Why The Hills Makes Me Love My Wife a Little Bit Less
As far as wives go, I definitely landed a good one. She's smart, pretty, loves the Red Sox, tolerates my Beavis-grade humor, and only gets mad at me when I really deserve it. But for the first time in our decade-plus relationship, I recently told her that something she was doing caused me to love her a little bit less. Unmoved, she shrugged her shoulders and continued watching The Hills.
For those unaware, The Hills is an unfathomably popular "reality" show that happens to be the highest rated program on MTV. It follows the mundane activities of a bunch of trust fund princesses from Southern California. Sometimes they shop, sometimes they talk on the phone, and sometimes they work at cushy, product placement-heavy internships until it's time to go shopping again.
My wife claims she watches the show strictly for professional reasons (full disclosure: she works at the Hills-happy Us Weekly), but that's nonsense. When the show comes on, she's like a toddler transfixed by a Disney movie she's seen 87 times. I could rev up three chainsaws, light them on fire and juggle them by her side, and she'd simply turn up the volume so as not to miss one monosyllabic bite of anti-wisdom from Lauren Conrad and the other future real housewives of Orange County.
And worst of all are the guys -- or should I say, "bros" -- of The Hills. In most girl-friendly TV shows and romantic comedies, the female character starts off with a scumbag, discovers the folly of her ways, and eventually ends up with the lovably intellectual anti-hero. My biggest problem with The Hills is that even though it's scripted, (or at the very least, prodded), it's still a reality show. And the reality is that these girls have no interest in the Lloyd Doblers and Seth Cohens of the world. They want the club-hopping himbo with a table at Les Deux and an Uncle in casting at New Line.
How on earth my normally smart wife and her normally smart friends are obsessed with this program is beyond me. These are girls that grew up in the John Hughes era, and champion subversively feminist chick-programming like My So-Called Life and Gilmore Girls. Now they're glued to the couch every Monday night to find out if tone-deaf chanteuse Heidi Montag and lunkhead loser Spencer Pratt's on/off relationship is like, um, on, or like, um, off. (Hint: until it's no longer commercially viable, there'll be no resolution).
See, The Hills is a world where The Karate Kid loses. Where Jake Ryan never notices Samantha Baker, and the only thing Seth Rogen hits is his bong. It's a superficial land of cute clothes, silver spoons, and girls who become celebrities for doing little more than fawning and fighting over the biggest sacks of douchebaggery since Fred Durst commanded his minions to "Break Stuff."
The Hills is a frighteningly addictive rock of girl-crack that's stranger than any fiction my wife and her pals usually go ga-ga over. And the scariest part is: it's reality.
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So... it's okay for her to like the Red Sox (your sports fantasy) but she turns to The Hills for a bit of fun and you love her less?
I hope she dumps your thoughtless ass.
Hit a nerve did he?
What is wrong with you people? Who actually watches those crappy "reality" shows? I can't stomach any of them!!!! It makes me scream at my TV and throw things at it. Then I change the channel and get glued to some stupid thing on how candy-korn is made....sheesh!
I hate the Hills and everything about it. It is indisputably fabricated and the content is so vapid that I'd argue MTV has achieved new lows in television. That said, don't you think your Sex and the City-loving wives would be writing similar blogs to this one if MTV was still airing (God forbid) Beavis and Butt-head? The author of this himself champions his "Beavis-grade humor," which I'm sure is equally cherished by his wife. Come on, everyone has a guilty pleasure, whether its watching some trashy faux-reality chicks or a completely moronic cartoon duo farting on a sofa. You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who watches The Hills lauding it as anything important or groundbreaking... the good news is, we can all agree that MTV has gone down the proverbial toilet and should avoid anything it attempts to put on the airwaves. At least, obviously, until Tila Tequila returns.
Part of what people love about tha Hills is that it's that mix of reality and fantasy. Parts of it are obviously scripted, but the bottom line is this girl Lauren was a random girl in Laguna and now she works for Teen Vogue and parties with celebrities. Girls can relate to her, but at the same time get lost in the fantasy of leaving home, and starting a new life with your girlfriends and a glamorous job. And I'll admit that it is fake and that MTV stages things, but at the same time, it's more real than other TV shows or movies. That's why girls love it! Because the teens and 20-somethings that watch are fighting with their friends, and having boy troubles. I can honestly say that most girls out there probably have had a friend like Heidi that essentially chooses the boy over the best friend. And most know a guy like Brody.Girls can identify, and feel like they know the cast, but at the same time it's seeing into a different world where Lauren has the amazing clothes and parties at Les Deux. As for loving your wife less because of it, I say who cares? Your wife is probably an intelligent woman who works hard. If she wants to shut her brain off for 30 minutes once a week and be a teenage girl again what's the harm? You're probably doing the same thing watching The Simpsons or Robot Chicken.
