See You Next Tuesday

My patient dropped her voice to a whisper, though we were the only two in the office. "She's such a 'See you next Tuesday'." It took me a minute. People usually don't mince words in therapy; they let loose and actual words--"cunt," in this case -- fly.

I'm in the biz. People come in and talk about their genitalia, others' genitalia, and the compatibility between the two. They also call each other names -- curses -- based on their privates.

Outside of therapy, in the real world, I do wish that the two fellows spotting another benching at the gym would stick to encouraging and inciting each other by using words like "pencil dick" or "numb nuts" rather than "pussy"...,But like we say in Spanish, "suavecito." I have to chose my battles.

Thanks in large part to Eve Ensler, and a trend in parenting to use proper names for body parts (mocked in the movie "Kindergarten Cop"), "vagina" is seemingly here to stay. Clitoris and its nickname "clit" are being used more frequently than "the man in the boat." You'll hear "labia" here and there, and even the unfortunate "vulva" (which still sounds like one of the stages where a caterpillar turns into a butterfly) every once in a while.

Maybe this genitalia name-dropping has to do with levels of comfort. Surely the rise in products that profess to reach, stimulate, or simply help find the elusive G-spot could be an indicator of this trend. Now G-spot as a word is getting a lot of airplay as of late. (Case in point: author of Vaginas: An Owners' Manual, Liz Topp, is currently in production questioning if it really exists at all!)

Marketing has definitely changed the stakes. Porn, grooming, labiaplasty, piercings, and pantiless celebrities, in addition to products that range from private part "handiwipes" to vibrators with more moving parts and settings than a drive-through car wash.

In the beginning of relationships, couples dance around what is offensive and what is a turn-on for the other. Men will tell you they tread carefully, since some words make women bristle and can kill the mood faster than a dental dam. For other women, those same words might be what finally takes her over the edge and into your pants. I tell them to let her lead the way--does she talk about her vagina in the third person as "princess"? Or is it a gesture "south," an eyebrow raise - you know, "down there."

Back to my patient. Later in the session she spoke about her own private parts. What did she call "it"? "My honeypot," she smiled, "of course."

Comments

[kappa08]

I think people take themselves too serious. Tact should always be in the equation.
Personally I can't be around people that I have to be cautious of every word. Inevitably I WILL offend them. Heck just look at my profile. Absolutely NO LID. But at least you know what is in front of you. And if you "get it", it could be the most entertaining ride of your life.

[gopackers]

I know! I think it's kind of funny, when you're with a new person . . . that dance of trying to figure out "what they call theirs," what turns them on vs. what offends . . . and then trying to communicate the same with her, or at least be forgiving if she accidentally offends, or calls it something just flat-out ridiculous. Maybe it's a conversation we should all just have right from the get-go!

[OtayPanky]

Who actually uses the word VAGINA in their bedroom talk?

Bueller?

Bueller?

Anybody?

[writeforlife]

Yeah, "vagina" is a pretty clinical-sounding word. Not very sexy, I agree. But why is that? I mean is "pussy" really that sexy? It's interesting to ponder why we consider certain words sexy, or offensive, or complete turn-offs. A lot of it has to do with cultural conditioning. But I think that anything that is techinical, medical terminology should basically be stricken from pillow talk.

[hershel62964]

Vote for peace. Vote for change. Vote for hope. And vote for OBAMA

[Yokel]

I'm for peace, change, hope and Obama, but posting that on unrelated posts is annoying and counterproductive. Campaigns don't send out spam e-mail for just that reason - you're not helping...

[wmbear]

THE CLEVEREST USE OF "PUSSY" I EVER HEARD...

Was when I was back home for my mother's funeral and my old high school girlfriend read about it in the paper, somehow found out the motel where I was staying, phoned me up and asked me out to dinner. We had a great time, drove back to her house (she was divorced) and she invited me in. I wasn't in any emotional shape to be thinking evil thoughts, but she picked up her cat and said to me, "Want to hold my pussy?"

Call me slow on the uptake. Under other circumstances, I hope I would have taken up her offer but I just mumbled something and left....

[zaza]

There's nothing inherently wrong with the word cunt or any other slang term for the female or male anatomy If the words in question are used in a positive, anatomically correct way . The problem is when these words are used in an abusive way as epithets. In general though, I'd say the increasing use of these words is a good thing. It's silly to have taboo words.

[writeforlife]

I agree. I think no matter what you call it, it is silly that Americans are so prudish when it comes to discussing things like sex and genetalia. That's why we all have so many weird hang-ups around it all. We are quite the repressed society here in the states. I'm not sure it's doing anyone any good.

