Tiger Woods Disappointed Wife Didn't Use Four Iron

In golf/domestic abuse news, Tiger Woods, who has been tight-lipped about the odd occurrence the other night, has now publicly displayed disappointment about his wife's club selection. Elin Nordegren, Woods' wife, reportedly used a pitching wedge to smash the SUV as Woods pulled away, however Tiger has claimed that he advised her to use a club with more power, like a four iron.

"Even though my lawyer suggested against speaking about her club selection, I'm going to be very open about it," said the haggard-looking Woods. "I can't even count how many times we've had the discussion about the proper uses of golf clubs when threatening someone. I've told her a million times that when you're looking to intimidate someone, you use an eight iron [because of the loft], when you're looking to beat someone on the ground, you use a three-wood [because of the ability to hit off grass], and when you're attacking someone in a car, you use a fuckin' four iron. She knows better than this, and I hope she realizes her error in judgment."

According to sources close to Woods, the couple's marriage is contingent on whether Nordegren apologizes for her poor club selection. Nordegren couldn't be reached for comment on the matter, but her lawyers have claimed, "We are not sure which club [Nordegren] was wielding, but we're confident she used a five iron or at least one of those popular hybrids."

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Comments

[writeaway]

09:56 AM on 12/02/2009

Tire iron might have been better.

[Ben Berkon]

10:48 AM on 12/02/2009

I hear that's good for getting out of thick grass (and debt).

[Rotobabe]

11:55 PM on 12/01/2009

Ben - I could not love this article more. Thinking about this on Sunday - I was thinking...she should have used a driver...but that's why I'm a patent attorney and he's a professional golfer...because he knows what club to pick for each situation.

Classic.

[Ben Berkon]

10:44 AM on 12/02/2009

Great, completely insensitive minds think alike then. :-)

[Ben Berkon]

11:17 PM on 12/01/2009

How much do you think this event will hurt Tiger's current and future endorsements?

[Rotobabe]

12:05 AM on 12/02/2009

I really think that it depends on how much comes out. Right now, this situation is looking a lot like Michael Jordan's issues - the child labor issues with Nike and undercurrents of affairs being covered up by his handlers. However, after looking at the way A-Rod was put up on a pedestal during the World Series - after the steriods and the womanizing...I'm not sure anyone cares anymore, other than just enjoying the diversion.

[Ben Berkon]

10:45 AM on 12/02/2009

And really, who else are they going to turn to in Golf?

[DC]

10:59 AM on 12/02/2009

A lot. He has sullied his brand. Not to cast stones, but when a man has a beautiful wife who blesses him with children and the lying and cheating on his wife and very young children the entire time? What does this do a family?

Would an advertiser want to associate their brand with that?

I wish the Woods well.

[Ben Berkon]

11:05 AM on 12/02/2009

I agree with you, but in reality, these types of things pass over with time in terms of the public's sentiment.

Heck, even Michael Richards was able to make light of his "n" rampage on Curb Your Enthusiasm three years after.

[oldgeek1]

08:03 PM on 12/01/2009

Based on Rachel's alleged association with other sports figures, TIgers wife should have used a baseball bat.

[Ben Berkon]

08:39 PM on 12/01/2009

Well said.