer clear of frilly, ruffly, puffy, or overly girly styles
  • Think "cardigan" before "jacket" for skirts and dresses (it's a softer, easier look)
  • Be careful of loud prints, and lean towards solids
  • Invest in a few great bags
  • Keep your skirt and dress lengths to the knee which is most flattering
  • Have at least two perfectly fitting LBDs (little black dresses) in your closet at all times, and at least one terrific little black cardigan to wear with your LBD, if it's sleeveless
  • Invest in some good new bras, including one specifically for wearing under a t-shirt or other smooth shirts, and make sure to get fitted by a pro at your local lingerie or department store.
  • Stop wearing Granny panties. Try on a pair of Hanky Panky thongs (or even their boycut panties), and you'll never go back. Also, don't wear white panties when wearing white or light colored pants; instead, go with the lingerie that's closest to your own skin color and they'll blend right in.


Having a basic wardrobe is essential, but there's a world of fantastic fashion out there, and your personal style should be your guide. Pick a look that reinforces your confidence and sexiness, put it on, and then go out and live your life. Don't worry about what you look like; we did too much of that in our younger -- and more insecure -- years. Now, we should enjoy ourselves and not waste time overthinking every fashion choice.

Best advice? Forget rules and just wear what makes you feel good about . . . you.

For more tips on living your best life after 50, check out The Best of Everything After 50: The Experts' Guide to Style, Sex, Health, Money and More . . . and stay tuned for news about my new book!
Staying connected is a powerful tool: "Friend" me on Facebook and "Tweet" me on Twitter (BGrufferman).
Turning 50 is more than an age . . . it's a movement!

 
 
 

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surfandshop
"What we think, we become."
01:03 PM on 12/13/2011
I really need wardrobe help, my teens try to help me....I will follow your advice, It's fun to look nice and it takes years off my attitude!
09:29 PM on 12/12/2011
I'd like to add to this list shoes that are amazing for those of us who love the look of high heels but not the discomfort - Cole Haan with Nike Air technology. They are incredibly comfortable, even with a 4" heel. A little pricey, but if you're on a budget, look for them on sale, especially online. And they last forever, so they're worth the investment!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
10:03 PM on 12/12/2011
I LOVE them!!! I have a pair of Nike Air "booties" from a few years ago . . . still going strong. These are highly recommended in my book, by the way.

Thanks for reading and commenting . . . .
11:34 AM on 12/13/2011
You're welcome. If you get the chance, come visit my blog - emptyhousefullmind.com. Views of life from a midlife empty-nester.
09:18 AM on 12/12/2011
Finally a practical "guide" for women's clothing for the over 50 crowd. It's difficult to shop and dress at any age with all of the junk you find out there. Thanks Barbara for your suggestions
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
10:22 AM on 12/10/2011
Dear readers:
This is one the main reasons I love writing for Huffington Post: you are a wonderful, open, opinionated group and have no qualms whatsoever about voicing your thoughts. That's what I've come to expect--and love--about all of you who read and leave comments on my articles. Keep your ideas coming because we all learn from each other. And please remember that the "must haves" listed in this article are just simply ideas for you to consider, and maybe even try . . . certainly not RULES! One of the things we post50 women and men cherish the most is we understand that we don't need to follow any rules, and in fact, we're making up our own as go go along.
So again, thank you for your input here, and in other articles I've posted during the year and a half I've been a part of the Huffington Post community.
Barbara
isisreptiles
Pro-choice, pro marriage equality
05:32 AM on 12/10/2011
Almost everything listed is either not my style or unflattering to my figure type. There is way too much emphasis on pants. I don't like them and they don't flatter me. How about more skirts and dresses, but forget the pencil skirts. They look terrible on me.
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
10:40 AM on 12/10/2011
Skirts and dresses are great! I love them, too. Did you see the black one I'm wearing in that short video in the article? Basic, but can be dressed up or down. Also, dresses or skirts with black tights and boots or booties are a great option. And in the winter, the skirt can be a little over the knee if the tights are opaque. Do you agree?
Thanks for the input!
Barbara
isisreptiles
Pro-choice, pro marriage equality
05:01 PM on 12/10/2011
I like the dress, but I could do without the cardigan over it. Just not my style. Depending on the woman, I don't see a problem with skirts above the knee as long as they aren't too short, and I agree that one could (and probably should) go shorter than knee-length with the opaque tights. I'm in Southern California and I never see opaque tights being worn here.