I used to have arguments with my fiance about The Hills. I work in TV, and as such I've seen the fake in it since the first episode I saw--the elaborate camera setups, the obviously arranged encounters. All lead me to believe that, if not fully scripted then at least heavily guided by creative minds behind the camera. She refused to believe me. Then all the information came out about how fake it truly is; it was a triumph for me. I thought that if she knew the truth, she'd give it up and be content watching Tivo'd episodes of Family Guy with me. Not so much--though she admits it's not a 'real' show, she still enjoys the manufactured drama, for drama's sake. It's a soap opera, and it makes her happy to watch it in the same way that a suburban housewife enjoys 'The Days Of Our Lives' or some-such waste of videotape. Any married man will tell you--if your woman wants to watch her stories, then just let her watch her stories.
Someone responded to you!
http://www.236.com/blog/w/aisha_muharrar/reponse_to_ben_hellers_piece_o_5587.php
It's a formula, tried and true. Books, movies, TV, all telling that same old story: young girl, beautiful (or not) living in exciting city, working in exciting career, going to all the biggest events in the world, being pursued by gorgeous young men. Stage Door (1930s?) with Katherine Hepburn about young girls moving to NYC to pursue a career in the theatre. Three Coins In The Fountain (1950s) about young girls moving to Rome to work in the U.N. (and meet handsome wealthy men). 90210, Sex and the City. It's vicarious, it's fun, it's fantasy.
I think the real question is - is he upset that his wife is watching the Hills or that she’s not paying attention to him? Heaven forbid she does something SHE wants to do for thirty minutes that a) does not involve him and b) he does not like. Maybe someone should climb down from their soapbox and take an inventory of the things he likes to watch (some of which she may consider intellectual garbage). However, chances are, he would probably never even know because she loves him enough to humor him and tolerate those things without complaining. If he can “love her a little less” for watching a tv show, perhaps his “Beavis-grade” humor is not the only thing childish here. Talk about douchebags…
It's a stupid show. It's stupid even for a reality show, and that takes special talent. Trying to justify stupidity by blaming this poor man is not the answer. Axing the stupid show is the answer. He makes a compelling point.
Interesting. I didn't know I had justified the show or stupidity (in fact, I've never watched it, nor have I any desire to do so). As to "blaming this poor man", I apologize. I was completely out of line. I shouldn't be so mean when he has it so tough. To compensate, I'll play my little violin for him.
I started to watch an episode of "The Hills" the other day, just to see what my students (I teach freshmen in college) are addicted to. I could stand it for exactly two minutes, then I had to change channels. I used to watch soap operas regularly, and I still don't mind watching an episode of "General Hospital" every now and then, but "The Hills" was more than I could bear. Since it is supposed to be "reality," it doesn't have to bother with a plot line or interesting dialogue. It's the vicarious rich-people equivalent of listening to a crazy person ranting on the city bus or watching people with annoying children in the check-out line at the supermarket -- cringe-worthy.
more posts from Ben Heller!
But Sumner Redstone just loves it-and so do advertisers-aka product placement heavy and this is the vision of shamless materialism they want to promote-to have (expensive?) things but don't want to go to the unpleasant part of having to work for any of it. But of course MTV was visionary when it started but now it devolved into this. Oh and don't forget the frequent and long commercial breaks promoting even more crappy stuff and shows.
There is a huge difference between Sex and the City and The Hills. STC was not supposed to be real. It was fiction that we all could get lost in because it was far from the life that most of us lived. The sad part of The Hills is that is supposed to be reality TV. These are people that really don't seem to have the sense that God gave a duck, but yet loads of people love to get lost in it for an hour or however long it's on. I will admit that I tuned in once so that I could see what all the fuss was about but will not be doing it again.
Well, the Jake and Samantha is from the movie 16 Candles with Molly Ringwald. Not sure of the rest. My question is why the hell does ANYBODY watch MTV?
Where Jake Ryan never notices Samantha Baker, and the only thing Seth Rogen hits is his bong.
I know what a bong is. And the Karate Kid. Never heard of the Hills,Jake Ryan Seth or Samantha.
Leave wherever you are right now, go to blockbuster and rent 16 candles....go, right now....
The Karate Kid must win. There can be no other way Daniel-san!
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Posted March 31, 2008 | 06:01 PM (EST)