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My Ugly Dog
"That dog is ugly," a girl from the high school across the street spat at me as she walked by with her friends. I've heard it before - sometimes it still hurts my feelings, especially when I think about how much better Brenda is than when we* first found her. Granted, she's never been a looker. At best, she resembles a junkyard dog, but she's my dog.
Brenda spent the first five years of her life in a basement in the Chelsea projects, either in a rapestand or cage as a "breeding bitch." The vet said she's birthed about 80 pups that were likely used to fight or as bait. The cage was so small that her badly developed bones and atrophied muscles make her walk with a wobbly gait like a puppy, though she is about six now and often damn cantankerous. When Brenda was thrown out, literally tied to a railing on West 19th street and left to die, she was covered in mange, infected from head to toe, and had never seen a car, a bus, a bike, or a blade of grass. Dog toys and balls baffled her. She reminded me of those sad stories of children kept in closets who suffer grave developmental and psychological delays as a result.
Some people say we should have put her down; she was so sick and needed so much rehabilitation. Some days I almost agree. Love doesn't conquer all when you have, understandably, long-term, deep-seated trust issues with human beings and all other animals, and continue to be terrified of loud noises, sudden movements, heat, cold, bright light, no light, and the list goes on...
We walk by couples eating at sidewalk cafes along Seventh Avenue - sometimes they both stare, wait until I've passed, and comment on what might possess me to have picked such a mutt, or maybe in kinder way, wonder what happened that she looks so "scrappy." Meanwhile, there are moments I look at them and wonder how much "looking good together" factors into their choice. Certainly in tabloids it seems having a beautiful date (either on the red carpet or in a "Just Like Us" shot in the parking lot) is something carefully considered. Is there pressure to keep trading up? Does a narcissistic celeb (or anyone, for that matter) more often choose a good-looking mate since they consider that person an "extension" of themselves? **
How my boyfriends react to Brenda certainly matters to me. Do they try to find something endearing about her ("Listen to that bark, ...quite a set of lungs on that 'ole girl") or are they visibly annoyed when she darts out in front of us full force because a plastic bag rustled and startled her ("Great, she's embarrassing too").
"Sex and the City" wannabees with little dogs in shoulder bags eye us warily. Why would anyone get such a homely, panting, grumbling, stumbling-like-she's-drunk, dog? No one wants to pet her; no one makes kissing or cooing noises at her when we pass. Often the same kids from the high school will bark at her without provocation. Like the fit guy with the fat girlfriend or the baby with the undeniably froggy eyes, are they puzzled at the odd coupling or do they feel awkward pity? Or do they assume she possesses redeemable qualities that aren't skin deep? Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. For me, the looks my ugly dog receives are more telling of the looker.
*My friend Sara and I take turns caring for Brenda. To read more about Sara's experience with Brenda check out raisingrescues.blogspot.com
**Obviously, not all celebrities are narcissistic, though research shows there are more personality disorders like narcissism in entertainers.
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Dr Vranich:
Thanks for brightening my day. Go, Brenda!
Dr. Belisa, you are great! Brenda is one lucky pooch, and I celebrate your dog rescue work. I hope it inspires HP readers to go to a shelter or get in touch with a rescue organization if and when they decide to get a pet. Dogs are wonderful companions; they really are unquestioning love on four paws.
I do think that how people respond to animals -- all animals -- reveals a lot about their personalities. Very self-centered people don't respond well to animals. They're too concerned that they might get dirty or something. That's reall a good judge of character -- if someone can just get right down there and put their arms around a mangy, smelly dog then he's alright with me.
I hear you about the boyfriend thing! That's a total deal-breaker for me. While I don't necessarily think my dog is "ugly" per se, she can be sort of needy and obnoxious (a lot of that is because she was a rescue) and if my date is visibly annoyed -- see ya. Love me -- love my dog.
