Have you known women who always put everyone else before themselves and their own needs? This is something that is often chosen because putting others before oneself produces its own rewards. I am sure that we all have known of those who may have had limited resources but made sure that the children were fed even when their mother had nothing left to feed herself. Or perhaps we know about the woman who is being abused but does nothing to protect herself because she knows that the lack of conflict will usually diffuse her abuser's attack. But, what about a woman who sacrifices to the extent that it affects her health and potentially her life?
There seems to be a belief that women who do not get breast cancer screenings and/or other medical care do so because they don't know any better. The belief is that these women don't understand that breast cancer can spread from the breast and ultimately kill you. But if you happen to believe that this is the reason why some women never get screened or do anything if they happen to find a lump in their breast, let me offer another very real-life perspective.
If you have never had to fight for what you and your family need, it might be hard to understand that such situations really exist. I have known women who are fully aware of the need for breast cancer screening and also know where they may have this testing done if they can't pay for it. However, to them, it doesn't matter whether they have breast cancer or not because they are the sole providers for their families. Even if testing and treatment could be given to them at no cost, they do not find themselves in a position to avail themselves of such care because of their own families' situations.
Most of them are working at least one if not a second and/or third job. To continue to provide for their children they can't conceive of a way to keep the family going while they are undergoing treatment for breast cancer, even if they are diagnosed. Therefore, screenings are a waste of time and money and effort because they are not going to do anything about getting treatment even if they need it. In their minds, there is no sense in pursuing such a path because regardless of what might be found, they are not in a position to do the follow up treatment recommended. If cancer were to be discovered, there is no way that they can take the time away from work because it means that there is no money for them to feed their families and keep a roof over their heads. Therefore, they believe that they have one choice and that is to keep on working and doing for others as long as they can. This way, they believe, they have done their very best.
I can understand someone making this choice. You do the very best that you can even under adverse circumstances in order to have respect for yourself. This is your legacy and you will continue down this path until you reach the end. Your value is based on what you can give to others. But, if you are willing to look just a little deeper, you might find that this person believes that she has nothing else for which to keep living and fighting. She has no personal hopes or goals or desires for her own future and just wants to hang in there long enough so that the children are old enough to go out on their own and take care of themselves. And she can find no further motivation to keep on going after that. Therefore, it doesn't matter if she has advanced breast cancer that will bring an end to a life that has no other meaning or purpose.
Therefore, perhaps the next time that you are facing the question of why a woman is not getting screened for breast cancer, you might consider one more reason. We don't always have all of the answers on anyone else's situation so I think that we might want to consider asking more questions before making final evaluations. If we can get to the real issues, we just might be able to save a life and I think that this would be well worth any efforts that we can personally make.