03/18/2010 05:12 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

iPhone Application Enables Parents to Keep Track of Who's Sleeping With Their Slutty Daughter

In technology news, the worlds of overbearing parents and their slutty offspring have finally collided with the release of the iSlut. The iSlut is an easy-to-use iPhone application that enables parents to keep track of who's sleeping with their slutty daughter.

"It completely changes the world of monitoring your slutty daughter," said iSlut creator, James Milder. "With the click of a button, parents can access information like who their daughter is sleeping with currently, in the past hour, week, and month. In the premium version of the application, parents can even see the job resume of the guy who's bonking their rebellious, Obama-voting daughter."

Parents across the nation have flocked to the iStore to purchase the iSlut. The iSlut has also received an astounding number of positive comments.

"Gone are the days of messing up Billy, Bobby, and Kareem," said a mother from Indiana.

"I don't even have to talk to my kids at all anymore," said a father from New York.

"I feel proud knowing that my daughter's last drunken act of intercourse was with a Harvardian," said a mother who labeled herself as a "former slutty daughter."

The application retails at a mere $.99, but is still not as cheap as your daughter.

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