I'm glad that some celebrities, like Alicia Silverstone and Pamela Anderson, use their status to draw attention to animal cruelty. I'm glad Dr. Vranich is doing the same. Having a public voice is not something to be taken for granted, and I'm really glad that Dr. Vranich uses this platform to draw attention to issues close to her heart.
I've always thought that so-called "ugly dogs" were actueally the cutest. The super-inbreed show-looking dogs creep me out. Same with super-perfect people. I like imperfection. It makes the world more interesting.
There is no such thing as "an ugly dog". They are all beautiful, in different ways. Beauty is skin deep, but dogs are reflections of "ugly owners". They are always faithful, no matter what their treatment. I have owned many dogs in my life, every one of them special in their own way. Not one "stupid" one, either, all smarter than a lot of people I have known. Bless you for seeing the redeeming qualities in Brenda, she will never forget that you saved her.
Absolutely. People are made ugly by their actions not their looks. I have never met a truly evil animal like I have evil people -- and even with people -- their temperment probably resulted from abuse, just like animals.
"For me, the looks my ugly dog receives are more telling of the looker. "
Absolutely. God bless you for how you rescued and have taken care of Brenda.
I agree with you that dog abuse is very horrible, but the tone of this has thrown me off.
Is this really about dog abuse or about other people hurting your feelings? Certainly they should see, just by looking at your dog, that you are a person who does good in this world? Don't they know that you would not have gotten a dog that looks like this (whatever "this" is) if it were not a poor abused dog?
Sorry, I know lots of folks in dog rescue. Lots of horrible stories. There are lots of everyday heroes who poor their last dime into saving dogs. And heartbreak when they had to put some down because they were too aggressive or other issues.
I also know plenty of people with dogs they had as puppies that had not been abused, but still had people say really stupid things to them on walks.
Your dog is still a dog. It is not an extension of you, no matter how much you love it. If you think that about your dog, you need to do some serious homework watching the Dog Whisperer on National Geographic.
And I'm a "love me, love my dog" kind of person. For me, that means you have to put up with a lot of drool and hair all over the place. Some people don't like to come over because of it. C'est la vie.
I think it's about people showing their true colors by how they react to Brenda.
No, what you are seeing is her perception towards the reaction.
First get past the first hurdle, she is a pittbull, and some people react strongly to them, not without good reason. In the link she provided it is described how the dog, under a stressful situation even went after the handler with a muzzle on. Would any stranger be advised to make cooing noises, touch the face or head of such a dog? I would not allow people to come close to the dog unless I had 100% control over the situation.
Kids say and do stupid things. I once had a kid throw firecrackers at the foot of my 130lb dog as soon as she heard she was afraid of firecrackers, just to see what my dog would do.
Look, I understand dog snobbery. But on the other side of it is dog foolishness.
I have always had the larger breeds. It demands a good handler. We don't let our dogs get away with near the behaviors people let their little dogs get away with and I do get fed up with clueless little dog owners ("he's just being friendly"..... while the dog is acting very aggressively). But the fact is, the larger the dog the less you take for granted, and the more responsible you have to be, and the weirder people's responses are to you, no matter how gentle your dog or breed is.
Brenda is lucky to have found such a caring and compassionate person to look after her after such a poor start in life. I agree that the comments and looks you and Brenda get while walking about town say more about the person looking, commenting, or snickering than anything else. Our society can be so shallow and callous at times.
Brenda's story also reminds me of how very important early socialization is in dogs, as it is in people. Dog trainer and vet Dr. Ian Dunbar advocates early socialization in pups (exposing pups to as much stimuli as possible when they are young) so they can function with confidence in the world. I know Brenda wasn't fortunate enough to have had that kind of exposure, but this is a good opportunity to tell others just how important early experiences are in the development in an adult dog. He writes about it on Dog Star Daily: http://www.dogstardaily.com/socialization-with-people
Brenda must have a big heart to have survived her ordeal and still be as functional as she is, she is one lucky dog in many ways.
