THE BLOG
04/08/2014 09:17 am ET | Updated Jun 08, 2014

The United States of America, Incorporated

Now that the Supreme Court has decided that elections can be played with by the high rollers, it's time to admit that anything that we value can be bought for the right price. It's time for a change of name as well: The United States of America, Incorporated. It has a nice, greedy ring to it. Very direct, and the intentions of the country are clear. No more false dreams.

I have a proposal that supports this commercialism of America and will raise enormous sums of money. Lease the rights to government buildings, much like we do with sport stadiums throughout the country. Met Life Stadium, Fed Ex Field, AT&T Stadium, Sports Authority Field, Bank of America Stadium. I am not sure where these stadiums are anymore, but they are football stadiums. You can look it up if you have nothing better to do.

The Sports Authority Senate Building has a nice ring to it. If Gillette Stadium works for the New England Patriots, why not the Gillette FBI Building? Not to leave out some of our billionaires who contribute enormous dollars to the candidates they choose, how about a few high-profile monuments? The Koch Brothers Washington Monument? That should receive a high rental!! The Sheldon Adelson Lincoln Memorial? Or The Lucas Oil Lincoln Memorial? Lucas Oil could be looking for higher visibility since they have a stadium that most people can't remember. Lease it to the highest bidder. There is a lot of money out there for the thoughtful entrepreneur who wants to increase the government coiffeurs.

The bottom line is paramount to this new America and it's time to put our money-making hats on. Forget that it lacks dignity or decorum. Money talks. The big lease that should pull in the big bucks is the naming rights to the White House. Hefty dollars for that choice piece of real estate. Think of it: Every time a newsman stands in front of the White House, the leasing rights buyer gets to hear the company name: "This is Brian Williams at the Walmart White House..." "This is Wolf Blitzer at the Miracle Gro® Rose Garden." Every corporation or billionaire will see dollar signs dancing in front of their bottom-line eyes!

This is a bonanza for our treasury. The Supreme Court has freed up our sense of propriety. Our democracy is for sale.

The Supreme Court may already be sold, but the naming rights are available.

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