My issue is the clothing offered for my age group. I don't want to dress like a teen, but neither do I want to dress my age, and I definitely don't want the conservative tailored looks I see. Shoe offerings are even more limited. I was recently shopping for a pair of semi-dressy low heeled shoes. Just about everything is towering heels on high platforms. I like them, but I couldn't possibly wear anything like that. The few low heels available were either the type that would be worn in a very conservative corporate environment or just plain old lady styles. Who wants that? I hear the same thing from many women my age. We want stylish, youthful styles that are still age and figure appropriate, but they simply do not exist, especially in the more moderately-priced clothes.
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girldog
I support Elizabeth Warren
12:36 AM on 12/10/2011
Straight leg jeans (white??) and tank tops? Glad they look good on you Ms Grufferman but I won't be wearing them. Black leather jacket, huh? Sounds like you wrote a book all about what looks good on you. How about addressing different body types and provide some real information to the over-50 set?
06:07 PM on 12/09/2011
this sounds like a talbots/target ad. how boring. i'm 47, so, i'm going to enjoy my last years in the forties to the fullest, but this advice makes women look like 1990's Gap mannequins. Boring. Plus, the focus is too much on pants/slacks. Give me the skirts and dresses baby! i haven't worn a pair of pants other than jeans in about 7 years. Legs are the last to go, so, ladies, if you gottem, flaunt em!
05:17 PM on 12/09/2011
So happy I'm already "with it" with my Seven jeans....thanks for sharing.
Jeanne
www.betterafter50.com
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
D. A. Wolf
Founder, Daily Plate of Crazy
04:17 PM on 12/09/2011
Those of us of the Lilliputian persuasion are also a fan of the leggings and boots look, with a longer layering of shirt and jacket... and always, always, with great ("I feel wonderful") lingerie underneath.

For some of us, it's amazing what an emotional boost we feel, with a small amount of time to put ourselves together. (A friend's mother, French, is 83 years young and always, always looks elegant. She is a woman of humor, ease, and grace. She wears classics, and has several colorful and stylish glasses that look fantastic against her skin and silver hair.)
03:21 PM on 12/09/2011
The only thing I disagree with is the white jeans. They are not universally flattering on everyone unless you find the PERFECT pair made out of super thick denim because white jeans tend to show every lump and bump. I'd insert "chinos" or even black jeans as a replacement for the white jeans. Everything else is a nail on the head!
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HUFFPOST BLOGGER
Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
10:34 AM on 12/10/2011
You are so right about the white jeans. However, I found a few great pairs of that "thicker but not too thick" material at Levi's, Uniqlo, and Not My Daughter's Jeans. Straight legged (but not skinny to the ankle) are great, as are "bootcut" . . .
Thanks for reading and commenting,
Barbara
03:19 PM on 12/09/2011
Not crazy about the all black advice. Too drab, too predictable and too unflattering to many. You don't have to dress young, but it is important to look contemporary. Go for a few up to date key pieces each season and add some bling also. It doesn't have to expensive. Older women, particularly those looking for work or influence, cannot afford to look dowdy. Send a strong message of being current and aware.
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10:31 AM on 12/09/2011
A knit topper (cartigan if you will) and a tank are essential for heat control. I like the top to match the pants-usually black- and the tank to be the color. I've always thought that for short people the long line of a single color is flattering.

Nothing was said about hose. That's my confusion right now. Hose? no hose? tights?
09:30 AM on 12/09/2011
Michael Kors makes the perfect little black dresses, dress them up or funk them down. I love them. Another must have for me is black riding boots. Perhaps, I should think of something with color:)
08:58 AM on 12/09/2011
Since you know you will turn 50 it is cheaper and healthier to spend the previous 20 years with a workout regimen that will keep you at the least toned and at the best ripped...........Then everything and anything you wear will look good:
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Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
07:06 AM on 12/10/2011
For sure! And then all of these things I listed when look even better . . .
Thans for commenting,
Barbara
07:54 AM on 12/09/2011
With all due respect, Ms. Grufferman offers a simplistic strategy geared towards women with toned and balanced bodies. The list she offers could apply to just about any age.

As an experienced fashion consultant with many 50+ clients, there are many minefields in this list. Unless personal coloring is dramatic, black will age like nothing else - highlighting puffiness, lines and creating shadows on the face where there are none. And if your weight has shifted south, nothing says "look at my big bottom" more than white jeans. Cardigans can appear "schlumpy" on women without defined muscle mass and perfect posture. Legs often age first so skirts and dresses will not be the best option.

I shake my head at the notion that "fashion experts" are either people with clothing lines to sell or stores' personal shoppers (in actuality, the top salespeople in their stores who earn commissions on how much they sell). If women really want to understand what to wear, a couple hours with an independent and certified image consultant will return huge personal and financial benefits - allowing you to wear clothing that you love and saving you from making bad purchases that never get worn. Color, body type, and personal style can be professionally analyzed with reports and guidelines the client can take away and use on their own. A simple click on www.aici.org (Association of Image Consultants International) will help any woman find the right consultant who will offer targeted solutions to her specific issues.
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gavrielle
Empty... Empty... Empty...
08:49 AM on 12/09/2011
I absolutely agree with all your points. I avoided the black leather jacket and went for a nice rich brown that didn't make me look sallow. White doesn't work for me either. Again, I look sallow. And a cardigan is what my grandmother ought to be wearing.
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Barbara Hannah Grufferma
author, The Best of Everything After 50
10:37 AM on 12/10/2011
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, but again, I want to point out that a cardigan CAN look "granny-ish" if it's too big. However, these snugger fitting ones really look great and can add vibrant color to any outfit. Check out the ones I'm wearing in my little video, with the black a-line dress (that cost $39.99!).
Also, brown, navy and gray are other great color options for basic clothes, instead of black. My cousin, who is a stylish 62 and whom I consider my fashion mentor, steers clear of black, but LOVES navy.
All the best,
Barbara