"That dog is ugly," a girl from the high school across the street spat at me as she walked by with her friends. I've heard it before - sometimes it still hurts my feelings, especially when I think about how much better Brenda is than when we* first found her. Granted, she's never been a looker. At best, she resembles a junkyard dog, but she's my dog.
Brenda spent the first five years of her life in a basement in the Chelsea projects, either in a rapestand or cage as a "breeding bitch." The vet said she's birthed about 80 pups that were likely used to fight or as bait. The cage was so small that her badly developed bones and atrophied muscles make her walk with a wobbly gait like a puppy, though she is about six now and often damn cantankerous. When Brenda was thrown out, literally tied to a railing on West 19th street and left to die, she was covered in mange, infected from head to toe, and had never seen a car, a bus, a bike, or a blade of grass. Dog toys and balls baffled her. She reminded me of those sad stories of children kept in closets who suffer grave developmental and psychological delays as a result.
Some people say we should have put her down; she was so sick and needed so much rehabilitation. Some days I almost agree. Love doesn't conquer all when you have, understandably, long-term, deep-seated trust issues with human beings and all other animals, and continue to be terrified of loud noises, sudden movements, heat, cold, bright light, no light, and the list goes on...
We walk by couples eating at sidewalk cafes along Seventh Avenue - sometimes they both stare, wait until I've passed, and comment on what might possess me to have picked such a mutt, or maybe in kinder way, wonder what happened that she looks so "scrappy." Meanwhile, there are moments I look at them and wonder how much "looking good together" factors into their choice. Certainly in tabloids it seems having a beautiful date (either on the red carpet or in a "Just Like Us" shot in the parking lot) is something carefully considered. Is there pressure to keep trading up? Does a narcissistic celeb (or anyone, for that matter) more often choose a good-looking mate since they consider that person an "extension" of themselves? **
How my boyfriends react to Brenda certainly matters to me. Do they try to find something endearing about her ("Listen to that bark, ...quite a set of lungs on that 'ole girl") or are they visibly annoyed when she darts out in front of us full force because a plastic bag rustled and startled her ("Great, she's embarrassing too").
"Sex and the City" wannabees with little dogs in shoulder bags eye us warily. Why would anyone get such a homely, panting, grumbling, stumbling-like-she's-drunk, dog? No one wants to pet her; no one makes kissing or cooing noises at her when we pass. Often the same kids from the high school will bark at her without provocation. Like the fit guy with the fat girlfriend or the baby with the undeniably froggy eyes, are they puzzled at the odd coupling or do they feel awkward pity? Or do they assume she possesses redeemable qualities that aren't skin deep? Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder. For me, the looks my ugly dog receives are more telling of the looker.
*My friend Sara and I take turns caring for Brenda. To read more about Sara's experience with Brenda check out raisingrescues.blogspot.com
**Obviously, not all celebrities are narcissistic, though research shows there are more personality disorders like narcissism in entertainers.
Thanks for brightening my day. Go, Brenda!
Absolutely. God bless you for how you rescued and have taken care of Brenda.
Is this really about dog abuse or about other people hurting your feelings? Certainly they should see, just by looking at your dog, that you are a person who does good in this world? Don't they know that you would not have gotten a dog that looks like this (whatever "this" is) if it were not a poor abused dog?
Sorry, I know lots of folks in dog rescue. Lots of horrible stories. There are lots of everyday heroes who poor their last dime into saving dogs. And heartbreak when they had to put some down because they were too aggressive or other issues.
I also know plenty of people with dogs they had as puppies that had not been abused, but still had people say really stupid things to them on walks.
Your dog is still a dog. It is not an extension of you, no matter how much you love it. If you think that about your dog, you need to do some serious homework watching the Dog Whisperer on National Geographic.
And I'm a "love me, love my dog" kind of person. For me, that means you have to put up with a lot of drool and hair all over the place. Some people don't like to come over because of it. C'est la vie.
First get past the first hurdle, she is a pittbull, and some people react strongly to them, not without good reason. In the link she provided it is described how the dog, under a stressful situation even went after the handler with a muzzle on. Would any stranger be advised to make cooing noises, touch the face or head of such a dog? I would not allow people to come close to the dog unless I had 100% control over the situation.
Kids say and do stupid things. I once had a kid throw firecrackers at the foot of my 130lb dog as soon as she heard she was afraid of firecrackers, just to see what my dog would do.
Look, I understand dog snobbery. But on the other side of it is dog foolishness.
I have always had the larger breeds. It demands a good handler. We don't let our dogs get away with near the behaviors people let their little dogs get away with and I do get fed up with clueless little dog owners ("he's just being friendly"..... while the dog is acting very aggressively). But the fact is, the larger the dog the less you take for granted, and the more responsible you have to be, and the weirder people's responses are to you, no matter how gentle your dog or breed is.
Brenda's story also reminds me of how very important early socialization is in dogs, as it is in people. Dog trainer and vet Dr. Ian Dunbar advocates early socialization in pups (exposing pups to as much stimuli as possible when they are young) so they can function with confidence in the world. I know Brenda wasn't fortunate enough to have had that kind of exposure, but this is a good opportunity to tell others just how important early experiences are in the development in an adult dog. He writes about it on Dog Star Daily: http://www.dogstardaily.com/socialization-with-people
Brenda must have a big heart to have survived her ordeal and still be as functional as she is, she is one lucky dog in many ways.
the myth of all pitbulls being vicious killers. oh, and if anyone wants to do some good, there's a great organization that rescues animals called best friends, out of utah. they do amazing work, and can always use donations.
Drowning was a better life than they led in the factory farm.
Our dogs and cats (I have two and three, respectively) are just like them. In need of love. Next time you take a bite, remember.
Shouldn't vegans just have fruit eating bats or birds? Or lizards.
I go in the opposite direction. I feed my dogs raw meaty bones. I go out of my way to find beef heart, beef livers (ever cut up a 17lb beef liver?), turkey necks, chicken feet and all the other stuff that most people won't look at. It has given me an appreciation of all the waste we have in our society and I no longer cringe when I see other cultures being much more holistic in eating all parts of an animal and not just certain parts like we do.
This when I don't eat beef or pork personally. But I do eat fish and fowl and I have even started putting chicken feet in when making my own chicken broth.
Abusing adults only gets the regular hell?
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Goofy mutts are the best.
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It baffles my mind how people can so completely disregard animals; time and again these stories are heartbreaking. I think as much as you've given your dog (a chance at a life with lots of love in a safe home) she's given you a lot as well. Animals really extract the highest in us; they are so vulnerable and innocent. My own cat was a dumpster kitty; he was found in a NYC dumpster at about two weeks of age.
When I brought him home (I wasn't looking for a pet) he was flea ridden...and too young to treat with all those flea products on the market....but found homeopathic remedies to treat it and bathed him often; though not before he infested the house and I was covered with flea bites.
Theo is a trooper; and has made me infinitely more patient and kind.
But we all have to start everywhere, and compassion for cats and dogs is a good place to start. Don't criticize that just as a means to try to win an argument against anyone who isn't a vegan.