1. Both are into gambling.
Las Vegas does it with casinos. Attorneys do it with court cases.
When cases to go court, they become a gamble. A crapshoot. If you have been involved in a civil court case that went to trial, you know it. People who should win, lose. And people who should lose, win.
Ask me how I know... gambling is my business.
2. Both have hookers.
Las Vegas has them on practically every street corner. Attorneys have them in every office building, dressed in fancy suits. And it is not always the men.
Ask me how I know... when the price is right, some screw their clients. Figuratively speaking.
3. Both have misery.
In Las Vegas you can see the homeless and miserable on the street. Many attorneys are miserable but hide it.
Ask me how I know... I often feel miserable too.
4. Both are controlled by the powers that be.
Las Vegas is controlled by corporate mega powers. Many attorneys are controlled by the powers of the daily grind.
Ask me how I know... I am still in the grind.
5. Both charge a lot of money, often for little return.
In Las Vegas, the house wins and you mostly lose. Attorneys will usually win their fees, but clients lose a case 50 percent of the time (in every trial one party has to lose).
Ask me how I know... many times I got paid for a result that is little or next to nothing.
6. Neither could survive without secrets, or less than the full truth.
Whatever happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Do attorneys really tell their clients the whole truth about the chances of success, the weaknesses of their case? Upfront when they are interviewed by prospective clients?
Ask me how I know... half-truths are sometimes irresistible to pass up.
7. Both are into shows.
Las Vegas is full of shows. Attorneys are trained to put up a show in court.
Ask me how I know... the courtroom is a theatre. As counsel, I act my part.
8. Both are big on dining.
Las Vegas has great dining experiences. Attorneys couldn't go one week without dining fancy.
Ask me how I know... sometimes I feel that I went to law school just to be able to afford great dining with clients.
9. Both are involved in substance abuse.
Las Vegas has drugs everywhere. Some attorneys, because of pressure and stress, unfortunately cave in to substance abuse.
Ask me how I know... I have seen fellow colleagues fall victims.
10. Both create something from nothing.
Las Vegas is in the desert -- it was built on nothing but sand. Attorneys often fight over nothing, or meaningless matters. As they say, one attorney in a village will starve, but two will fight each other and make a fortune.
Ask me how I know... I live for a good fight, even over nothing.
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