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04/16/2014 09:23 am ET Updated Jun 16, 2014

The Economics of Abbott and Costello, Part II

Apparently in many parts of the country, the minimum wage is below the poverty line, so in essence you can be employed, working over 40 hours a week, and still be unable to provide a for a family of three. I found this fact perplexing, so I thought I needed the careful logic of Abbott and Costello.

Lou: I am below the poverty line, things are desperate.
Bud: Then you need a job... go to work, Lou.
Lou: I have a job!
Bud: Then all is well.
Lou: But I can't afford to live and support my family.
Bud: I thought you said you had a job.
Lou: I do.
Bud: Then why'd you say you can't support your family?
Lou: Because I can't!
Bud: But you just said you had a job.
Lou: I know.
Bud: Do you have a job or are you living below the poverty line?
Lou: I'm living below the poverty line. A lot of us are.
Bud: Then you don't have a job?
Lou: I do have a job. A minimum-wage job that I can't even support my family on.
Bud: Are you working illegally?
Lou: It's a legal job, Bud!
Bud: A legal job and you're living below the poverty line?
Lou: Precisely.
Bud: Oh, I get it. You're working part-time?
Lou: It's full-time. Forty hours a week! They need to raise the minimum wage.
Bud: But if they raise the minimum wage, it will put people out of work.
Lou: Who?
Bud:The people who are living below the poverty line.
Lou: I'm living below the poverty line!
Bud: Exactly. Isn't it better to be working and living below the poverty line, than not working and living below the poverty line? That way you have a sense of pride.
Lou: But I need more money to get by.
Bud: Do you want to put people out of work? Do you want to be responsible for them losing their jobs?
Lou: No.
Bud: That's the spirit. You all share in getting less.
Lou: Why can't we all share in getting more?
Bud: That's socialism.
Lou: Then what's sharing and getting less?
Bud: That's capitalism!
Lou: Why is getting a little more socialism?
Bud: Because if you all get a little more, someone is going to get less.
Lou: Who?
Bud: The person who used to get more. The job makers.
Lou: Why can't they make a little less?
Bud: Well, that's un-American! This is the free market... Do you want to destroy
American capitalism?
Lou: Of course not.
Bud: Do you want to stifle the American economy. Suffocate ingenuity?
Lou: No.
Bud: That's the spirit.
Lou: But I can't support my family. Bud, I work 40 hours a week, 52 weeks a year, no vacations, and I still can't support my family.
Bud: Criticize. Criticize. Be thankful you have a minimum wage. There was a time you could have been paid less than minimum.
Lou: There was less than minimum?
Bud: Yes! Be thankful that these are the good times.