Veterans Day: The Fairest of Them All?

On most days of the year, some members of the service seem to be chosen as media favorites; they garner more attention, gratitude, and concern than others. Watch the clips of warriors returning home and notice how often they are rushing into the outstretched arms of a spouse.

Listen to the coverage and take notes. I started doing this a few years ago. One of my first entries was from a Nightline broadcast from December of 2004 about seriously wounded soldiers. Nightline noted that these soldiers "may not be able to do any of the things they did before. And that means the lives of their spouses are changed forever too."

There is a risk to selective coverage: It makes the service members who are not married - about half of them - seem invisible or insignificant. Where are the pictures of the friends, siblings, parents, and neighbors anxiously waiting to embrace them? Where is the empathy for the people caring for the wounded warriors who are single?

On the webpage "Reconnect America - Give Back to Those Who Give It All," visitors are asked to show their support for the members of the Armed Forces by donating to seven nonprofit organizations. Four of them describe their mission as helping the spouses or families of service members. Those people deserve support. But so do the important people in the lives of the soldiers who are not married.

When I interviewed service members for my book, Singled Out, some claimed that even the perks that were not targeted specifically to married soldiers, such as free phone calls, were sometimes doled out preferentially to them. I don't know if those perceptions were accurate. Some of the preferential treatment of married soldiers, though, is on the books.

Take pay, for example. Married soldiers have been paid more than single soldiers of the same rank as far back as World War I. By 2006, the disparity had grown to a 25% advantage for the married service members. (I describe other categories of differential treatment in Singled Out.)

I don't think single soldiers should get special treatment. They should get the same treatment. When an IED is about to explode, it does not stop to check the marital status of the person in the way, then go off with a whimper instead of a bang if the soldier is single.

Today, however, I have no complaints. When it comes to acknowledging the contributions of all service members, Veterans Day strikes me as one of the fairest days of all. On that one day of the year, only two questions seem relevant: Did you serve? And, did you serve honorably? If the answer to both is yes, that's all that matters.

That's why Veterans Day has a special place in my heart.

Comments

[Robert59]

You ask who is caring for the wounded single veteran. It's not the girlfriend, boyfriend, or buddy. It's the parents.

The married serviceman who is wounded and whose marriage can't survive the aftereffects ends up either on the street or back home with mom and dad.

It's beautiful (because of the humanity) and tragically sad (parents who are getting on in years and who have financial, health and other issues taking care of adult children who will never be independent again).

The law should be changed so these caregivers can get compensated for doing what the VA should be doing. Unfortunately they are not. They are either forced to quit their job, reduce their standard of living, or juggle work and care for an adult.

[freedomis]

VETS

He looked for enemies on the streets of Baghdad, searching into every nook and cranny hoping to last a time .

Now he searches for friends in every nook and cranny as he walks the streets and alleys of city, USA .

In a jungle, a rice paddy and mountainous terrain he left a buddy, a mind, a part physical and hoped for understanding and only what was deserved . Is that a crime ?

It was a budgetary consideration said politics as you are only 11% of the population and not enough of you vote to get what you should and at the least try to make you ok .

These are the faces of today, still, from a time of 40 plus or minus years ago to a desert campaign of months and an occupation of 5 years to today where depleted uranium will rule the day for years to come .

Of course all Vets count but this is for all the ones left without a home, a family, a Doctor or even the barest amenities not even a crumb .

A heart hurts that any soul should be among these yet even Jesus averred that some of these would always be with us.

Yet those who go to war for a people, whether warrior or citizen soldier should have all that a representative government can do for them, all without a fuss .

All of this is for the ladies and the guys .
With love to all, A Vet, Tony 11/11/07

[TheWesternBreed]

I had a (young, single, male) soldier once who told me how he liked his pay: "800 dollars a month equals 800 beers!"

[realitytrumpsbull]

2 words: War profiteering.

[ljsfolly]

Having had two brothers-in-law single while in the Navy and I saw the problems first hand. But like the other comments there should be fear in anyone at the top of the administration as the very idea of there being so many countries having weapons as we do should put anyone to think of what could happen to those placed in harms way when a diplomat has yet to do their part. Sure pay should be equal as being a female and having been paid less for just being that makes me angry as I was more skilled and did a better job but he was a guy "with a family". Bring the feelings of no war unless attacked to the streets and make those feeling heard is all we can do now.

[Merlin7]

This is one Army vet who wishes Americans would wise up to one thing: Most of the wars we fight nowadays are unnecessary and immoral.

Since 1960, America has slaughtered hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians and countless thousands of combatants, mostly because of the large egos in Washington, D.C. (Vietnam, Cambodia, Laos, Grenada, Panama and now Iraq. And I'm not counting several other conflicts that arguably also were unnecessary.)

With our ignorant politicians and our policies based largely on short-term greed and power, we have become the most dangerous nation on the planet. That's a hard thing for a loyal American to accept, but we have to accept it and start changing our government.

[CornellRedneck]

What a wonderful post! As an Army vet who was single during my enlistment, I salute you!

[jfor]

As a veteran who served honorably many years ago I find it increasingly harder to stomach any words of praise or compassion from the Poser in Chief. It is Bush who is the fake soldier, it is Bush who dons a military uniform for misleading photo ops, It is Bush who surrounds himself with soldiers during the many propagandistic speeches he gives. This audience is ordered to attend, ordered to be attentive, and ordered to be supportive.

Bush who's own service is questionable at best has weakened our military, placed these brave men and woman in harms way, dared our enemies to attack them, involuntarily extended them for months at a time with no warning, failed to provide them with the armor they need to protect their bodies and equipment, ignored the wisdom of this countries senior commanders, ignored the cries of their families and spouses and like other administrations has cut the benefits of those wounded in action and made it bureaucratically difficult to get the attention and aid they need and promised by our government.

On this Veterans day we need truth, we need reminding, we need leadership and we need to open our eyes to the facts on the ground. The war in Afghanistan is the righteous war and it is the war we have failed to win. Iraq is the war based on lies and is the war we were never destined to win. The war on Terror is not a war of all wars, it cannot be, for if it is then not only has the administration of Bush failed but our entire system of government has failed.

On this Veterans day let us remember. We have allowed our brothers and sisters to suffer and die for many years while our commander in chief encourages us to go shopping. So Happy Veterans day America and don't forget there are only 44 days til Christmas.

Veterans, thank you for your integrity, honor and bravery your service makes me proud to call myself an American.