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Benari Poulten
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Benari Poulten is a writer and comedian. He is one half of the sketch comedy duo The Sophisticates and he's a Master Sergeant in the U.S. Army Reserve, a veteran of Operations Enduring Freedom and Iraqi Freedom. The thoughts and opinions expressed here are his own and in NO WAY represent the views of the United States, the U.S. military, DoD, or any official organization, real or imagined.

Entries by Benari Poulten

What Do Martians Have to Do with the Girl from Ipanema?

(0) Comments | Posted July 9, 2014 | 2:01 PM

If you've been in an elevator or a waiting room, you've heard "The Girl From Ipanema." It's the song that made the bossa nova famous!

The story goes that Antonio Jobim and Vinicius Moraes were sitting in a bar in Rio de Janiero, drinking and watching girls, when...

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Ukraine is Putin's Blueberry Hill!

(0) Comments | Posted May 14, 2014 | 2:53 PM

Remember when everyone went nuts over Vladimir Putin playing piano and singing Blueberry Hill at a charity event a few years back?

What if Putin was really singing about his plans for Ukraine?!

Sure it sounds crazy, but just look at some of the lyrics to the classic...

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Maybe the U.S. and Russia Should Be Like Rocky IV

(0) Comments | Posted March 13, 2014 | 3:03 PM

Senator John McCain doesn't think that Russian leader -- and potential Bond Villain -- Vladimir Putin knows the Cold War is over. McCain told Andrea Mitchell on MSNBC:

I think many things and I'll try to be brief. One is a fundamental understanding of Vladimir Putin....
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Is Vladimir Putin a Bond Villain?

(1) Comments | Posted February 14, 2014 | 9:29 AM

Is Vladimir Putin using the 2014 Winter Olympics in Sochi to become the next great James Bond villain? Let's look at some facts.

The greater Sochi area is smack dab in the middle of one of the most dangerous, volatile regions in the world, marred by violence...

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But, Seriously, How Did Rob Ford Get Elected?!

(0) Comments | Posted January 27, 2014 | 3:53 PM

You just can't keep Rob Ford out of the news. This past week alone, he's been the answer to a Jeopardy! question, a punchline on the late night shows, and - oh, yes - the star of a brand new video! Sure, the increasingly erratic and...

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Old School Vampires Hate Twilight

(0) Comments | Posted October 24, 2013 | 7:03 PM

Have you ever wondered how old school vampires would really feel about this new generation of young, trendy, hipster bloodsuckers? Fellow comedian Kevin Janus and I have. And we doubt they'd like these young'uns very much.

So, just in time for Halloween, The Sophisticates present the...

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G.I. Jew Explores Canada (in Kandahar)

(3) Comments | Posted October 21, 2011 | 4:54 PM

Oh, Canada. Is there nothing in the world that you can't make better with your kind spirit and love of hockey?

Why are we talking about Canada? Fair question. Well. My good friend and comedy pal Kevin Janus (he's Canadian!) runs a terrific Canadian-themed comedy show...

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Disalmanac Guide to Afghanistan

(10) Comments | Posted September 8, 2011 | 5:25 PM

Friend and fellow HuffPo blogger, Scott Bateman runs the increasingly omnipresent Disalmanac, presenting hilarious "fact-like facts" about anything and everything throughout history . Well. I love history, hilarity, and disinformation, so it just seemed natural for me to provide my own entry -- live on tape...

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Two Jews Walk Into a War

(79) Comments | Posted August 2, 2011 | 9:05 AM

It's 0530 in the morning and I'm packed into a cement bunker along with dozens of groggy troops as a pre-recorded voice booms over the base loudspeakers, letting us know that we're in the middle of another rocket attack. It's an all-too familiar morning here in Kandahar; so much so,...

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