Red Relative Blues: Swinging Matthew's Cousin

Years ago I tried to "swing" my handsome friend Matthew, who I had a substantial crush on. He wasn't willing to go my way, but my heart fluttered just a bit when he said to me earlier this month "Ben! We have to swing my cousin. He's in Ohio." Woof! Then I realized he wasn't talking about that kind of swinging. He was talking about our Pinko Magazine/HuffPost's OffTheBus series highlighting efforts to swing our McCain-leaning or fence-sitting relatives around the country.

As we wrote here last week, Claire was trying to swing her grandmother. We have some news on that front, but you'll have to go over to Pinko for the results. Here at Off The Bus it's on to our new challenge: With 5 days to go, can we swing Matthew's cousin?

THE VOICE OF REASON: Matthew, 31, founder of a creative strategy and web/graphic design firm for non-profits based in Brooklyn.

THE NOT-YET-BELIEVER: Matthew's cousin Brian, 28, Cleveland, OH. Brian is married with a new baby, used to work for a Cancer-related non-profit and is a fan of socialist musicians like Bob Dylan and Paul Simon. He's the son of a carpenter. "He's not socially conservative," Matthew told me. "I enter this conversation knowing he's a good guy."

HOW IT CAME UP: Matthew noticed Brian joined the "Nobama '08" Facebook group. Putting aside the silly branding (is that the best they can do? Take the candidates name and put a "no" in front of it?) this was disconcerting to Matthew, especially given where Brian is voting next Tuesday.

THE CHALLENGE: Armed with the knowledge that his cousin was about to vote for endless war a candidate he didn't believe shared his values, how far is Matthew willing to go to convince a relative he doesn't speak with very often to change his vote?

THE APPROACH: Matthew went right after him, diving in with a respectful but direct Facebook message. Here's their first conversation:

matthew: "hey brian, are you really against the idea of Obama as president? just out of curiousity, why?"

CousinBrian: "He would certainly not be my candidate of choice... I am not a right wing nut-job who is all about the Republican party ... I'm strongly independent ... I don't believe the free market is the only answer, but I just cannot justify a society that mirrors the socialist politics of Western Europe. There needs to be a balance and Obama is way too left for me."

Matthew's initial response was sincere and earnest. ("I always cheer for the underdog," he wrote, "whether it's poor people, the Cleveland Indians, or John Cusak. I will always support whoever best represents working families.") The sports metaphor was a nice touch. The Say Anything reference was equally inspired. But Matthew hadn't addressed the "too left" argument directly or firmly enough. He needed another chance.

THE OPPORTUNITY: Two Sundays ago, Matthew got his opening.

CousinBrian: "Matt, I will say, Powell's endorsement of Obama has shifted my opinion some. I have great respect for that man, and have grown to hate Gov. Palin. With those two elements in mind, I now feel it is not right for me to campaign against Obama. As an independent, I am discouraged by both parties, but do not want to put myself in the libertarian or anarchist category. Tough place to be as an independent, even tougher when you have two candidates who represent their parties with total disregard for bipartisan common ground for the people. Convince me otherwise, I'm open minded."

THE DISCUSSION: Taking up his offer, Matthew made a detailed case to his cousin that Obama is no radical, no socialist, and sadly for us that he wouldn't turn the country into Sweden. (We will post the full emails over at Pinko. The exchange is long: this stuff is hard work.) He went especially hard on health care, writing that even if Obama wanted to revolutionize health care, Congress would water it down anyway. His goal was to assuage cousinBrian's fears. It was a depressing argument in some ways, arguing that Brian shouldn't fear Obama because Obama will ultimately disappoint the left, but it was honest and possibly true.

More inspiring was Matthew's defense of liberalism, and his challenge of Brian's notions of what socialism and capitalism really are.

"We don't live in a free market. We have private colleges that work well mixed with a huge system of state universities. Would we be better off without one or the other? Our economy balances market freedom with market regulation. It enables us to build airports and bridges that take us to National Parks and public beaches. The battle in Washington is not between capitalism and socialism, it's between slightly more public and slightly more private."

