Sex, Antidepressants, And Faking It

Q: I heard you talking on Sirius radio the other day and a caller said he has lost his sex drive because of an antidepressant. This is happening to me, and my significant other says she rather have me be sad and functional than content and well, limp. -Seratonin or Sex, Houston

A: While I understand that the relief you feel at sleeping normally, being able to concentrate and not being irritable/sad makes giving up your sex drive seem worthwhile, she is just hearing that sex with her is not that important. Once you make sure she understands how life changing being chemically stable is to your daily functioning (and how you still find her totally sexy and irresistible) talk to your doc about lowering your dose on weekends or taking something that helps with libido. I have a feeling that if you are able to orgasm every once in a while she'll be content, and it will be good for you to remember what it feels like as well.


Q: I'm almost positive my girlfriend fakes some of her orgasms. I've been paying close attention to the differences of what happens with her body and her vocalizations and I think that I can really tell when she is pretending. I'm pissed and want to bring it up to her. How do I do that? -Pissed off in Seattle

A: Now exactly why are you doing this? She gets off sometimes, and the other times she is polite enough to try to give you the impression that she does. Instead of paying so much attention to the variations of authenticity of orgasms, you should be focusing on what the subtle things that happen when she does orgasm and duplicate them. Remember, women have to focus much more to orgasm and their concentration can be broken by simple things like noises, worries or distractions (someone once compared men climaxing to cars going downhill, and women's like cars going uphill - quite astute). Now if you can handle that your performance hasn't been good enough to inspire a big O then by all means, at some other time, gently mention that she shouldn't feel pressured to give a golden globe worthy moan and writhe...but truthfully, you don't sound like that kind of guy.

Comments

[starboymikey]

Buproprion (zyban, wellbutrin) is the one antidepressant that can actually improve orgasm and sex life.
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Yes, it can. That's been my experience too.

[LordMoon]

Fortunately the best way to be Chemcially stable is to take no drugs at all.

Taking a drug will never duplicate normal sleep. Eventually it will interfere with your sleep cycle if it doesnt already.

The best way to get a normal nights sleep, is to avoid taking any medication, and that includes over the counter medication, coffee, tea nicotene... Or street drugs....

Of course Anti depressants destroy you sex drive, don't just ignore their effects, that means they are already hurting you, and maybe in other ways you won't be able to detect until you try and stop them..

[klmebane]

advocating everyone who takes medicine to stop is very dangerous and disingenuous. there are some people that taking medicine is the only way to correct an imbalance. if they stop taking it, that balance goes away and they go nuts. its great that you are naturally chemically stable, but everyone is not exactly the same, and there are many people who greatly benefit from the medicines they take. that's like saying a woman should stop taking birth control because her body naturally keeps her from getting knocked up. or a schizophrenic should stop taking their anti-psychotic meds because when there weren't meds thats what everyone did. regardless of whether or not they become more dangerous without them. some medicines have (like all medical treatments) side effects, but there are many instances where the benefits outweigh the risk.

[NYCBear]

Men with low testosterone seem to have the highest rates of impotence when they take antidepressants. And low testosterone levels can trigger depression or make it much worse - for men, testosterone is important for a lot more than just libido.


Check with your doctor - the medical standard for what constitutes a "normal" level of testosterone is ridiculously broad, ranging from almost none to a huge amount. The standards body arrived at those numbers by testing the natural levels of men who they considered "normal", not by finding out what optimum levels of testosterone really are.


The right amount of testosterone to keep you functioning properly may be quite a way above the low end of the "normal" range. If you have low testosterone levels now, getting testosterone supplementation may make the antidepressants unneccessary, or may make them work a lot more effectively. And will probably help you have orgasms in a more normal way.

[rini]

Buproprion (zyban, wellbutrin) is the one antidepressant that can actually improve orgasm and sex life.

It may be an option if you are having trouble with another drug. Of course, you should be on the one that improves your life in general and not judge things on sex life alone (although some would differ ;) .)

Even the pill can affect orgasm. One thing I would never do is take testosterone. It is being thought of as the female viagra. However, I don't think it is that simple and testosterone can have bad side effects in women, including balding, bad skin and increased cholesterol/ heart disease risk. I don't know which side affect is the scariest, but I'm staying away. I don't want to become a German olympic swimmer from the 1970's.

[ADVOCATE4ZPG]

East German, please!