As the age of insanity rolls along, lying has reached a new level in political activism. Apparently, you can lie freely now. Lying is allowed. On any subject. And there is no shame to the lie. So I decided to talk to Dr. R.H. Flutes, head of the Lying Institute of America, to explain the lying epidemic that has been sweeping this country.
Q: In the past, if you were caught in a lie, you were discredited.
Dr: Yes, that was the old-fashioned way of thinking. Today a creative lie is worthy of celebration.
Q: But a lie is a lie, isn't it?
Dr: What is so wonderful about the truth? Truth has been around for thousands of years and what has it gotten us? Look at the RNC the other night. Glorious! One lie after another. Did you hear the cheers? Truth is hardly as exciting! And you can't persuade people as easily with the truth. Truth is a harsh medicine. A good lie is soothing to the soul.
Q: Do you teach these lying principles?
Dr: We do have a six-week course that opens the door to creative lying. But that only scratches the surface. But to get the best techniques, you need the extended course.
Q: What are some of the basic teachings of lying?
Dr: Conviction is very important. You can't lie in a halfhearted tone. A lie needs strength in voice commitment and body language. Take Paul Ryan's speech. Brilliant. He lied on almost every subject, but he was committed, elegant. His lies soared. He is a New Age liar. If he keeps his lying edge, he should be a powerful political figure for years to come.
Q: You don't find that alarming?
Dr: Alarming? A good liar is worth his weight in gold. The role of a politician is to convince others to follow. If lying works better than truth, why handicap yourself? No one celebrates someone who is truthful anymore. Winning is the ultimate prize. Is there any glory to telling the truth and losing?
Q: What did you think were some of the lying highlights of the convention?
DR. I thought there was something truly exhilarating to watch a packed arena of 30 or 40 thousand people cheering the idea of having their healthcare taken away. They were so convinced by all the lies about healthcare that everyone in the arena was willing to give up all healthcare protection. It was a wonderful sight to see. And here's the best part: the lies were so well constructed, that you didn't even have to offer an alternative health care plan. Just the idea of not having healthcare was enough to bring the people to their feet. That was a A+ on the lying chart. Almost brought tears of joy to my eyes.