Still, Brian wasn't convinced. "You make some good points," he wrote, "and I do actually favor Obama's current approach to healthcare. But we'll see if he sticks to the plan he has proposed."

Brian's issue, then, isn't the issues. He's just sick of being lied to. He went on to tell Matthew that Obama is pushing "a utopia," raising hopes and making promises he can't keep.

"I would have respected Obama more if he had said, "look, we'll and do the best we can to protect you and balance the budget, but the government cannot help you live your life and bring happiness' Sure, that is political suicide, but that is who I would vote for. "I need a perfect mix of JFK and Regan! Scary thought, but both parties have lost their integrity."

THE VERDICT: Matthew made some final points about Sarah Palin and her readiness. He artfully brought up John McCain's significant chances of dying in office. But as of last weekend Cousin Brian remains moved but not yet swung:

Great points ...thank you. Very thoughtful and engaging conversation, I will take everything into account. I must admit, your arguments are the best non-biased and thought provoking I have heard yet. Most people just assume I have lost my marbles and have no soul!

Unfortunately the McCain campaign has launched an all-out barrage on Obama focused on the ridiculous "socialism" argument, and making a case that we need a "divided government." They have been speaking right into Brian's concerns about Obama. Have we lost ground?

WHAT NOW?: Matthew has made a strong case. He has been respectful and smart in a very difficult conversation. But 5 days out who is Brian voting for? Will the new attacks work? Is it appropriate for Matthew to go back in one more time and ask? If so, what arguments should he use? Matthew could reinforce his own support for Obama, or address the narrative of the past two weeks. Ohio, as that clever MoveOn ad tells us, could hang in the balance.

Leave your ideas and strategies in the comments, or email us: [e-mail] with "Swinging Grandma" in the subject-line. On Monday we'll report back on Matthew's progress. We'll also share some of your last weekend efforts to push friends and relatives off the fence. With early voting underway and the election so close are you calling it a day, or still working on that last undecided Aunt in Phoenix?

Comments

[inkentucky]

Here in a very red state, I've had some discussions with people who just always vote Republican because, well, they just always have, but they are disgusted and fed up with the current incumbents and are afraid that McCain is no better. For some, McCain is not even really conservative enough, and they don't trust him. I argue that even if you think Obama is one of two evils, he's the lesser one, because he'll bring a fresh crew and a fresh perspective THAT CAN'T FAIL WORSE than what we have now. Give them a try, I say. People do at least think about that. If that isn't working, I say, OK, so if they are both bad, just sit this one out. Don't vote. As a Republican, send a message to the party that you don't like what they are offering. My state will still go red, I'm sure - too reflexively Republican without any thought behind it - but maybe I can swing a few popular votes towards a mandate for Obama.

[lpbnj]

I tried to convince my brother in western pennsylvania to vote obama but he is convinced obama was born in kenya , is muslim etc. He believes all the smears he hears on limbaugh radio---this is sad because he would do economically better under obama and nothing is going to trickle down from macain.

[SOLERSO68]

Keep the discussion going with these folks.I dont think anyone but Barrak can bring them around, because i dont believe that they believe, their own arguments against him. I think they have a personal distrust/resentment/fear of him. Sometimes its race, sometime the "celebrity" that people see him as have. Think of all the "walk on water jokes", you hear.thats resentment. I would bet that brian avoids watching or listening to Barrak whenever he can change the channel, or the subject. Eventually Barrak will have to win these people over.

[littlejohnpa]

Good god if it's that mind-numbingly difficult is it worth it? The US are idiots.

[officewag]

My nephew is all out campaigning in Wisconsin to try to swing votes towards the repugs. He is smart, but as a CHristian from one of those mega-Churches, Palin's a favorite. He has jokingly suggested a shoot-off
(basketball, not pistols) between Palin and O'bama!! (Thinks it would be an across the aisle moneyspinner.)

