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Dr. Belisa Vranich Headshot

See You Next Tuesday

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My patient dropped her voice to a whisper, though we were the only two in the office. "She's such a 'See you next Tuesday'." It took me a minute. People usually don't mince words in therapy; they let loose and actual words--"cunt," in this case -- fly.

I'm in the biz. People come in and talk about their genitalia, others' genitalia, and the compatibility between the two. They also call each other names -- curses -- based on their privates.

Outside of therapy, in the real world, I do wish that the two fellows spotting another benching at the gym would stick to encouraging and inciting each other by using words like "pencil dick" or "numb nuts" rather than "pussy"...,But like we say in Spanish, "suavecito." I have to chose my battles.

Thanks in large part to Eve Ensler, and a trend in parenting to use proper names for body parts (mocked in the movie "Kindergarten Cop"), "vagina" is seemingly here to stay. Clitoris and its nickname "clit" are being used more frequently than "the man in the boat." You'll hear "labia" here and there, and even the unfortunate "vulva" (which still sounds like one of the stages where a caterpillar turns into a butterfly) every once in a while.

Maybe this genitalia name-dropping has to do with levels of comfort. Surely the rise in products that profess to reach, stimulate, or simply help find the elusive G-spot could be an indicator of this trend. Now G-spot as a word is getting a lot of airplay as of late. (Case in point: author of Vaginas: An Owners' Manual, Liz Topp, is currently in production questioning if it really exists at all!)

Marketing has definitely changed the stakes. Porn, grooming, labiaplasty, piercings, and pantiless celebrities, in addition to products that range from private part "handiwipes" to vibrators with more moving parts and settings than a drive-through car wash.

In the beginning of relationships, couples dance around what is offensive and what is a turn-on for the other. Men will tell you they tread carefully, since some words make women bristle and can kill the mood faster than a dental dam. For other women, those same words might be what finally takes her over the edge and into your pants. I tell them to let her lead the way--does she talk about her vagina in the third person as "princess"? Or is it a gesture "south," an eyebrow raise - you know, "down there."

Back to my patient. Later in the session she spoke about her own private parts. What did she call "it"? "My honeypot," she smiled, "of course."

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