Make sure "When a Man Loves a Woman" is not on your set list.
No offense to Percy Sledge.
That's just one of the pieces of advice I give when I'm talking about gay weddings. And I talk about gay weddings all the time. I've planned hundreds since 2004, when I opened my company 14 Stories, when gay marriage was legalized in the first U.S. state, Massachusetts.
We live in New York now and plan same-sex weddings here (as well as Massachusetts and in four states plus D.C. -- the other places it's legal) and since the law is new in New York, I'm frequently asked the question, "What's the difference between a straight and a gay wedding?"
The answer is -- a lot. And also -- not very much at all.
I hear it all the time, "Love is love!" But in the eyes of many family members and politicians, love is not love. And this makes planning a gay wedding much more complicated. For example, almost all of my clients have some family members (often parents) who don't accept the marriage and won't attend the wedding. It's very emotional when one of my brides tells me about her dad who won't attend the wedding. Or the groom whose mom won't dance with him -- and actually, would rather not be there.
And did you know that, in 29 U.S. states, it's legal to refuse services to a couple just because they're LGBT? Those are states where a wedding photographer could literally say to a couple, "I won't shoot your wedding because you're gay." Could you imagine hearing that when planning your own wedding? It's not fun, but it's the reality that same-sex couples face. They literally have to come out of the closet over and over again.
And then there's the matter of the aisle. Who walks down the aisle last? What if there are no brides? Or two brides? Well, we work it all out -- often with two aisles -- so each partner gets his or her moment (and I get another place to decorate).
So yes, the wedding planning is different for same-sex couples. But the weddings themselves? They look pretty similar, actually -- but they feel much different.
Same-sex weddings usually have a ceremony, cocktail hour, then dinner and dancing. Everyone sits at chairs and has a nice dinner. There are toasts and sometimes a cake cutting, but the cake topper won't be one bride and one groom. Pretty predictable stuff. But gay weddings are often not religious or traditional and frequently don't have things like receiving lines or garter tosses. Sometimes there are no wedding party members and often the dad doesn't walk his daughter down the aisle.
But the love is there and rich and in the hundreds of legal weddings in which I've been a part, there is an amazing sense of equality and spirit of triumph. The energy is exhilarating. I've had clients in their eighties, together for 40 years, and these couples can finally get married. The weddings celebrate that achievement and do not take it for granted.
In my wonderful world of gay weddings, it's not all taffeta and tulle but I do believe that we are making gay weddings equal weddings - and then someday, just "weddings". And, bit by bit, I won't be asked the question, "What's the difference between a straight and a gay wedding?"
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Author Lisa Eve
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It really amazes me that there are those in the industry that do that. I am proud to say that I am not in that category.
Michelle
love is love
although some of us have to fight and scream and go to parades to be allowed to
fully celebrate ours
great job
chef rossi
the raging skillet
But really, they don't need to be gay. They need to be gay-friendly. And, they should also be good at what they do.
Boyd Lemon-Author of "Digging Deep: A Writer Uncovers His Marriages," a memoir of the author's journey to understand his role in the destruction of his three marriages, helpful for anyone to deal with issues in their own relationships. Information, excerpts and reviews: http://www.BoydLemon-Writer.com.
Talk about self-promotion.
Why in heaven's name would you want to have your wedding photos taken by someone who wasn't on board with same sex marriage? It's like having your car repaired by someone who doesn't like you. Not a good idea in either case. There are many, many photographers who would jump at the chance, just as there are many ministers who would perform the ceremony and many inns that would be happy to host the honeymoon. Trying to force someone who does not believe in gay marriage to be involved in one seems petty. If we want others to be tolerant, we must show them how by being tolerant of their sincere beliefs.
What you mean is "lust is lust" ;-(
No different than any other relationship that is in and of this wicked, evil world!
"Come Out of her, MY people!"
"Come Out" of the systems that are of this wicked world(babylon) and especially it's systems of religion!
For multiplied millions have been killed and enslaved in the name of the god(s) of this or that religion ;-(
And because of religion "The Way of Truth is evil spoken of"!
For the fruit of death is bore of religion's way,
Because life is but a pawn in the wicked game they play!
And Faith will not create a religion, for Faith IS Family!
What are brothers and sisters of the same Father?
The Family of "Our Father", "of WHOM the whole Family in Heaven and ON EARTH is named"!
So it is that the children of "Our Father", liken unto their Brother The Messiah, are but "aliens and pilgrims while on the earth" for they know that their "citizenship(Life) is in Heaven".......
And soon, and very soon, Home, Home at last!
Till then:
Father Help! and HE does.......
asimpleandspirituallife.org
- Gays are a small minority in any population
- Most marriages are heterosexual, and most of those marriages end in divorce
- The 10 Commandments and the words of Christ NEVER ONCE mention gays
- Christ did mention divorce more than once
Prove you're a christian and not just a homophobe and channel your energy to denigrating things Christ actually focused on!
And, good luck with that.
Cheers, Joe Mustich, CT USA
Officiant, Celebrant, Justice of the Peace,
& Non-denominational Minister
Everyone gets the same license from town hall and everyone gets to articulate their own ceremony.