In education news, a recently conducted study showed that 83% of children who play educational video games wrongly believe that "education leads to success." STAThead, the company who also conducted the study that linked violent video games to adolescent violence as well as lawnmower sales to pre-teen pregnancy, felt it was necessary to reveal the much more troubling reality about education.
"There was an astonishingly high percentage of misinformed children who are in for a real surprise," said STAThead executive Bill Myers. "These educational video games, which value learning fundamentals, hard work, and honesty, don't give our children the full picture of the real world. You will not find anything about 'rich delinquents being given sought-after internships,' 'knowing the ins and outs of tax law so you can steal billions of dollars from charities' or even 'the advantage girls with big tits have' in these educational video games. These educational video games may teach your children their multiplication table, but your kids will not have the know-how to do anything beyond being a barista at Starbucks or campaign staffer for a little-known, eccentric third-party candidate."
While most teachers and parents have objected to the results, claiming that "[the results are] merely a narrow-minded and disgusting outlook for our youth," STAThead calculated that 99% of those teachers and parents fell into the "complete failures in the real-world" category.
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