Gay Wedding Fatigue? Suck It Up.

Gay weddings are a very good thing. I plan them for a living. So when I read this weekend's New York Times story on gay wedding fatigue, I was naturally annoyed.

I get it, but just a little bit. Weddings can be expensive and annoying for guests... but you see, when the rights of a minority group are withheld, of course there's going to be pent-up demand and a subsequent surge when rights are granted.

I would hardly call this a bad thing. None of the "fatigued" mentioned in the article indicated they'd been to more than a dozen gay weddings even in the past year. The author has been to six gay weddings with two more coming up -- so eight in two years. Not a big deal in my opinion. We've all been to loads of straight weddings over the years. Suck it up -- or don't. You don't have to go! We all have busy Saturday nights... This is a good problem to have.

The author did give some humorous examples of some of the antics of gay weddings. I happen to love the way the dance floor inevitably gets packed during "Dancing Queen" and I, too, may have rolled my eyes at "Love Will Build a Bridge" but the fact remains, that these weddings are incredibly emotional and joyous.

See, these couples FINALLY get these rights -- and given the history in America of same-sex marriage rights being granted and then stripped away (i.e. Maine, California) -- or possibly stripped away this November (Maryland, Washington), who wouldn't want to rush to the altar?! Granted, New York's law has been more stable than other states, but still, some same-sex couples have that fear.

At this point in my career, I've been to hundreds of gay weddings -- the little ones on a Tuesday afternoon with just a few guests in the park, and the big bashes with drag queens and show girls. I had one of those myself. And honestly, they are still emotional for me. That feeling of "Finally!" is transcendent. That feeling of "Finally!" is what truly separates gay from straight weddings. Us same-sex couples don't take our rights for granted. That emotion makes for amazing marriage ceremonies -- which then lead to truly off-the-hook receptions!

Even if, as in the op-ed's example, there is an occasional nude gay wedding on Fire Island, or a wedding where all the guests are required to submit a photo of their planned outfit in advance for approval, which might be a lot to ask of your guests, I can promise them that it'll be one hell of a party.

 

 

 

Follow Bernadette Coveney Smith on Twitter: www.twitter.com/gaywedding

Comments

[Robert Sweeney]

06:18 PM on 07/26/2012

Thank you, Ms. Smith, for this article. That op-ed piece in the New York Times really irritated me, and was clearly self-indulgent bitchiness. Being invited to "too many" same-sex weddings is a "problem" we should treasure after all the work we've put into getting this far, and there is still so far to go. And you are absolutely right -- if you receive more invitations than you can handle, then politely decline some of them. That's far more classy than going to the op-ed pages of the NYTimes to bitch about it. I would be absolutely horrified if I had been one of the couples whose wedding the author of that op-ed piece had attended. Something tells me he'll be getting far fewer wedding invitations going forward. Thanks again!

[Katie Scarlett OHara]

03:24 PM on 07/26/2012

I have already been to seven (heterosexual) weddings in a year and still have at least two more coming up in the summer. To the author of the original piece I would say, welcome to the world of a 20-something. I feel like I am at a wedding every other weekend. It gets expensive, but I love seeing my friends and celebrating!

[mo524]

06:20 PM on 07/27/2012

You think going is bad wait till your freind makes somthing up and you have to figure out what the hell is a bridesman supposed to do. Don't get me wrong in that drunken irish way of mine I loved the idea at first of course the next day I was like what did I just sign up for.