There is a red fog which sometimes seems inpenetrable! Bummer

[njsmith]

I haven't been to your other site . . .
In case it's possible to be gentle but true about the facts of the type of lies told, and the documented attitude of McCain and his campaign to their own ads, it might help.

It seems as if Brian is the type to think and research. It seems he needs more facts.

Also - one of the biggest points in making a "sale" is to ask for it.

"Personally, Brian, I hope you will vote for Obama. I intend to."

[luckyrico1]

My brother-in-law was set to vote against the Republicans because of how they screwed up everything and then he fell in love with.... Palin. There's no convincing him that she is not the girl for him (our country). It's pathetic. He's an evangelical. That explains the irrational attraction. There was a reason our forefathers wanted the separation of church and state.

I hope everybody else has better luck.

[BillCarson]

Maybe Matthew should read George Lakoff. Matthew was far too defensive.

Never once in the conversation was Bush mentioned. What does CousinBrian think about George Bush? And why would McCain be any different? It's the same republican party, same platform, same failed ideology. McCain voted with Bush 90% of the time.

Does CousinBrian think the country is on the right track? If not, it's time for a change, and McCain isn't it.

[TivoliEclipse]

HEY REPUBLICANS! YOUR PERFORMANCE IS UNSATISFACTORY. YOU'RE FIRED!!!!

[fem56]

My husband voted for BushX2 to my horror. I thought the Iraq war was insanity from day one. He is a fiscal conservative but he thinks that Obama's fiscal policies make a lot more sense. Really the tax structure has changed a lot since Reagan. The rich have gotten so much richer and the middle and working class are struggling like they shouldn't be. So really we are just going back in time to a more fair system. I remember getting medical insurance that covered 100% of my bills. Now that may not happen again but was that socialism? I believe Reagan was president during this time too. How about Alaska and taxing the oil companies and dividing up the wind fall to the citizens at the same. Having a surplus in Alaska and then taking money from the federal government for projects. Isn't that socialism?

[NationalTreasure]

ask cousin Brian what he thinks about Autism and Sarah Palin's plan that she spoke about three weeks ago? If he says he agrees point out that what Palin proposed is pure socialism

ask cousin Brian if he thinks public shools and universities, even with their flaws are valuable for our nation? If he says yes point out that they are a form of socialism.

ask cousin Brian if he likes and all volunteer Army, and local, county and state police? If he says yes point out that is a form of socialism, otherwise we would have to rely on local militias.

ask cousin Brian if he realizes even volunteer fire departments receive public funds? If he does not educate him and point out that our fire departments once were private and how many lives were lost because of the turf wars between private companies.

ask cousn Brian if he thinks county, state and interstate highways are a good thing? If he does point out that they are a form of wealth redistribution and socialism

point out the specious arguments that the republicans make about not raisng taxes and saying they will make tax cuts but the republicans do not say what they will eliminate for the budget that will ensure that all of the above services will not have to be cut when their federal funding is cut

[missedith]

Don't forget public libraries...a form of socialism.

[annabella1966]

My mom has been working hard since the primaries on her cousin and cousin's husband, die-hard Republicans complete with the Lincoln Navigator sporting the de rigeur "W" sticker. (I will say this: I adore and respect them, no matter what their politics are.) Both have moved from insisting that "McCain's alright" to "uh, we're just not voting this time" to... the slightest hint that they might just go Blue this time, though I'm not sure they'll admit it to anyone. I'm tempted to send them an "O" sticker for their Navigator but, as Matthew is showing with his cousin, the soft-sell sometimes works better! ;-)

[Benj4Peace]

My mama, a lifelong republican in Cincinnati, cast her absentee ballot for Obama. I knew I could count on my dad, but when Mom told me she voted my way (with great reservations), I nearly cried.

[moldndecay]

Well, Matt could have talked to his new 'baby daddy' mentality and mentioned (dont know if he did or not, didnt go to Pinko) that with a health care system modeled on those "socialist" European countries, the USA infant mortality rate would climb from last place in the industrialized world.

[ljmoffice]

Please call my sister in Cincinnati!!! LOL