Exactly. It's that whole thing with pittbulls, rottweilers, chows, and other dogs that are often bred to fight. Where I live, if one of those dogs is brought to a shelter, it is killed immediately. It's horrible. I do think those breeds have some very aggressive instincts, but it's all in how you raise them.
exactly. i have 2 pitbulls right now, they're both very cute, sweet and goofy dogs. they get along great with other dogs, love people and kids, and i've never had a problem with them. i've owned others in the past (all rescues), and they brought nothing but joy into my life (and the lives of all who encountered them). it's not the breed, it's the owner. i had so many people who would stop me on our daily walks in the park and thank me for helping to dispel
the myth of all pitbulls being vicious killers. oh, and if anyone wants to do some good, there's a great organization that rescues animals called best friends, out of utah. they do amazing work, and can always use donations.
I'm confused. According to the link you give, Brenda is looking for a home? True? I'm not asking because I'm interested, I already have a house filled with rescues on Clomicalm and Prozac . But your heartwarming story turned into a heartbreaking one for me when I learned you're looking to get rid of her. Forever homes make for better endings.
I think Dr. Vranich was providing that link for others who would like to rescue a dog -- NOT to get rid of her own dog.
I hope there's a special place in hell for those who abuse children and dogs. Both are full of innocence and love.
All animals, including the ones confined to factory farms, are innocent. Think about the next time you have breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Or the next time you buy a pair of shoes. Or about the floods in Iowa, with the pigs drowning.
Drowning was a better life than they led in the factory farm.
Our dogs and cats (I have two and three, respectively) are just like them. In need of love. Next time you take a bite, remember.
How do you resolve having a carnivore as a pet (and cats are obligate carnivores)? Do you not look at the kibble ingredients, or canned food?
Shouldn't vegans just have fruit eating bats or birds? Or lizards.
I go in the opposite direction. I feed my dogs raw meaty bones. I go out of my way to find beef heart, beef livers (ever cut up a 17lb beef liver?), turkey necks, chicken feet and all the other stuff that most people won't look at. It has given me an appreciation of all the waste we have in our society and I no longer cringe when I see other cultures being much more holistic in eating all parts of an animal and not just certain parts like we do.
This when I don't eat beef or pork personally. But I do eat fish and fowl and I have even started putting chicken feet in when making my own chicken broth.
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Abusing adults only gets the regular hell?
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Goofy mutts are the best.
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Heroic and compassionate.
It baffles my mind how people can so completely disregard animals; time and again these stories are heartbreaking. I think as much as you've given your dog (a chance at a life with lots of love in a safe home) she's given you a lot as well. Animals really extract the highest in us; they are so vulnerable and innocent. My own cat was a dumpster kitty; he was found in a NYC dumpster at about two weeks of age.
When I brought him home (I wasn't looking for a pet) he was flea ridden...and too young to treat with all those flea products on the market....but found homeopathic remedies to treat it and bathed him often; though not before he infested the house and I was covered with flea bites.
Theo is a trooper; and has made me infinitely more patient and kind.
Are you a vegan? Because, if not, every time you sit down to dinner you willfully ignore the suffering of millions of animals.
Yes are you?
I, for one, have been working my way towards being a vegan for several years. It is hard to do after a lifetime of bad habits.
But we all have to start everywhere, and compassion for cats and dogs is a good place to start. Don't criticize that just as a means to try to win an argument against anyone who isn't a vegan.
I meant we all have to start SOMEwhere - sorry
Absolutely! Go vegan!
As a dog owner, (5 chihuahuas, (mom, dad, three babys), a poodle and a labridoodle), I am sadden to think what your dog went though before you found her. I am not a religious person, but if there is a God, then God bless you and bless Brenda, I hope she has a long happy life with you and your friend Sara.
I'm glad to know that you're there for Brenda--a dog who's been through what she has needs all of the consideration she can get. I'll never understand what makes someone harm an animal--it's so grotesque what they did to her and are probably still doing to so many other animals.
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