03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

Cleveland Browns Name "Heaping Pile of Shit" As Their New Starting QB

In football news, the struggling Cleveland Browns have decided to shake up their starting offense by replacing the inconsistent QB Derek Anderson with a heaping pile of shit. The move comes as little surprise since Anderson, who has thrown 9 interceptions while only completing 2 touchdowns for the Browns this season, has admittedly played considerably worse than the pile of shit that is set to replace him.

"We're grateful to Derek [Anderson] for his hard work, but we as an organization feel it's best for the team if we turn to a heaping pile of shit to lead them at this point," said Brown head coach, Eric Mangini. "The [heaping pile of shit] has been taking snaps with the first team offense in practice all week, so we're confident that it will be able to at least keep us from completely embarrassing ourselves entirely."

While Browns fans were initially mixed about the sudden move, they were quickly reminded that in the past, the Browns have often turned to heaping piles of shit as their owners, general managers, head coaches, and first-round draft picks.

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