[palealien]

Without bothering to do the math, I would guess there are more slang terms for the male unit than female.

[wmbear]

snatch, twitchit (rural midwest), twat, box (northeast), pleasure unit (military)... I could go on....

[strifeknot]

Cock, dick, peter, johnson, john, schlong, schwanz, pecker...this list, too, could go on.

[Aramingo]

I would bet that the bigger discrepancy would be in the number of terms for aroused genitalia. Without going into details, I could probably come up with a dozen terms for erections. I can't think of a single one for the female equivalent.

[mphalen]

The funniest thing I ever heard was when SpongeBob SquarePants said "See you next Tuesday" to a female character on the show that had been giving him a hard time.

[wmbear]

The funniest thing I ever heard ABOUT SS was when evangelical conservatives started accusing him of being gay....

[littlejohn1]

Yeah, I find it pretty tasteless in general when people use genetalia as an insult, because it always comes back to the standard "pussy" insult. It's amazing that so many people find that acceptable. I've even heard female friends of mine use it and I always think, "wow -- she just insulted all women and didn't even think about it!" But maybe it's the same thing my gay friends say about referring to each other as "faggots" -- they are allowed to say it to each other, but straight people can't say it to them. Maybe "pussy" is the same thing? I wouldn't know -- I'm a white guy and therefore there isn't much deragatory language out there like this that I can relate to. Which says a lot right there.

[wmbear]

HERE'S HOW I HEARD THE TERM USED AN AN INSULT...

This was back when my son played youth hockey -- and I'm talking YOUTH hockey, like 6-7 years old when we still had to tie our kids' skates on. So anyway, after one game where our town team lost, I was unlacing my son's skates while the guy next to me kept saying to HIS kid, "You little pussy." (You did this you didn't do that blah blah blah.) "You little pussy...." It was so obnoxious that it cured me forever of using the term in that sense (not that I ever had -- I don't go in for that kind of insult anyway, not even in jest).

[rachelchanteuse]

Wow -- to a CHILD? That is disgusting. That is how men grow up thinking of that word as an inferior insult. And the cycle continues . . .

[Clairvaux]

Have you read James Clavell's Shogun?

The culture described in that wonderful novel had a light hearted admiration for our nether regions and love making in general:

Golden Gully
Steaming Stalk
Jade Gate
Pillowing
Peerless Pedestal
etc.

A much healthier attitude, I would argue.

[photojane]

That is my favorite part of the Vagina Monologues -- when they list all the different words for "vagina." There are so many! Most of them I had never even heard of! It's interesting to me that we have these body parts that everyone comes up with their own personalized word for. Some even name them, like give them human names . . . I know guys do that with their parts, but women do it too.

[clevelandchick]

Cute post. I once asked my older brother once, what is the worst thing you could be called by another man...the first was the homophobic 'f' word and the second was pussy. For a woman it's the 'C' word. Why is one of the worst insults you can call either sex a name for the female sex organ? Last time I checked, the same men who would use either word aren't exactly running away from them.

[rachelchanteuse]

I agree! I mean, every once in a while you'll hear a guy who's being a jerk referred to as a "dick," but it's still a sort of machismo sort of insult -- not an insult of his manhood. A guy being a "dick," is probably behaving very differently than the "pussy" over there in the corner. I mean, come on -- pussies are brave! Most of them endure all sorts of abuse over the course of their owners' lives, push giant babies out of them, etc. What's wimpy about that?

[PlantGod72]

HA! LMAO....

Well said!

[charon]

"Pussy" is also an old English or Scot word apparently meaning "fuzzy," whence "pussy willow," and "pussy," meaning "cat." "Dick" or "dickhead" means "idiot," someone acting without using much of their brain, and is rarely applied to women; of course, pussy is also rarely applied to women. On the other hand, "cunt" is rarely applied to men, but only to women. "Cunt" appears to be from Latin or Greek "cunei-" meaning triangular in shape, similar to "crotch" (if different in derivation.) "Cunt," usually close to "bitch" in meaning, would be cognate not to "dick," but to another name for the male organ, "prick," a pejoritive applied to men, not women.

These are interesting phenomena of cultural psycholinguistics, reflections of deep-lying historio-cultural precipitates in the psychic structure of the members of our culture. The more we are conscious of them, the less we are mindlessly at their mercy.

[Atticus]

If that 's her "honeypot" the question arises, who's her Winnie the Pooh?

[HuffyChick]

Well......­..........­....we don't know who her "Winnie the Pooh is.....but after reading this article/posts I feel like a Tigger.

Ooops, I mean tiger!!