In Bret Easton Ellis' novel American Psycho, Patrick Bateman is a handsome, successful 1980s Wall Street investment banker, born and raised in the lap of luxury. He is also, of course, a cold-blooded rapist, torturer, and killer. When he begins to confess or hint at his murderous activities to those around him, people misunderstand him or assume he is joking. He does not have the face of a killer; people are so focused on his image that they can't--or won't--see what lurks beneath the surface.
Early Sunday morning, George Huguely, a lacrosse player at the University of Virginia, allegedly murdered his ex-girlfriend, Yeardley Love, a fellow lacrosse player and senior at UVA. According to reports, he kicked in her door, pushed her, and slammed her head into the wall repeatedly. Huguely came from Chevy Chase, MD, a nice suburb of Washington DC, where he attended Landon, a private school.
Shouldn't there have been some early signs of his anger management problems? Not if no one was looking.
Like the characters surrounding the handsome Patrick Bateman in American Psycho, we have a tendency to elevate wealthy, good-looking college athletes to God-like status. Their aggression is often viewed as part of their particular brand of charm. It is time to rethink the cultural norms that convince us to excuse aggression.
Any solution to domestic violence must involve the community. When it comes to students, schools and colleges are a central part of their community. There are good programs out there at the secondary and university level that can be utilized to raise awareness of dating issues and combat, or prevent, domestic violence.
Early adolescence, the time spent in middle school and high school, is a critically formative time for young people to develop healthy ideas about relationships and conflict resolution. This requires two things: educating youth, and fostering a school environment that is safe and open to reports of abuse.
Becky's Fund, a national non-profit focused on domestic violence prevention and education, has launched a domestic violence college tour, presented to over 200 schools over the last three years. We have also partnered with Girl Scouts to teach young girls about healthy relationships, respect, and protecting oneself mentally and physically. Becky's Fund holds public awareness events with youth to address warning signs of dating violence as well as resources for help. We use courses, online programs, and Public Service Announcements to address dating violence and resources to get help.
The tools to combat dating violence exist. But educators must use them.
If UVA's confused response to the murder is any indication, not enough is being done to deal with domestic violence. The school sent out an email with safety tips including a reminder to be aware while crossing the street, and advised students to avoid letting strangers into locked buildings. While those are generally good things to keep in mind, they have little to do with the act of domestic violence that happened between Love and her ex-boyfriend, Huguely.
Had UVA responded with relevant information, advice, and resources, it would have made a difference--but it would still fall short. UVA must take steps to prevent future cases of relationship violence. Schools cannot rely on reactionary approaches to dating abuse, they need to take proactive measures before a tragedy occurs.
Co-Authored by Julie Sobel, a volunteer for Becky's Fund and Becky Lee, Executive Director of Becky's Fund
For more information on Becky's Fund and the work they do to help end and prevent domestic violence, please visit www.beckysfund.org.
Follow Becky Lee on Twitter: www.twitter.com/rebekahslee
Truly, a wolf in sheep's clothing. Unfortunately, he was profiled.
Being profiled with such 'positive' attributes...because of his race, etc. How....could anyone believe he was a 'clean cut' killer.
This should put chills under anyones skin.
It shouldn't take a murder to draw people's attention to the fact that violence against women is a huge problem on campuses.
I think that UVA doing student background checks is over-reacting. This is a tragedy, to be sure, and jilted lovers sometimes kill. But to turn the opportunity for dating and companionship into an exercise in id management, information gathering and interrogative technique kind of defeats the purpose, unless you want to continue promoting fear of men (and that seems like your bottom line since you know little to nothing about Huguely or serial killers)
You raise some interesting points, but also many follow-up questions.
Is there any evidence that the programs you suggest are effective? What exactly are the programs you suggest? Why are they better than other alternatives?
If you are going to convince colleges and universities to implement these programs, shouldn't you have some research basis to show that they are effective?
Also George Hughely is an adult, he is 22 and has been an adult for 4 years. He is solely responsible for his own actions, just as any 22 year old who is not attending university is responsible for his actions.
Domestic abusers come in all shapes, sizes, sports, hobbies, education levels, upbringing and race. This one happened to be white and play lacrosse. He could easily have been black and working for the forest service , and still found a victim to abuse.
Things like the Duke mess and the UVA murder and many other damaging acts will continue on US university campuses until the adults there hold themselves and students accountable to acceptable behavior. You break the rules once and you're out. Kicking some of these kids out of school would do it. ZERO tolerance. I said this to the head of Student Affairs at my son's university and I was told--If we did that, we would have no one attending our university.
Then they are accepting the wrong students PLUS, I don't think the answer was correct.Students don't want to be kicked out. Zero tolerance, a few kicked out of school would do it. University personnel has to act like adults first, though.
Big money, big sports, policemen with hands tied by universities---all, problems. UVA highlights the problem with our nation's schools--- this situation isn't aberrant. Neither was the Duke one. And many many others. The adults DO NOT CARE.
Been there with my son and seen it---at my own alma mater. Wake up America.
College "kids" are legally adults. The biggest problem is that we set the expectation bar so low for behavior, that we have so many problems.
But I think George Hughely was wired to be an angry drunk and abuser, it would not matter if he was in college, the army, working at a steel mill. He was going to abuse a woman.
One of the lessons we can learn from this tragic incident is that we need to stop spoiling our children and giving them everything and anything they want. Our children need to learn how to work hard, stand on their own and have compassion for those around them. They need to learn how to lose gracefully as well as how to win. And, they need to stop seeing themselves as the center of the universe (and their parent's universe).